beardmasterlegham-blog

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when you drive your chevy to the levee but the levee is dry and you see the good old boys drinking whiskey and rye

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Josuke: Hey Rohan wanna gamble?

Rohan: Kinda busy trying to find the serial killer in our town. You wanna maybe help with that?

Josuke: Nah Jotaro said I should focus on high school.

Rohan: ...

Rohan: Josuke it's July.

Josuke: JOTARO SAID-

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Jonathan: maybe Dio is being sincere this time…

Speedwagon:

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Fantasy RPG Races as Dogs

Human:

Elf:

Dwarf:

Halfling:

Half Orc:

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He’s had enough of being Number 2.

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Paladin: And stop using the term “butthurt” what are you, twelve? Bard: Oh, I’m sorry, I meant to say you sound Fannytroubled. Rouge: A bit Bootybothered if you ask me. Gunslinger: Havin’ a little TushyTantrum. Cleric: Need an Asprin for your Asspain?

(via yourplayersaidwhat)

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The Bard's Survival Skills

(Context: Every night our ranger and Beverly the wagon driver go hunting for food and my gnome Bard Glitz Shebang wanted to try. But she has no strength or survival skills. She still goes off on her own to try hunting.)

DM: Ok so you go into the woods and see a squirrel in a tree.

Bard: I use Speak With Animals

Squirrel: What? Who is this? I am afraid.

Bard: Don’t be afraid little squirrel! I’m a friend!

Squirrel: Friend? What? What is friend?

Bard: Did you know the word of Desna my god? She says every day a squirrel must sacrifice themselves to her followers! If they do, they get all the nuts they can eat in thr afterlife!

DM: uuuuh roll bluff *gets 24* jesus

Squirrel: Food? I get food? What is sacrifice? *comes down tree* can I bring the food to my family?

Bard: how about you bring the whole family and everyone can get some food?

Squirrel: *leaves and comes back with other squirrel and 4 babies* *speak with animals wore off*

Bard: ok so i have nothing to kill them with actually. Um… I reach toward them and offer my hands.

DM: The squirrels climb onto you.

Bard: I walk back to camp and ask someone to kill the squirrels for me.

Ranger: ok

DM: Fine. The squirrels die willingly. Beverly is HORRIFIED. Also she already hunted enough for the whole group so those squirrels died NEEDLESS DEATHS. Arent you aligned chaotic good? Do that again and that will change.

Bard: I make squirrel soup.

DM: It is delicious but heavy with of the weight of your crimes.

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A very subtle rogue

*party had to break into a bank to steal a safety deposit box*

Rogue: Hello, I would like to open up an account

Teller: okay, can i get your name and whether this will be a business account or a private account?

Rogue: Sure, my name is Robert Indie Banks

DM OOC after a beat of silence: Are you fucking using Rob Indie Banks as an alias for a character whose going to be robbing the bank?

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The almighty orc slayer

Level 1 adventure. Basic party or ranger, cleric, fighter and rogue. Ranger calls himself an orc slayer. Picks every ability and weapon possible in order to fight orcs. First fight begins. We’re fighting an orc. He wins initative Ranger: “Do your best orc! This shall be the day you be struck down by my blade!” DM Rolls. 20. Crits. Crit confirms on 19. DM: “…” Ranger: “…” DM: “You don’t have 32 HP by any chance do you?” Rogue: “He might be dead but his memory is not. Ogrim the Orcslayer shall go down in history as Ogrim the Orcslain.”

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Let’s talk about my boi Vegeta and DBS Episode 122

This is probably one of my first times weighing in on anything Dragonball in any public medium, and hoo boy it’s a long one so strap in.

(TL;DR: My theory is that Vegeta is going to attain an alternate form of Ultra Instinct that will grant him the power of Accelerated Probability)

Let me just start off by saying that while Vegeta is my favourite character in all of Dragonball, I stand firm on my belief that he will NEVER surpass or even match up to Goku’s raw fighting strength. In all honestly I’ve accepted this, and am honestly fine with it.  It's not that he can't. It's that he shouldn't. 

Goku's character literally boils down to "I wanna fight strong guys and get stronger." That's basically it. It's the mantra that drives practically every action he takes, and hell it even drives the narrative to an extent. (he is the titular character after all) The Tournament of Power would not exist if not for Goku wanting to fight strong guys. That's why Goku HAS to be the strongest, because without that his character is essentially nothing. 

Meanwhile I am more than content with Vegeta being put on the backburner when it comes to epic fights, because they are replaced with touching moments in Super that show how much his character changed over the years.

Compare that to DBZ in which even later on in the series he was practically always angry about something. Vegeta is one of, if not the most well-developed characters in all of anime in my opinion, and honestly I'm content with just that instead of wanting him to be #1 strength-wise. 

Another reason why I never understood fans wanting Vegeta to attain Ultra Instinct is that the form really just does not suit his fighting style, or him as a character. The first time we saw Goku use it, he was basically some kind of vessel for this higher power; hell the guy had to fade out of consciousness to even achieve it. There’s something uniquely primal about it, what with the roars of other voices combined with Goku’s voice in its debut, and just the fact that Goku wasn’t making any sort of preparative motion to attack or seemed to think prior to acting at all. 

When you consider all that, it’s a perfect match for Goku. Whis foreshadowed it waaaaaay back in Resurrection of F, hinting at a level of power where one could have their body move on its own appropriately. He also stated Goku and Vegeta’s respective shortcomings, saying that Vegeta was too tense and thought too intensely in battle, whereas Goku was absentminded and careless despite his amazing natural instincts.

While Vegeta has shown to have improved his high-strung attitude and even gone so far as to slouch in battle in an attempt to loosen up, I feel as though his tactical prowess and ability to analyze and adapt to his opponents techniques  is something so fundamental to his character that I would be shocked to ever see it change. It’s what makes him Goku’s foil, and it’s a huge part of why so many people love his character.

Which finally brings me to what I wanted to talk about in regards to Episode 122, as well as that spicy preview for the upcoming Episode 133.

The preview for 122 had everyone hyped, since it showed two major things: Vegeta landing two impactful-looking blows on Jiren in just SSJB, and him using the Final Flash. After having watched the episode, the way these events play out pretty much solidified my belief that Vegeta will not get Ultra Instinct. Or at least not the same UI as Goku did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLj_oT1zYvg

The way he lands his first hit on Jiren was far more interesting than I expected. By observing Jiren’s attack, he is able to predict the movement patterns of his recycled animation--uhh I mean flurry of punches, and go in for the counterattack.

Now hear me out. Vegeta is very observant. But there is NO WAY you can just see the exact positioning and trajectory of each punch in a flurry of probably hundreds of punches, occurring in the span of like 2 seconds. Let alone the first time you’ve seen it. Not to mention, why only that attack and not any other of Jiren’s attacks? If Vegeta could just see through him that easily, couldn’t he have been doing it consciously the whole fight? Could it be that this is a new ability Vegeta has within him that he has yet to truly master, but is bubbling at the surface?

The combination of these factors leads me to believe that this is the first step towards Vegeta obtaining a new form that suits him better than UI, and him being able to see Jiren’s movement patterns so clearly in this episode is the first inkling into what that might entail. 

Before I share my prediction for this power, I wanna point out one last scene that really sold me on Vegeta achieving something other than UI. (Also I really just wanna talk about this scene because it’s great)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrq2uDEQWxI

Besides just the moving soundtrack, the incredible visuals, and of course the nostalgic throwbacks to Vegeta’s Final Flash against Cell, two lines in particular spoke volumes to me:

“I can never throw away who I am!”

“Kakarot can have his Ultra Instinct! I’ll defeat you in my own way, Jiren!”

Do you think someone who owns his arrogance unabashedly, proudly proclaiming that he’ll never throw away who he is, would ever truly want a form that may remove the user from full control of themselves?

After this scene it felt wrong to imagine it. I might be looking too deep into it but it’s not a form I can see fitting him with this in mind. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITeApg8_w2Y

Now everybody who watched the ending credits and the preview for 123 know 2 things: 

1. Vegeta is going to “awaken to an amazin’ power beyond Super Saiyan Blue” (And it ain’t Mastered SSJB, cause that would be a pretty weak payoff for all this build-up and that ship has long past sailed in the manga).

2. This form will allegedly have the same pupils as UI, but different hair, very similar to SSJB but darker, and it’s aura looks to be darker as well with some tinges of purple thrown in there.

My prediction for what new power this form will give Vegeta? 

Accelerated Probability

In this new form, Vegeta would be able to see all the potential movements of his opponent in a span of milliseconds, before they even take those actions. He could then use all these variables presented to him to determine the best course of action he should take to succeed. Something like this seems like the most logical step. This way, the separate forms of UI can have this opposing duality while playing to their respective users greatest strengths. Goku has the form of the Body, while Vegeta would have the form of the Mind. It fits them both well, and it would make Vegeta predicting Jiren make so much more sense. 

Wow. This took a long time to write, and probably a long time to read. If you did read it all, then holy shit you rock, thanks for sticking with me. And keep in mind, I am in no way claiming that this is exactly what will happen, just a neat little theory. I suppose he only way to find out is to tune in to DBS next week!

#dragon ball super #vegeta #super saiyan blue #ultra instinct #theory #jiren

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The year is 2048

To increase efficiency and reduce writer costs, all sitcoms start with the lead character looking at the camera and simply saying: “Women, am I right?” The remaining 21 minutes consist of a looping laugh track that gets gradually louder while the camera slowly zooms closer into his cold, dead eyes.

#sitcom #dystopian future

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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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