bear-momma

[bear-momma]

I'm been wanting some little time all this week, and I finally got time today for it ^^

I took a bathy with bubbles and had some breakfasts. I cut my toasts into star shaped!! 😁 I think toasts taste better when in fun shapes 😋

Hope your day is going well ❤️

That sounds very tasty!! And nothing is better than a bubble bath. I'm so happy you got some time to yourself! ^-^

#bear answers

[bear-momma]

Benefits of an agere Journal! 💛

It's therapist approved! It's good to learn the triggers of your involuntary regression, and keeping a journal can help keep track of when it happens, how it happened, and any external factors that incited it. It's also good to keep track of voluntary regression, as the reasons you regressed/needed to utilize a coping mechanism are just as important!

Writing helps put emotions into words. It's often difficult when regressed to communicate what we need or how we feel. Journaling provides a neutral space where you can write anything you need to, and no one will see it unless you show them. It's a good way to get negative emotions out in a healthy way rather than a harmful one. And it doesn't just have to be words, using scribbles or stickers can be as effective as words when it comes to getting your emotions out.

It can be tedious to keep all your arts and crafts in one place, but it's very easy to put them in a journal! Coloring pages, worksheets, and holiday crafts can easily be glued into a journal for safekeeping. Sticker pages are some of my personal favorites, since I always have stickers and never know where to put them!

Feel free to add reasons why your journal helps you!!

#bear grumbles #agere #safe agere #carereg #cglre #cgre #caregiver #carer #age regression #dontsexualizemyregression

[bear-momma]

I got scared by the 7 military helicopters so I started to cry and my classmates made fun of me now I'm sad

Well that's not very kind :( I'm sorry that happened to you, your classmates should know better. Is there anything you can do to feel better?

#bear answers

[bear-momma]

hellou!! ur posts are very good and enjoyed !! i hope ppl venting to u doesnt bring u down too much, and also i hope all the ppl venting to u get to have a pleasant day soon,,!! ur lovely, remember to take care of urself, thats all !! :] ps- little gift for u! smol tried to drawe ur pfp,,!!

OH MY GOSH!!! This is the sweetest thing ever, I don't have the words to describe how moved I am! You are incredibly thoughtful, I appreciate your words very much. And the art!!!! I am beyond impressed, and so, so grateful 💛 thank you!! I just don't know what else I can say besides thank you! 😭

#bear answers #fave

[bear-momma]

I know you've been really struggling lately, so I wanted to let you know that I'm very, very proud of you. You're doing a great job, sweetie 💛

[bear-momma]

i’m so sorry for even bothering you i just want someone to talk to my cg is doing some very un-caregiver things and i don’t know how i’m supposed to be happy or safe or comfortable with them it sux sm i miss them i miss being little and okay i feel sm things and no one can help me i don’t expect a response but i like ur account it helps me when i’m alone

You will never bother me, hon! If you need someone to message, my pm's are always open.

#bear answers

[bear-momma]

can i get a hug, mama? I feel tired and scared of the future and the news. I wanna hurt myself sometimes because of it and I cannot get myself to take a break..

Absolutely, you get one, big bear hug!! It's okay to feel scared, there are a lot of scary things happening right now, and scared is just as valid an emotion as all the others! I'm proud of you for talking to someone and finding healthier ways to manage those feelings 💛 Your break will come, but in the meantime, I'm sending you lots and lots of strength.

#bear answers

[bear-momma]

Yesterday I took medicine for my allergies but it makes me really sleepy so I fell asleep at like 5pm but while I was asleep one of my little ones felt really sick and threw up and wanted me but I wasn't there, and they felt like they were bothering me and being annoying and stuff, and they said they felt like the worst little one in the world, but in reality I'm the worst mama cuz I wasn't there for them when they really really needed me, like they were actually sick I was just being a wimp with dumb stuff and acting like it was something worthy of taking medicine and ending up sleeping that long for, and I couldn't help them and they felt so bad and they were all alone and I just feel so guilty I'm sorry -🌟

Your health is just as important as anyone else's. During these moments, when they feel like they're a bad person for reaching out, its good to encourage them that it's never a bad thing to ask for help. You're not a bad mama for being sick, it's not something you could control!!

#bear answers #🌟

[bear-momma]

Hello Ms Bear I have a question I would like to ask as I don’t have anyone else to ask this.

I have a friend who I am really close with, she says I am like her little sister and I feel super safe around her. She follows my agere blog and I know she is aware of what age regression is and knows that I regress to cope.

I want to be small around her but I feel bad as she takes care of biological children, her younger siblings. She says she will be there for me for anything.

Is it wrong that I feel guilty? Like I would love to have her look after me small, or even just to talk with her while little, but I feel like I would be a burden to her. I don’t know if I deserve to have a friend while small. It’s hard to open to people but little me gets super lonely. I just don’t know what to do and I’d love to have your advice if you have any <3

🐏👑 anon (<- if that sign off isn’t taken)

You are not "wrong" to feel guilty, all emotions are valid (just not all actions), and you absolutely deserve a friend when small!! It sounds like she already holds you in high regard! Maybe start by asking if you can come to her while you're regressed. Explain that the headspace is lonely, and that she feels like a sister. As long as you aren't taking care away from the children she already watches, there is no shame asking her for help!

#🐏👑 #bear answers

[bear-momma]

Same bad cg from the last ask, a part of me feels like it might just be from me feeling out of it due to my seasonal allergies being bad right now, but that doesn't excuse it, even if I feel bad I need to be here for my little ones

(Also, I've sent a decent amount of thingies on here at this point (if there's been someone whining in big paragraphs in your inbox it's probably me >m<) so if it's not taken could I use 🌟 as a signoff please? Thank you I'm so sorry)

Shush, you're not a bad cg!!

#bear answers #🌟

[bear-momma]

I'm a flip, but lately I've basically been nothing but a cg (not my little ones' faults of course, I just haven't been able to regress), but some of my little ones are regressed almost 24/7? (Differemt alters in one system, one is basically always small the others it's a few times daily). I love them, I really really do, but why do I sometimes feel tired of being in cg mode? I love being there for my little ones, I really do, but why do I feel so tired then? This makes me happy I shouldn't want a break, plus I don't think I could take one, if I'm not here I think they'd be alone, plus what if they think I don't wanna anymore or don't love them? I shouldn't be tired, why am I tired, why do I sometimes feel jealous that, since they can regress way more than I'm able to, they get care and I don't, even the care I'm feeling this way towards comes from me? This isn't something you can get burnt out from, real parents can't take a break from being parents so I can't either but God why do I feel drained, I'm sorry for venting like this please feel free to ignore this

First, I want to thank you for being so diligent in taking care of others. It's not an easy job and I'm proud of you for being there for them 💛

Next, I want to assure you that real parents absolutely take breaks!! In a "traditional" household, the presence of two or more caregivers allows everyone breaks from giving constant attention. And when multiple caregivers need a break, they call grandma or a baby sitter 😂 You're not wrong for wanting or needing a break, it's a very normal part of being a caregiver! You're also not a bad person for feeling jealous. Just because an emotion is big doesn't mean it's wrong; in fact I'd say it's healthy of you to identify the emotion instead of trying to ignore it!

You sound like a wonderful caregiver. But you're still human. There are ways to bring up needing a break, and while I understand the fear of them being disappointed, how can they expect you to take proper care of them if you're constantly burned out? If breaking it to the little ones is too much, you could also try talking to a different alter who can better communicate with them.

And finally, you never need to apologize for venting to me. This is a safe place to do so. Your thoughts and your worries are welcome here 💛

#🌟 #bear answers

[bear-momma]

All this rain has really helped the flowers bloom, hasn't it? Let's go outside and pick some! They may be ordinary wildflowers, but they're still beautiful.

Here's a ladybug, look at their spots! Can you count how many they have on their wings?

And look at this earthworm, isn't he cool? I wonder why he's up here instead of digging under the soil!

There's a butterfly. Can you tell me what color it's wings are? Here, we can get a better look while it's drinking from it's flower, just move very carefully so we don't scare him away.

Closer to the ground, you can see some ants! They're working really hard to stay in line. How do you think ants tell each other apart?

I'll grab a few more flowers, and then we can head inside, alright? But I may need some help arranging them in our vase while I make lunch 💛

#bear grumbles #agere #safe agere #carereg #cglre #cgre #caregiver #age regression #carer #bug #bug tw

[bear-momma]

I need some advice from one non-cis momma to another! I reconnected with somebody who I surprisingly found out is an age regressor (2-4 years old). We're trying to meet up in person soon, but I have no in-person experience. I'm naturally maternal but I feel as though I may be at a loss when I'm doing it offline. I want her to have a really good first time regressing with a caregiver, do you have any tips?

Communication!! If she was comfortable sharing that she's a regressor, there's a good chance she knows what her needs are when regressed and will be able to communicate that to you, so dont be afraid to ask her!

Some general stuff (every regressor is different but this is just good stuff to practice for any caregiver): Check with her before physical touch when she's regressed; don't take over her care, let her participate (which cup do you want? Okay, and do you want this drink or this drink in the cup?); don't restrict her control.

And good luck, I'm so excited for you :D

#bear answers

[bear-momma]

hello mx. bear!! do you happen to have any advice for voluntary regression? i’m new to the whole agere thing, and i think it’s a really nice thing and i’d kinda like to try it, i’ve just been looking around for where to start. it’s alright if you don’t though!! i hope you have a wonderful day!! take care :]

For someone just starting out, the good news is you don't need anything fancy! A nostalgic cartoon or a coloring book from the dollar store is enough for a lot of people, or playing with toys, or building a fort. Just stuff you did as a child, or stuff you always WANTED to do as a child, is enough. Voluntary regression is about finding comfort in childhood! And that can look different for a lot of people, so its important to ask yourself what you miss from being a kid and how you can relive it. (Personally, I've gathered a LOT of coloring books and stuffed animals, because those were my favorite things as a kid 😂)

#bear answers

[bear-momma]

Hi Mx. Bear :]

There wasn’t a lot of eclipse where I am but I got to go outside and it felt nice, and got to make one of those box viewers to see it! It was a little fun. A bunch of friends with better coverage sent a lot of pictures

Oh neat! I've seen a few of those projects around, I bet it was fun to make!

#bear answers

[bear-momma]

Who saw the eclipse today? :O My work place dropped everything to run outside! We had total coverage where I was. It was incredible

#bear grumbles #agere #safe agere #delete later

[bear-momma]

um.. I’ve been wanting to follow you for a long time but I finally have now and um.. I have a question for u mama.. do you know of any alternative names for caregivers that aren’t parental

ex: appa, baba, papa, mama, babby, dada

because my cg finds it uncomfortable if I were to call him this because he’s not my dad and I’ve been searching but I haven’t found anything to help and I really need help :( please help me mama :(

This is a tricky one! The names we use for parents are usually very gendered, maybe we could come up with a nickname that's neutral.

If his name is long enough, you could shorten it. Thomas becomes Tom, or Nicholas becomes Nick, for example. Or, just using his name in general could work!

Sometimes I see people calling their caregivers by an animal name. For example, a lot of people refer to me as Bear if they don't feel comfy calling me a gendered term. Maybe you could pick an animal name for him?

If parental terms make him uncomfortable, what about sibling terms? I've seen a few people call their cg's Bubba or Baba, for example.

It's a bit difficult to find gender neutral terms for a caregiver, since it's historically been a gendered role, but I hope these have helped!! Others are more than welcome to share their ideas in the replies as well!

#bear answers #im sorry i didnt have a better answer for you :( ill have to do some research!!