bandagesandloveletters

[bandagesandloveletters]

Taking Comfort (In Your Arms) - Chapter 5

June 27 - 0600 hours

Colonel Harding had been on base for less than 24 hours when he requested Addie to come into the office earlier than normal. He had asked her to pull personnel files on all the higher ups on the base and present the information for him to read. 

So, by 0600, she was yawning at her desk, a steaming cup of hot coffee awaiting her to take the first sip. Harding had just come into the office moments ago, and after handing him the requested files, he was sequestered in his office; she was hoping for a quiet morning. Though with the appearance of Buck, she sighed knowing that was now a longshot. 

“Morning Major.” She raised an eyebrow in his direction, pausing her typing to take him in, fresh faced so early in the morning. 

“Morning Captain. Is Colonel Harding available for a few minutes?” Buck removed his cap, nodding at her in greeting. 

Addie pushed back from her desk, giving him a suspicious look. “Wait here and I’ll inquire.” 

Knocking on the Colonel’s door, she heard a gruff “enter” before she slowly pushed open the door. “Colonel, Major Gale Cleven is inquiring if you have a few minutes for him.” 

Dropping the file he was scanning, he gave her a look. “Buck Cleven is waiting?” 

“Yes, sir. Do you have a few minutes for him?” She pressed again, not having the patience to repeat what she had just said. 

Harding huffed, nodding. “Send him in.” 

She walked back out to her desk and nodded at Buck. “Go on in.” 

“Thanks Captain.” He gave her a bright smile, making his way to Harding’s office. 

Sitting back down at her desk, she picked up the coffee mug and took a deep sip. She just hoped Buck knew what he was doing. She and Buck both agreed that Bucky made a better squadron commander rather than an Air Exec. It was a long shot that Harding would agree as well. 

Less than twenty minutes later, Buck was back in front of her desk, looking quite pleased with himself. “Successful meeting?” 

“It remains to be seen but we’ll know in a few hours I’d imagine.” Buck atoned, looking at her. “I’m sure you’ll see him before I see him. Him and Biddick were out late so give him hell.” 

Saluting him, she vowed to do that when she eventually saw him. “Aye, Major will do. I’ll see you later Buck.” 

“Have a good day, Captain.” 

Watching him leave, she took another sip of coffee, sighing loudly knowing a long day was ahead for her. Grabbing the next stack of paper, she got to work, hoping the day would pass quickly. 

0800 hours

A bouquet of wildflowers was the first thing she saw in the seconds after the door had slammed shut. Accepting and smelling them, she looked up seeing the grinning Major standing in front of her. “Good morning, Captain.” 

“Good morning, Major.” She looked him over from head to toe, noticing him looking worse for wear. “Are you feeling okay? Heard through the grapevine that you were out late last night.”

Raising an eyebrow in her direction, Bucky leaned across her desk, giving her a quick kiss. “Keeping tabs on me, Captain?”

“Someone has to, and it might as well be me.” She smirked, putting the bouquet of wildflowers into a makeshift vase on the corner of her desk. She made a mental note to add water to it after he left. 

Looking behind her, he spied liquid gold waiting there for him.  “Can I steal a cup of coffee?” 

Pushing back from her desk, she poured the strong coffee into a mug, passing it over to him. “Take a few sips before you walk into that office, John. You’re going to need it.”

“Any advice you can give me?” He asked, taking a sip, hissing when the stinging hot liquid hit the roof of his mouth. 

“He’s better than Huglin.” She was met with a gruff chuckle at her words. 

Raising his mug in a toast of thanks, he headed into Harding’s office. With a long exhale, she took her seat, willing herself to not dwell on what was happening behind the closed door. 

Fifteen minutes later as she finished up a report, the door opened and Bucky stepped out, with an amused smirk on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me Buck was here earlier this morning?” 

“I wasn’t going to spoil that for you.” She shook her head not wanting to get between the two of them. “How did you find out he was here?” 

Bucky chuckled dryly. “There was a letter on Harding’s desk with Buck’s signature on it. I am very proficient at reading upside down. Was he the one that told you I was out late? And you’re looking at the new CO of the 418th squadron.”

“Congratulations, Bucky. And noted on being able to read upside down.” Giving him a look, she paused “My lips are sealed, Bucky. Don’t make me squeal.” Nodding, leaning down, he gave her a kiss as a promise to drop the questioning. 

“I’ve got to go tell the boys the good news. Lunch later?”

She nodded. “If I can get away - not sure what the day entails. But I’ll get a note to you if I can’t.” 

He saluted her. A giggle escaped her, watching him walk away, whistling “Blue Skies” as he went. Taking another sip of coffee, she knew there would be multiple cups of coffee in her future. 

July 6 - 0900 hours

Nursing a cup of coffee, Addie tried to ward off the first faint hints of a headache. She had gone out the night before with the girls for pre-birthday drinks. Helen, Tatty, Madison, Delia, and Annie made her feel special as they treated her to dinner and drinks. She had enjoyed a few Moscow mules, along with several dances with the girls.  The post-Fourth of July excitement was palpable around the base, which led right into her birthday. 

Delia, one of the Red Cross Girls, was from North Carolina and had the sweetest Southern accent. Addie had to pay close attention whenever Delia talked just to make sure she caught everything the girl had said. She came from a big family and often had entertaining stories about her family’s antics. When times had gotten tough, she was there with a story to break the tension, causing the girls to roar with laughter.

Madison was a wireless girl, one of the girls who gave landing instructions to the boys when they went up and came back from missions. She was relatively new to the base and due to Addie’s office being in the tower, the two had become good friends. Madison was from New York and had a thick Brooklyn accent. She was the oldest of three children and her brother was on his way over as a pilot, being stationed at Thorpes Abbott in a few weeks. 

Annie, a nurse, was from St. Louis, Missouri and was an only child. She had a hard adjustment moving into the barracks and everyone being in everyone else’s business. It had taken several weeks for her to feel comfortable with the random questions from the girls in their hut. 

She thankfully had the day off. Harding heard through the grapevine that it was her birthday and promptly gave her the day off. She was a little nervous to see what the base had up their sleeve but currently she was blissfully alone. Though by the stray noise outside that was soon changing. 

The doors being thrown open caught her attention as she looked up to see several men walking hurriedly towards her. Bucky was in the lead with something in his hands and a bright grin on his face. Looking over to the left, she saw the other girls trying to hide their smiles at the sight. 

Bucky, Buck, DeMarco, Bubbles, Crosby, and Biddick all crowded around her table, grins and excitement on all of their faces. Stepping forward, Bucky placed the makeshift cake onto the table. It had white frosting on it with two single candles stuck in it. “Happy birthday, Bluebird.” 

Looking up at the six of them with a mixture of awe and happiness, she grinned. “Did you all make that for me?” 

“Bucky woke us up at 0630 wanting to make you a cake . . .” Buck trailed off, giving his best friend a look. 

Raising an eyebrow, Addie motioned for him to continue. Buck exhaled loudly, a smirk on his lips. “But he didn’t know how to make a cake and we wanted to make sure he didn’t kill you with a disastrous cake.” 

“Thanks for that Buck.” Bucky shook his head, mumbling about not being able to keep a secret. “You should have a birthday cake on your birthday and this is yours. Don’t know how it turned out but the batter was good.” 

Picking up her fork, she tore a piece off, sticking it in her mouth. Groaning, her eyes went wide, looking at the men in front of her. “I may have had my doubts but well-done boys. That’s delicious.” 

The six of them whooped and cheered at her declaration. Motioning for them to sit, she eyed them as they piled around the table. Bucky sitting beside her with Buck on her other side. “So Bucky made you all get out of bed early this morning?”

“Well, it started with just Buck and DeMarco, but these other dodos heard us talking and wanted in on the action.” Bucky said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I’m pretty sure they just wanted to get in your good graces.” 

Crosby slapped Bucky’s arm with a huff, causing her to laugh. “I appreciate you remembering my day. Not how I anticipated spending my birthday but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” 

“What are you doing today?” DeMarco asked, stealing a piece of cake, successfully avoiding a slap to his hand. 

Grabbing another piece of cake, she popped it in her mouth, chewing before taking a sip of coffee. “I’ve got the day off. Going to do some flying in a bit.”

All six of their eyes went wide at her statement. All six of them had various questions as she laughed at the befuddlement.  Holding up a hand, she waited for them to quiet. “There’s a farm about 10 miles from here that has a Tiger Moth that I fly on occasion.  Yes, I’ll fly by the base and no, none of you can come with me, except Bucky because I promised him to take him up.”

The boys chuckled at that. Not wanting to linger, they made their moves to leave, wishing Addie Happy Birthday once more before they took their leave. Buck lingered, giving her a look. “What time will you be buzzing the tower?” 

“Why do you ask?” Her hackles raised at his question, knowing he most likely had something up his sleeve.  

Buck merely grinned, not giving anything away. “Just curious. Don’t want to miss you doing so.”

“Uh huh, sure Buck. I’m planning on leaving here around 1100 hours so probably 1130 or so.” She gave him a look, not liking the grin on his face one bit. 

Saluting her, Buck took his leave, leaving Bucky and her alone at the table. Raising an eyebrow at Bucky, he grinned back at her. “Happy birthday, darling.” 

“Thank you.” She laced her hand with his, giving it a squeeze. “Honestly, I didn't anticipate anything from anyone.” 

Bucky laughed loudly. “Bluebird, if you didn’t think people were planning something to celebrate you, you’re sorely mistaken. You are well loved around here, I hope you know that.”

Ducking her head, she willed the blush to go away on her cheeks. Reaching over with his other hand, his finger on her chin as he pushed it up. “I’m picking up on that, John.”

“No one loves you more than I do, Bluebird.” She smiled at his words, leaning over and kissing him. “I love you, Adelaide Baker.” 

Her eyes went wide at his words. It was the first time he had uttered those words. She almost slipped a week ago but managed to cover her almost slip up smoothly. She managed to school her face, a grin sliding across her face. Leaning forward, she captured his lips in a kiss, running her thumb against his jaw. “I love you too, John Egan. Now, do you think you can get away and go flying with me?”

“I have nothing on the schedule as a squadron commander today.” He smirked. “Apparently you’re a big deal around here as there’s no missions planned, so everyone has the day off.” 

“And here I was thinking I was something special.” She gave him a look that he scoffed at. “You are special, Addie and this whole damn base knows that.” 

Nodding, she grinned. “I’ve got some things to do but meet you in the jeep at 1100?” 

“I’ll see you soon.” Offering her hand, he helped her from the table, pulling her into his arms. Giving her a proper birthday kiss, he pulled back smiling. “Happy birthday, again.” 

“Thank you, handsome. See you soon.” 

He watched her leave, shaking his head at the fact that she was his. 

1120 hours

Pulling into the drive of the old farmhouse, Addie waved at the caretaker with a grin. “So this is your Tiger Moth?” 

“Old man Rivers came wandering down to the airfield my first day and started up a conversation with me. We got to talking and he offered up the Tiger Moth whenever I wanted it. His son used to fly it but he’s over in France and he said he’s happy someone loves flying it just as much as he used to.” Addie grinned, pulling the jeep behind the barn. Throwing it into park, she hopped out of it, walking to the barn, throwing open the doors. 

Bucky followed her, whistling seeing the yellow Tiger Moth sitting there. “She’s a beauty, Addie.” 

“I’ve nicknamed her Daffodil and she’s a breeze to fly.” Addie walked around the plane, making sure there was no damage, not that anyone had flown her since she did three weeks ago.  “Go ahead and jump up in the co-pilots spot.” 

“Co-pilot?” John questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

Addie scoffed. “You didn’t think I was going to let you fly a plane that you’ve never flown before, Egan? And they call you the smart one. You’re not flying this, especially on my birthday. Now get in and we’ll get going.” 

Watching him jump into the co-pilot’s seat, she finished her inspection before climbing up to her seat. She threw the headset on, checking her controls before starting the engine. Taxiing on the dirt runway, they were soon air bound and flying in the clear day. 

“This is incredible, Addie.” Bucky’s voice came over the radio, causing her to grin widely. 

“Been a while since you’ve been in an open aircraft, huh? There’s nothing like the rush of the wind in your hair.” She eased the Tiger Moth into a barrel roll causing a shriek from John, which made her laugh. “Gotta keep you on your toes, Bucky.” 

Before long, she saw the first sign they were nearing East Anglia. “Coming up on Thorpes Abbott.” 

Looking out, she knew Buck had something up his sleeve when he asked about the time she’d fly over the base. It seemed the entire base had shown up to see her fly. “Looks like your friend can’t keep a secret.” 

“Not sure why I have to claim him today - he’s your friend too.” Bucky chuckled. 

“It’s my birthday so he’s all yours today, Bucky.” Laughing, she squared the plane up. “Ready to buzz the tower?” 

And she did just that with the whoops and cheers of the audience below. Calling the tower, she requested landing instructions. Madison’s voice came over the radio, giving her instructions and soon they were landing. The crowd of people that met them on the hard stand cheered as she cut the engine before jumping out of the plane.

“Well that is a way to make an appearance.” DeMarco clapped, walking closer to Addie, impressed. “They said you were a fly girl . . .”

“But you had to see it to believe it, huh DeMarco?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow in a challenge. 

DeMarco attempted to look abashed by her words but the grin on her face showed him she wasn’t upset. “You never know what tales your boyfriend will spin about you Baker.” 

“Well, this time he wasn’t lying, DeMarco.”

Buck wandered over, looking impressed. “Well done, Addie.” 

“See you couldn’t keep it to yourself that I was planning on buzzing the tower, huh Buck? Couldn’t let me have a little birthday fun?” She teased. 

He knocked shoulders with her before throwing his arm around her shoulders giving her a half hug. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble with the brass, including your own father and Harding. Had to give them a heads up on what you were planning on doing. Come to find out, this is your birthday tradition?” 

“You found out my secret.” She gasped, giving him a look, shaking her head. “Why couldn’t you let me have this one thing, Gale?” 

Biddick, Bucky, Crosby and Bubbles had all wandered over at that moment and were looking between her and Buck. Biddick spoke up, jostling Buck.  “Oooo Buck got real named. What did you do?” 

“Apparently I blew her fun.” Buck shook his head. “Just trying to keep her out of trouble by telling the brass that she’s going to buzz the tower. Her father told me that it’s her birthday tradition every year and that he had already cleared it with whomever needed to know.” 

Bucky chuckled. “You buzz the tower for your birthday?” 

“I do, I started it when I turned 13 and I’ve done it every year since. It’s just for fun and gets me out of the same old, same old.” She had a wicked grin on her face. “I managed to elicit a squeal from Bucky earlier today so that might be the new birthday tradition.” 

The boys oooo-ed, DeMarco and Crosby jostled Bucky as she shook her head. “Not like that boys - I barrel rolled the Tiger Moth and he wasn’t expecting it.”

“Let that be a lesson if you fly with Addie boys, she’ll keep you on your toes.” Bucky spoke up, amongst all the jeers. 

Josie came over to the group and hugged Addie. “Happy birthday!” 

“Thanks! Wanna go up with me?” Addie smirked, watching Josie quickly swing her head back and forth. “No! The last time you took me up I was sicker than a dog.” 

Addie chuckled. “You told me you wanted to barrel roll. Little did I know that you didn’t know what that meant, only that you had heard one of the boys tell you. I will be good and fly the plane straight, unlike I will be with any of these boys if we go up.” 

A man walking across the tarmac caught her attention causing her to shield her eyes to see who it was. Her father and Harding walked together, coming closer to the group standing there. “Captain Baker, very nicely done buzzing the tower.”

“Thank you sir.” She smiled weakly, looking from her CO to her father. “Dad, what brings you out here?” 

A bright smile crossed her father’s face, pulling her in for a hug and a kiss to her cheek. “I haven’t wished you a happy birthday yet, so that’s one thing. Also, you got a bit of mail that I wanted to make sure you received.” 

He handed her two letters and she nearly cried seeing the handwriting on both of them. Letters from her brother and sister, whom she hadn’t heard from in a while. “Did you get one from them both too?” 

“No but those envelopes seem a bit thick so I’m hoping they included something in there.” He nodded to what he had just given her. 

“If there’s anything, I’ll bring it to the house later.” She tucked the letters into her pants to read later when she was alone.  “Thank you for bringing them to me.” 

Nodding, her father looked at her. “When are you heading back?” 

“I’ll probably take one of these flyboys up to show them girls can do it better then I’ll be back around 1500 hours or so.” She gave him a curious look. “What’s going on?” 

Her dad chuckled. “We can’t pull anything on you, can we Adelaide?”

“You know I don’t like secrets.” She gave him and the men around her a look. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Bucky and Buck traded glances with the rest of the boys while she rolled her eyes.  She knew she was losing cause when none of them spoke a word. “Fine, you keep your secrets. Who’s going up with me?” 

Biddick, DeMarco, Bubbles and Crosby all took a step back, leaving Bucky and Buck in her direct line of fire. “What do you say, Cleven? Want to go up?”

“Show me what you got, Baker, unless Bucky wants to go back up?” Buck agreed, looking over at Bucky. 

“Nah man all you.” Bucky tugged Addie close, dipping her before giving her a passionate kiss before dropping his voice. “Give him hell, babe.” 

Pushing him away, Addie laughed, looking over at Buck. “Let’s go. We’ll be back with the jeep in an hour or so.” 

Buck gave her a challenging look. “Last one to get to the plane is the co-pilot.” 

“Damn Buck!” She took off running, taunting him as he gained on her.  They all laughed when her hands slapped Daffodil just seconds before Buck did. “Looks like you’re co-pilot Cleven, which is something I’ve heard you’ve never done before.” 

His laughter that met her made her grin brightly as she motioned him to get up in the plane. She scrambled up to the pilot’s seat, starting the plane to the cheers and jeers of the crowd. “Madison, take off instructions please.” 

Madison delivered the requested instructions before wishing her a good flight. “Any requests on what you want to see, Cleven?” 

“I’m just along for the ride, Addie.” His voice came over the radio. “Wouldn’t mind a few of your tricks.” 

She chuckled, knowing she would have to work a bit harder to scare Buck than she did with Bucky. “You asked for it.” 

Turning the plane into a quarter loop, causing the plane to go into a vertical position, decreasing the airspeed. She focused the nose of the plane down, causing the plane to pause. She heard Buck’s voice gasp over the intercom causing her to gleefully laugh. “Dammit Addie, did you just stall it?” 

“Nah, just a stall turn but it got you to pause and gasp, which just made my day.” 

Buck chuckled. “What else have you got up your sleeve Addie?” 

“Are you really asking me that, Buck? Or are you just curious if I’m going to scare you more?” She called back. 

“Yes, I’m really asking you that and I’m not scared.” He called back. “I know you’re not going to kill your boy’s best friend.” 

Scoffing, Addie rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to kill you Buck. Might scare you a little bit along the way but won’t kill you. Let a girl have a little fun on her birthday.” 

1500 hours

“And then I got Buck Cleven to scream like a little girl.” Addie took a sip of her Moscow Mule as the group around her gave Buck hell. 

Buck held up a hand, giving the group a look. “She was going to crash that plane.” 

“Like I was going to crash Daffodil. It’s like you don’t know me at all Buck.” She gasped, holding a hand to her chest astonished he would think such a thing. “Just wanted to scare you, flyboy and show you a thing or two.” 

Buck shook his head drinking his ginger beer. “Never going up with you again, Addie. Once was enough.” 

“Never say never, Buck.” She sang, giving him a knowing look. Addie watched as Bucky headed to the bar for another round but lost track of him as he got talking to someone. 

He waved her off as the band started up again. Her eyes went wide as she recognized the song as “Blue Skies.” Buck leaned in closer to her. “Here’s one of your presents.” 

She looked from him to the makeshift stage where Bucky had taken the mic and started singing “Blue Skies” directly to her. She laughed at his little dance moves as he finished before making his way to her side. “You were right, Buck.” 

“About what?” He asked, tilting his head to the side to figure out what she was talking about. 

She motioned to Bucky then the stage. “It’s an experience that I won't soon forget.” She said, watching Bucky make his way back to the group. “Well done, Bucky. Voice of an angel.” 

Watching Bucky stick his tongue out at Bucky, Addie laughed. “At least someone appreciates my singing ability, unlike someone else.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Buck shook his head at the two, smirking at them. 

2000 hours 

Dinner was an affair. Bucky had led the entire mess hall into a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday, causing her to blush from all the attention. Almost everyone had come up at some point to wish her happy birthday. Which is why she had dodged everyone at the first opportunity and found herself a fort to crawl up into. She had letters to read and didn’t want an audience when she read them. 

Running her finger under her brother’s envelope, she unfolded the three pages and got as comfortable as she could in the pilot’s seat. As she read her brother’s words, tears threatened to fall as he wrote about his day to day. How he wished he was in England with her and missed her home cooked meals. He wrote about the friends he had made but there was a good chunk of his letters that the sensors crossed out. 

I’m thankful that you’re on base with dad. Make sure the old man is looking after himself and you. Heard through the grapevine that you have a new fella - can’t wait to meet him and give him hell. He'll never be good enough for my baby sister, I hope he knows that.  Sending my love to you and dad. 

Laughing through the tears that had fallen, she folded up the letter and put it back in the envelope. Taking a deep breath, she opened the envelope from Elizabeth and took out the many folded pages. There were two parts folded - one for her and one for their dad. 

She put her dad’s back in the envelope before opening her letter. Elizabeth was always the best writer in the family, giving just enough details and left you wanting more. She talked about her day to day as a field nurse and the various wounds she saw from the combat. 

It’s different out here on the front lines. I’m glad you’re in England and away from all this. Stay safe from this war, Addie. Though I miss you, I don’t want you to see this side of war - it’s too much to bear.  I’m hoping to get leave in a few weeks; maybe I’ll come visit you in merry old England. 

Sighing, she let her head fall back onto the headrest. Damn war, taking and taking from those she loved. Her family was separated by the war and though she loved getting letters, they weren’t the same as getting hugs and talking in person. At the very least, she hoped Elizabeth would be able to get leave and come see her. 

“Permission to come aboard?” The voice that she had grown attached to called up from the belly of the plane. 

Clearing her throat, hoping the remnants of the tears from earlier were gone. “Permission granted.”

She shifted in the pilot’s chair to face him as he made his way up to the yolk. “How many forts did you look in before you found me?” 

“If I tell you three, would you believe me?” He grubbed, collapsing into the co-pilot’s seat. 

She hummed, giving him a look. “‘Our Baby’ isn’t out there so it was a bit tricker I’d imagine.” 

“Yeah it took me a bit, especially since you didn’t have a jeep sitting out.” He raised an eyebrow. 

She shrugged, holding up the two envelopes. “I wanted some fresh air, so I came in to read the letters. By the way, Charlie says you’re not good enough for me.” 

“Oh I know that - you’re way too good for me, Bluebird.” Bucky grinned. “I still don’t know how you’re my girl.” 

Leaning over, she cupped his jaw, sliding her thumb back and forth, pulling his face closer before kissing him. Bucky grabbed her sides, pulling her onto his lap as he deepened the kiss. A moan escaped her mouth as his hand raked slowly up and down her thighs. 

Groaning, she brought her hands up and played with the hair at his neck, deepening the kiss they shared. Pulling his lips from hers, he started kissing down her neck, pulling a groan from her lips. Ducking her head, she recaptured his lips, missing them against hers. Warmth spread through her body as his thumb brushed the sides of her jaw. 

Pulling back, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “We've got to slow down.” 

“You see what you do to me darling.” He sighed, leaning up and kissing her softly. Lacing their hands together, he brought them up and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist before resting them on his chest. She could feel the erratic beat of his heart as he struggled to catch his breath. 

Their mixed breathing was the only sound filling the fort. “Good birthday?” 

“The best.” She hummed, running her hand through his hair. 

“Get everything you wanted?” He asked, looking at her with a glint in his eyes. 

She hummed, nodding. “Cake, flying time, an amazing rendition of Happy birthday. What else could a girl want?”   

He shifted slightly before holding up something in her eyesight. Squinting, she gasped at the necklace held in his hand. “You didn’t get a birthday present from me. Been trying to figure out when to give this to you all day.” 

Taking the locket from his hands, she ran her thumb over the smooth surface before looking up at him. “Bucky.” 

“Wanted you to have something that reminded you of me.” He whispered, taking it from her and putting it around her neck. “Looks perfect. There’s a place inside where you can add a photo.” 

Looking up at him, she leaned forward, kissing him softly. “Thank you for this and today as a whole. You made this the best birthday.” 

July 16 - 2100 hours

“Why are you here? You have been up since the crack of dawn.” Josie chided her, as she hid another yawn behind her hand. 

Harding had called an 0630 meeting that morning which meant she had to be up and ready in the office by 0545. The upside to that was Bucky was also invited to that meeting. In the same meeting they might have been playing footsie under the table the entire time, causing her attention span to waver between note taking and his wandering foot. The entire morning was one meeting after another before he dismissed her at 1500, just in time for Josie to call a girls’ night. 

Josie wanted a night out and invited a few of the girls to the local pub. Addie had eagerly agreed, having not had a night out in a few weeks. She quickly threw on a navy blue dress and her heels before twisting her hair up in a chignon, just so it was off her neck. “Wanted a night out with all of you but I may be calling it a night soon.” 

“Captain, will you indulge us in a bit of chatter about your Major?” Delia called out, giving her a playful wink.  

Taking a sip of liquid courage, she gave Delia a sly smile. “What do you want to know?” 

“How’s the romance? Taken a ride in his fort yet?” Delia winked as a blush covered her cheeks, ducking down to hide her face. 

She gave Delia a grin. “Jumping into the major items first, huh ladies? I plead the fifth.” As soon as the words left her mouth, the girls around her boo-ed with displeasure. 

“C’mon, Addie, give us something.” Annie grinned wickedly looking at her friend. 

Giving Annie an ‘are you kidding me’ look, Addie shook her head. “And I thought you were the quiet one.” 

“When it comes to juicy details regarding a relationship, I’m all ears.” Annie evilly smirked. “Quit stalling and give us something.” 

Rolling her eyes, she took another sip, turning over in her mind what she could give them that wouldn’t open the door to more questions. “He is romantic - brings me flowers every morning and will go on moonlight walks with me.  My father isn’t his biggest fan currently, but we’re working on that.” 

“Have you . . . you know?” Delia grinned. 

Groaning, Addie took a deep breath. But as she opened her mouth, she heard a cacophony of men get louder. Looking over her shoulder, her eyes went wide when she recognized some of the boys.  Muttering a ‘oh shit’ she saw Buck stand up, pushing Bucky back down into his seat.  

Curt was leading the pack of men out of the pub, and she watched them all with narrow eyes. “I’ll be right back.” 

Following the men out, she pushed through the door, staying in the shadows watching Bucky and Buck talk, the two of them not picking up on her presence yet. She watched Curt bait the RAF as punches were thrown before Curt knocked him out. Hearing Bucky throw jabs at the RAF officers, she chuckled hearing “I’ve got a nickname for you and it ain’t Buck”. Her boys would be okay. 

Rolling her eyes, she slipped back into the pub, making her way back to where the girls sat. Josie raised an eyebrow as she took a seat. “Boys being dumb and baiting the RAF idiots.” 

“Our boys victorious?” Annie asked, watching Addie finish her drink before putting the glass back on the table. 

“Yeah, Curt knocked him out and the boys are celebrating loudly. I’m surprised you didn’t hear them.” She grinned, shaking her head, picking up her purse, making her way to leave. “I’m going to head back.” 

Slamming a hand on the table, Delia gave Addie a sharp look. “You didn’t answer the question.” 

“I don’t kiss and tell, Delia.” Addie grinned, leaning closer to the rest of the girls. “But he’s very talented with his hands.” 

The cacophony of giggles and gasps was what Addie got as she winked, wishing the girls good night before heading out into the night.  Taking a few steps, her smirk got wider when she noticed Bucky up just ahead, standing alone in the moonlight. “Hey handsome.” 

“Captain!” His eyes lit up when he laid eyes on her. “Where did you come from?” 

Pointing over her shoulder, she smirked. “The pub with the girls. They’re staying back for a bit longer.”

“How long have you been there?” He asked cautiously, scratching the back of his neck. 

Leaning into him, she threw an arm around his back. “Oh, Bucky I saw the fight and you all baited the RAF officers. Why do you all let them get under your skin?” 

“Bluebird, they were talking shit just like always. We had to . . .” Bucky gave her a look. “Besides none of us got hurt, Curt just threw one hell of a punch and he was out like a light.” 

She giggled. “Well at least Curt can throw a punch.” 

Music filled the space as someone came stumbling out of the doors. Holding out a hand, Bucky bowed, giving her a grin. “May I have this dance?” 

“You know, there’s music in there along with a dance floor.” She pointed over her shoulder, slowly slipping her hand into his. 

Pulling her gently closer to him, his arm slid around her waist as he started to slow dance with her in the middle of the road. “Don’t want to share you. Also, I’m doing a fair injustice to you. I forgot to mention that you look absolutely gorgeous tonight.” 

“This old thing?” She teased, laying her head on his chest. “Thank you, I felt like dressing up tonight with the girls.” 

Twirling her around, he hummed music as they slowly danced, lost in their own world. “You’re a pretty good dancer, Bluebird.” 

“Mom made sure of that. Charlie would dance with both me and Elizabeth while mom and dad danced together.” She looked up at him, biting her lip as she remembered good times.

Bucky smiled, coming to a stop, running his hand down her cheek, thumb brushing against her jaw. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her lips. 

She reached her hand up, ruffling the stubble on his check as he leaned down to steal another kiss from her. Bucky wrapped both arms around her waist, trying to pull her closer to him. 

Seconds slipped into minutes as she got lost in his kiss. Her arms slipped around his shoulders, tangling with the short hairs there as he deepened the kiss. Just as he was about to sweep her off her feet, catcalls and whistles pulled them away from their moment. Looking over her shoulder, a blush formed on her cheeks seeing three men standing there. “Get it Bucky!” “Damn you two.” “I don’t need to see this.” Came the various exclamations from the men. 

Buck, DeMarco and Curt all stood there watching the two of them with various levels of excitement. “There are a million other places for you two to make out like teenagers.” 

“You’re just jealous and missing Marge, Buck.” Bucky shot back with a wink. 

He huffed, giving Bucky a one finger salute before shaking his head. Addie looked between the two of them before narrowing her eyes on Curt. “Congratulations on a valid battle tonight, Biddick.” 

“How do you know about that, Addie?” He asked, as worry crept into his voice. 

She grinned. “Might have been at the pub with the girls and saw you dodos wandering out picking with the RAF. Well done I must say.” 

“High praises from the Captain.” Curt preened at her words. 

A yawn escaped her mouth. Shaking her head, she frowned at the boys. “And with that, I’m calling it a night.” Turning to Bucky, she gave him a look. “Want to walk me home?” 

Wishing the boys good night, Bucky laced his fingers with hers as they walked through the night. Gentle squeezes along the way made her heart flutter.  Soon enough they were at her barrack. Bucky pulled her in for a hug, giving her a proper goodnight kiss. “I love you and I’ll see you in the morning, gorgeous.” 

“Love you too handsome.” She unwove her arms from around his shoulders, turning to the door. With a look behind her shoulder, she smirked seeing him grin. With a tilt of his hat, he left her at her barracks, with a gentle kiss and a wish for sweet dreams. 

Thank you for reading. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

Chapter 6

[bandagesandloveletters]

Taking Comfort (In Your Arms) - Chapter 4

June 24, 2025 1400 hours

Something big was going to happen, the energy on base indicated that but what it was, no one knew. Rumors were abundant but it was just rumors. Addie felt it as she worked away from the tower, squadron leaders being herded into one of the two Colonel’s offices one after another that afternoon. She heaved a sigh of relief when neither Bucky nor Buck made an appearance.

Finally, her father came out of his office, pausing at Addie’s desk. “Are you free for a bit? I need you to take these notes to a couple of the men - Turner, Veal, Bucky, and Buck. Are you able to track them down and get them these notes?”

“I’m sure these missives can wait a bit longer to be sent.” She smirked, showing him a pile of papers. Taking them off her hands, he rapidly flipped through them, shaking his head, giving her a vexed look. “Addie, these were supposed to be sent earlier this morning.”

She gave her father an irritated look, rolling her eyes. “I had three piles of papers awaiting for me this morning - these, the emergency notices to the squadron leaders and the supply orders for the infirmary. Of those, these seemed to be the least urgent. I apologize that these notices didn’t get sent earlier.”

“Josie, can you get these sent out for Addie?” Her father turned and looked at her best friend who was smirking, before passing the missives to her. “Sure Colonel.”

Turning back to his daughter, he handed her the folded notes and a set of jeep keys. “Deliver these quickly, please.”

Saluting her father, she accepted the four folded notes. Addie slipped on her aviators as she made her way out of the tower, skipping down the stairs, jumping into the nearest jeep. Driving down the path, wind whipping her hair, she tried to figure out where she’d find all four of the Majors. The mess would be empty by now due to the hour so she headed to the barracks. Pulling the jeep up to Bucky’s barrack, she killed the engine, trying to figure out how she’d let him know she was there.

Getting out of the jeep, she leaned against it, enjoying the sunshine and light breeze knowing someone would eventually come by and she could ask them. Twenty minutes later she spotted Meatball coming over to her, jumping and whining for attention. Crouching down, she petted him, giving him a few pats, glad she had worn pants today. “Captain, it’s good to see you out of the office on a day like this.”

Looking up and over her aviators, she grinned seeing DeMarco come closer to her. “Captain DeMarco, they finally let me out of the chicken coop.”

“Not that I don’t love seeing you out in the wild, what are you doing here?” He asked, chuckling as Meatball came and sat at his feet.

Standing to her full height, Addie smiled. “Looking for Turner, Veal, Bucky, or Buck and since I’m not allowed in the barracks, I was hoping one of you boys would point me in the right direction.”

“Veal and Turner are in the classroom with the navigators. Buck and Bucky should be inside - give me a moment.” He said, speedily ducking into the barrack. It wasn’t a moment later she heard. “Yo lover boy your girl’s waiting outside for you.”

She was still chuckling when Bucky made his way outside, quickly pulling her up into his arms with a laugh. He gave her a quick hug and a kiss to the side of her head, putting her feet back on the ground. “Well, this is a welcome surprise.”

“I’ve come to deliver missives to you and Buck and I can’t dillydally.” She gave him a look, letting him know who’s directive that was, standing on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Can you get Buck for me?”

“That’s not what a guy wants to hear after he gets a kiss from his gal.” Bucky teased but obediently went and got his best friend.

She watched him leave, shamelessly loving the way his rear looked in his pants, not that he would ever know. She casually leaned against the jeep, crossing one ankle over the other, attempting to settle her racing heart. Bucky returned with Buck on his heels. “Bucky mentioned you have something for us.”

She handed them the folded notes with their names on it. She held her breath as she watched them read the note, glance at one another before looking at her. Buck held up the note between two fingers, arching an eyebrow in curiosity. “Know anything about this?”

Shaking her head, sighing she looked between the two of them. “Tower has been a fury of activity since this morning but just like you, I’m kept in the dark and know nothing but I have a feeling something big is happening.”

“We’ve been called to a meeting at 1600.” Bucky said, folding the note back up.

“That makes sense - I have two more notes to deliver.” She saluted them, getting back into the jeep. “I’ll see you boys later.”

Buck laughed while Bucky pulled her in for a quick kiss before watching her drive away. Addie tracked down Tucker and Veal, in the classroom Nissian hut, just as DeMarco said they would be.

Before long, she was back up in the tower, head down working away. Just before 1600, her father and Huglin left, leaving Josie to raise an eyebrow in Addie’s direction. “I have no idea - the boys told me there’s a meeting at 1600 hours but what it’s concerning I have no idea. I’m guessing there’s a mission coming in the next couple of days.”

“I’m sure we’ll know soon enough.” Josie sighed, eyes widened with a mixture of fear and worry as Addie eyed her wearily. “What’s going on with you Josie? Something on your mind?”

Josie’s eyes widened in a way that clued Addie that something else was going on. “Spill, Josephine.”

“DeMarco asked me out.” She bit her lip, while watching her best friend.

Addie’s jaw dropped a bit. Sure she had been wrapped up with Bucky the last few days but how had she not seen DeMarco make a move on her best friend. “How do you feel about that?”

“I mean the man is gorgeous and Meatball is the best.” Josie gushed, a light blush on her cheeks.

Addie walked over and leaned against her desk. “There’s a but in there, Josie. What’s got you all in a tizzy?”

“What if …” Trailing off, her eyes slowly met Addie’s.

Addie shook her head, stopping that line of thought immediately. “You were the one that always told me don’t think about the what if’s. So that’s exactly what I’m telling you. Don’t think about it and just follow your heart. DeMarco is a good catch - I think you should tell him yes. You don’t have to go out a second time if you don’t want to but I do think you should go out on the first one.”

Addie tapped Josie’s desk, leaving her friend with her thoughts as she went back to her desk. Not wanting her mind to wander, she dove into missives that had been left that needed action taken on them, hoping the rest of the afternoon would pass quickly.

2000 hours

A note was waiting on her bunk after dinner requesting her to meet on the tarmac. Slipping on her sweater she made her way out of the barracks. She saw him standing near a fort, looking up at it lost in thought.

Siding up to him, she just stood there, not wanting to scare him. He let out a gush of air, not turning to her as he said, “The boys’ first mission is tomorrow - Bremen.”

“Shit.” Was all that she could say. She knew it was coming - it was only a matter of time before they’d be sent up. Addie for the first time in a long time was at a loss of what to say. She knew she couldn’t say a damn thing that would help Bucky prepare for tomorrow. All she could do was be there for him.

Slipping her hand in his, she gave it a squeeze, while wrapping an arm around his back. He looked down at her, wiping his face with his other hand, sighing loudly, worry clearly written all over his face. “What do I tell him?”

“You give him a reason to make it home. Don’t tell him about what it’s like, that’ll just scare him but you give him a damn good reason to make it home alive.” She looked up at him, squeezing his hand. “We knew this day would be coming. Doesn’t make it any easier.”

Sighing, he tilted his head back, hoping to find the right answer written on the underbelly of the fort. “You’re right.”

“I haven’t been in combat, only you have. You’ve seen it with your two eyes. Somehow you’ll find the words tomorrow before he goes up.” Addie whispered. “What are you planning on doing while you wait for them to return?”

Shrugging, Bucky looked out across the tarmac with narrowed eyes. “Not sure, haven’t thought that far ahead. What usually happens when we’re up?”

“Everyone attempts to get something done - paperwork, usually but most everyone is preoccupied by worrying about who won’t return.” She confided in him, squeezing his hand to keep him present with her instead of letting his mind wander. “Come see me tomorrow and I’ll give you some of my old ATA files to read - won’t completely take your mind off of what’s going on but it’ll give you something to do.”

Bucky pulled his attention away from the tarmac, looking at the gorgeous girl that stood beside him. “Your old ATA files?”

“Shhh . . . I took some with me when I left. No one is going to miss them but figured someday I’d look back on that time with nothing but fondness, and not anger.” She smirked. “Buck told me you were proud of me - thought you might want to know what your girl did before she got kicked out of the service.”

Bucky nodded. “I’ll be by your desk once everything settles down tomorrow morning.”

All she could do was nod, picking up that he clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk. “Want me to leave you alone?”

“That is the absolute last thing I want you to do.” He looked apologetic at her. “Sorry I’m not in the mood to talk.”

Tugging on his hand, she got him moving. “No apology needed. Let’s just walk - you’ve got a lot on your mind and need to sort through it.”

As they passed by “Wild Cargo”, she smiled. “I buzzed the tower in a B-17 called “Sweater Jean”. She was the B-17 I flew from London to Ridgewell, which is in Essex, the base I was stationed at. Before I left, I had finally passed my last evaluation, which gave me the certificate to fly the big girls. As tradition, whenever you first fly a new class of planes, you have to buzz the tower and I did it at my home base. The brass didn’t even yell at me since I was the first of the ATAs stationed there to fly the Class 5’s.”

“The first?” Bucky asked, eyes widened slightly, impressed by the girl that still managed to take his breath away. How did he get so lucky to call Captain Adelaide Baker his? He still didn’t understand and often had a hard time believing it.

“I was the first but that didn’t last long. My friends Anna and Lydia soon joined me in the Class 5’s.” She smirked. “The days of flying the Class 5’s were long - usually there wasn’t a direct transport back to base so those were the days that I mixed planes with trains or cars.”

Bucky squeezed her hand. “Were you often gone longer than a day?”

“Not usually but there was one ferry that I didn’t get back to base until 4 days after I left.” She smiled, thinking back on that long day, wistfully. “That one I was all over England - started in Norfolk, went to Lincolnshire, then London and ended up in West Sussex. Had to take two trains back to Essex. I was back for 12 hours before I ferried a Spitfire back to London and the circus started all over again.”

“You didn’t fly across the channel did you?” Bucky questioned, voice clearing a bit as her story distracted him.

“No. It was very regulated on where I could or couldn’t go. I flew all over England but never into combat territory.” She bit her lip. “It used to frustrate me that they kept us so contained but I’d give anything to be back up flying.”

“My next leave, I’ll take you flying.” He promised, giving her a hopeful look. “Or you can take me for a ride in your Tiger Moth.”

Squeezing his hand, she grinned. “Deal but how about you take me dancing first, hotshot? We’re going to make it through this Bucky.”

“Yes to the dancing; let’s make it through tomorrow first. You’re right. I should head back to the barracks, early night and all.” His voice was quiet, her eyes finding his. “Are you ready to head back?”

Shaking her head, she met his eyes. “I’ll head back up with you.”

Silence followed them as they made their way back up to the huts. Pulling Bucky into her arms, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on his lips, her hand on his cheek forcing him to meet her eyes. “I know you’re going to be worried tonight but try to get some sleep. Come see me after everything tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there. Thank you, Addie.” He said sincerely, stealing another kiss before he slipped into the barracks.

Sighing, she ran her hands through her hair. She was dreading tomorrow and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do but be there for Bucky. Not a word of comfort would help the situation. She just wished she could be as strong as he had been every day since she met him.

As she turned to head back to her hut, she heard her name being called. Looking over her shoulder, she smiled seeing DeMarco, Buck and Meatball making their way towards her. “Gents, Meatball.”

“Where’s your sidekick?” DeMarco joked while she squatted down and petted the dog, lapping up the attention.

Motioning to the hut, she smiled. “Inside, I just dropped him off.”

“I wanted to check with you to see if you’re able to keep an eye on Meatball tomorrow?” DeMarco questioned, giving her a pleading look.

Laughing at his face, Addie instantly agreed. “Of course - I was going to offer but you beat me to the punch. He can hang out in the office with me and Josie.”

The blush instantly crossed his cheeks at the mention of her best friend. Keeping that in her back pocket, she would have to get an update from Josie on how that went. “Thank you Addie. I appreciate it.”

“I’ll grab him after breakfast from you.” She promised, as he wished her and Buck good night before heading inside.

Buck eyed her as the door shut before turning his attention to Addie, voice quiet to keep the secret between them. “Know anything about the blush that crept up his face when you mentioned Josie?”

“Potentially, remains to be seen.” She smirked. “Josie is my best friend and it seems your captain is sweet on her. More to come.”

Buck nodded, watching the sun start its descent. “How’s Bucky?”

“You picked up on his quietness?” Addie turned, looking at him with curiosity in her eyes.

He smiled. “He thinks he’s a great actor but I’ve known something was up since we got out of that meeting earlier today. Did he talk with you?”

“We walked the tarmac earlier. I talked and he listened.” She weakly smiled. “He’s worried Buck - I’m not going to lie and say he’s fine, but he’s worried. Just promise me you’ll do everything you can to come back.”

Buck was silent, taking her words in. John Egan loved big and when you were in his inner circle, you were in. It had been a long time since Buck had someone new to worry about him. Sure, he had Marge and Buck but looks like he had another person in his corner. “I promise Addie, I’ll do everything I can to come home to him, you and Marge.”

“Marge? Got a girl back home, Gale Cleven?” She smiled, eyes widening at the little tidbit.

Nodding, his smile and eyes brightened. “I do. I’ll have to tell you all about her.”

“I look forward to that.” She gave him a look. “And I’ll tell you about my ATA time.”

He gave her a salute. “Sounds like a plan Addie.”

Without another thought, she pulled him in for a hug, giving him a tight squeeze. “Be safe, Gale.”

Hugging her back, he promised he would and that he would tease her tomorrow afternoon for worrying once they got back. She laughed at that, fully intending to hold him to that promise. With a quiet good night, he left her there, ducking into the hut. Wiping the unshed tears away, she shook her head before walking back to her barracks. Too many tears had been shed already and she was biting her lip to keep more from falling.

The hut was quiet as she got ready for bed. She wrote in her journal while the hut grew quiet around her. With a long sigh, she turned off her light, settling in knowing she would be getting very little sleep that night.

0400 hours

She had been tossing and turning for the last hour. She heard the jeeps roar to life as they moved around the base, heading to go wake up the pilots that were flying today.

Quietly getting out of bed, she got dressed hastily. Slipping on her shoes and her coat, she closed the door to the hut, shivering from the bitter coldness of the morning.

“Addie?” A voice called as she whirled around, not expecting anyone she’d know to be up so early. She smiled weakly seeing her father walk towards her, a mug of coffee in his hand. “What are you doing out here so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” She admitted, tugging her coat tighter around her attempting to ward off the chill.

“The boys are about to go into the briefing.” Her eyes widened. “If you stand in the back, you can get a glimpse of what will happen today and maybe that’ll calm you down?”

She couldn’t speak. Merely nodding, she followed her father to the hut, going in and immediately turning to the right, heading to the very back. One of the Red Cross girls gave her a mug of coffee, Addie smiled thankfully at her before she moved along.

She caught sight of Bucky and Buck walking in behind Huglin, taking their seats up front. “The target for today is Bremen.”

Taking a deep breath, Addie steadied herself listening to Huglin go into the details and the importance of the mission. “The 350th will be in high position with Major Cleven as lead pilot.”

Murmuring a ‘shit’ under her breath, she knew that wouldn’t calm Bucky down in the least. She knew and trusted Buck to be just as he’d been since she met him, cool and calm under pressure.

With the briefing wrapping up, she promptly slipped out, waiting by the door to meet Meatball and DeMarco. Just as she saw him, he called out to her. “Addie!”

She watched him let go of Meatball’s lead as he bounded over to her, excitedly jumping on her to get attention. “Morning Meatball, Captain.” Leaning over, she carded her hand through the fluffy fur, giving Meatball plenty of pats.

“Morning Addie. Thanks for watching him.” DeMarco wandered over with a bright smile on his face. He patted his thigh, calling to Meatball, petting the fluffy dog, crouching down and giving him a hug, murmuring sweet nothings to the puppy.

She gave him a moment, grinning watching the interaction. “Anytime. Benny, be safe out there today. And I’ll see you all later on today.”

Standing, he saluted her with a smirk. “See you later Addie. Don’t be too bored without us.”

She nodded, saluting him, taking Meatball’s lead in her hand, watching as DeMarco caught up with his crew, slapping some on the backs in greeting. Scanning the area, her eyes caught Buck and Bucky talking and hesitated, knowing it was good for them both to have that moment. Not wanting to linger, she dragged Meatball away, heading towards the tower.

Walking up the tower steps, she ducked inside, avoiding everyone who was already on the tower’s platform waiting for the green light. Unclipping Meatball’s lead, he settled at her feet while she stared blankly at her desk. This was the first mission she knew someone specifically in the line up. The first mission that potentially had someone she called a friend that wasn’t coming home.

Willing herself not to go down that path and to start crying, she looked up at the ceiling and forced herself to think of something else. Cherished family memories, her times in a plane, anything to not start crying in that moment.

The door slammed, catching her attention as she whirled around. Sighing, she was happy for a moment to see Josie standing, until she realized Josie had mixed emotions on her face. “You okay?”

“Trying to be.” Addie admitted. Raising an eyebrow, Addie tried to get a read on Josie. “You?”

Putting down her purse, she came over to Addie’s desk and leaned against it. “Ran into DeMarco on my way here.” Meatball, hearing his owner's name, came to nuzzle Josie’s hand, offering the girl some comfort.

“And?” Addie perked up a bit. “I saw him about 20 minutes ago when I got Meatball.”

Josie smiled, weakly. “I must’ve just missed you. We talked, I gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him I’d love to go on a date with him.”

Squealing, Addie jumped up and pulled her best friend into a hug as she laughed excitedly, accidentally pushing Meatball away. He went to lay in the corner away from the temporary excitement with a huff. “Ahh I’m so excited you told him yes. What did he say?”

“I think I startled him.” She grinned, stepping away from Addie’s desk. “He didn’t say much before Bucky yelled at him to get in the truck. By the way, you should have a word with your Major about his potty mouth.” Addie raised an eyebrow at that. “It’s not very gentlemanly.”

Snorting, Addie shook her head. “That’ll go over as well as a lead balloon.”

“He promised me he’d come back and that he’d see me later today.” Josie sighed. “I don’t know how you’re so calm right now. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest and they haven’t even left yet.”

Addie exhaled, pulling Josie into a hug. “I don’t have any advice. I didn’t know Bucky went up the previous times until he was already in the air and we weren’t together during those times. I’m just trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of today - there’s nothing I can say to you or Bucky that’ll help today but I’m here if you need anything.”

“Are you going out there to watch?” Josie quietly asked, stepping back.

Shaking her head, Addie frowned. “No, not today. But you can if you want.”

“No I don’t want that ….” She trailed off, shaking her head. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself, attempting to hyping herself up to face the day.

The next hour passed slowly as the girls attempted to treat it just like a normal day. Addie reviewed supply requests from around the base while Josie attempted to schedule several meetings with Colonels from other bases.

Looking up from the paperwork, she saw Bucky hand on the rails with his head hanging. She saw him exhale deeply, averting her attention, not wanting to be caught looking at him.

Grabbing a stack of papers, she pushed away from the desk, went to the filing cabinets and started filing just so she was up, moving and keeping her mind occupied. The door opening caught her attention, willing herself to focus on the task instead of looking to see who it was. “Ladies.”

Bucky had made his way inside, standing near the door with a peculiar look on his face. She couldn’t read the expression on his face and that instantly put her on edge. She usually could read him and not being able to left her uneasy. He looked like he was going to lose it at any moment. Ignoring the scattered papers, she crossed the room, pulling him into her arms, protocol be damned at this moment. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulder, fingers playing with the wisps of hair on his neck while his arms wrapped around her waist. He buried his head in the juncture between her neck and shoulders and exhaled loudly. As they stood there, the tension in his shoulders eased a bit and she could feel him relax slightly as she ran her fingers through his hair. “I got you.”

They stood in the embrace for minutes, hours. Addie lost track of time until Bucky pulled back, swiping at his face, exhaling loudly. “Thank you.”

“I’m not going to ask you anything but go sit in my chair and find the green folder. That’s what I promised you.” She whispered, giving him a nudge towards her desk. Walking over to the small table in the corner, she poured coffee into a mug before setting it on the desk, within his reach.

Without another word, she went back to the cabinet, continuing to file the papers. She caught Josie’s eye and shook her head, knowing there was nothing either of them could say.

For the next hour, the only noise was the flipping of paper from Bucky, opening another cabinet from Addie and the methodically clicking of keys from Josie as she typed. Each of them were lost in their own thoughts as the hour slowly passed by.

Josie pushed up from her desk, slapped her hand to her thigh and softly called for Meatball. “I can’t sit here another minute. I’m taking him out for a long walk and some fresh air.”

Nodding, Addie watched them leave before looking over at Bucky who had his lip pulled between his teeth. Finishing up the last of the filing, she took a seat in the chair in front of her desk and watched him as he read. The slight widening of his eyes as he took in her exploits or the grin that tugged at his lips as he read a comment or addition to the report. A snort escaped his lips as he flipped a page, making her file that for later so he could tell her what caused him to make the noise.

It was another twenty minutes before he looked up to see her sitting there. “Bluebird, you’re lucky you didn’t get demoted earlier than February.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” She scoffed, raising an eyebrow in a challenge.

Bucky threw his head back and laughed. “You barrel rolled a Supermarine Spitfire, Addie. That should have gotten you thrown out and sent back home, which would have been absolutely devastating for me. How did you not get your ass handed to you?”

“Pure luck I’m guessing.” She shrugged. “Do you see why I didn’t fly them long before I got the big birds? Couldn’t do a barrel roll in a fort.”

Chuckling, Bucky held up the folder. “Thank you for sharing this with me. Helped to know what you are capable of doing. I’d be honored to fly with you on any mission, Captain.”

“Not anytime soon, I’m afraid.” Frowning, she shrugged.

Bucky snorted, leaning back in her chair, stretching out his long legs. “It’s a damn shame they’ve grounded you Captain.”

She hummed in approval, looking at his almost relaxed face. “When are the boys supposed to be back?”

“Not until after lunch. How is it only 0900?” He groaned, throwing his head back, exhaling loudly. “Sorry Bluebird but I don’t know how you do this every single time.”

“To be fair, this is the first one I specially know people up there.” She gave him a pointed look. “I didn’t know you were up there until just before you touched back down. Someone failed to tell me that.”

He had the decency to look abash, giving her a wide grin. “Didn’t want you to be worried, Bluebird.”

“And you didn’t think I was worried when I heard the 389th took you up?” She shook her head, disbelief in her eyes, giving him a look. “John Egan, you had already charmed me at that point. You didn’t think I cared for you?”

He shrugged, sitting up in her chair. “I had hoped that you liked me but you were standoffish until I got to know you in the fort that night. After that night, I knew I had a chance with you and knew I couldn’t blow it.”

“You’ve been alright.” She teased, causing him to pop up from the chair and pulling her into his embrace with a squeal. His fingers found purchase on her sides, her eyes widened in horror. “Bucky, John no.”

He didn’t heed her warning as his fingers wiggled, causing her to shriek and laugh. Attempting to push away from him, she failed, as he kept one arm wrapped around her. “I take back what I said. You’ve been more than alright. A true gentleman and a great boyfriend.”

“You’re ticklish.” He stated the obvious, a wicked grin crossing his lips. “Filing that information for later. Though I half expected Colonel Baker to make an appearance.”

Waving a dismissive hand, Addie shook her head. “He’s in Manchester for the day at some brass meeting. I wasn’t really paying attention when he told me. You and Bowman are in charge.”

“Let’s just hope Bowman stays in the command center for the rest of the day.” Bucky wickedly grinned.

Smirking, Addie knew that was a long shot. “You know he’ll be up here as the boys are supposed to be back.”

“Then I guess we’re going to get all nervous energy out before he comes up.” Bucky pulled her flush against his chest, leaning down and capturing her lips in a steamy kiss.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she stood on her tiptoes, leaning up to kiss him again. He settled against her desk, making it easier for her to kiss him in the new position. Running her fingers through the curls at the nap of his neck, he groaned in the kiss, deeping it slightly. Sighing, she broke away, looking into his baby blues. “Damn Bucky.”

“You took the words from my mouth.” He sighed, leaning up to kiss her again.

1300 hours

“Twelve . . . thirteen . . . fourteen . . . fifteen.” Her and Meatball stood in the tower’s shadow, counting the planes as they touched down. She didn’t know which crews were in which planes but seeing them touchdown slightly calmed her racing heart.

Hearing footfalls on the stairs, she turned, watching Bucky grin, stepping onto the grass. “Buck made it back. I’m heading out there to go meet him, take him to interrogation. Want to come?”

Shaking her head, she exhaled slowly at those words. “No, you should go see him. I’ll see him in a bit but thank you for telling me. Any word on the others?”

“Blakely and DeMarco were others I heard call through.” Bucky grinned. “I’ve got to get out there but see you later?”

Emotional, Addie threw her arms around Bucky’s shoulders, sniffling. He put a hand on her chin, tilting it up, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “You sure you don’t want to lay eyes on him yourself?”

“There’ll be plenty of time for that. He’s probably in shock and needs to see you first. I’ll see him at dinner and the club.” She grinned, tension leaving her shoulders at the happy return. “I’ll walk over to the interrogation hut, gotta give Meatball back to DeMarco.”

Kissing her again, gave Meatball a few pats before heading to the Jeep to head to the tarmac. She watched him leave, fingers touching her lips at the tingling his kisses left. Chuckling to herself, still trying to wrap her head around the enigma Bucky Egan was and how he was hers.

Picking up Meatball’s lead, they started walking towards the interrogation hut. She steadied herself for the haunted looks she knew the men would have as they entered. Looking out over the tarmac, she watched the crews inspect each of the B-17s, making notes of what needed to be repaired and which forts needed to be sent out for further repairs than the base could handle. Life continued on, even with the black clouds hanging over their heads.

She pulled herself out of the downhearted mood nearing the hut. Plastering a half smile on her face, she nodded at Tatty as she handed her a mug of coffee. “You doing alright?”

“Glad they made it back.” She took a sip of coffee, hissing when it hit the roof of her mouth. Tatty nodded, someone calling her name. Tatty gave her a small smile, touching her arm, making her way to the hut.

Tugging on Meatball’s lead, she went to lean on a jeep, waiting for the boys to appear. She knew they would be coming out of the side door. Settling in, she shook her head, wishing the awful thoughts she had most of the morning would go away. She knew it wouldn’t be the last time she’d see the men go up but happy for the moment that they came home.

“Addie!” The yell came, starling her, dropping Meatball’s lead, watching the puppy run happily to his owner. DeMarco dropped to the ground to catch the puppy as he barked and licked his owner.

Tears sprung to her eyes at the reunion, making her way over to DeMarco, an excited grin plastered on his face. “Welcome back Captain.”

“Thank you! And thank you for watching him. I’m guessing he was good?” Benny looked up at her.

Smirking, she gave him a look. “He hung out with Josie most of the time.”

“That’s good that he was able to keep you both company.” Benny stood, giving Addie a mixed look of confusion and elation.

Addie took a step closer to him, a serious look on her face. “I know you asked Josie out - do not break my best friend’s heart, Benny. You break her heart, I kick your ass.”

DeMarco had the decency to look a little bit scared of her, taking her words to heart. Immediately, schooling his features, he returned to the cool suave she had always known from him. A grin tugged on his lips. “She told you about that?”

“There’s very little that goes on within this base that I don’t know about, Benny. Just remember that and make sure your men know that as well.” She raised an eyebrow. “Josie is my best girl and she’s been hurt in the past. Don’t hurt her, Benny, I’m begging you.”

Benny nodded, meeting her eyes. “I promise, I won’t hurt her. She’s in charge, wherever this might go.”

“Good man.” She patted his shoulder. “Have you seen either of the Bucks?”

DeMarco chuckled, loving how promptly she changed the subject. “They were still in interrogation when I left but they should be wrapping up. You’ll be at the club later?”

“I think that’s the plan.” She nodded. “Glad you’re back Benny.”

Watching him walk off, she leaned against the jeep throwing her head back, soaking in the sunshine, taking a moment to herself. Looking at her watch, she sighed seeing that it was only 0139. “Adelaide Baker!”

Tilting her head, she squinted from behind the aviators to see who fully named her. Her face broke into a bright grin seeing the two Bucks walking towards her. Pushing off the jeep, she rushed towards Buck, throwing her arms around him. “Welcome back, Buck!”

He laughed, returning the hug, picking her up, swinging her around as they both laughed. Once her feet were back on the ground, she slapped his arm with a grin. “All that worrying for nothing, Addie.”

“I have plenty to worry about, Buck, as did your best friend here.” She said, pointing to Bucky, who watched the two of them with a fond smile on his face. Bucky nodded agreeing with his girl.

Buck looked between the two of them with a smirk. “It’s good to have feet on the ground.”

Addie finally relaxed, the last of the tension leaving her shoulders. Her boys were back, safe and sound. “Now what?”

“Lunch, nap, then club later.” Buck announced, already knowing what the rest of the day entailed.

Bucky look between Buck and Addie. “Addie, can you join us for lunch?”

“Lead the way gents.” She laced her hands with Bucky, giving Buck a look. “If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”

“Appreciate it, Addie.” He nodded, starting to walk to the mess hut.

Happily, she squeezed Bucky’s hand. She didn’t care what happened the rest of the day, in that moment she was content and everything was alright for the moment.

6300 words later we’ve reached the end of chapter 4. What did you think? Feedback is always appreciated!!

Chapter 5

[bandagesandloveletters]

For A Fortnight There We Were Idea- evelyn and her husband are freshly divorced and he’s jealous of callum, maybe he and callum have a little confrontation

For A Fortnight There We Were

"You know, when I pictured my first time out with another man after my divorce," Evelyn burped with a giggle as her second pint settled, "it was nothing like this." Her and Callum were cocooning themselves in the back booth of a pub, each of them with a baseball hat tugged low and a cigarette in their hands.

"And what were you picturing? An old billionaire on a yacht?"

"I had offers," she hummed as she gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer so he was standing between her legs where she sat on a stool.

"I'm sure you did," he mumbled. He leaned in for a kiss and Ev dodged to drop her forehead to his shoulder.

"Someone has their phone pointed at us." The last thing she wanted was photos and videos of her and Callum to be plastered all over social media.

"We don't have to hide anymore, Evvie. Let them watch me love on you." The way he had been dreaming about. Touching her and kissing her without worrying about optics or fielding phone calls from his publicist on how best to keep their distance the next few days until the attention died down. She kissed his neck in response and pulled back to look at him.

"There's no going back." Once they offered the world this glimpse of them, they would voraciously seek out more and more in an attempt to consume all of them. She was afraid it would ruin them. That it only worked because some parts of it were secret.

"I'm not interested in going back. Only my future with you."

"Someone has been reading too many novels with romance in them." Her elbows rested as his shoulders as his nose tipped against hers.

"Evelyn, I'm going to kiss you now." His hand cupped her cheek and she smiled as his lips pressed against hers. She held him close as he pecked her lips a few more times. "Let them say whatever they want to say. We are going to do whatever we want to do and not worry about it."

"That's hard for me." Every minute of every day of her life was planned for her. From waking up to going to bed, she lived and died by her calendar. Callum was asking her to exert some spontaneity. "You might need to kiss me a few more times to bring me around to the idea." His grin was wicked as he obliged.

----

It was dark enough for them to hold hands and walk home from the pub, Ev shocked there wasn't a line of photographers waiting outside after the video of them kissing had already made it's rounds on Twitter. "I want a million more nights just like this!" she squealed as he lifted their interlocked hands and she spun around. "Will you be my midnight snack tonight, Mr. Turner?" she asked. She looked up at him with love in her eyes but he was looking behind her in the direction of his townhouse.

"Get behind me." Ev caught a glimpse of the figure standing by the gate before Callum had her chest to his back, their interlocked hands going into the pocket of his jacket as they walked closer. "Can I help you, mate?"

"You can get your hands off my fucking wife." Evelyn's eyes almost fell out of her head she opened them so wide over his shoulder. Logan.

"I think you need to go." Neither of them wanted to have to call the police. It would bring too much attention.

"She's mine! You can't have her!" Logan stalked forward and Callum pushed Evelyn back and stepped forward to hold his hands to her ex's chest.

"Get in a fucking Uber and drive away. She's not your wife anymore and you don't fucking own her."

"You want that whore?" Logan asked as he pointed at her where she was shivering from the cold and the panic.

"What did you just call her?" Callum pushed him further away from her as he stalked forward like a predator who had found its pray.

"Both of you stop! Logan, go home. Callum, please let's go inside." She reached for his arm and wrapped her hands around it in an effort to pull him away from the increasingly dangerous situation.

"You know what? You can have her. She's so fucked in the head anyways." He had plans to be the bigger man and let it go and go inside the way Evelyn had requested. But then he heard her gasp at his words and felt her fingertips dig into the skin of his arm for solace and knew these were words she had heard come from his mouth before and that they were sending her right back to that dark and lonely place.

"He has two fucking seconds, Ev." He was warning her what was going to happen. Didn't want her to be surprised when he broke his jaw.

"Don't, please. Please, please, let's just go inside." His twitched as he weighed the desire to protect her through physical dominance and to comfort her in the way she asking him to. Callum settled for the latter. He kept his body between her and her ex, bracketing his arms around her as she punched in the code for the gate.

"I'm right behind you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Let it go, Cal, please."

"I can't, Ev. Go inside and lock the door. I'll be right there." She looked back once over her should on the stairs to the door and her ex smiled the way he always did when he was toying with. It showed how much he enjoyed still being able to get under her skin.

"I'm sure you want to hit me. Let's get this over with, Turner." Callum shook his head.

"I respect her too much to do that. You've taken enough from her, Logan, did the first honorable thing in your miserable life and signed those papers. Let her fucking go because if I see you again...I swear to God I will welcome the consequences."

Evelyn watched from the window as the two men seemed to exchange threats with each other. As Callum stood and watched her ex-husband get into an Uber and drive out of their neighborhood. He stood there for a few more seconds and let out a deep breath and square his shoulders before turning to walk into the house.

Not for the first time was Evelyn nauseous over the baggage she was bringing into his life. Not for the first time she was scared that it was now one step too far for him and he would leave. Not for the first time did she want to scream out into the universe so it could swallow her pain and lock it away.

And not for the last time she was so utterly in love with Callum that she could finally think of the word forever.

[bandagesandloveletters]

just because i'm super curious

if you answer this please consider reblogging, I'm really intrigued so it'd be great if this could reach as many people as possible

(and if you answered no - what is your favourite?)

[bandagesandloveletters]

Taking Comfort (In Your Arms) - Chapter 3

June 9, 1943

After 26 days of Bucky talking about his boys, they were finally arriving and there was a buzz around the airfield as Addie made her way to her office. There were talks of the locals coming to welcome the Americans to the airfield and there were a few available women already tittering about what they should wear as a warm welcome. Addie merely laughed and shook her head, planning to tell Bucky that his boys didn't know what they were walking into.

As she let the door slam behind her, she narrowed her eyes to Josie sitting there with a bright grin on her face. “Oh Addie there you are.”

“It’s 0800 and I’m exactly where I usually am at that time, every weekday morning.” She gave her best friend a look. “What is going on?”

Josie pushed away from her desk, hurrying over to her, wrapping a hand around her arm and pulling her over to the window. “Major Egan was in here earlier looking for you. Colonel Baker pulled him into his office before I could find out what’s going on.”

Raising an eyebrow, Addie was at a loss of what John could want. Last night they had a drink at the pub. He was all excited at seeing his boys in the morning and her telling him about the prank the ground crew had attempted to pull on her father. He was a perfect gentleman as he walked her home and gave her a few kisses before leaving her. The nurses and Red Cross girls she was bunking with had fully interrogated her after the fact. They wanted to know all the details about how she had captivated Bucky Egan, the airfield’s biggest flirt, but she was mummed on the subject; the girls giving her hell for not divulging.

“I don’t know what that is about. Unless . . .” she trailed off, eyes wide. “Is it just Bucky and my father in that room or are there others?”

Josie shook her head, biting her lip. “I’m not sure. Your dad just saw him standing there and invited him into his office.”

Rolling her eyes upward, Addie sighed. “And how long ago was this?”

“Like 10 minutes, not very long at all.” Josie soothed her. “You don’t think . . .”

Raising an eyebrow, Addie motioned for her to finish the question. “You don’t think what?”

“That your father is giving him the “you hurt my little girl” speech?” Josie whispered, eyes wide at the thought.

Addie thought of her father - her strong, silent father who was always there for his children. He didn’t meddle in any of three children’s affairs, letting them make their own mistakes and learn from them. If he pulled Bucky into his office for the “talk” it would be a step away from his normal demeanor.

Just as she worked up the courage to storm into her father’s office, the door opened, causing the two girls to turn and watch the two men laugh as they walked out, shaking hands. Colonel Baker looked at his daughter and Josie, pausing, knowing he was interrupting something between the two of them. “Addie, today’s going to be a very busy day - might need you on the tarmac later this afternoon when the boys arrive.”

“Whatever you need, Colonel.” She replied, giving him a look. He gave his daughter another look, trying to read her, not doing as well as he had in previous years, before he turned back to re-enter his office, leaving Bucky with the two girls.

Hearing the door close, she raised an eyebrow at Bucky, waiting for him to spill the beans. Crossing one ankle over the other, Bucky leaned against her desk with a know it all smirk on his face, staring down Addie, without a care in the world. Over the last few weeks, their staredowns had become legendary around the base. Others have learned to ignore them until one of them breaks their gazes.

“There’s nothing to worry about regarding that meeting, Addie.” Bucky’s teasing voice broke the quietness that had fallen in the room. “The Colonel was just making sure I had everything I needed prior to the boys landing.”

The teasing tone to his voice made her doubt his words but she knew it well enough that there was some truth laced in. “Okay then. What time do your boys arrive?”

“They’ll be touching down around 1300. Will you be on the tarmac welcoming them?” Bucky asked, pushing off her desk, coming closer to her.

Shrugging, she pushed away from the window, meeting him halfway. “You heard the Colonel, I’m sure I’ll be out there eventually. You know the locals are all coming to welcome your boys - was that your doing?”

“Possibly. I might have dropped a few hints the last couple of nights at the pub.” The mischievous glint in his eyes caused her to roll her eyes. He stopped in front of her, his hand caressing her jaw. “You know they’re all excited that the Americans are descending.”

Looking up at him, she met his eyes as she giggled. “Uh huh, sure. I think you’re more excited than all of East Anglia. Your Buck arrives today.”

“And I cannot wait for you two to meet.” He leaned down, placing a sweet kiss on her lips. Pulling back, he looked at her, dropping his voice. “Your father isn’t very happy with me dating his daughter and told me to keep our affairs on the downlow but that’s the last thing I want to do. I want to take you to the town and show you off.”

“Oh we’re dating now? Hard to date someone without you even asking me?” She teased, raising an eyebrow.

Bucky squeezed her sides before giving her a look. “Go out with me Captain Baker, you know officially?”

“How can I refuse such an offer?” She smirked, leaning in, standing on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his lips.

He returned the kiss before reaching behind her desk, pulling out a bouquet of poppies and baby’s breath. “Will these make up for my lack of romance?”

Pulling the bouquet closer to her, she inhaled their sweet smell, her jaw dropping at the romantic aspect of it. His voice dropped to a whisper, tilting her head up to meet her eyes. “Be my girl, officially, Adelaide Baker?”

“Yes.” The confirmation was off her lips before she could even think about it. “Yes, John Egan, I’ll be your girl officially.”

Kissing her once more, this one with a bit of heat behind it, he pulled back, giving her a wink as he prepared to leave. “I need to find out your middle name.”

“That’s the most pressing matter right now?” She teased.

He smirked, chuckling. “It is indeed. Spill Bluebird.”

“Marie. Unoriginal I know.” She grinned.

“Adelaide Marie Baker, I’ll see you later?” She loved how it rolled off his tongue.

“If not on the tarmac, then at the mess for dinner.” She winked at him, watching him walk away before calling. “It’s going to be a great day, Bucky.”

“You know it, Bluebird.” He called back, the slamming of the door the only sound as he made his way out.

Taking a seat at her desk, she willed her heart to calm down. His kisses were some kind of magic and she savored each of them, memorizing them. She had a list of kisses that she could recall - big bird kisses, office kisses, stair kisses, field kisses (those were the more passionate ones), and see you later kisses. And now they were officially a couple.

A clearing throat pulled her from her memories. Looking up, she saw Josie grinning at her from her own desk. “And what was that?”

“What?” Addie played dumb, giving her best friend a smirk. “This isn’t a big secret that I’ve kept from you. You have known since he first kissed me.”

Josie shook her head. “But to do it at your desk, where anyone could see you? Bold, Captain Baker.”

“For all to see?” Addie scoffed, wide-eyed at her best friend. “We know Huglin is on rounds currently and my father is tucked safely in his office. Bucky knew you wouldn’t say a damn word - c’mon Josie, what’s this really about?”

Josie walked over to Addie’s desk, leaning over, dropping her voice to a whisper. “The last thing any of us want is for you to be transferred to another base. Just a reminder to keep a good distance from him in public, Captain.”

“Has there been any whispers?” The panic was evident in her voice as she took in her best friend’s serious face.

Josie shook her head. “Not yet but it’s only a matter of time. Might want to tell Lemmons to keep a tight grip on his crews - the busybodies and gossips they are. Also, you might want to tell your Major to keep his boys from gossipping too much - you know how quickly word spreads around here.”

She quickly two fingered salute Josie, before grabbing a pile of papers, appearing to look busy in case anyone should enter the room. “Aye aye Captain. Thanks for the heads up.”

“I don’t want you or the Major to go anywhere. It has been nice to see you giddy as you have been these last few weeks, Addie. Don’t want that to disappear anytime soon.” Josie gave her a wink, going back over to her desk.

Addie sighed, leaning back in her chair. Another thing to add to her to do list, right underneath kissing Bucky Egan again.

1300 - tarmac

Leaning against the parked jeep, she slid her aviators on as she watched the crews prepare for the eight B-17s to make their appearance. The locals had come out in stunning numbers, all ready to welcome the boys from the 100th to East Anglia.

Meanwhile, her eyes kept sweeping the airfield, looking for one man in particular, who had yet to make his appearance. She rolled her eyes at herself - she had literally just seen him 40 minutes ago in the mess as they had lunch together, along with 40 other personnel. Not exactly the romantic luncheon he whispered he wished it was. But that was the enigma that was Bucky Egan - leaving her wanting so much more of him.

The familiar rumble of B-17s caught her ear as she looked skyward. “Here they come.” Her father muttered as she looked from the sky to him, hearing something off in his voice. “You okay?”

He sighed. “The worst part of the job - putting these boys up in these aircrafts, not knowing if or when they’ll be home. There’s 80 men coming today with another 300 coming over the next few days. It’s the unforgivable aspect of war, Addie.”

“You have to believe they’ll come home and train them to do their jobs.” Addie looked at her father, a serious tone in her voice. “Where’s my strong, silent father that has been a guiding light all of my life? Don’t fail me now.”

Pulling her into a side hug, Colonel Baker chuckled. “Always the strong one, Addie. I’m sure you’re keeping Major Egan on his toes.”

“You don’t know half of it.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “Want to tell me what the meeting was about this morning?”

The Colonel’s eyes went wide as he looked at his daughter. “What did he tell you?”

“He was very tight-lipped about it - wouldn’t mention anything you two talked about, which makes me think it was about mine and his affairs.” She gave him her best upset face but her heart wasn’t fully into it.

The Colonel sighed. “I just want to make sure that you’re not transferred due to unseemingly affairs, Addie, that’s all. I just reminded him that he’s a Major, leading boys into a war where things can turn on a dime. Just wanted to remind him why he’s here and not to let distractions get in the way of that. I’m just not sure he’s the best man for you right now.”

“So I’m a distraction now?” She gave her father an angry look. “John Egan not being the best man for me? He is a good man, taking care of me and the only one keeping me level headed and sane day to day. And for the record, I’m not distracting him. We both know what our jobs are and that’s to get home alive.”

He sighed. He was never good at explaining things to his daughters. Elizabeth always had a level-headedness to her while Adelaide was more likely to fly off the handle at things; though she had gotten better with time, especially during her times with the ATAs. The last few months had seemed to undo a lot of that.

“I didn’t mean you’re a distraction, Adelaide. Don’t twist my words. I just reminded him that you both have a job to do and it’s important to remember what that job is so you both can continue to live your lives.” He sighed, pulling her into a side hug and a kiss on the forehead. “I just want you to be happy. I may not like that he’s taking a liking to my daughter - give me some time and I could come around. Just be careful as there are others watching the coming and going around the base.”

Nodding, she tightened her hold on her dad before releasing him. “Sorry to yell but I understood, Colonel. Josie already warned me to talk with Lemmons about the gossiping biddies of the crew members and get Bucky to get his men in the same order. Just promise me that you’ll get to know John outside of Bucky.”

“Wouldn’t hurt at all for you to have that talk with Lemmons. And I promise to get to know John Egan and not fall back on the Bucky Egan I know.” The Colonel smiled. “Let’s go and welcome these boys to the base.”

Hopping into the jeep, she felt the warm sunshine on her face as the jeep rolled down the tarmac. Pulling into one of the hard stands, Addie stayed back, watching her father welcome the men as they stumbled out of their forts. As the boys passed, bright smiles on their faces, they tilted their hats in her direction.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. She knew Bucky would be happy having his friends around him but what these boys would see in the coming days, would change them forever. And that hurt more than she could ever admit.

When her dad was back in the jeep, she gave him a look. “Am I needed out here?”

“I thought you were looking forward to welcoming the boys with me.” Her father raised an eyebrow, knowing something was up.

She gave him a half smile. “Just thinking about our conversation earlier and I’m not in a very welcoming mood.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Want me to drive you back to the tower?”

“No, the walk will do me good.” She attempted a smile but her heart wasn’t in it. “I’m going to have dinner on base tonight but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Love you Addie.”

“Love you too dad.” Getting out of the jeep, she started down the quieter tarmac as all the forts were parked in their hard stands. Seven had landed; there were supposed to be eight but that was for the Air Exec to figure out.

She was stuck in her head, thinking of the conversation with her father, and failed to hear a jeep horn beep. It was until it was almost directly behind her did she jump, startled out of her thoughts. Looking over her shoulder, she shook her head at Bucky who was wildly laughing at scaring her. “Look who it is.”

“Pain in my butt, Air Exec.” She called back, just as the jeep came to a stop.

Bucky clutched his chest in mock pain while his passenger chuckled. “You don’t mean that. Damn Bluebird, you know how to hurt a man.”

“What man? I don’t see any men around here.” She smirked as the passenger laughed louder as Bucky pouted, slugging his passenger in the arm.

Bucky’s eyes rose as he looked at her. “Continue to be mean to me, Bluebird. Won’t give you what I was going to give you.”

“Hmmm something tells me I’ll survive.” Winking at him, she held her hand out for the passenger. “Since Bucky’s being rude, I’m Captain Adelaide Baker, but you can call me Addie. Receptionist, rule breaker and all around know it all around base - anything you need, just ask.”

The passenger grinned, shaking her hand. “Gale Cleven, ma’am. This one has dubbed me Buck and it’s so nice to meet you. This one has stopped talking about you since I landed 20 minutes ago.”

“Well for the last 26 days it’s been all about you, so I guess this is payback?” She shrugged. “But it's nice to put a face with the name, Buck. Or do you prefer Gale?”

“I’ll answer to either.” He smiled.

Nodding, Addie turned her attention to the other man, the one who was quickly grabbing hold of her heart and not letting go. Bucky reached forward and laced his fingers with hers, giving them a squeeze, as he looked up at her through his aviators. “I have been meaning to talk to you - I have been told by two different people that you need to get ahead of your boys joining the gossip on base.”

“I’m not sure I’m following, Bluebird.” Bucky raised an eyebrow, attempting to follow where she was going with the conversation.

Sighing, Addie leaned closer to the jeep. “The gossip about what the boys might see between you and me.” She pointed her finger between the two of them. “Josie and the Colonel both warned me. I’m also going to have the same conversation with Lemmons about the gossipping biddies on the crew and their need to squawk.”

“Consider it done, Captain.” Buck chimed in, knowing that Bucky would slowly come around to what she was saying but he picked it up rather quickly. “We’ll make sure the men don’t spread unnecessary gossip.”

Addie grinned brightly. “Thank you Majors. Appreciate it.”

“I’d rather we let the rumors spread but I hear what you’re saying.” Bucky agreed, sighing in defeat as his best friend and his girl ganged up on him, leaving him no choice. He tugged her closer to the jeep, causing her knees to jar into the metal.

Leaning in closer, she quickly pecked Bucky’s awaiting lips, giggling at the scoff when she pulled away too quickly for his liking. “I will see you both later. Nice to meet you, Buck. Bye Bucky, don’t cause too much trouble now that your boys are here.” Giving him a look, she smiled as they sped away. She felt a bit better after that interaction but she still had a long afternoon in front of her.

As she continued her walk, her mood picked up a bit and before she knew it, she was back at her desk, the pile of papers in front of her a daunting task. Sighing, she flipped on the radio and went to work.

2200 Hours

Sitting in the middle of the tarmac on a blanket, she leaned her head back, wind ruffling her hair as she watched the sun lazily set after a long day. The sky was filled with vibrant hues of pinks, purples, and oranges as the sunset was painted out on the horizon.

The evening had been loud and deemed a roaring success. The officer’s club was brimming with new men, all eager for drinks, dancing and getting to know the young ladies of the base. She had stood at the bar with Buck and Bucky, eagerly hearing stories of their training. Buck had quickly become a friend as he recalled stories of Bucky to her. Bucky had stolen plenty of kisses and the boys had ribbed him for being a completely different man than they had seen stateside.

But now, she wanted quiet. The tiredness of the day hadn’t caught up to her yet and her mind was racing a thousand miles a minute. Taking refuge on the tarmac, she was hoping the quietness would tire her out.

Heavy footsteps caught her attention as she looked over her shoulder. A person, definitely male, was walking towards her. She squinted, positive it wasn’t Bucky but she couldn’t see from the distance. Before she could call out a greeting, a Husky came running at her, pacing around her excitedly. Holding out her hand, she cooed at it as it sniffed her before wiggling eagerly, licking her face as her fingers scratched at its coat. “Hope you don’t mind that Meatball and I are interrupting your quiet time?”

She smiled, seeing Buck had made his way closer to them. “Not at all. Meatball?”

“Benny DeMarco, my co-pilot, won him in a game of craps. He howled the entire way here from Greenland and yet I’m soft on him.” Buck said, coming to stop behind her, watching her enthusiastically pet the dog.

Looking back at him, she tilted her head to the blanket. “Come have a seat, Major. Did you lose your sidekick?”

“He was starting to sing so I quickly got out of there. DeMarco asked me to take Meatball out so we did some exploring and happened upon you.” Buck sat down grinning. “Have you had the pleasure of hearing Bucky sing yet, Captain?”

She raised an eyebrow, curiosity laced in her voice. “Do you mean while he’s driving or in front of an audience?”

“I mean full blown singing in front of an audience.” Buck chuckled, shaking his head at his best friend.

Shaking her head, Addie was a little weary to find out what that all entailed. “Can’t say I have, Buck. Should I be nervous when I do see it in person?”

“It’s a sight to behold, that’s for sure. And one I’m not sure you’ll be quick to forget that experience.” He ran a hand through Meatball’s fur as she giggled.

A comfortable silence hovered over the two of them, each lost in their own thoughts. Night was quickly descending on them as a chill swept in the air. Meatball flopped on the blanket with a sigh. “I can’t say that I’m glad you’re here, Buck. But I’m happy that I got to meet you and I know Bucky is ecstatic that you’re in England.”

“Mixed emotions, Addie?” He asked, as she leaned back on her hands, trying to get comfortable on the concrete.

Shrugging, she eyed him. “It’s different over here, and not just because we’re in a war. It’s hard to explain but you’ll understand soon enough. Bucky’s awfully proud of you and the boys, Buck, you know that right?”

“I do.” His gravelly voice agreed. “But you know that he’s awfully proud of you too, Addie.”

Her eyes went wide. “He is? He only knows a little bit about me.”

“From what I understand, while you were an ATA, you got into a handful of skirmishes that you managed to get out of.” Buck chuckled at her panicked look. “Relax, one of the Brits was telling stories after you left tonight. It made Bucky pretty proud to know you.”

She shook her head and mumbled a cuss word under her breath. Gale laughed at that. “You know, when he wrote to me and said that he met someone, I held my breath. I wasn’t sure what that meant but from what I’ve seen so far and after meeting you, I think you’re good for him Addie. Give him something to come home to.”

“Damn Brits and not knowing when to keep their mouths shut. He has you, Buck. He doesn’t need anything else.” She spoke softly. Buck quickly shook his head at that.

“Bucky has been a lone ranger for a long time. He’s dedicated for sure but the Air Force has always dictated his next move and yes, he has fun along the way. But someone to live for, he hasn’t had that in a long time and I think he’s met his match. I think you two are good for one other - someone to lean on when times get tough” Buck spoke quietly.

She let the words tumble in her mind as the quietness came back. “My ATA life is gone and never to return. Those hopes and dreams have vanished. I have to figure out what’s next.”

“From what I heard, once a fly girl, always a fly girl.” Buck chuckled. “For the record, Bucky can’t keep a secret for anything so don’t trust him with anything you don’t want getting out.”

“Noted.” She giggled. “You know he’s publicly going to hate that we’re friends but privately, he’s going to be all excited.”

Buck threw his head back and laughed. “You’ve got him pegged already, Addie. To the start of a beautiful friendship and driving Bucky crazy up a wall. And if you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear more about your time with the ATAs.”

“I’d love to share, Buck. It’s just difficult to talk about it sometimes.” She let the emotion swirl through her words as he put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“The hard parts always are but I’m here if you ever need a listening ear.” He smiled, dropping his hand as Meatball whined for attention. She watched him card a hand through the thick fur in a soothing motion.

“Same goes for you Buck. There’s a reason you’re moseying around at night when you had a long day of traveling. Thoughts keeping you up?” She arched an eyebrow, curiosity brimming at what brought him out so late.

“Unfamiliar place - have to get to know it before I can settle for the night. It’s been that way through childhood and needing to really see a place before my mind settles. Though I suppose I’ll be familiar with it soon enough.” He mused, more to himself than her.

Humming, she agreed. “It’ll feel like home in a weird way sooner than you expect. It took me just over a week to call this place home and actually know where I was going instead of being turned around all the time. It’ll be the same for you too, I bet.”

“How long have you been out here?”

“Just over three months. When I had the riot act read to me from the ATAs, they didn’t know what to do with me. My options were to go home or set up a new base for a bunch of Americans, obviously you know which one I picked. But I soon came to love East Anglia like it was home. For a time, my sister was stationed here and my dad is here now so it has a homelike feeling to it.” She smiled.

Buck’s eyes went wide at the information. “Colonel Baker is your father?”

“Uh huh. He hasn’t been too hard on you boys yet has he?” She grinned, knowing her father could be tough, especially with a new batch of boys on base.

Buck shook his head, rubbing his jaw. “I have only met him once and he was cordial. I’m sure that’ll change over the weeks but Bucky told me it’s not Colonel Baker that I have to worry about - he said Colonel Huglin is much worse.”

“Only because Huglin doesn’t like Bucky - he believes the rumors about him a bit too much.” Addie sighed. “He’s a hardass son of a bitch.”

He threw his head back, laughing loudly into the night sky. Bucky had warned him that his girl had a bit of a potty mouth but to see it in person was completely different and entertaining. “Bucky mentioned that you said that about him. Best not to let him hear about it.”

“Nah, Huglin and I had words when I first got here. Huglin wasn’t a fan of having a washed up ATA on his base as a secretary.” She winked, giggling. “But I think I’ve grown on him - he hasn’t been this stellar with the brass his entire career and he has me to thank for that.”

Buck chuckled. “Does Bucky know what he’s gotten into with you?”

“I don’t believe so but it won’t take him long to figure it out, especially if you don’t keep your mouth shut. You’ve learned a lot of valuable information tonight, Cleven.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

Holding up his hands innocently, Buck smirked. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

She eyed him wearily, knowing how utterly persuasive John Egan could be, especially when he got a hint of someone knowing something important. She nodded, opting to believe his promise. “Okay then.”

“I’m sure the punishment for spilling secrets will be deadly enough.” Buck whispered as she giggled. “As long as the secrets aren’t spilled, then you won’t find out.”

A comfortable silence settled over the two of them. She was just going to suggest heading back to the barracks when a noise caught her attention.

“Of course you two would be found in the middle of the tarmac shooting the shit.” The loud voice of Bucky Egan broke the quietness enveloped the two.

“Finally realized I left you alone?” Buck called back as Bucky came closer to the two.

Meatball jumped up to meet him as Bucky stumbled closer to the pair. “It may have taken me a bit to notice you had left but I figured it out. Figured you’d be exploring the new place.”

“I was until I stumbled upon your girl. Meatball and I interrupted her quiet time.” Buck admitted as Bucky sat down beside them on the blanket.

Bucky smirked, pressing a sloppy kiss on her cheek. “Surprised she wasn’t up in one of the forts you boys brought in today.”

Eyeing him, she gave him a look. “That’s only for when I want to throw a temper tantrum. No need for one tonight.”

“That sounds like a story for another night.” Buck mused. “Meatball and I are calling it a night. Don’t stay out too late, Bucky.”

Giving Buck a two finger salute, Addie and Bucky watched him walk away, Meatball never leaving his side. “You two have a good conversation?”

“Getting to know one another, just like you wanted.” She grinned innocently. Bucky pressed a kiss to her lips. “Want to walk me home?”

He was shaky as he got to his feet, she grinning at him as he offered her a hand. “Are you going to be okay walking me home, Major?”

“Never better, Captain.” She shook her head, grabbing the blanket before looping her arm through his as they made their way down the tarmac. Bucky started singing under his breath as they moseyed along.

Blue skies

Smiling at me

Nothing but blue skies

Do I see

As always, feedback would be much appreciated. Anything you want to see in upcoming chapters? Send me a DM.

Chapter 4

[bandagesandloveletters]

HO HO HO! 🎅 It's your Summer Exchange Secret Santa again! I heard a special someone is currently in their John Egan and Rosie Rosenthal era... 👀

Santa has a few questions for you: 1. What are some of your favorite fanfiction tropes? Cliches, events, etc. What tidbits do you think you'll always love reading? 2. Recommend me some fics! Would love to read some of the ones you enjoy.

Until next time! *sound of Secret Summer Santa riding away on his sleigh*

Hello again Secret Santa! Its always a joy when you grace my inbox :).

I may be in an era of sorts...guilty as charged!

1. I love reading angst that either starts with fluff or ends with fluff. A good enemy to lovers always goes down well in this neck of the woods. Event wise, spring or autumn events are always fun reads. There's just something about blooming flowers, warm breezes, and spring air. Not to mention, the beauty of autumn is always fun to read about.

2. I could go on and on with recommendations but I'll give you my current top four that have me hooked:

•All The Things I Did series by @thedeviltohisangel

•Why All This Music? series by @cetaitlaverite

•A Pair of Silver Wings series by @major-mads

•I'm Your Man series by @hesbuckcompton-baby

I hope this helps! Its always lovely hearing from you!! ☺️

#nix's inbox #ask me anything

[bandagesandloveletters]

All The Things I Did (Interlude): My Little Loves

a/n: Mother's Day, 1950. a super long, fluffy fic about Mother's Day! there is also quite a bit of angst as this takes place about one month before John would ship off to fight in the Korean War. I really hope you all enjoy this little bit of a deeper look at the twins/Lillian's personalities and Cass/John as parents and the absolute chaos that their house always is but they fucking love it because they fucking love each other. chat soon my lovies xoxo

The gentle tickles of John’s lips pressing to her back caused a smile to spread across her face. She kept her eyes closed as he kissed every inch of her skin that was exposed by the dip in the back of her nightgown. 

“I know you’re awake, baby. Can see the goosebumps when I kiss you.”

“Keep going. I didn’t tell you to stop.” He smiled against her shoulder and reached for the hand resting against her rounded belly and twisting their fingers together. “Waking me up like this is exactly how we came to celebrate this day three years ago.”

“Happy Mother’s Day, my love. Last one as a mama of three, huh?” Cass hummed and wiggled her back further into his chest. He kissed behind her ear and buried his nose in her hair, relishing in the simple feeling of her in his arms. It would never get old for him. The quiet moments between them and their growing family were his favorite. There was no moniker he loved more than husband and father.

“If you had it your way I would always be pregnant.” 

“Can’t argue that. I love filling you up with my babies.” As if to illustrate his point, he found the hem of her silkwear at the top of her thighs and lifted it to expose her belly to him fully. She was two months along with the next addition to their family. They were both already so eager to have a little baby again. “And how can you blame me? We make the prettiest little ones.”

“I have to agree. How do you make it so they all have your eyes?” She rolled over to face him and look at the baby blues in question.

“I don’t do it on purpose. Just a side effect of my-” There was a gentle knock on the door. “My bets on Penny,” he whispered. 

“Fine. I’ll take Lilly.”

“Mommy? I come in?” It was Gale. They were both wrong. 

“Yes, my little dove.” Knocking on the door to Mommy and Daddy’s room was one of the most critical things they had taught the twins. It had only taken one time for them to walk in on a moment their innocent eyes should never be exposed to for John to use his stern dad voice. The tone was so rarely used that their toddler ears had listened very closely and had obeyed ever since.

“Happy Mama Day!” He came scurrying into their room, his blanket trailing behind him, and Cass caught him in her arms as he jumped onto the bed. 

“Careful, buddy,” John exclaimed as his wife grunted and fell against the pillow with the impact of her son. 

“Sorry!” A few days ago, John had reminded the kids that the day where they celebrate their mother was coming up. Gale had been particularly excited, giving John a stack of drawings that he wanted to gift her and asking if they could have pancakes for breakfast because they were her favorite. 

“Did you sleep well?” she asked as her hand stroked through his curls. He nodded from where his head was tucked under her chin. 

“Hungry,” he offered simply. All of a sudden, John had two sets of eyes on him. “Daddy, we have cakes?”

“We did say that was mommy’s favorite.” He stroked the pillow soft cheek of his son and Cass smiled as she recognized the look in his eyes. One of pure adoration. One that he only ever looked upon her and their children with. “Go get your sisters so they can help.”

“Okay. Love you mama. Love you papa.” Gale reached for his dad first, kissing John’s puckered lips, before he tightened his little arms around Cass’ neck and accepted her request for a kiss as well. He shimmied out of the bed and was off in a scamper down the hall.

“When are we going to tell them?” she whispered with sadness as she watched her son. As she felt her husband’s hand tuck her hair behind her ear.

“I want today to be one of happiness. For you and for them.” He thinks the twins would be able to understand he was leaving for a while. That they would be able to feel the ache in their chest at not seeing their father for months. Maybe longer. Lillian had just turned two. Her grasp of the world around was still taking shape. But there were medical appointments and chauvinistic doctors. 

John knew his wife was strong enough, their love for each other was more than strong enough, to survive his deployment to Korea. He just didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye to her or the little one growing inside of her. He was at his strongest in the presence of his family. 

“I want every day to be happy for us. But especially for them.” Cass had promised her children they would never not be with their family. That nothing would ever separate them and that is exactly what their mother and father had fought for. And now it was all unraveling. “Look at my first baby coming to see me because he knows I’m sad.” Butter came padding into their room with a sock monkey in his mouth. 

“No, he just knows I’m about to get out of bed and wants to take my spot.” Butter whined as if to ask if he could hurry up and do just that. They heard two sets of feet quickly patter down the stairs and smiled as their littlest one rubbed her eyes in their doorway. The stairs were a bit of a daunting task for her so she knew to ask for help. “Hi, ladybug.” John was quick to swing his legs onto the floor and pad over to his princess. 

“Does it look like she was scratching at her ear again?” Cass welcomed Butter onto the bed with a scratch to the top of his head. At her last doctor’s appointment, they had poked and prodded as they tried to find a comfortable hearing aid for her little ear. It had left her with even more discomfort than she normally walked around with and it broke Cass’ soul she couldn’t fix it. 

“It doesn’t look as red as it did yesterday.” John kissed the ear in question as he rested his daughter on his hip. She smiled and gripped the collar of his shirt tighter. “Should we go make sure Mommy has a breakfast that’s actually edible?” Cass melted as she watched him rub his nose against their daughter’s. Lillian was so attached to her parents, only ever at complete peace in their arms and seemingly feeling a little lost in navigating this loud and crazy world. The most rewarding gift she could have given her children was this man as their father. 

“We can’t miss mass either, John!” she called as he disappeared towards the sounds of giggling children and bowls clanging together. “What are the chances they don’t make my entire kitchen look like a warzone?” she asked Butter as she turned to kiss his nose. He looked at her as if to say zero.

----

“Penny, I love your coloring so much and it is so beautiful, but can we keep it on the paper and off the table?” Cass normally put paper or an old tablecloth under their paper when they were coloring to avoid this very issue but the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until it was too late. 

“Daddy, sing please!” Penelope asked with a smile as she looked up at John.

“Please!” Gale emphasized.

“Sing? What should we sing?” He was balancing Lily on his hip, her little hands occupied with the piece of fruit she was sucking on and refusing to eat, while grabbing pancake ingredients with one hand and monitoring the bacon crackling on the stovetop. 

“Twinkle star,” she offered as she got down from her chair and moved to the counter by her dad. 

“You want to start the song, lovey?” Penny wrapped her arms around John’s leg and hugged tightly as he struggled to measure the flour with two of his limbs occupied by cuddly babies. 

“Twinkle twinkle star,” she began singing with her toddler lisp glossing over some of the consonants in the words. 

“How I wonder what you are,” John continued as his son padded over to join in on use Dad as a jungle gym time, taking the empty leg for himself to match his twin. “Up above the world so high…” He looked down as the twins mumbled along to the song.

“Like a star in the sky,” they sang. He smiled at their new lyrics. Diamond was a hard word for them to pronounce. “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”

“How I wonder what you are!” He bopped his finger against Lilly’s nose as the song came to a close. “Excellent job, my loves.” 

“We help?” Gale asked as he was already moving his little stool so it was flush to the counter. 

“Stir very carefully,” John said as he offered the wooden spoon to his son. He switched the hip Lilly was resting on and dropped a kiss to the top of Gale’s head, checking in on Penny who was happy to stay wrapped around his leg like a monkey. “Should we add some chocolate?” 

“I love chocolate!” Penelope answered as she stood to try and peek at what her brother was doing. 

“Penny, careful,” Gale cautioned as he furrowed his brow with concentration at the task his father had given him. John smiled at the interaction as he offered Penelope a little bowl of just chocolate chips. 

“Don’t tell your mother,” his finger against his lips as if to seal in the secret.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she giggled as she scurried back to the table with her little treat. Lillian squeaked with delight as Butter came loping down the stairs to join in on the chaos and get closer to the smell of bacon. He sniffed at her feet as she laughed and reached to pet him. 

“There you go, ladybug.” John set her down and she was off towards the living room with her best friend in tow in search for his favorite basket of toys. “How we looking, Gale?”

“All done!” John gave it a quick stir to make sure everything was incorporated and gave his son an impressed nod when it looked perfect.

“Mommy’s going to love these,” he whispered as the little one smiled. 

“I love mommy.” 

“She loves you, too,” John slid the pan of bacon to the back of the stove and let Gale drop a pad of butter into a new pan, “and you know I love you a lot, right?” 

“This much?” Gale giggled as he spread his arms out wide. 

“This much,” John answered with a smile as he extended his own arms. He brought his arms around his son’s little body and squeezed as tightly as he could, kissing the side of his head. There was a happy screech from the living room, distinctly the sound of Lillian, that had both Egan boys turning their heads. “You want to check on your sister?” The twins were just as protective over their little sister as their parents were. John and Cass had done their best to explain to them she was a little different than the little siblings their friends have or even than they were as babies. That she needed a little extra love and attention sometimes. Cass had let the thoughts eat her alive that she wouldn’t be able to love the twins as much as they deserved if she was so focused on Lillian. John had assured her that her heart was big enough for the task.

“I be back!” John watched with a smile as his son ran off into the living room and felt his chest swell at the little humans he and his wife had created and were raising to be kind, loving and giving. It was these exact moments that had spurned his heart back to life on the back of the carriage in the German forest or when his stomach was cavernous and his nose felt like it was going to fall off in Stalag. He was on this earth to be a husband to his wife and a father to his children. 

“Daddy, more chocolate?” Penelope presented him an empty bowl with the evidence of her treat streaked across her cheeks and even a little on the pink of her pajamas. 

“Little lamb, how did you get a tiny bowl of chocolate chips all over you like this?” he asked as he crouched down to her height. 

“More, daddy? Please?” 

“I’ll put some in your pancakes, how about that?” 

“Smile face?” John had been known to try and turn his kids food into a smiley face whenever he had the chance. Most notably was Sunday morning pancakes with chocolate chips.

“Yes, baby, daddy’ll make your pancake into a smiley face.” Satisfied with his answer, she too ran off towards the room that held a fraction of her toys, her dog and her siblings. He thought about calling back for her so he could wipe her face and hide the evidence from his wife but he could already hear giggling and thought it best to leave it be. 

Of course his three kids were an absolute handful, he doesn’t know how their nanny did this by herself everyday or how Cass managed at night before he got home, but he had never felt as fulfilled as he did in the moments with them. When he had gotten the orders to Korea, it was missing these moments that made his heart stop. Missing Gale and Penelope’s musicals they put on with their stuffed animals most nights. Missing guidance from doctors on how to help Lillian still hit milestones and reach her full potential in this life. Missing the sight of Cass’ smile and the way she mumbled in her sleep and how she fiddled with her wedding band when she was reading. 

The United States Air Force was a bitch of a mistress.

----

John had every intention of bringing her breakfast in bed and snuggling as a family under the covers. But Gale had spilled the orange juice on his way up the stairs and Butter had stolen a strip of bacon from the plate while he was trying to clean up and Penny had already picked chocolate chips out of two pancakes before he realized it might have been too noble of an intention. 

“What have we got going on down here?”

“Mommy!” It was a chorus of loving children as Cass appeared at the top of the stairs like an angel. She tiptoed around a defeated John and welcomed all three of them in for a hug as she reached them. 

“Did my little loves help Daddy make breakfast?” The twins nodded and Lillian crawled into her lap, her ear dropping to her mother’s chest and smiling at the feeling of her heartbeat instantly. “Let’s go set the table so we can enjoy it.” 

“I’ll meet you guys over there,” John sighed as he was picking up ripped pieces of pancake from the stairs.

Just like the goddess he always knew she was, Cass had the kids cleaning up coloring supplies, setting placemats and settling into their wooden booster seats all while they hummed Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star again. He watched silently as she wet a napkin and wiped Penelope’s giggling face and helped Gale cut his breakfast into smaller pieces and took extra care to make sure Lillian was comfortable with her miniature fork. “I’m sorry, baby, we were supposed to be waiting on you, not the other way around.” 

“I’d rather dote on the little doves that made me a mother today.” She fell against him with ease, his lips against hers quickly. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“You haven’t even eaten it yet. It could be disgusting.” 

“The lack of Egan jabbering coming from the table due to their eating of it leads me to believe it can’t be that bad.” Cass pressed onto her toes to kiss John the way she always did when they got to talking about their babies. Like she wanted another one promptly. It was how the current Egan in her belly got there. 

“Since when is their jabbering from me? You’re the one who sweet talks people for a living.” He fisted her nightgown as he tried to restrain himself against the efforts her tongue was making with his. “And so successfully I might add, baby. So good at being my little Spook.”

“John Clarence Egan,” she squeezed his cheeks into his chin with one hand, “stop with that bedroom voice. We have no time-”

“Oh, Cass, I don’t need that much time,” he sniped back with that grin that normally made her knees fall open. 

“Mommy, Daddy, sit!” Penelope pointed at the empty chairs they normally sat in, her face covered in even more chocolate than it was before. 

“What do we say when we ask someone for something?”

“Please!” she answered. Cass kissed the top of her head and sat down across from her as John carried over two plates. 

“Thank you, baby,” she kissed his arm as it reached in front of her. 

“Mama!” Cass smiled as Lillian called for her attention and reached out her arms. It wasn’t very often she tried to speak and it made her heart soar whenever she did. Even more so when she used her voice to call for her parents.

“Yes, my sweet girl, I’m right here.” She brought her into her lap and swallowed back tears as John looked at them with a sad smile. “I’ll always be right here. I promise.” Cass buried her nose in Lillian's hair and breathed deeply as John held her hand on top of the table.

“Daddy, too?” Gale asked quietly as he paused his eating. 

“I’m always, always, going to do everything I can to be with you.” He squeezed his wife’s hand tighter.

“Okay, Daddy!” Satisfied with the answer, and not understanding the true sentiment behind John’s words, Gale was focused on his fork and making it sound like a plane. 

Cass did her best to smile the rest of breakfast. She snuck some bacon under the table for Butter. Bounced Lilly on her knee while she laughed. Felt her sides hurt with joy as John mimed eating the chocolate off of Penelope’s cheeks. It was exactly the kind of family she had always wanted to build. One of pure love and happiness. One that didn’t feel like it needed to be molded in some kind of high society pressure. One where her kids would always know she loved them. Where they would always know their parents loved each other. 

“Alright, monkeys, let’s go upstairs so we can get changed for church.” The twins groaned like teenagers trapped in toddler bodies, Penelope dramatically going limp in John’s lap while Gale dropped his forehead to the table. “Hey, we said today was Mommy’s day right? So we agreed to do whatever Mommy wanted?” 

“No church, Daddy.” To them it meant stockings and sitting quietly and there were the Carter kids that they despised seeing. 

“For me?” Cass asked with a pout. It worked on their father. Maybe it would work on them. Penny looked to her dad.

“Do it for Mama,” he whispered like it was a secret just between them. Penelope relented with a nod and after a kiss to the top of her head from John was off his lap and holding her brother’s hand to scurry up the stairs. 

“You want to help them while I clean all this up?” He was already standing from the table and gathering plates. 

“I’m going to find a way to get us to Japan.” John froze and turned back to look at his wife, her focus on Lillian. “I’m not letting anything separate this family. Not even another war.” He set the plates in the sink and moved to crouch at her side, tucking her hair behind her ear and noticed the way she was shaking with the strength it took to not break down. 

“Cass, baby, nothing ever will separate us. Even if I am physically far away, you know my heart is always with you five.” 

“Last time…last time…” Lilly squeaked as her mother pressed her into her chest. Cass so rarely thought about Germany. Used all her compartmentalization skills to keep the years without John shoved away. Her time at the camp and their journey to make it out of there tucked away even further. She had always been adamant that misfortune only befell them when they were apart. When the distance allowed the malevolent spirits to find their way in. 

“Hey, ladybug, come here.” John gently pried Cass’ hands from around their daughter and set her on the ground. “Butter!” The hound came trotting when he heard his name. He whined at the sight of Cass and the state she was in. 

“Mama?” Lillian tilted her head and reached back for her mother with curiosity. Understanding why John had called him, Butter distracted her with a lick to her cheeks and she was giggling at the dog instantly. He gently nudged her until she was toddling out of the kitchen and he followed after her. 

“Talk to me, Spook. Tell me what’s rattling around that gorgeous mind.” John cupped her cheek so he could look her in the eyes. 

“I had the worst two years of my life because I wasn’t with you. I was hopeless and lifeless and had no purpose without you, John. I’m so afraid that when you leave, I’ll go right back to that place and I have those three I have to be brave for and this little one and oh, God, they’re going to come while you’re gone and I can’t-” Her head was tucked under his chin in an instant as the sobs racked through her body. 

“Breathe, baby, breathe. I’ve got you.” Cass had gotten so good at tucking her emotions into a little box that she kept in a dark and tiny corner of her heart. It had been years since the memories inspired a breakdown such as this. “If you and the kids moving to Japan is going to fix that ache, then we’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way. Just like we always do.” 

“I don’t want this to weigh on you. Just give me a minute and I’ll be fine.” She pushed off his chest and stood on shaky legs. 

“Cass…” he reached for her but she didn’t grab his hand. He recognized the glazed look to her eyes. It was the same she had the previous few times the ghosts of the past had come to haunt her. It was Central Intelligence Agency Cassandra Egan taking the reins. Urging the version of her that felt too hard and too deeply to let go of the wheel and let the cold as stone version take control. “Cass, baby, don’t do this. Don’t run from your emotions. Don’t shut me out.”

“Mommy! I need help!” Penelope’s voice called from the top of the stairs. 

“I’ll be right there, little love!” She turned to look at John who looked like he was going to stay exactly where he was until she crawled back in his lap and worked through this with him. “I’m not running and I’m not shutting you out. Now’s just not the right time.” 

“When will be the right time?” He wasn’t going to let her say the things he wanted to hear and get away with no following through. 

“Tonight? You, me and our pillows?” It was where their most important conversations seemed to be had. The place where they could relax and breathe and touch each other and whisper softly and kiss each other through whatever problems arose. They had yet to find a problem they couldn’t kiss their way through.

“I’ll be there.”

----

Gale and Penelope held their mother’s hand tightly as they walked out of the church, anxiously awaiting the lollipop their father normally handed to them once they hit the sidewalk if they had behaved. Penelope had done her best to not plug her ears at the sound of the organ and Gale had only stuck his tongue out at Jeffery Carter once and his mother hadn’t even noticed. 

“Alright. Good little lambs lollipop time.” John dropped Lillian to her feet and squatted to be at the same height of his cheering children. “One for each of you.”

“Thank you, Daddy!” the twins said in unison. 

“Give me a kiss.” They giggled as they each pressed their sticky lips to his cheeks. 

“Oh, Cass! It’s so good to see you! Happy Mother’s Day!” Grace Carter. Self-proclaimed Queen of Great Falls, Virginia. 

“Grace, it’s good to see you.” Cass greeted her politely. “Happy Mother’s Day yourself.” She was acutely aware of her twins staring daggers at the two Carter boys. She gathered them against her legs and smoothed her hand over their hair. 

“Lieutenant Colonel Egan, you always look dashing in your Sunday best.” Cass gathered her breath before Grace became acquainted with her right hook. 

“Thank you, ma’am. How are you doing, Adam?” he reached to shake his hand firmly before settling Lillian back on his hip and kissing his wife on the side of the head.

“I’m good, John, nice to see you.” For all the women that fawned over John Egan, much to the nearly violent chagrin of his wife, the husbands were never worried. No one in Great Falls or Charleston or Europe had ever seen him look at a woman that wasn’t his wife. 

It incensed the local gossipers that he only ever seemed to be a devoted, attentive husband and father. He had been seen taking the twins to a park by himself, the horror. Seen picking them up from preschool instead of the nanny and while his wife was at work, the scandal. And the absolute most incredibly inappropriate display of Lieutenant Colonel John Egan handling a temper tantrum on the sidewalk of Walker Street with soft words and an understanding tone. Not a scream or a yell or a rough hand to avoid the prying eyes. Ghastly. 

“Well, we best get going.” Cass smiled in the way that John knew meant she was moments from kicking someone’s ass, her hands pivoting the twins away and towards the car.

“Cass, will we be seeing you at the school’s bake sale Wednesday afternoon?” 

“No, Grace. I’ll be at work.” That was another thing the local gossips loved to make a topic of conversation. The fact that Mrs. Cassandra Egan worked. That she wasn’t at every bake sale or auction but somehow always managed when it was a recital or art show. They were annoyed she had priorities and boundaries and enforced them and had a partner who seemed to do everything with her in perfect tandem. They never worked against each other, always rowing in the same direction. 

“Such a shame you always have to work. Especially in your condition. You really should be resting.” John felt the air turn cold and tightened his grip around his daughter, his other arm wrapping around his wife’s waist and resting on top of their precious bump. 

“And what condition might that be? The blessing of another child?” He knew where her mind was going. The acrid comments from doctors that somehow Cass was to blame for Lillian’s deafness. That she hadn’t taken enough care of herself during her pregnancy or rode her horse one too many times or that having twins had ruined her birth canal and damaged their daughter during birth. “I could only hope to be in this condition more often than not, Grace. I mean, you said it yourself. My husband looks so dashing in his Sunday best.” 

----

A long afternoon of lollipops and the sprinkler in the backyard and babies falling asleep around the outdoor fire with chocolate on their cheeks, turned into a slow night of baths and bedtime stories and lullabies as Cass tucked the blanket around Gale’s tiny frame.

“Mommy?” he asked groggily as she was just about to close the door.

“Yes, little love?” Cass padded back to his bedside and gently knelt down to look at his precious face, cheek squished against his pillow and stuffed animal tucked under his chin.

“I love you.”

“I love you so much, my baby. So very, very much.” She stroked his cheek gently and kissed his forehead.

“Stay together forever,” he mumbled as his eyes grew heavy and he drifted into dream land. Cass held her breath as she watched peace settle over him. Peace that their family would remain intact and together. Forever. 

“I’ll do everything in my power, baby, I promise.” She gently pushed his curls off his forehead and pressed a kiss to the skin there, sealing in her promise. 

Cass closed the door as gently as she could and rested her own forehead against the wood to steady her breathing for a moment. For someone who prided themselves in keeping their emotions at bay, she was having a hard time breathing against the waves crashing against her. She knew she was stronger than this. Knew that her relationship with her husband and his bond with their kids was capable of withstanding any test that was thrown at them. The point was that Cass thought she had passed enough tests for the universe to give her a break. That she had earned a modicum of normalcy in waking up next to her husband every morning and both of them raising their babies together every day. What more did they want from her in order to give her that? Cass wasn’t sure she had much left to give them.

“Gale fall asleep before you even made it out the door?” John asked as he was arranging the pillows the way he knew his wife liked. “I didn’t even have to read to little ladybug, she practically fell asleep before I even got her pajamas on her.”

“For all the sugar he consumed today, yes, he fell right asleep. Penny is probably still awake making flashlight puppets.” Ever since John had used the flashlight and his hand to act out a scene from her favorite bedtime story, Penelope had been working to perfect her craft. More than once she had been caught by her parents in the middle of the night. 

“Just the fact that we created humans amazes me but the fact that they have imaginations and dreams and personalities…learning who they are is never going to get old to me,” John mused. He walked around the bed and tried to bring Cass into his arms but she was already crawling onto the bed and sliding herself under the blankets. “You’re not going to let me hold you, baby?” He looked dejected as he stood there with his arms open like he was still expecting her to fall into them. 

“I need that big brain of yours to help me work through some problems, Lieutenant Colonel.” She patted his pillow next to her for emphasis. He smiled wickedly and leaned down to kiss her, crawling over her body until she was horizontal across the bed. “I love when you look at me like that. Like you can read me and understand without me having to verbalize it to you.”

“Because I can, Spook,” he hummed. His lips dropped to hers once, twice, three times before his eyes were right back on hers. “You scare me when you shut down like you did earlier, Cass. You have to let yourself feel things in order to work through them.”

“I feel things when I’m with you. When I’m with our kids. It’s the feeling of not being with you and us all not being together that I want to avoid.” His finger drifted down her cheek and left a pleasant tingle in its wake. 

“It’s not forever, baby. With those three and one on the way and Butter, you will be so busy you won’t even realize I’m gone.” She sat up and held John’s face between his hands. 

“Please tell me you don’t think that’s true. There will always be a hole in my chest whenever you aren’t near.”

“I know. I’m just trying to find the right words to say to soothe your ache, Cass.” She leaned down and kiss him gently. Conveying all of her love, or as much as her human form could summon, letting herself melt under his gaze. 

“There’s a position in Tokyo. Mary told me about it a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been holding back on asking for it because of our little ones. All four of them.” Her hands fell to her pregnant belly and John rested his cheek on top of them. “I’m scared to fly with them that long and I’m scared of my choices fucking with another one of our-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Cass. You did nothing wrong when it comes to Lillian. You carried her and provided for her and were put here on this earth to be exactly the mother that you are to her.” John wasn’t ashamed at the level of anger he had shown the doctors that had tried to pin this on his wife. Wasn’t ashamed that he had almost throttled them through the exam room door. She smiled through her tears and combed her fingers through his curls. 

“See? I need you.”

“We need each other.” She nodded in agreement. 

“And we’ll always have each other. We’ll always make sure of it.”

As she kissed John in the warmth of the lamplight, the ache in her chest was soothed but not solved. She had a plan percolating in her mind on how to do so but fears that were acting as barriers towards diving in. It was uncharted water for her. Unsure of her choices and calculating the ripple of implications they would have on her children instead of just herself or an operation. It was the first time there may be a conflict between her desires as a wife and her desires as a mother. Ultimately, she would be the only one able to reconcile them.

But there were a few things she would always know for certain. Firstly, that John Egan loved her and she loved him. Second, that she loved every inch of all of her children and always would, for all time. Third, that she had fought tooth and nail for the life that she currently had and nothing would ever be worth losing it for.

Lastly, Cassandra Ann Egan knew that she deserved happiness. And fulfillment. And peace. She had fought a war to find the stable ground she was sitting on and supposed she would fight another one to maintain it. To protect it. To preserve her little corner of the world that darkness was not allowed to touch. 

They’d have to get through her first. And she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

[bandagesandloveletters]

Could you please write a drabble or headcanons where Rosie and you are parents to a one-year-old child, and for the first time in a year, you have a weekend to yourselves where you can be together as a couple after such a long time. You can finally have sex and be as loud as you want, but actually, your definition of a weekend together doesn’t include sex. Instead, all you want to do is be hella lazy, sleep, and eat because you’re tired!

Nonny, this is so tender and I adore this :) Reminder, my requests are wide open and I adore spam! I go back to work tomorrow and then I start prepping for my surgery on the 21st and I'm a bit nervous, so any type of asks are a welcome distraction :) So keep sending them in haha!

More under the cut, cut for length:

-Listen, I think that this man is the epitome of patience and kindness in human form

-So if the occasion comes up that you two, both being sleep-deprived and exhausted from parenting, work, and other responsibilities, have the opportunity to go away for just the two of you, you're both gonna jump on that so quickly

-Perhaps it's that his parents or your parents are coming into town and they want to have some time with their grandbaby

-So they pay for you two to go away to a cabin for the weekend

-And oh hon, it's STRANGE being away from the baby for the first time

-Like, yes, you two are madly in love and you're devoted and adore one another

-But parenting is a whole other ballgame when it comes to a relationship and so it's just weird suddenly not having to worry about the baby and having it just go back to being the two of you and what you want to do

-And maybe the initial thought is about sex and how you two can finally just relax and have uninterrupted mind-blowing sex (several times, I might add)

-But the minute that you actually get to the cabin? Flopping onto the bed and taking the best nap of your life—and he's included in this

-He's all too pleased to just sink into the bed and hold onto you like a damn koala and not have any crying babies or anyone who needs his attention besides you

-So it becomes the most self-care focused weekend

-This man is PAMPERING you

-Because yes, parenting is hard on both of the parents

-But mother's especially? They deserve a little praise and attention for all of the stuff that they do that goes unnoticed or without thanks

-And Rosie strikes me as the type of person who wants you to know how much he truly truly appreciates you

-So whether it be through drawing baths or helping you bathe, cooking your food while you have a catnap in the sun, reading to you while you're trying to rest, or slow-dancing to music, this man is going to deliver on those gestures of love and appreciation

-Additionally, if you're too tired for being participative in sex...well, he's got some remedies for that and he's more than happy to do all the work while he pleasures the hell out of you so you can just relax haha

[bandagesandloveletters]

It is my first time writing anything to anyone, and I’m a bit nervous. I’ve been reading super bullets non-stop. It is just too good. I saw your prompt list and I thought that I needed to know more about the characters. Could you please write about Judy and Rosie?

P.S. Sorry if it’s a long list, I got too excited! Love you 😍

1st prompt list Touch

2.running fingers through hair

16. massaging them

34. washing the other’s body( me trying to be naughty 😆)

22. falling asleep on the other’s shoulder

2nd prompt list OTP

20. “Why do you insist on misunderstanding me?”

24. “Don’t say that to me. That’s not fair.”

30. “Leave me alone.” 

“Is that really what you want?” 

21. “Then take me with you.”

3rd prompt list Subtle Love

21.sharing their food with the other

7.giving the other their space, knowing they need it

8.enjoying the sound of the other's voice

9. distracting the other when they see they're distressed and close to freaking out

HEY ANON!!! thanks so much for sending this in! and apologizes for the time it took to get to it! finals week was stressful and now that i finally have time, i was excited to get to this! thank you for the variety of prompts you sent!!! it gave me a ton of options (which truly thank you, your excitement made my day to see!) i went with 8. enjoying the sound of the other's voice, which i found to work best!! i truly hope you enjoy! <3 (and as a first time, you did lovely! thank you more than anything for stopping by <3)

through the war

(a/n): a look into the early days of judy x rosie for those who want to get more flak house rosie and judy hehe!!! this is an idea i've had for some time and i think it finally fit here!!! :D i really loved this prompt and the way the writing went, more subtle at times, but really showing rosie and judy's connection in a way i loved! thank you and enjoy!

Sun-kissed and water-soaked skin were the highlight of the late morning as Carrie hung over the front side of the boat, absolutely losing her mind on Pappy in the other wooden excuse for a canoe, who was leaned back, splashing water over towards her as they cruised by one another.

"Fighters 12:00, Pauli!" Carrie yelled from the front of the boat, looking back over her shoulder towards both Paulina, in the back of the boat and Judy in the middle, "Get 'em good!" Laughter ensued as the three of them passed the boat from Rosie's Riveters, Pappy Lewis in the back splashing with all his might at them, and Paulina splashing back.

"Get 'em, girls!" cheers from the bank called, a few of the other women from Silver Bullets enjoying the friendly competition between the two B-17 groups that had gotten reprieve at the flak house. Carrie maneuvered the boat around a bit and looked back at the two women. Judy caught her gaze with a grin and watched as Carrie shifted her weight, leaning the boat a hard right as it spun.

"We're gonna hit 'em where it hurts, got that?" Carrie said, and Paulina mocked a salute as Judy let out a delighted cheer, a 'whoop-whoop' following, "Pappy Lewis we're coming for your head!"

"Not as long as I'm here!" Bailey yelled back at them, the boat nearing, splashing ensuing - only to end in the hard rock of Rosie's Riveters against Silver Bullets, enough for the boat to flop sideways and the three girls to go crashing into the water. Judy's body struggled a bit beneath the harsh suffocation of the cool river water, but she pushed herself to the surface, coming into an atmosphere of laughter, light and cheers. A smile crossed her face as she squinted her eyes open and found Carrie and Paulina in her field of view, Rosie's Riveters in the back, making way towards them.

"We'll get them next time," Carrie said with a laugh, running a wet hand down her face as she blew air from her cheeks and grinned, cheeks glowing red from laughter, "you have my permission to go as deranged as you please, Judy."

"On it." Judy said with a chuckle as the boat came over towards them and Bailey, Milburn and Lewis were offering their hands forward to pull them up.

"Got you there, Bergie," Bailey said as he and Milburn pulled up Carrie first, before reaching down for Judy.

"If I didn't have Pappy in my ear earlier making bets, then maybe we woulda won, asshole." Carrie said as Judy grabbed hold of Bailey and Milburn's hands and they pulled her up and out of the water and into the boat, laughing. Paulina was pulled up and let out a chuckle as she collapsed on the seat beside Bailey.

"I call rematch!" Paulina yelled as the boat burst into laughter.

Judy slowly glanced over her shoulder and up the embankment a bit, past where Annie was lounged up, aviators on, snoozing with Frank, the orange cat, by her side, and Marianne laughing with Margie and Kennedy by her side, and focused instead on Rosie Rosenthal. Her heart warmed the slightest bit at the gentle look of him - the loose blue button-up, the book in his hands, how relaxed he looked, sitting there up with the dazzling haze of the morning-blue sky and the glowing green of the trees and the grass around him. Suddenly, she wanted to be sitting right there next to him.

"Hey, you guys go on for another round, I'll sit this one out," Judy said, wringing some water from her hair with a graceful smile to the group, "might head in for lunch soon."

"You sure, Rybinski?" Pappy asked, "We could switch up the teams, I'll make you team lead?" Judy smiled and shook her head.

"It's all good, you guys have fun," she said, reaching the edge of the boat and flipping herself into the water and dunking herself under, the coolness of the water soaking her warmed skin. Coming up above the water, she looked up at the group and grinned.

"Carrie and Pauli? Make 'em pay, alright?" Judy said as she began swimming away, hearing the 'rah-rah' cheers from Carrie and Paulina, splashes following. Judy swam to the shoreline and then pulled herself from the water before heading over to the group on the grass.

"Looking great out there, Jude," Margie said with a smile, "I'd hate to be on the opposite side of that." Judy let out a laugh as Kennedy passed her a towel to which she wrapped quickly around herself and smiled, wiping water from her eyes.

"Well, I think Carrie and Pauli are gonna get 'em back pretty well off, so," she said looking at the group there, "you're all in for a treat."

"Where you going?" Marianne asked Judy as she wrapped the towel closer and stepped towards the hill. Judy's cheeks flushed and she bit back her lip.

"Saying hi to Lieutenant Rosenthal." Judy said quickly, "He finally looks relaxed, ya know?"

"He was asking where you were earlier, Judy," Annie said from her place on the towel, a smile on her face, where her hand was lazily petting Frank, "he'll be happy to see you."

"Have fun, Judy!" a few calls came as Judy smiled to them and headed up towards Rosie. Her heart began to pound a little bit more, the cool, late morning breeze making goosebumps run up over her skin, to the point where she realized she was in nothing but skin-slick shorts and a tank top, with a towel overtop going up to Lieutenant Rosenthal. Her cheeks heated as she looked up, watching him reading and looking near-picturesque against the backdrop of beauty that was the world around them.

"Hey."

Judy tossed herself from her reverie and found Rosie looking up from his book, squinting a bit in the sunlight, a small smile on his face. Her cheeks heated further as she stood there, hair tangled and wet, her cheeks red, the towel covering what she could and her eyes on his.

"Hi." she said quickly - slightly breathlessly at that, "Was wondering what you were up to." Rosie smiled that grin that got her heart pounding and then closed his book and watched her with those soft, baby-blue eyes.

"Figured I'd do a bit of light reading while I had the time," Rosie said, and she didn't miss the look he seemed to give her - admittedly trying to avoid looking at her more-than-bare-legs, his own cheeks dusting a glorious pink as he met her gaze again, "you? Or I could well….guess instead." And he nodded to her with that towel wrapped around as closely to her body as she could get it. She let out a laugh and instinctively went to cover her mouth and looked at him from behind the towel. They watched each other and Judy was sure he could see every inch of her the way he watched her, enough to make her warm all over.

"Your boys sure know how to have some fun," she said quietly, unable to control her smile towards him as she showed him her grin again, "and it reminds me of home. The creek, the water, the sun." You, she wanted to say, but that silent thought got bogged down by everything else around her. Rosie watched her, his smile growing on his lips like the setting sun.

"That they do," he said, his own voice sounding slightly constrained - breathless a bit like her, "would you like to sit?" With me?, seemed to be the silent question on his lips, but he didn't even need to ask. She would've given any time of day.

"Yeah, thank you." she said, with another smile towards him, before stepping forward, the grass itching her feet, as she turned and settled beside him on the towel he had rolled out. Judy pulled the towel tighter as she did crisscross-applesauce, and then glanced over at Rosie on her left side and smiled at his already persistent and present gaze on her.

"Whatcha reading?" she asked him softly, the pleasant noise of life and joy in the background of their quiet bubble there, side by side, her eyes finding his again as she leaned closer to his warm form.

"Of Mice and Men." Rosie said, holding up the book and showing her the cover, "Definitely a heavier read than some other things I've read, but it's good. You might like it. Listen, when I finish up, I'll lend it to you." Judy looked at him and smiled.

"Thanks, Rosie," she said softly, the instant his name left her lips, the corners of his lips perked upwards in a glorious display of his smile and his crinkly eyes when he grinned, "how are you liking it here?" Rosie watched her for a moment, and then looked down, before glancing towards the water where another round was ensuing of this game they had been playing - back and forth, splashing, laughter, freedom.

"Sometimes I just wish I was getting into that cockpit again," Rosie said, looking back over at her, "I don't know, just…it was simple, straightforward. It was mission, after mission, day after day. I was in a flow. A rhythm." Judy watched as he ran a hand over his face and dropped his rather broad shoulders a bit.

"But then I look at the men." Rosie said with a nod, and then glanced at her, "They need this." Judy watched him, his face a golden-honey hue, his eyes so deep and dark and distant all at once, and she nodded.

"They do," she said quietly, "we all do. You do, too."

Rosie was an enigma to her in a way other people had never been; so quiet at times, selfless, someone who wanted to get the job done, but didn't give himself time to rest. And in an opportunity like this, where that was the only option, he was mulling on thoughts of flying again. Despite not knowing him long, he was someone she found herself looking to a lot more often these days. And the selfless need to worry over him was something to follow.

He watched her for a moment, as if trying to believe her that yes, he and his boys needed rest just like the rest of them and yes, this all wasn't normal, but maybe for a second they could act like it and yes, for once they can focus on one another instead of a war in the sky. Rosie watched her for a moment and then smiled at her, and her cheeks bloomed red in a way she knew she couldn't stop.

"Plus," she said quietly, offering him another grin, "this is a good look for you." Rosie broke out in a bit of laughter at her mix between a joke and a compliment, but he took it all the same and nodded.

"You too." he said, but then they both seemed to freeze at his words, the casual phrase you normally said back after a compliment - the realization of what she was wearing seemed to strike both of them at the same time as a jumble of words left both their mouths, ending in nervous laughter and eye-catching gazes.

"What I meant to say was," he said, leaning an elbow on his upbent knee and a hand to his cheek as he looked at her again, "this. Being here. It looks normal for you. It looks good on you." Well if that didn't make her blush like a tomato she wasn't sure what would. But she nodded, and smiled a bit up at him.

"I practically grew up outside. When I was a kid, I mean. All of us, we were always outside. In the creek, with the animals on the farm, climbing trees, hiking," Judy said, "in a way, it reminds me of home being here. Being away from the war for a bit." She nodded. "Can't sleep well, but I guess for the time being that's okay, because I'm not in a ball turret and getting shot at." Rosie's face had grown serious and he watched her like the most delicate thing in the world was in front of him. He always looked so serious back at base that to see that same look cross his features nearly shot her back to that ball turret on the last mission.

"I haven't been sleeping too well either, if I'm being honest," he said quietly to her, then laughed a bit, "it sounds childish, but, I don't know. My mind's just running circles." Judy stared at him. She felt like for once, someone was experiencing what she felt nearly all the time. Constant running. Never-ending.

"Do you ever think it's like you're in some dream and that you'll wake up from it all one day?" she asked him, watching as he slowly nodded and turned to her.

"Sometimes." he said, "But then I go back and think, and I wonder how different things would be if all this wasn't going on. If, uh….well." Rosie looked to her and smiled slightly.

"To say the least, I wouldn't have met some of the people I've met here and I don't know if I'd be okay with that in whatever other world that would be." he said with a laugh and she smiled at him, "And if we're going to get back to any sort of semblance of life again, outside of this, like this, then we have to keep fighting back in this world, to keep it."

Judy looked up at him, and couldn't help but let her eyes traverse his face; eyes catching on how beautiful his long lashes were and how lively yet soft his eyes appeared underneath them, his solid cheekbones and jaw line, the slope of his neck dipping beneath his shirt, his hands and….Judy had to blink herself out of her wandering thoughts and instead ran a hand through her slowly drying hair that was sure to be a tangled mess and looked to him.

"One day we'll get the world back to that," Judy said, "and hey, maybe we can….I don't know, I can sit in the cockpit for once and experience what it's like? I can….be eye level with the birds instead of sticking out of the belly of the plane. Enjoy the sunset without knowing we're dropping bombs."

"I'll take you up on that." Rosie said, coming into her peripheral and leaning into her side a bit, his hand finding it's way to her shoulder half covered by a towel and half not, "Flying. You and me. When this whole thing is over and there's nothing left for us in England. I'll fly you home. You can be my co-pilot." Judy watched him, her heart pounding in her ears as her eyes searched his.

"You're too kind, Rosie, you don't have to…."

"No, no, I'll take you up on it. My promise to…I don't know, get us through the war." Us, Judy thought quietly.

Us through the war.

Judy stared at him fully this time, her entire mind consumed by him sitting there beside her, saying these things and making her feel all kinds of ways. Listening to his voice and expecting to act like it was nothing that he was talking as sweetly as he was to her. It was almost too much; these feelings, these emotions, someone felt nearly aligned with in life, yet the bulge of war was smack-dab in the center of it all. Judy brought the towel up to rub down her face and then sighed again.

"You okay?" Rosie asked her, placing his…very equally comforting and warm hand on her back, above the towel, "You went a little quiet." Judy looked at him, her heart pounding - even a simple acknowledgment of her quietness and she was spinning. Her mind scattered.

"Yes," she said quickly, a smile darting out, "all good, all good, just….." Mind, think, please, "thinking about lunch. Yes. Heard they were having a roast. Reminds me of home." With that, Judy stood to her feet and turned to Rosie, shivering slightly still, face and lips most definitely red, her hair a mess, her legs…..there.

Exposed.

And Rosie.

There.

Staring up at her.

"I don't want to bother your reading anymore, so," Judy said, "I'll see you around, Rosie." She turned and looked over her shoulder, and with a burst of boldness.

"Come and look for me if you ever want to talk!" Judy's face was beat red the entire rest of the way down the hill.

And Rosie was left - stunned. And smiling.

[bandagesandloveletters]

Chapter 4 (Mastermind)—MOTA Fic

A/N: i don't particularly want to post on mother's day, so I'm updating a day early so I can get this out here to you all. Go check out my poll please :) I'm about to write some Abe content and I'm SO excited to get him in the story haha! As always, let me know what you all think and enjoy!

Early June 1943

Ruth glanced between the sweating private, the ticked major, and the way that Colonel Huglin shifted in his seat uncomfortably.  The court martial had continued on through the morning with both the private and the major pleading their cases and defending their decisions.  Currently though, it seemed both she and Huglin were suffering from headaches at the way that the major wanted Private Weston to be punished. 

It was unreasonable punishment to dock a month’s pay in addition to cleaning in the kitchens and assisting the ground crew with some repairs.  It was a gross exaggeration to the crime that had been committed—though Ruth was starting to understand why Weston had first punched Major Monson in the first place.  

Never one to condone violence lightly, as far as Ruth could tell, Monson had been the aggressor in the situation and Weston had responded in kind.  God, these military types were all the same with their egos and the way that they were just asking to get punched in the face . 

There was only one time where Ruth had punched a man, and it had been in her freshman year of law school at Brooklyn Law.  She was one of three girls in her class and upon entry into the class shared with Robby Rosenthal, one of the other students began to make some demeaning comments about the way that the girls should have been at home and trying to take care of the kids and the families or something. 

Rosenthal—being the bleeding heart that he was—had verbally defended the girls.  But Ruth didn’t need him defending her and she certainly didn’t want or appreciate his help.  Women had always stood on their own and the best way to get back at jackasses like this guy was to simply prove him wrong. 

Her moral high ground had gone out the door the minute that he had mentioned how he wanted to sink himself in her breasts.  That had been when Ruth had punched him square in the nose and broken it .  And considering it was all before the professor had entered the classroom and her warning him that no one would ever believe him, Ruth had spent the rest of the year in quiet infamy for her deed.  

Rising to her feet and contemplating further punching Monson, Ruth knew that an act like that would only end in disaster.  And her nails were perfectly painted in Victory Red at the moment, so chipping them over someone like him wasn’t really worth her time. 

“Weston will take kitchen duty and assist the ground crews for a month.  But docking a man a month’s pay when he’s got a wife back home seems especially cruel for something that didn’t end in any permanent damage,” Ruth said coolly.  “A more serious infraction such as destruction of United States Military property might warrant such an act, but I don’t believe this does.  Colonel?” 

Colonel Huglin seemed pleased with the way she had weaved her words, leaving Monson stuttering and jaw nearly dropped.  “I agree.  Case dismissed.” 

Ruth gave a cold smirk in Monson’s direction.  “And I’d be a bit more careful about your alcohol intake, Major.  All sorts of mistakes and infractions can happen when one is inebriated.” With that, she gave a salute and waited for Huglin’s dismissal of the other men. 

Once Monson and a grateful Weston were gone, Huglin just leaned back in his chair, giving a deep sigh.  “I wish all of our cases were as quick as that.” 

“Oh give it a week, sir,” Ruth insisted.  “Once they’re more familiar with my breed of court martialing, I doubt they’ll want to spend long with me.” 

A dry smile quirked at Huglin’s lips.  “I’m sure.  I heard you already made an impression at the pubs concerning the fraternization rule?” 

“I’m working on it, sir,” Ruth assured him.  “Things like that tend to be a little more under the rug than other infractions.” 

“I’m assuming you have experience?” 

“Too much, given my time in Aldbourne, sir.” From her bag, Ruth withdrew a packet and handed it over to him.  “And these are my disciplinary recommendations for the other men who are undergoing court martials.” 

“All of them?” 

“There were only seven cases and I’m a quick reader.” 

Huglin stared at her for a moment, taking in the efficiency and zeal with which she exacted justice.  Lieutenant Sharpe was nothing if not a credit to her profession and clearly someone who he could use to whip this base into the best shape it could be.  He had half a mind to have her infiltrate the ranks of those instigators and those who faithfully kept on gaining infractions.  

If only to see their faces when they realized that she was catching them in the act of infractions and had the authority to order them to court martials herself. 

“I’m sure we’ll find more for you to do once the new recruits arrive,” Huglin finally stated. “You’re dismissed.” 

“Thank you, sir.” 

“And Sharpe?” 

“Yes?” 

“Good work today.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Ruth made her way into the mess hall for a late breakfast, she found that there were a scattering of people around the room, only a few of which she knew the names of.  Ruth hadn’t gotten very far with her tray of toast and oatmeal—finding her way to an empty table, she was quiet as she sat down, hoping for some peace and quiet after her eventful court case this morning. 

Before she could so much as pray over her food, Bucky Egan had slid up onto the bench across from her.  “You’re up late,” he remarked pointedly. 

Ruth just placed her napkin in her lap and gave him a stare of annoyance.  “I’ve been up since everyone else has.  Huglin and I had a case.” 

“Wow, you’re really great at making friends,” Bucky said dryly.  

“I’m not here to make friends, Egan,” Ruth retorted, stabbing her spoon into the oatmeal.  “If I wanted to make friends, I would have stayed back in New York and joined a sewing circle.  Is there a reason why you’re here to bother me?” 

“Actually yes,” Bucky said, tearing off a piece of her toast before she could swat his hand away.  He grinned triumphantly at her, an almost smug expression on his face.  “I’m here because my boys are flying in this morning and I’m hoping you’ll cut them some slack on their first day.” 

“And you thought that stealing my toast was a good winning point?” Ruth raised a brow. 

He abruptly dropped the piece he had been in the process of stealing, a slight show of guilt crossing his features.  “I hadn’t considered that portion, no.” 

“Well unfortunately for you, Egan,” Ruth said pointedly.  “It’s not up to me.  But I will give you a slight warning.  Huglin wants to do surprise inspections upon their arrival so I hope that your boys are as up to shape as you think that they are.” 

“They will be,” Bucky replied evenly.  “They’re the best of the best and that’s just a fact.” 

“Is it?” 

“It is,” Bucky said proudly, leaning back in his chair.  “They’re the best damn pilots and men that I’ve ever known. You’ll see.” 

She nearly rolled her eyes.  “If only every leader had that kind of faith in their men, maybe this war would actually be over.” 

“Was that a compliment?” 

“No.  Your faith is accompanied by ego and it’s off-putting.” 

“You’re a cold woman, Sharpe.” 

“That’s Lieutenant to you,” Ruth retorted.  “Good day, Air Executive Egan.” With that, Ruth rose from her spot and made a beeline towards the garbage cans.   

“I’m gonna wear you down!” Bucky called in an insistent tone.  “We’ll be friends in no time!” 

Ruth just shook her head as she walked away.  She’d sooner be framed for murder than spend time actually making unnecessary friends. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unwilling to part with his drink of the morning and trying to put on a good impression, Bucky exited his chair, pushing it back in lazily and whistling Blue Skies under his breath. He lazily made his way out of the office and to the jeep, that seemed like it was just waiting for him anyway.

He was still burping up some of the alcohol from the night before— it was too early for shit like writing letters to families anyway. He could push that off on the other Air Execs, seeing as how he didn’t intend to be an Air Exec for long anyhow.  

Giving a wave to the men that had given him the bikes, Bucky grinned as his eyes landed on his boys in the skies above. All in a nice and neat line, tucking in from a long day of flying from Greenland. Everyone had gathered for the occasion and he passed dozens of children as he drove on the runway.

Pulling to a stop, Bucky’s eyes landed on Buck’s plane—where DeMarco was depositing a dog. A dog was certainly against regulation—but he couldn’t see even Sharpe being able to say no to a dog like this.  He couldn���t help the grin on his face as he climbed out of the car. “DeMarco!” He called, an energetic pep filling his tone.

“Hey, Major!” DeMarco grinned, dog-leash in hand.

“Where’d you get that dog, Benny?”

“I won him in a game of Craps!” DeMarco explained.

Bucky had always wanted a dog growing up. Somethin’ about it being man’s best friend or whatever had always struck him as endearing. His ma had always told him no, he was the family dog. So at the sight of the dog, he leaned down and gave him a good pat behind the ears. 

“You took this baby above 10000 feet?” Bucky questioned.

“He’s got a mask!” DeMarco promised, patting at his jacket. “Cost me $3 but boy, he loved to fly!”

“He wouldn’t stop howling!” Buck chimed in, appearing in their vision.

“That’s because he’s part wolf!”

“That wolf is part dog,” Buck corrected.

“Well, does he have a name?” Bucky demanded.

“Meatball!” DeMarco answered, a grin on his face.

“Welcome to the Hundredth, Meatball!” With that done, DeMarco took off towards the barracks to get Meatball and himself settled.  He had only been walking for a little bit before Meatball decided to take a turn of his own, going straight over to the woman sitting and writing in a bound leather journal. 

“Meatball, no—” 

Ruth’s head perked up as the dog, presumably known as Meatball, decided to nuzzle into her leg.  Stopping her notations, Ruth took a moment to pet the dog.  “I wasn’t aware the air base had a mascot,” Ruth said, glancing towards the probable owner—a man in shades and looking a little embarrassed about the entire thing. 

“He’s new!  Meatball’s his name.” 

Ruth had a small soft spot when it came to animals.  And though it certainly wasn’t regulation, she had no problem with them .  A small smile spread across her face as she ran her fingers through Meatball’s mane.  “Well if I get you the paperwork for this sweet dog, do you think you can fill it out and get it back to me before the end of the day?” 

“I-uh—” 

“Meatball’s against regulation and while I don’t have a problem with dogs, I have a feeling Huglin will,” Ruth explained.  

“I can do that.  Uh—Ma’am—” 

“Lieutenant Ruth Sharpe of the JAG-Corp,” Ruth extended a hand, a genuine smile on her face.  

“Captain Benny DeMarco,” Benny said, shaking her hand with a small smile of his own. “You’re the one that terrorized Egan a few weeks back?”

“Oh, I’ve made it into the letters.  My sole goal in life,” Ruth retorted dryly. 

“Ah no, we all thought it was pretty funny,” Benny admitted.  “Sometimes, he could use a good knock on the head.” 

“Noted.  Well I’ll do my best to not disappoint and continue to knock him on the head when occasion calls for it. And you didn’t hear it from me,” Ruth continued. “But Huglin’s allergic to dogs.  I’d hide him in the nurses barracks for now.” 

“Noted,” Benny replied, a grin spreading across his features.  “Let me know if you ever need someone’s help with Egan’s ego!  I’m in!”

[bandagesandloveletters]

Sweetheart, I was wondering if you could please write something about Rosie.

Where he is desperately and utterly in love with OC so much that he literally jumps off his seat whenever OC enters the room, and his friends are tired of him being a lovesick puppy. OC also feels that way, but she keeps her feelings in check and only shows them when she is alone with Rosie. I also wonder how he kisses someone he loves so much.Is he more dominant during sex or do they switch?How expressive is OC when they are alone?

AHH!! My first Rosie ask!! I was literally just complaining to @lambcow that no one has sent in any Rosie asks haha 🤭😂 so this one absolutely made my day! Reminder that my asks and requests are pretty wide open and I don’t mind spam at all :)

More under the cut, cut for length!

-Robert Rosenthal wears his heart on his sleeve and the way he expresses love to you is very reminiscent of this fact

-Honestly, I don’t think he’d have a problem striding into a room and kissing you senseless if he was in good enough of a mood

-But given the fact that you are a little more reserved, he really tries to tone down the public displays of affection

-So I think if you’re in public, he’ll settle for a hug or a hand hold, or having an arm around your shoulder or chair

-He does give the best hugs (the ones where you just feel safe and like he’s your home)

-But when it comes to those kisses, it’s the sweetest most breathless thing you’ll ever experience

-When Rosie kisses someone, whether in public or not, whether short or long, he kisses them with his entire soul

-I think one of his love languages is physical affection and this absolutely expresses outwards

-And if you two are alone? This man is CLINGY and just wants to cuddle you and hold you in his arms

-The kisses are definitely more heated and passionate

-Is definitely a man who enjoys giving neck and jaw kisses and knows exactly where and how to kiss you in order to make you unravel

-And he’s gonna do it with a grin on his face the entire time too

-TUG ON HIS CURLS PLEASE

-Is a big fan of foreplay and the intimacy involved with that

-I imagine that you feel very comfortable when it’s just the two of you and expressing how you feel, whether it be verbally or through physical cues

-And he’s very attentive to those physical cues…..every moan or gasp is something he takes as confirmation that things are going well

-Is very big on making sure that you’re pleasured and taken care of before he is

-When it comes to sex, he’s a switch depending on his partner and the mood that they’re in

-And because you’re not especially expressive in public, this is his time to find out how you really feel about things

-So the sex is a little chatty, in the sense of him wanting you to tell him what you want

-Considering that and that he’s a fan of the foreplay, he’s always down to let you take the lead if you’re feeling especially bold or want to try something new

-Not a fan of quickies but is definitely testing the waters by teasing you Lowkey in public haha

-KING OF AFTERCARE

-And also of pillow talk

-Some of the best conversations about emotional depth or intimacy have taken place after sex

-Is a lover through and through….and puts everything into the relationship he has with you

-You are the thing he values most in this world and the way he treats you is reflective of that

[bandagesandloveletters]

THE MAJOR’S WIFE

warnings: mentions of miscarriage, adultery, nsfw, marital problems, oral (m! receiving), spanking, being turned on even when your brain isn’t in it, bucky in 1x04, bucky married pre-war, slight age gap bc reader can come off slightly immature (i think?) angst, historical inaccuracies, new mediocre writer be nice

summary: John Egan gets to know his wife again

word count: 9.7k

notes: i’m not sure where this came from i wrote it all today and got no part of my research paper done. there’s really no point to it and also irl john egan was actually really close to his mother so i emphasized that here. he wrote to her so much. no disrespect to any of the real people, this is based on the show/show timeline as well.

Lila gets the call on the 2nd of October and her dreams come true.

Not entirely, no. The real dream would be having him home safe and the tragic war being over but she knows how fortunate she is to have the next best thing happen. Her husband’s been granted a few days leave and Colonel Harding believed it would do Major Egan some good to have his sweet, young wife join him during those days overseas. For the good of John’s mental health the Colonel or the President - or whoever was in charge, Lila really had no idea - had agreed to pay for her ticket and their hotel. There was only one thing they asked for in return and although it wasn’t explicitly said, Lila caught their drift: sort your husband out.

Lila knows it would do her no good to sit and wonder how horribly John must be doing in order for them to declare an all expenses paid trip for his spouse. All she does is worry for him anyhow so she forces herself to focus on the one good thing of the entire ordeal - she’s going to see her man.

There’d been letters, although not as many as she liked and she tried not to let it show how it hurt as every other wife received more than one letter at a time. Her John wasn’t the sort, she knew that when she married him. He was the kind of person who needed endless skies and land to maintain his sense of stability. Having him cooped up would do him no good and she partly wondered how much of what he was struggling with was the trauma he witnessed in the air and how much of it was feeling caged on base. At least his plane, good ol’ Mugwump (he wrote about her quite often) offered him the opportunity to head anywhere he wanted.

The only person he wrote consistently and readily to was his mother. It was rare if a week went by and she received no letter. During these instances it was more times than not an issue with the postal service.

Be that as it may, Lila knew who she married and it made her love him no less so she tried not to let it get to her. His mother was a saint. Firm and strong and loving all the same. Lila would have never survived sending John off if his mother wasn’t who and how she was. She held Lila at night when her cries woke her and she let Lila sleep in his old childhood bed. She kept food on their table and ensured everyone got their work done through the worry.

When John first left and Lila was sick to her stomach and vomiting multiple times of the day it was his mother who consoled her through the night when her sheets turned a crimson red and any ideals of having their baby through the war was lost.

Frances Egan was the glue holding them together. All of them, even her son who was an entire ocean way - so no. Lila would not be angry that she was John’s preferred pen-pal.

“You fix him right up,” Mama Egan had said in lieu of goodbye when leaving her at the airport, “you give him the loving he needs as his wife and the smacks he needs from me to get on the straight and narrow before sending him off to continue saving the world. You do it for him, not for any of them war bastards. You hear me?”

All Lila could do was nod. Dropping her bags on the floor and clutching her pseudo mother tightly. She was excited as she was frightened.

They had only gotten two months together before he had been pulled away. She didn’t want to complain, loads of women had gotten less time at all while others had only ever been left with the promise.

But her two months as Mrs. Egan? They’d been a dream. Her man was a romancer. He hadn’t hesitated in introducing her as the newly (and younger) Mrs. Egan, always resulting in an arm slap from his mother, he held open doors and he never stopped courting her; however she thinks the best times were when he was teaching her how to act married.

In their bed, at a home he had spent a year building for them. Using any extra pennies he had to pay off younger boys to help him hurry it along. Giving her the wrap-around porch she had always envisioned.

He showed her how to kiss. How to undress him. He had laid her underneath him, using his large frame to cover her completely, protecting her from the cold as he threw the sheets off them and making her feel tiny compared to him. She had never felt safer.

It had hurt the first time but he had held her through it. Never allowing any inches of space between their bodies; as if telling her they were in it together. She’d always known he was large, everything about him was large in general, but she never thought how much it would hurt to have all of him fit inside her. Lila hadn't wanted to disappoint him so she tried to muffle her tears and whimpers but he had swallowed her cries and gone slow, soft.

“If this is it, it’ll be enough,” he had promised, only about half way inside her and wiping away her tears with his thumbs. As a thank you she had taken that calloused thumb into her mouth and sucked. He allowed her; hiding his face in her neck and pressing wet kisses along there.

And for the first few times that had been it. She couldn’t take all of him and his thrusts couldn’t get too deep so he would only slip inside until her tight hole resisted and pulsed and he’d hump against that spot until reaching his pleasure.

“Do other girls take all of it?” She had asked a couple days later, trying to wrap her head around it.

She was no idiot. John Egan was no virgin.

“Yes.” Lila could always count on him to be honest. At least there was that. Meanwhile she couldn’t even fully pleasure him. She was failing as a wife. “Hey,” he lay facing her and she lay on her back. He tapped her cheek until she turned her face. “You’re my wife. That’s what makes this feel better.”

And she had beamed at his reassurance even though she didn’t feel much better. She knew John would never push her, and he couldn’t stand to see her cry, so if she ever wanted to learn to be a good wife she would have to take it upon herself.

So that’s what she did.

He was always on top and she was always on her back. That’s the first thing she had to change. From her understanding of it, from her talks with friends that always ended in giggles and blushing cheeks and from what she learned from John, it could be done in many different ways.

“I prefer to be in charge,” her school friend, Linda, had admitted to her. “Not like that -” she clarified, cheeks pink, “Just - if I’m gonna take it, I’d rather do it at my pace. Be on top. Some husbands are good like that. They’ll allow it.”

And knowing her husband wasn’t just good, he was great, she knew he would hold no qualms about it. The next time they lay in bed kissing it was easy to turn him over and straddle him. Move her wetness against his belly to let him know there was still more she just needed him to accept it.

Except he thought she was asking him to do it so he flipped her on her back again. And without breaking their kiss, she turned him over again.

It was more like they were wrestling.

Lila pulls away from his mouth, reluctantly, noticing his lips were wet and red and swollen and wondering if hers were much the same. They had been kissing for so long her mouth felt raw.

She loved it.

Straddling him, she reached behind her, feeling him standing straight and hard against her backside in between her cheeks. Sticky.

He gasped, bucking into her fist with a loud, guttural groan. It was so manly she rocked against his stomach again in need.

“Fuck, baby,” he grunted, “what’re you doing?”

“I want to try it like this,” she breathed, leaning over to whisper in his mouth, her tiny hand still wrapped around him and lining her up to her hole. “I want it all.” Lila clarified.

And John allowed it, like she knew he would. Let her take control and go at her pace. Let her swivel her hips on the way down to help with the tightness of being stretched so wide and thick.

Nothing but curses and promises of love leaving his lips. Gasping mine, mine, mine and my perfect fucking wife and I’m gonna fuck you forever.

He felt large inside of her, like if she was being split in two but it felt so good as the tip of him repeatedly hit a spongy part inside that had her coming with no contact to her clit for the first time.

She was beautiful, red splotches appearing on her body from the heat of their love-making, her hair tangled in his fists, her mouth falling open as she threw her head back - all of it was too much. He was flipping her over and pounding into her trying to chase his peak and a second one from her, their headboard banging against the wall in rhythm with his thrusts.

Things changed from then on. Sexually, that is. Becoming aware of how badly she needed to feel like she was pleasing him, John was not above using it against her. Like letting him lick at her.

“Good wives allow their husbands everything,” he would say, lips wide in a smile and eyes bright at the prospect of getting his way but Lila always knew the choice was really hers. He would respect what she wanted.

He was just too damn addicting. She couldn’t stand to tell him no.

His favorite times were when she allowed him to sit her over his face and let him feast. It drowned the outside world for him and he kept at it even after she had reached multiple orgasms and was pulling on his hair and the only thing keeping her up was his forearms locking around her thighs.

Her favorite was when he allowed her to taste him at the same time he was licking her. It was a tie between those times and when he held her down until all of him was in her mouth and she was spluttering, choking, gagging. Knowing she made a filthy vision and he adored it did something to her.

Now she was in London, closer to him than she had been in years, and all their intimacies were within reach. She could almost taste him, feel him petting back her hair and settling a hand at the low of her back. She still remembers the smell of his after shave and sweat, how he’d come into the kitchen asking for some of her homemade lemonade to help with the heat.

Jack Kidd was tasked with picking up Mrs. Egan from the airport and having her arrive at base with him. She remembers meeting him a couple of times before John shipped out early. Originally she was meant to wait for John at their hotel but there had been an issue when planning her flight and she arrived sooner than intended.

“Ma’am,” he greeted, placing a friendly kiss on her cheeks and taking her bags from her. “Bucky’s gonna be happy as hell to see your face.”

The tone in his voice - relief? alleviation? - had some of her happy wife's facade crumbling. How badly was her Johnny hurting that everyone was looking at her at his only chance to remain sane or alive?

Stop it. Maybe everyone’s just aware Johnny misses you. You’re his wife.

“Not as happy as me, I wager,” she returned with a smile. “I’m glad to see you’re doing okay, Jack. Glad to see you still kicking.”

His shrug didn’t soothe her worry but she saw him try to mask it with a smile.

“All we boys can do is pray.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, gathering his attention. “You boys have got the prayers of our entire country protecting you.”

Jack simply nodded in response.

For the most part the ride to base was quiet. Her bags would be kept in the trunk until her and John were ready to drive out to London in a couple of hours and until then, she’d be his surprise at the officer’s club. Silver Wings, Jack called it. Where all the boys gathered and had drinks and celebrated accomplishments. And where some chose to mourn, too.

Her stomach was turning as she neared the hut, following Jack’s footsteps. There was so much that could go wrong and although this was meant to be a surprise, the U.S Army showing their gratitude towards a brave Major, she suddenly wished she would have called John and told him. She wished he knew so that she wouldn’t have to walk in feeling alone and unwanted.

Not that Lila thought John would turn her away, she simply wanted to have him hold her hand as she walked through the threshold.

“Stick close by,” Jack murmured, being respectful of where he touched her before deciding to lead her by her shoulder. “It gets crowded but I’ll take ya to him.”

As she walked through different groups, she felt the offending eyes of men and women alike. Wondering who she was. With a pang in her heart she realized she had met John’s squadrons before but all these crews were new. The boys she met, most of them at least from what she could tell, hadn’t made it. John never wrote about who passed away (except to inform her of Curt) ; most of their letters were him expressing his love and how he missed her so and asking what she got up to.

Having walked around the roundabout bar in the center of the room, her stomach in knots and fingers tangled in front of her - she caught sight of her husband smack middle in the dance floor. Pressed against a beautiful brunette.

Lila caught sight of him before even Jack did. That’s how connected she was to her husband. Jack whistled from beside her to gain Gale’s attention who was resting against the bar holding his signature ginger ale, also watching John Egan chat up the woman he was swaying with with something like disapproval in his eyes.

His large hands were occupying most of the space of her waist, keeping her body tethered to his as she laughed.

“Lila,” he gasped, eyes wide. He was smart enough to not turn and look at his buddy. To act as if nothing was amiss and she expected nothing less from Gale Cleven, “damn it all to hell. You’re a sight for sore eyes, Mrs. Egan.”

Because he was close to John, he didn’t hesitate in wrapping her up in a tight hug and pressing a kiss to her tinted cheeks. He knew John wouldn’t mind.

When he pulled back she patted his chubby cheek in return, “You still shame the rest of us with your good looks, Gale,” she laughed. “I’ll let Marge know when I see her next.”

Lila also knew she would share with Marge that while Gale was being loyal, standing off to the side her husband was exchanging oxygen with a woman on the dance floor.

His cheeks tinted at the mention of his girl. Buck and Bucky were both aware Lila and Marge wrote to one another and visited each other whenever time made it possible.

“Colonel Harding said Major Egan was in need of something from home,” she said, studying his reaction to see what she could read but Gale had always been aloof, cold. He wasn’t close to her like he was with Marge and John.

Gale thought back to a few moments earlier when John had disrespected their Colonel and all his actions before that too - disrespecting superiors, drinking more consistently, becoming angry - hopelessness in his eyes.

“He’s in need of you Lila,” Gale clarified and it wasn’t lost on either one of them that he they were referring to was currently on the floor wooing another woman.

“Holy shit! It’s Mrs. Egan!” Hambone animatedly announced and suddenly it felt like the eyes of everyone in there were on her. Her cheeks tinted pink, never having been one for the spotlight like her husband.

She was greeted with welcoming cheers and hugs.

John, for his part, disentangled from the woman he was holding at the mention of his missus. He was sober enough to appear sheepish and guilty, but in the next second it was gone as he stalked towards her. Determined. Quick. His smile growing the more he neared like he was becoming more aware she was really there and it wasn’t a fucked up scenario in his head.

“God, Lila,” she managed to hear him say before she was elevated in the air, his arms tight around her waist and lifting her high so they were at face level and he could kiss her. Channeling his love and exuberance and aggression into kissing his wife. “It’s you, it’s you, it’s really you,” he was saying in between smooches, “I missed you. So fucking much, doll.”

Basking in his love she didn’t feel the need to mention the woman that was so kindly keeping him preoccupied before she entered.

She couldn’t help the first tear from falling or the rest from following. It was like the tightness in her chest unlocked as she finally got to hold him and feel his heat surround her. He still smelled of after shave and the same hair gel that was kept in their bathroom at home but he tasted strongly of whiskey and cigarettes and strawberry lipstick.

John tucked his face into her neck, setting her down and bending to her level. Sniffling in there as he continued to hold her.

“None of that,” she did her best to stop her voice from wobbling or breaking, “we’re together. That’s all that matters.” She drew his face out from where he had hidden to pepper him with a few more kisses.

None of it was enough.

The rest of the guys were kind enough to return to the dance floor and act like they couldn’t see them.

“Who? What - why? How?” He was obviously having trouble forming coherent thoughts in between the kisses he continued stealing from her.

She was crying and laughing and trying to return all his touches. It was a terribly difficult ordeal but she had never been happier.

“Colonel Harding called and said you had a weekend leave. He said he talked to some of the higher ups but they couldn’t allow you a leave home so this was the next best thing,” she explained, cupping his cheek as she rubbed her thumb over his cheekbone. He had minor scars that weren’t there before.

She wanted to kiss every single one of them.

He was still bent towards her height, taking her in as she was taking him in.

She forgot how blue his eyes were.

He was whole. Complete. Hers.

“You’re here for the entire weekend?” He asked to confirm and she nodded, laughing when he lifted her again with a loud whoop to celebrate. That got a few of the guys to join in although they had no idea what their Major was celebrating.

“I need you,” his voice suddenly dropped, setting her down as he turned to the door. “Let’s go.” He was buckling up her coat to make sure she was protected from the freezing London air. She was lucky he was too far gone to scold her for arriving with it unbuckled in the first place - she could get sick.

“John, John - relax, my sweet man,” she laughed, cupping his cheek to get his attention. “We can stay for a while. We don’t have to go yet.”

It’s why she was at the officer’s club in the first place. She had arrived early.

John turned stiff in her hold, straightening to his full height as he suddenly loomed over her. “I’ve got you in my arms for the first time and you want to stay here?” His voice was tight. His face stern.

“Yes - no, I -” she was unsure of where she went wrong or how to fix it. She clasped his hands in hers but he didn’t allow her to thread their fingers together so it was just her holding on. “I just meant we’ve got time, John.”

The way he was looking at her made her want to cry. She felt her lower lip quivering.

She felt ashamed, whispering, trying to get him to keep his cool.

“Time? Time?” He laughed loudly. She was mildly aware of Gale breaking away from a group of guys to near them, worried but she was mostly focused on John. The tense lines on his face even as he laughed and the quirked eyebrow even though she found no amusement in their situation. “You think I’ve got time? You have no idea what it’s like up there.”

She shook her head but didn’t try to verbally explain herself. She wasn’t sure she could manage a few words before breaking into tears.

“Come on, Bucky,” that was Gale stepping in to save the day. Perhaps the only person who could get John to listen. “When have you ever left before dancing with your girl? You gotta show these rookies how it’s properly done right?”

With Gale slapping a hand to John’s shoulders, he seemed to snap out of it. Releasing a deep breath and seemingly all the tightness in body with it.

He leaned down again, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, clasping a hand around her neck so she wouldn’t pull her head back. As their eyes locked she felt a tear fall again and this one wasn’t happy. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. It’s this place. It’s fucking with my head.”

And she chose to believe him, nodding her head in understanding and trying not to think about how she wasn’t his preferred person to write letters to or the one who could clear his head.

Maybe the Colonel should have allowed a weekend pass for Gale and John.

Lila swallowed the thought, allowing John to pull her to the dance floor as he lost all anger and aggression and became charming and loving all over again.

“Everyone, this is my wife!” He bellowed and everyone cheered in response. “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and -” he hiccuped and she realized he was drunker than she thought, “and I bet we can out dance any couples here tonight!”

So for the next hour she found herself being twirled around the dance floor by her husband. She almost forgot their prior negative interaction; his love and energy was so infectious. For the slow songs he would hold her close and she would rest her head against his chest, letting it lull her to a relaxing state. He was alive and she was with him. That had to be enough. For the more upbeat songs, he was challenging any couple beside them. Asking those sitting who were better dancers? Who could perform certain dance moves better?

And all throughout, he was like he used to be back home. Loud and happy and the center of attention, keeping everyone entertained. He kept announcing to his boys that his beautiful wife was there and then he’d place a wet kiss on her mouth that had their cheeks (and hers) turning red but all he would do is smile and continue on.

She was finally able to disentangle herself from him when Crosby pulled him in for a conversation. Lila wonders if her state of disheveled hair and panting breaths made him want to aid her in allowing her to sit and grab a refresher.

Once she accepts Crosby’s hug and cheek kiss, she excuses herself to go grab a drink. John only pulls her back once to steal a kiss before she gets too far.

Her lips might be bruised by the time they leave if he kept it up.

She orders a cup of ice water from the man tending the bar, looking back out at her husband as she waits. He’d always been tall and strong, but she notices the change in his posture. The bulges in his arms as he twirled her around and lifted her in the air. His eyes were only bright when he forced it. They had lost their shine and she wishes she brought the picture from back home. Where he looks young and full of life and joyful. Even when he smiles he seems hollow; hopeless.

She’s there but he doesn’t really care because in his head he’s already thinking of when she leaves again.

She wasn’t used to that. Her John only lived in the moment.

“He keepin’ you busy?”

Gale settles up behind her and pushes the glass water towards her. She didn’t even notice when it was put down.

“Dizzy, more like,” she jokes and gets him to crack a smile. She thinks to when she walked in and seen Gale, how he’d been watching the scene unfold but with a disapproving look in his eyes. How he didn’t try to hide the scene from her or excuse it. He let it be. And she knows John has never shied away from attention. He’s always been handsome and charming and girls always swarmed but Lila wasn’t aware she had to be around to keep him loyal. She thought he just was. And she knows it’s not too long before they leave now so she decides to be direct with him. “So, does that happen often?”

She sees Gale’s expression split for a second, like he debates playing dumb before deciding against it and she respects him even more for it.

“I think you should talk to John about it.” He decides on.

“Is it something that needs to be mentioned?” She doesn’t like playing this game with him but she knows at the first words of cheating and adultery Gale is going to excuse himself and her chance will be lost.

She can’t be simple and ask: Does my husband cheat on me?

“Another ginger ale, Marty,” Gale raises two fingers to grab the man’s attention and mutters a thanks as his drink is immediately refilled. He turns his attention back to Lila. “He still loves you, Lila. It’s just - hard. Being out here.”

“You seem to be coping fine.”

She feels bitter. Crazy. There’s a sob she has to choke back.

Lila’s too embarrassed to meet Gale’s gaze. Ashamed that everyone knows what’s been going on and she was the ditzy woman being twirled on the dance floor.

“I think I was used to loneliness. He isn’t.”

And he says nothing else as he leaves her behind heading back to his boys. It’s just Lila and her shattering heart and her husband calling to beckon her back to the dance floor.

Luckily they didn’t stay much longer. She walked over to Bucky but he wasn’t able to pull her back out for a dance - it’s my song, Lila! - because Jack Kidd was approaching, letting them know it was time to leave them at the train station.

Lila waited in the car while Bucky ran into his quarters to pack his bag. He didn’t have many things to take, he would be stuck wearing his uniform anyway. Gale walks him back out to the car and despite the earlier conversation Lila exits the safety of the interior to say her goodbyes.

“Take care of yourself, Major,” she squeezes him, “I need you to stick around after this weekend to look after my man.”

“It’s a hard job but I try,” he replies, both of them ignoring Bucky’s protests.

Besides that, Bucky’s quiet on the ride to the train station. He carries her bag on board but he’s quiet for the duration of the train ride. Lila doesn’t disturb him; he might be tired or hungover or both.

And if she’s honest she’s scared of him snapping at her like the night before.

Instead she takes the time to take him in. He’s handsome in his suit. Tall and big and strong, his sharp jaw and powerful mouth, his eyes blue like a sunny day and his curls coming undone from the gel after all the dancing he did.

Lila doesn’t allow her mind to wander down this path too often but suddenly she can’t help it. Would their baby have looked like him or like her? She wishes more than anything they would have had his ears. She wishes they would have had his heart and his strength - but her loyalty. Her faith in them.

It’s crazy when she stops to think she was nineteen when she married him and now she’s twenty-one. She’s loved him for more than she’s been allowed to have him. She has changed without him like he has without her and it’s frightening to think neither of them could be accepting of those changes. Whatever they may be.

Lila shuts those thoughts out, closing the distance between them to sit on his lap. Passerby’s and his horrible mood and what scares her could be damned to hell - all she wants is her man.

John doesn’t deny her; she admits she was a little scared he would.

“I love you,” she tells him, catching his eyes.

“I know.”

He doesn’t return the words as they continue staring at one another but she refuses to let it get her down. This is her husband. She has the rest of her life to get to know him; new or old habits, she doesn’t care.

So instead, Lila plasters a smile onto her face. “What’re you gonna show me first in London, Major?”

“Well I really wanna show you our hotel room,” he plays along, allowing her to trace the edges of his mustache. She lets out a knowing chortle. “And I really want to show you -” he cuts himself off to look around, making sure no one was near them as he leans in to whisper, “- my cock, Mrs. Egan.”

She turns a bright red, trying to sputter out a proper response for that but all she can do is indignantly scold him. “John Clarence! If your mom were here -” and they both break out in loud laughter at the many possibilities of what his mother would exactly do to him if she heard his wicked mouth.

“Wanna grab some grub first?” He asks instead, knowing she hadn’t eaten at the officers club and before then she had been stuck on a plane. “I know a few places.”

Lila nods happily, pressing a kiss to his mouth. His lips are warm and as plump as she remembers them. His mustache tickles her.

“Let me feed you first, woman!” He groans, trying to be a gentleman. “When’s the last time you ate?”

She puckers her lips to think about it and that’s the only answer he needs: food is definitely first.

When they arrive at the hotel John enters to check them in but he slips a few bills into the bell boy’s hand with strict instructions to leave the bags in their room before pulling her back out to the London streets.

Lila felt underdressed surrounded by women in diamonds and fancy hats, and it didn’t help that John was beside her in his uniform looking dapper and catching the eye of many. They were stopped multiple times on the way to the diner; men wanting to shake his hand and show their gratitude while the women introduced themselves, uncaring of Lila under his right arm.

As long as he wasn’t ignoring or dismissing her she realized she didn’t really care. It wasn’t much different back home; everyone knew and loved John Egan.

The diner he chose was small and cozy and his legs were too long to fit under their table so his boot and his knee kept bumping into her own and she adored it. She wanted to feel close to him and since sitting on his lap currently wasn’t an option she figured this would have to do.

He tells her many stories but none of them are sad or tragic. He only shares the happy ones. He talks about how he convinced the Colonel to allow Buck, Curt, and himself a London weekend pass one time and they had shoved Gale into a haberdashery where he tried on a multitude of top hats worth more money any of them would ever see combined. But because they were soldiers and majors at that, the owner allowed it. There’s a museum nearby he talks about wanting to take her too, it showcases art from as early as the 1400s and he says he’s gotten lost in there plenty of times and it was lovely.

All the while, she listens without hearing him. Choosing to take him in and letting her mind wander to how it would be if things were different. It pains her to think how much older he looks since she last saw him. Looking more like it was ten years instead of the measly two. John’s always been one to smile freely but the wrinkles by his mouth, eyes, and forehead aren’t from smiling or laughing too much.

Lila knows they’re from worrying and stressing and being scared and she hates that she can’t understand him or be there for him. No matter how hard he tries.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes when a sob breaks free. She curls in over the table and John’s reaching over to rub her shoulders. She grabs a hold of her hand in his. “I just missed you so much.” She presses a kiss to his knuckles. “I don’t think I know how to not miss you.”

John doesn’t say anything but he motions a server over to settle the bill and once that’s done, he’s taking her hand and pulling her out the chair.

“You got enough food in you?”

All she can do is nod.

Her body feels electric on the short walk back to the hotel. He doesn’t do more than hold her hand and she thinks that is what has her nerves jittery, his palm in her hand sets her alight. She can feel his rough skin and the calluses on his fingers and the fingertips he runs over her skin and she bites back a moan.

Moaning in the middle of a bustling London street? She’d be thrown into an asylum she’s sure.

Beside her he’s quiet but his steps are quick. She has to lightly jog to keep up with long strides. He pulls on her hand to help her keep pace. It makes her think he’s as impatient for it as she is so she was surprised when upon closing the hotel room behind him he stays by the door. Not nearing or touching or kissing.

Just - nothing.

Her throat becomes tight again as she remembers the girl from the night before and her conversation with Gale. Is that the reason why?

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he says before she can spiral any further. Approaching her and bringing their lips together in a searing kiss, wasting no time in sliding his tongue alongside hers.

“I love you,” she responds and once again he doesn’t say it back. She figured he wouldn’t but she wanted to try. He takes her mouth in his again.

She gets irrationally angry, suddenly feeling the need to claim him so she bites at his bottom lip. He pulls back to press a finger to his lip, wiping the blood there.

Lila pulls on his belt, dropping to her knees right there in the middle of the room.

Mine. He’s mine.

“Make me your wife again,” she’s not sure but it sounds like she’s begging as she manages to unbuckle his belt and pull them around his strong thighs.

“God,” he breathed, “fuck. Look at you.”

Swollen lips parted for him to put to use. John wrapped his fist around her long hair to maintain a good grip, allowing the tip of his cock to hit the back of her throat. There was no resistance, no gag, her body remembering how it was taught to take all of him even though time had passed. John loved that fucking mouth and he found himself angry as thoughts entered his mind - if anyone had fucked her mouth while he’d been away - and he jerks his hips more forcefully. Rough.

This time Lila does gag. Her hand goes to push against his hip but he doesn’t allow her to pull away.

“Did anyone else do this?”

She splutters, eyes on him and confused with a mouthful of cock, unable to talk.

“Did you suck someone else’s cock? This is mine, Lila. Mine.”

He holds her down for a couple of more seconds before allowing her reprieve. She sputters and coughs, looking at him the entire time.

His dick is still hard and long, standing to attention, and he’s not sure whether he should apologize before she’s taking his bobbing dick back into her mouth. To the back of her throat and gulping and fondling his balls. Her nose kissing the coarse hairs on his belly trail and although it feels fucking amazing - he can feel the anger too. Her anger.

How dare he accuse her.

When she pulls off there’s a strand of saliva connecting his prick to her tongue. She has half a mind to go back for more but he’s pulling her back by her hair.

“I’m so lucky to have a wife who’s cock hungry,” he groans, pulling her to her feet by her hair and connecting their mouths in a rough kiss. Their teeths crash and tongues wrestly and he feels fucking crazy that she tastes like him. Simultaneously ripping each other’s clothes off.

Lila didn’t have any warning. One second she was kissing him and ripping open his shirt and the next she was bent over the bed with her ass in the air. John ran a finger over the wet patch on her underwear. The bite on her cheek was also unexpected and she clawed at the sheets, sure she could come from the feeling alone.

“This is mine, Lila,” he leaned in close, burying his face in her underwear. “Mine.”

All she could do was whimper and agree.

John smacked her ass so hard it jiggled. Lila yelled and after the pain ceded, time seemed to stop. Nothing but their rough breathing filling the room. John had never done that before.

She wasn’t sobbing but there were tears escaping. She was sure he didn’t know. He was waiting for a reaction.

Lila wasn’t sure where this side of her husband came from. Had he held back those two months? Did he learn it in Europe? Was that why there was another woman - because she couldn’t satisfy him?

She can’t lose him.

“Please,” she begs, hiding tears in the duvet, “do it again.”

Lies. It was all lies but John believes her and he strikes again. She yelps, fisiting the sheets. He believes it’s in pleasure.

Ten slaps. That’s how many she endures before he begins shushing and petting her again. He runs his fingers through her folds and although she didn’t enjoy the punishment mentally - she did nothing wrong, he was the liar - her body certainly did. She’s sopping wet, she’s gonna have to throw out her underwear because they’re destroyed.

“Did you enjoy that?” He grabs a fistful of her hair to sit her up, her back against his sweaty, matter chest. “You like being spanked, baby?”

“Yes.” It’s only half of a lie.

“Now - now, I’m going to fuck you. Nice and hard, just how you like it,” she wants to scream at him. She wants to hit him. When did she ever like it hard? When was hard ever nice? Who was he thinking about because it wasn’t her.

But at the same time she rocks back against him to feel his cock hard between her cheeks. She can’t say she doesn’t want it. Him. This.

He pushes her back down at her teasing, using his now free hands to spread her cheeks and show her tight asshole. Untouched and pure. He presses the tip of his cock against it but he doesn’t push. He doesn’t move.

She jerks at the pressure. Drools on the mattress as she tries to bite down to temper her screams.

Do it.

No, don’t.

“One day,” he promises, pressing deeper so her hole opens but not deep enough to push. “But today, today I want this.” And without any prepping like she’s used to, without any more warning, he’s sliding down and pushing into her. Hard. Deep.

She screams, can’t help it, claws at the mattress in an attempt to crawl away.

It hurt but it felt so good.

Who was she?

“You think you can go be with other men? Let them use the holes I trained? The ones that belong to me?” He pumps into her deep. Once, twice. She’s so wet the noises filling the room are pornographic, her yelling and his panting and her sopping wet vagina smacking against his thighs and taking his cock so well. “You like it like this, Lila? Like when I fucking own you?”

“Yes, yes,” she swears and this time she isn’t lying. It’s all she can manage; she thinks she’s gone cock dumb. There are no words, no feelings, just the feeling of him filling her.

She clenches tight when he slides out. She wants him inside her forever.

He releases his hold of her hair, stepping away. He’s tired of muffling her moans and words. He’s tired of not being able to see her beautiful face.

John’s favorite face in the entire world.

“Turn around,” he commands.

Lila kneels on wobbly legs as she turns over, having little to no energy and bouncing as her body lands with no grace on the mattress. John grabs one of her jiggling breasts in his large hand, squeezing tightly.

“I fucking missed these.” He takes one in his mouth, biting down on her nipple hard. She shrieks but holds his head to pull him closer.

Her thighs are forced open by his hand and then he’s taking hold of himself and thrusting in deep again. Releasing her breasts from his mouth in order to look at her mouth. Lila’s face when he’s fucking her is as close to heaven as he thinks he’ll ever get. She’s incoherent but she’s begging for more - that much he can make out. She manages to gather the strength to grab hold of him and pull him down, clawing at his back.

He hisses at the pain and bites on her collarbone to reciprocate it.

When she grabs the nape of his neck, the cool touch of her wedding ring against his skin, it gives him pause. This was his wife. His wife.

John has been gone so long he thinks he forgot he was married.

“I love you,” he finally says it, pressing his forehead against hers as he slows down. He sniffles then, leaning down to press a wet open-mouthed kiss against hers and swallow her moans. John can’t believe he forgot he had this; can’t believe he forgot for a minute how lucky he was. She’s gorgeous (and not just externally) and he’s quite sure he somehow managed to dream her up. “I love you,” he swears again.

This time she’s the one who doesn’t say it.

She clutches at neck and pulls him down to take a boob in his mouth. Looking him in the eye hurts too damn much. Why did he have to do this now? She was lost in the pain; she had been taking her punishment.

Lila squeezed her eyes shut, moaning loudly as she thrashed around the bed. Her orgasm taking over her body. She wrapped both legs tighter around John, squeezing and pulsing around him and dragging him to the edge with her.

“Fuck, fuck,” he roared, “so damn tight. Yes, Lila. My perfect wife.”

For a couple of seconds, they lay in the aftermath. Lila could feel the heat of John’s breath against her neck. She counted how many breaths they shared in between one another as they recuperated.

Forty-seven that’s how many breaths they shared as they stayed connected.

Forty-eight that’s when John managed to lift his head and place a peck against her mouth. One she didn’t return.

Forty-nine that’s when John pulled back in concern. Lila was so still.

Fifty. That’s the breath she used to say, “you cheated on me,” looking him right in the eyes as she broke out in uncontrollable sobs.

She cried and cried underneath him. Unable to move because her legs felt like jello and they held no power. Unable to push him off because she didn’t want to let him go. Unable to speak because she was suffocating in her heartbreak.

John watched her until he couldn’t, until he was afraid she was going to choke on her own tears and then he was sitting her up, trying to ignore the way she fought against his touch.

I’m sorry, I’m here, he kept saying.

I hate you, she thought but didn’t say.

Until finally, “don’t touch me!” She yelled when he got too close and made to wrap her up in a hug. “Get away from me, John. Stay away.” She crawled to the edge of the bed and curled herself into a tiny ball. Aware she was fully naked and he was still leaking out of her but she couldn’t find it in herself to do anything except cry.

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t open her lungs and get any air in. She slapped at the headboard, aware that she was having a panic attack as suddenly everything hit her all at once. It was entirely consuming and she couldn’t do anything to fight against it except cry. All the feelings rushed her at once.

This was going to be it. The weekend of two lovers reunited was the weekend from hell and this was going to be it. She was going to return home in a day and he would stay in Europe and continue to fight the war and seek out other girls and when he returned she wouldn’t be his wife anymore.

Lila would be scornful and full of resentment and miserable and he would leave her. This last time was going to be all she had and she hated him for ruining it.

Why couldn’t he hide his affairs better?

Why did she have to surprise him?

She was perfectly happy not knowing. She was worried and stressed to hell and crying every night missing him but, oh God, all that was better than this.

Lila isn’t sure how long it’s been since she last took a breath but she feels herself fading. She’s shivering and naked in their bed and she can only slightly take in that John’s wrapping her up in the duvet and curling himself around her to warm her up. She’s trying to tell him she can’t breathe, she’s suffocating, at the same time he’s blowing air in her face.

She’s fading when she feels it. A sting on the left side of her face. Hard and sharp and enough to have her gasping for a deep breath.

“Baby, please, wake up,” he’s crying over her, his head on her chest, “wake up. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Her chest aches. She coughs.

He whips his head up so fast she almost laughs. Almost.

“Lila,” he holds her against his chest, rocking them back and forth on the bed as she takes in her surroundings. She isn’t sure how long she was out or how long she was panicking for. Had the sun been setting while she lost her shit? It was dark outside now. “Don’t leave me, you can’t leave me. Please.”

She taps at his arms to get him to release. She doesn’t think she can talk.

John allows her the space but he doesn’t remove himself from the bed. He stays kneeling, watching her. His hands keep twitching like he wants to reach out and touch her but he’s trying to respect her wishes of not being touched.

She doesn’t lay back down, she stays resting against the headboard. Breathing hurts. She’s scared of suffocating once more. Her left cheek begins burning and she wishes she had the strength to go look in the mirror. Did he mark her? She hopes he did.

Lila’s glad he made it hurt.

“You need to go,” she finally manages to say, ignoring the way he’s already shaking his head in defiance. “Leave me here, John. I want you to go. Get another room.” Find another woman. “I leave in a day.” She wishes she never came to stupid London. She wishes she could forget this entire trip.

“Lila it’s the war,” he starts, shaking in his own tears. “It’s all the shit I see, baby. None of it was because of you okay? None. You don’t fucking know what it’s like up there for us but I stay alive in hopes of coming home to you.” He promises.

She shakes her head, fighting back any more tears. How the hell could she still have any tears left?

“But Gale didn’t cheat,” it bursts out of her before she can stop it and she knows it’s the wrong thing to say entirely.

John stops his apologies, clearing his throat as he gets up and begins dressing into his suit. She doesn’t stop him. She doesn’t take back any of what she said. She gets tired of sitting so she lays on her side, staring out the window and noticing London doesn’t have many stars. Is that why it’s so horrible here? Because there were no stars to wish upon.

She could hear his boots stomping on the ground as he reached the door. “Maybe you should have married Gale fucking Cleven then.” And the door slams shut behind him.

She wonders if he’s angry enough to find a girl and sleep with her. Her eyes blur. The time on the clock is six p.m and London’s already dark. She realizes she hasn’t slept since her plane ride. About 19 hours awake - her and John.

Lila allows her eyes to close, hoping when she wakes everything will be better.

Shadows over her eyelids wake her up. Lila finds she hasn’t moved. She’s in the same position facing the window. Facing London, only now bombs are dropping over it. The prettiest colors burst forward in the window but she knows it's truly only tragedy and loss. Murder.

She recognizes John sitting in the arm chair and she wonders when he got back. He isn’t facing her, he’s watching bomb after bomb drop and land no more than mere miles away from them. He’s holding a whiskey on ice, twirling the ice so it hits against the glass.

Lila wonders then if it was the shadows or the noise that woke her up.

“I must have punched in my card a long time ago,” his voice is strong in the dead of the night, seemingly even louder than when he’s singing in the pub. “It must be the reason for all of this. Karma.” He scoffs.

I deserve this, is what he’s trying to say.

Lila feels her stomach twist and spin and there’s bile sitting in her throat. She closes her eyes to stop herself from imagining John in a plane, dropping a bomb that lands on children. She closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to see the hurt sitting on his shoulders.

She remembers how angry she was when he first signed up. Before they were married. They had been dating for over a month, barely, and she already scribbled ‘Mrs. Egan’ over her notebooks. She’d heard it from his younger sister, Eileen, and she felt her world stop. She hadn’t hesitated to run to the stables he worked at and confront him in front of all the men.

“You’re leaving me,” she had accused him. “You’re gonna leave! I’ll never forgive you, John Egan.”

And in front of everyone he’d knelt down and produced a ring, the one his father had given his mother and said, “Marry me.” He didn’t ask because they both knew it wasn’t a question.

She was already his.

And he was hers.

Lila had forgiven him and promised to love, honor, and obey for the rest of her life.

She doesn’t have the strength to stand so even though her throat burns she speaks. “Lay with me,” she croaks. Her voice is raspy and broken and even clearing it aches.

John shakes his head. “You don’t want me to.”

“Lay with me,” she repeats, firm. “I just want to fall asleep with you.”

He looks at her like he's scared to believe. Trying to figure out whether she’s simply being cruel and going to kick him out in her next breath. Or more likely, he’s scared she’ll lose her shit being near him again.

John, hopeful and never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, sets his drink down and nears the bed. Lila keeps her eyes locked on his and he does the same. Their moves and tension resemble a game of chicken, one of them afraid any sudden change can have the other running off.

“Take off your uniform,” she says when he pushes back the covers while still fully dressed. He jerks his head in confusion and she bites her lip to contain a laugh at his dirty mind. Sex is the last thing on her mind. “I want to feel you, that’s all.”

John does as she asks, setting his cap down and shredding every layer before he’s naked and gorgeous and sliding in beside her. She doesn’t allow herself to think about what it means when she immediately slides closer.

Lila’s the one to wrap her arms around him.

Lila’s the one to intertwine their legs.

John follows her lead, lifting an arm so she can raise her head and use it as a pillow. She scoots her face closer and she nuzzles into her armpit, smelling his deodorant and feeling his hairs poke at her nose. She moves further along, escaping the cocoon of his armpit to press her cheek against his chest. She clutches his dog tags in her palm, tight, so he can’t get up in the middle of the night.

“Can we fall asleep together?” She asks, but when she looks up John’s already there.

The next time Lila wakes up her palm aches. She releases what she’s gripping, remembering how she clung to John’s dog tags when he slid into bed beside her. She lifts her head and finds John already looking at her.

He’s got the saddest eyes she’s ever seen and she hates that she’s partly why.

“We should talk,” her voice is low and cracks from not being used. John nods his head but makes no move to begin.

Lila lays her head back on his chest, lightly picking at his matted, curly chest hair. She presses her lips to a freckle near his nipple and his intake of breath lets her know he felt it,

“I’m not the one you write the most letters too,” she starts, finding it easier to not have to look him in the eye. “You write the most to your mom. And I’m not the one who can calm you down when your anger gets the best of you,” she’s so tired of crying, “that’s Gale. “And I can’t even be here for you at the end of a mission to console you or kiss you or help you forget,” she chokes on a sob. “That’s whoever else.”

I couldn’t even keep our baby healthy, she leaves out.

“What’s your point with all this, Lila?”

Lila lifts her head from his chest, “My point is I’m a horrible wife. I - I don’t know if it was too soon or just not thought out but this - I- ” she can’t get the rest of the words out.

“Don’t say that,” John sits up against the headboard, forcing her up as well. He grabs both her wrists in one of his hands to pull her closer and grab her attention. “Don’t fucking tell me that, Lila.”

“I don’t make you happy,” she shakes her head.

“You do. Everything I do, everything I’m doing - it’s for you Lila.”

“I don’t want to marry Gale. Or someone like him. I love you. Only you. But I’m scared that I don’t make you happy. You deserve better.”

“Oh you dumbass,” John coos, suddenly finding the entire situation amusing. He pulls her in for a hug. “You’re my entire fucking heart, Lila Egan. You don’t think you make me happy? You’re the only thing in my life, in my head, that makes me happy.”

She pulls away to hold his face. “If you’re gonna leave me John you need to tell me now. I don’t care about the girls if all they are is to pass the time. And I don’t care that you write to your mom more than me and I don’t care that Gale is the one you listen to but I just need to be the one you love the most. I need to know I’m making you happy.”

His heart aches at the fact that he made her feel she was ever anything less than the most important person in his life. “Lila,” he presses a kiss to her lips, “Rose,” another kiss, “Egan,” another. “Are my only reason for staying alive.”

[bandagesandloveletters]

hbo war: a concept magazine

[bandagesandloveletters]

ROSIE ROSENTHAL masters of the air - part five

[bandagesandloveletters]

Why All This Music?

Masters of the Air - Rosie Rosenthal x OC

link to the masterlist is here hope you like hehe

16. Lots of Things

Freddie was dreaming about Rosie again. She’d been dreaming about Rosie a lot recently. Mainly dreaming of kissing him. Sometimes dreaming of more. Her steamier dreams made her blush so hard on waking she had to take a cold shower instead of a warm one and had to avoid him at least until lunchtime because she knew she wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye.

Freddie had never felt so shy about all of this. When she’d been doing it all for the first time Daniel had been the one taking the lead. He’d kissed her on their third date and hadn’t stopped. They’d made love on their one year anniversary. Everything they’d ever done had been because Daniel had taken the lead and Freddie had been able to trust him to know when she was ready. 

Now, Freddie was deciding.

She thought she might have been ready.

If her dreams were anything to go by, she was bursting at the seams with readiness. 

Today’s dream was making her entire body warm. Her cheek was pressed to her crossed forearms as she draped herself over her desk and it was a good thing, too, because the sheer temperature of her skin might have set fire to the papers she’d fallen asleep poring over. Her shoes had long since been kicked off and lay strewn further into the room. Her stockinged feet rubbed together beneath the desk. 

“Rosie,” she was mumbling in her sleep, over and over again. “Rosie.”

A knock at the door had her slipping drowsily out of slumber. A second, louder knock had her shooting upright, instantly wide awake as she realised where she was and what she’d been doing. “Fred?”

“Rosie!” she exclaimed, aghast. 

As quickly as she could, Freddie smoothed down her hair, rolled down her jacket sleeves, and hurried to open the door to him. At the last minute she remembered to check the sides of her mouth for dribble - she was all good - and when she flung the door open she was sure she looked like a deer in headlights but at least she didn’t look sleepy.

Rosie grinned at her. “Have you been asleep?”

Freddie tipped her head back and groaned. “How did you know?”

He was still grinning - trying not to laugh, now, too - when she tipped her head back down. “You’ve got a little…” He gestured to one of his under eyes but before Freddie could move to wipe away what was presumably smudged mascara he cupped her cheek and did it himself. “There,” he said, satisfied it was gone. “All better.”

When he looked at her he always looked so deep into her eyes. It was always a little bit disarming. Charming and endearing but disarming, mainly because of their startling, beautiful blue. But after what she’d just been dreaming about, his intense gaze was too much for her to bear.

Freddie stepped away from him with an awkward cough. “So what brings you here?”

Rosie followed her gesture and walked further into her office. She closed the door behind him. This was how her dream had started too, she couldn’t help but notice, although he’d been the one shutting the door.

Knock it off, she demanded of herself. She wiped her clammy hands down her skirt.

“Didn’t see you at lunch,” Rosie said in response to her question, oblivious to her turmoil. He held up a brown paper bag folded over at the top as he moved to pet Meatball’s head where he was dozing on the leather couch in the corner of the office, “so I thought I’d better see to it myself that you’re looked after. I know you well enough by now to know you can’t be trusted to do it yourself.”

Freddie’s eyebrows furrowed. “I missed lunch?”

“You did,” Rosie confirmed, crossing the room once more to place the bag down on her desk. He turned to lean against it, facing her as she lingered in the doorway. “You been working hard?”

Freddie smiled, fiddling with one of her sleeves. “Something like that.”

Rosie laughed. “Other than the sleeping, I mean. Must’ve been a hefty workload that got you to fall asleep on the job.”

“Ha,” Freddie said, shaking her head. She took a few steps towards him just so they wouldn’t have to speak so loudly and risk people passing by in the hallway beyond the door overhearing. “I haven’t been very productive today, in all honesty.”

Rosie’s eyebrows hopped up in surprise. “Why not?” It wasn’t like her to not be thoroughly absorbed in her work.

Freddie shrugged, looking away from him and setting her eyes on the edge of her desk. “Distracted.”

“By what?”

Freddie scoffed, turning her eyes back to him. “What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?”

Rosie smiled. “Just trying to get you to let me inside your head. I kinda like it in there.”

“Only kind of?” she teased.

“You don’t let me see it that often.”

“For good reason.”

“What’s the reason today?”

“I’ve been dreaming about you,” she blurted before she could stop herself. He had such a talent, she thought, for making people feel safe and vulnerable at the same time. His was a gentle presence but an authoritative one, too, and he could make her want to spill everything to him with just a few well-phrased, well-delivered questions.

It was the lawyer in him, she supposed. And she hated that he was so good at it.

Whatever he’d been expecting her to say, it certainly wasn’t that. Those pretty blue eyes of his were just a little bit wider than they usually were. She was sure she wouldn’t have noticed if she didn’t spend so much of her time staring at them.

Freddie could feel the fierce burning in her cheeks and prayed her powder covered it. There was nothing she could do now to take the confession back. Any attempts to cover her tracks would be obvious lies. 

Well, Freddie thought indignantly, that’s your own bloody fault for poking your nose in where I tried to keep it out, Rosie.

Rosie was so caught off guard by her admission that he couldn’t even force himself to try to be cool about it. “What?”

Freddie tipped her head back, covering both of her eyes with her hands. “Don’t make me say it again.”

Finally, he laughed. “You were dreaming about me,” he said eventually.

“I’ve been dreaming about you,” Freddie corrected him. “I didn’t say today specifically.”

“But before I came in,” Rosie said. “Today. You were -”

“God. Yes.” Freddie huffed.

Rosie laughed again. “Someone’s cranky.”

“Someone woke me up,” she retorted.

“Was it a nice dream?”

“It was -” She faltered. “What do you mean by that?”

Rosie was grinning roguishly, borderline smirking. “What was I doing in your dream?”

There was that fire in Freddie’s cheeks again. She had barely managed to put out the last one and here was the next, coming on strong with a vengeance. “Oh, you know,” she said, removing her hands from her eyes if only so they could fiddle. “Just. Things.”

“Things?”

“Yeah.” Freddie nodded. “Things.” She didn’t know what to do with herself. Would she be giving herself away if she put more distance between them? Did she even want more distance between them?

“I’ve been dreaming about you too.”

Freddie’s eyes shot to Rosie. She searched his face for a few moments, trying to discern if he was making fun of her, but it didn’t seem like he was. “You have?” she asked tentatively.

Rosie nodded.

“What do I do when you dream about me?”

Rosie shrugged. “Oh, you know. Things.”

Freddie pointed a finger at him, taking two steps forwards. “That’s not fair.”

He was grinning. “Why not? You didn’t tell me.”

“You forced the information out of me,” Freddie protested. “You brought it up of your own accord.”

“So you get your privacy and I don’t get mine?” His eyes were dancing. Now he was making fun of her.

Freddie laughed quietly. “What do I do in your dreams that would warrant privacy, Rosie?”

His eyes sparkled. “Lots of things.”

He was still leaning against her desk. She was now standing right in front of him. Things had never really been like this between them. He was always unfailingly sweet, her Rosie, all charming and boyish and shy. Freddie had always known he was attracted to her - he didn’t try to hide it, in fact - but such brazen flirting was new to them. Freddie wasn’t sure how far he would let her push him.

She took another tentative step towards him.

“Do you like dreaming about me, Rosie?” This was a desperate attempt to take the power back and he probably knew it. She just didn’t know if he’d let her.

He tracked her movement with darkened eyes. “I think you know the answer to that.”

Freddie hummed. “Do I?” One step closer. Then another. She had to tilt her chin up to look at him now, even though he was leaning. That aftershave he wore - she could never get it right in her dreams. It was always so much more intoxicating in real life.

He was close enough to touch. She desperately wanted to. She wanted to run a hand over his chest, over his shoulders, over his arms. Bury her hands in his hair the way she had been before he’d woken her up.

Rosie swallowed hard.

Freddie watched, mesmerised, as he let her have the upper hand. 

“Don’t play with me, Fred,” he whispered. 

She realised then that he was expecting her to bail out. To panic and back away and close herself off to him, as she had been known to do when she got too far ahead of herself and realised at the last moment that she wasn’t ready. 

But not now. She was ready now. He couldn’t have known it but she was. And the fact that he’d indulged her flirting without expecting anything out of it, the little darling, not even a kiss - he was so precious, so sweet and patient and kind. He deserved a reward for taking care of her and never expecting anything in return.

Freddie took one final step towards him until she was standing between his legs. She could feel the heat coming off of him. She lifted a hand and rested it gently against one of his cheeks. Smiled as he leaned into it. Their eyes never left each other.

“I’m not playing with you, Rosie,” she breathed.

He was frozen, maybe, or else giving her the reins. He didn’t move but let her do whatever she wanted, touch him however she wanted. She smiled, swiping her thumb gently back and forth across his cheek, before reaching with her other hand for one of his and fastening it to her waist. “One hand here,” she mumbled to herself.

One corner of Rosie’s lips quirked up as he watched her work. 

“One hand here,” she went on, removing her hand from his face to put his other hand on the centre of her back.

Freddie smiled, raking her eyes slowly up his body. “And my hands,” she mumbled, considering him, “will go here,” she placed one hand on his chest, “and here,” she placed the other on the back of his head, the prime position to run it through his curls when he finally, eventually, kissed her.

Their eyes found each other again without having to try. Both sets were wide, with blown pupils and fluttering eyelashes. Freddie’s lips were tingling. Was he going to make her take the lead on the rest, too?

No. He wasn’t. He used the leverage the position of his hands gave him to tug her flush against him until she was leaning against him as much as he was leaning against her desk. He tilted his head down, his eyes flicking between her eyes and her lips, and she tilted hers up, watching him in anticipation.

“Fred,” Rosie breathed, so close she could feel his breath on her lips. 

Freddie let out an involuntary little whimper from the back of her throat. She tilted her chin up just to get closer.

“Freddie,” Jack Kidd of the air exec said as he barged in without knocking. “I got - Jesus Christ! In front of the dog?!”

“We weren’t doing anything!” Freddie cried, jumping a foot in the air and then away from Rosie. “We were just - well - I just had - I fell asleep and then -”

Jack cut her off. “I cannot stress to you enough how much I do not want to know.”

Rosie rubbed his jaw as he turned his eyes on Freddie. If he opened his mouth he wasn’t sure whether what came out would be a laugh or a scream.

“Here’s the next set of transcripts you asked for,” Jack said, holding up the file in his hand. “Croz wanted me to tell you he wants to discuss - you know what? You find Croz and talk to him yourself. Jesus Christ. You two can’t keep your eyes off each other even when you’ve been walked in on.”

Against her better judgement, Freddie dragged her eyes away from Rosie and back to Jack, stifling a laugh. She had to press her hand to her mouth to do it but it was the best she could do.

“Sorry, Jack,” she said from behind her hand.

“Not as sorry as I am,” Jack said. “Jesus fucking Christ. They don’t pay me enough to deal with this shit.” He took a few steps into the office until he was close enough to toss the folder onto Freddie’s desk, then turned to leave. He kicked one of her shoes, lying in his path, as he went, scoffing. 

“Sorry, Jack,” Rosie said from behind Freddie. 

Jack threw up a hand in acknowledgement of this before leaving and slamming the door behind him.

Freddie and Rosie stared at each other in silence as they listened to Jack’s retreating footsteps. Unfortunately, they had not heard these footsteps on his approach.

Freddie broke first. Still with her hand against her mouth, the giggles all but sputtered out of her. Rosie’s laughter followed right behind.

“Jesus Christ! In front of the dog?!” Freddie imitated Jack in a poor attempt at an American accent. She crossed the room to Meatball and crouched before him, running gentle fingers over his head. “Meatball, honey, have we scarred you for life?” She had giggles pouring out of her mouth every other second.

Rosie laughed. “I bet he’s seen worse. Lived in the men’s huts before you got him, didn’t he?”

Freddie fussed over Meatball a little while longer, cupping his face in her hands and kissing his head before rising to her full height again. 

“You should eat something now,” Rosie said as Freddie turned back to him. He gestured to the bag of food he’d come up here to deliver and since forgotten about, accepting that their moment had passed.

“What if I’m not hungry?”

“I don’t recall asking if you were hungry,” Rosie said with laughter in his eyes. “But I do recall telling you to eat.”

“I outrank you,” Freddie pointed out.

Rosie scoffed. “Eat.”

Freddie sighed. “What did you bring me?”

Lots of things, she found. Various ingredients to make a sandwich, various options of fruit. Basically whatever had been on offer and was transportable in a paper bag.

Rosie sat with her while she ate quietly, trying things at her insistence every now and again even though he himself had had many of them already for his own lunch. He’d brought some snacks for Meatball, too, who ate them all readily and then demanded more. Rosie grinned and scruffed his head, then sighed as he pushed himself to his feet. “I should get going.”

Freddie frowned. “But you just got here.”

Rosie grinned. “I’ve been here for an hour.”

“Right,” Freddie said. “So you just got here.”

He leaned in and kissed her forehead, smiling as he withdrew. “I’ll see you at dinner?”

Freddie smiled. “If you’re lucky.”

Rosie frowned at her. “If only for Meatball’s sake instead of your own, keep track of time and come to dinner, Fred.”

She huffed overdramatically. “Fine. You’ll see me at dinner.”

A triumphant smile spread across his face. “Lemonade or wine at the club tonight?”

Freddie grinned. So she was being rewarded for making public appearances now. “Neither,” she told him. “I’m having a sleepover with Mils and Jem, remember?”

“Right.” Rosie rubbed his eyes. She had told him that.

“Don’t go dancing with any pretty girls in my absence,” Freddie teased him, batting her eyelashes coquettishly. 

Rosie raised both eyebrows in a comical impression of shock. “There are other pretty girls?”

“Shut up,” Freddie told him, laughing.

He was grinning that stupid grin he did when he was amusing himself. “I’ve never seen any other pretty girls,” he continued his act. “I was under the impression you were the only one.”

Freddie scoffed. “That’s your oversight, not mine. Don’t tell me you never kissed any pretty American girls before coming over here.”

“Well.” He shrugged, clicking his tongue. “I’ve kissed some girls in my time. They weren’t pretty the way you’re pretty.”

“And in what way am I pretty?” Freddie wondered, giggling.

“You’re the prettiest thing I ever saw,” he told her. His sincerity was disarming as much as it was unbearably adorable.

His mouth was still open, a new set of words, undoubtedly compliments, starting to tumble out, when Crosby came barging in, also without knocking.

“Fred - oh, hi, Rosie - Fred, I wanted to talk to you about these flight plans -”

“I’m gonna go,” Rosie said, ducking his chin to hide his exasperated laughter. Clearly, her office was not the place for them to be flirting. “I’ll see you at dinner, Fred.”

Freddie was laughing to herself as she watched him retreat, heat creeping up his cheeks. He inclined his head in goodbye to Croz and then eased the door shut behind him.

Croz glanced between the closed door and Freddie, eyebrows starting to rise. “Did I miss something?”

[bandagesandloveletters]

Timestamp Roulette: Masters of the Air - Part 2

[bandagesandloveletters]

Why All This Music?

Masters of the Air - Rosie Rosenthal x OC

happy VE day!!! masterlist is here <3

15. Best and Worst

New Year's Eve. A night in a packed pub instead of the officers’ club. Warm fire in the fireplace and warm lighting spilling over the pub-goers. Laughter and the squealing of young women being twirled around the dance floor. Loud music and a glass smashing somewhere. The heckling of the British crowd in response.

Meatball sat at Freddie’s feet, as he always did, leaning his head against one of her shins. She sat on Rosie’s lap in the absence of enough chairs. Most of the other Riveters were standing. Millie was sitting on Jem’s lap and Amy was on Paddy’s. Cecelia had managed to secure leave to see her boyfriend. And Emma, it seemed, was currently in the process of falling in love with an officer of the RAF who had asked her for one dance and given her six.

Everything was a little bit fuzzy, the effect that just the right side of too much alcohol tended to have. Freddie had had a few glasses of wine to celebrate the occasion. She kind of really hated New Year’s. 

“You know who would love this?” Freddie said to Rosie, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck with the arm slung over his shoulders. 

He was in the middle of a sip of beer but turned his eyes to her nonetheless. “Who?” he asked once he’d put the glass back down.

Freddie grinned. “Earnie.”

Rosie laughed. “He would.” That little dog loved to be the centre of attention and there was no shortage of people to give it to him here. Rosie could just imagine him running beneath people’s legs and yapping as he searched for his next victim, then demanding to be picked up and carried around like one of the glasses in everyone’s hands.

Freddie smiled. She loved that she could share things about home with Rosie now. That when she spoke of her dogs he could imagine them, could hear their barks as well as see their eyes and feel their fur, just as she did. That when she spoke of different rooms in her house he knew where they were. That when she spoke of her parents he could speak back.

“I miss him,” Freddie said, leaning her head against Rosie’s. “And Bruno and my parents, too, of course. But I miss getting to cuddle Earnie so much right now.”

Rosie smiled sadly, aware of her resentment of the occasion, and gestured towards the tiny puddle of wine lingering in her glass. “You want another drink?”

“Come do a shot, Fred,” Millie called across the table. “You, me, and Jem.”

“Yes, let’s let the recovering alcoholic toss back whiskey like it’s water again,” Jem drawled around a sip of her beer. “That sounds like a great idea.”

“Shut up, Jem,” Millie snapped even as Freddie laughed. “You would’ve done the same if you were me.”

“I would’ve done worse,” Jem countered.

“I certainly did,” Freddie supplied, just because she wanted to make Millie feel better.

Mercifully, Millie giggled. “I so wish I would’ve gotten to see you street racing in stolen RAF jeeps.”

Pappy, standing beside Millie and Jem’s chair, choked on his sip of beer. “What?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Freddie brushed him aside with a flick of her wrist. 

“That why you’re so good at dogfighting, Fred?” Rosie asked around a smirk. “And here you had me believing you were a rookie.”

“Rosie,” Freddie whined, nudging him with her shoulder. “Would you stop bringing that up?” He loved to tease her about the night he’d ‘taught’ her to fly a B-17 and she’d insisted on pretending to dogfight in it. Though she’d been plastered at the time, unfortunately she remembered the event in vivid detail if only because between them Rosie and Millie had refused to let her forget.

“Come do a shot,” Millie insisted, redirecting the conversation. “Just one.” She pouted, holding up her pointer finger and making puppy-dog eyes.

Jem snorted. “You stick that lip out any further and birds’ll shit on it, Mils.”

Freddie tipped her head back as she laughed.

“Fred,” Millie insisted.

“Fine!” she exclaimed, giggling. “One shot.”

“Yay!” Millie cheered.

“Who’s buying?” Jem asked as she waited for Millie to climb off her lap before standing herself.

“The barman fancies Fred,” Millie said dismissively as she reached to help Freddie detangle herself from both Rosie and Meatball.

Rosie guffawed. “I’ll pay -”

“No,” Jem snapped. “You can let Freddie have a little flirt for free shots, Rosie, it won’t do you any harm.”

Freddie and Millie giggled as they linked arms.

“Non-boyfriends don’t get boyfriend privileges, Rosie,” Millie taunted over her shoulder. With that, she linked her elbow with Jem’s on her other side so the three of them wouldn’t get separated in the crowd and started dragging Freddie and Jem to the bar.

Bailey chuckled into his beer as Rosie frowned, petting Meatball briefly when he looked up at him but mainly attempting to get eyes on the girls at the bar.

“You’ve got your hands full there, Rosie,” Bailey said, sharing a smirk sidelong with Pappy.

“You buy one you buy the lot,” Paddy commented, grinning.

“All three of them are as bad as each other,” Amy put in from Paddy’s lap. “No idea how Brady ever handled Millie. The two of them used to be forever at each other’s throats. Next thing you know, she’s in a downward spiral because he’s gone down somewhere over Germany and we’re all finding out for the first time that they were together.” 

“What about Jem?” Bailey asked.

Amy and Paddy both turned their eyes on him, slow and sly. “Why?” Paddy said. “You interested, Bailey?”

“Wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you,” Amy said, taking out a pack of cigarettes from her bag and shaking one out. “I always thought she and Bucky might -”

“What?!” Paddy cut her off. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Aw, come on. The way she used to slap him around and stuff -”

“Absolutely not,” Paddy repeated resolutely.

“Absolutely not what?” Jem asked, returning from the bar with a fresh beer even though the one she’d left behind was still half-full.

“Nothing!” Amy and Paddy insisted at once.

Jem rolled her eyes but didn’t inquire further. Rosie got the impression she didn’t altogether care very much.

Millie returned to the table a moment later and stared at Jem expectantly, waiting for her to sit down so she could sit back on her lap. She, too, had a fresh drink even though she hadn’t needed one.

“Where’s Fred?” Rosie asked.

“Some locals were having a go about her wireless ops speaking German to each other. She went over to have a word,” Millie said. She sipped her new beer and then her old beer in turn, holding one in each hand.

“She alright?” He didn’t like the thought of it.

“She’s fine,” Jem dismissed him. “She’s got it handled.”

“Now listen here, you Jerry bitch -!” an older man barked from the other side of the dance floor.

All eyes shot to him and found Freddie in his face.

“Oh dear,” said Millie.

“I was born in Oxford!” Freddie insisted, refusing to shy away even when he was getting closer and closer to her. 

“Don’t speak that filthy language around here,” the man threatened her, nostrils flaring. His beer was sloshing all over his hand as he held it aloft.

“Us speaking that ‘filthy language’ is saving Allied lives,” Freddie spat. “I have been working for the RAF for almost five years, how much have you been doing?”

“Fucking spying on us, are ya?” The man scoffed. “I wouldn’t go around bragging about that if I was you, love.”

“Spying on you?” Freddie laughed. “You don’t know piss all about the Allied war effort. I’d be better off asking Adolf Hitler.”

“Why don’t you run and fucking ask him then, little snitching bitch -”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Rosie said, stepping between the two of them to force them apart. “Come on, Fred, calm down,” he insisted when she wouldn’t look at him, just carried on staring past him at the man smirking his toothless smirk.

“Yeah,” the man goaded, “come muzzle your Bosche bitch.”

Before Rosie could get a word in, Jem had punched the man in the face. One snap of her arm and the blood came pouring. No one had seen it coming, not least the man who fell victim to it. With a cry and the windmilling of his arms he stumbled backwards, dropping his mostly empty pint of beer and clutching at his nose, taking a few other men down with him as he went crashing into a table.

“You watch that filthy mouth of yours or it’ll get you worse than that, so help me,” Jem snarled as she moved to stand over him.

“Enough!” shouted an authoritative voice. Imelda, the owner of the pub, was scowling as she approached. “You can go home,” she told the man still clutching at his bleeding nose as he half-draped himself over the table. “Should be with your wife and children anyway, you poor excuse for a man. And you -” Here she turned to Jem. “You cause chaos in my pub one more time, Jemima, and you will be banned for good, do you hear me?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jem said but she was grinning. 

“I’m serious. I know he’s a prick but I can’t have you throwing punches at the first sign of trouble.”

“Filthy mouth on him,” Jem muttered, shaking out her hand.

Imelda sighed. “Come get some ice.” She saw to it that the man who had started the trouble was escorted out before placing a hand on Jem’s back to lead her to the storeroom. Before she went on her way, however, she turned to Freddie. “Maybe go and get some air, Freddie, love, you’re all flushed.”

“I’m sorry for causing trouble,” Freddie told her quietly. Gone was her earlier fury, replaced with all the guilt of a child being told off. 

Imelda smiled both indulgently and reassuringly at her. “I know it wasn’t your fault, Freddie, dear. Just let’s ask your colleagues to keep the German to a minimum when it’s this crowded, ay?”

Freddie cracked a smile at this, nodding. “Yes, of course. I will do. Thank you.”

Imelda nodded, reached out to give her arm a squeeze, and then led Jem away to get some ice for her hand.

Millie, behind Rosie, sighed. “Take her out the back way, Rosie,” she said, sounding exhausted. “Just in case the bastard’s still out front.”

Rosie nodded and Millie turned to leave. 

Freddie frowned, hugging her arms around herself. “I left my drink.”

Millie rolled her eyes but she didn’t quite manage to hide her smile in time. “You don’t need to drink any more wine tonight, Fred,” Millie told her. “Apparently it makes you feisty.”

Freddie scoffed. Rosie laughed.

“Your wireless girls are doing fine,” Millie assured Freddie next. “Go and take a breather, alright?”

Freddie nodded, docile now that the chaos had passed, and allowed Rosie to lead her out the back door of the pub into the beer garden.

It was empty in the middle of winter and dark against the blackout blinds. The stars were out but the moon wasn’t, not really, not for all the light it was giving them. The stars, though, were bright, allowing them to make out first the rows of empty benches, then the trees at the far end of the garden, and then each other, standing close together beside the closed door as they waited for their eyes to adjust.

“It’s chilly,” Freddie said, just to say something, really.

Rosie leaped into action, reaching to unbutton his jacket.

“No!” Freddie exclaimed, giggling softly at him. “No, it’s okay, keep it on. You’ll freeze.”

“I’ll be fine -”

“I’ve got my own jacket,” Freddie assured him. “I’ll be fine. The alcohol is warming me up, anyway.”

Rosie cracked a grin. “Right.”

Turning away from him, Freddie surveyed the nearest bench in an attempt to gauge whether it was wet. Satisfied that it wasn’t, she moved to sit on it and Rosie followed behind her, sitting by her side.

“I hate what the Nazis have done to the German language,” she spoke up after a while. “Those girls in there - Anneliese and Jana - they represent everything the Nazis hate. Jews who escaped their grip and are now using their own language against them. And yet they’re insulted like they’re the worst of them just for using the language, even in the country they’re trying to help.”

Rosie sighed. “That guy - he has no idea about anything anyone’s doing in this war. No idea what we’re all out here fighting for. But you said it yourself - he’s doing nothing while you and those girls are working tirelessly to bring bombers like me home again. And you can only do that because of your German.”

Freddie smiled sadly as she looked over at him through the darkness. “I love German. I’ve always loved it. Because I spent so much of my childhood in Vienna, in some ways it feels more natural to me than English. I just hope the Nazis don’t turn me against it. It’s a beautiful language, really.”

“It is,” Rosie agreed. “When you speak it, at least.”

Freddie gave a little laugh, hitting him lightly in the arm. “Flirt.”

Inside the pub, the music changed. Instantly, Freddie perked up. “I love this song,” she breathed.

Rosie watched her face as she listened to it. His eyes got stuck on her gentle smile. “Fred,” he began shyly, “would you like to dance with me?”

Freddie’s eyes shot to him and searched his face. He watched a multitude of emotions pass over her.

Dancing. She still hadn’t done it since Daniel. But maybe she was tired of not dancing. Maybe, in the midst of this war that just kept on coming, that didn’t ever seem like it was going to end, what she really needed was to dance. 

And here was Rosie, all sweet and shy and charming. So, so patient with her. He was hanging on even though she knew she’d given him little reason to. No kisses, no dances, no lingering touches and scarcely many hugs. Why did he keep on waiting for her? More importantly, why did she keep on making him wait?

Freddie reached for his hand and took it, smiling at him through her lashes. “I would love to dance with you, Rosie.” She stood and led him over to the small clearing between the benches and the door, placed one arm around his neck and left her other hand in his, smiling as he wrapped his other arm around her waist.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this,” she admitted as she found her footing. Once upon a time she had danced all the time. Now she was unsure of where her feet were supposed to be going.

“I’ve got you,” Rosie reassured her, using his hand on her back to bring her closer. “Not letting you go anywhere.”

“I don’t want to step on your toes,” she confessed with an embarrassed laugh.

Rosie’s eyes sparkled as he shared her smile. “If you’re stepping on them it’s because I put them in your way, and that’s my problem, not yours.”

Freddie laughed, loud in the quiet, and rested her head on his chest right over his heart. It was racing beneath her ear. She would have liked to make some smug comment about making him nervous but she knew hers must have been just the same.

They danced in silence for a while, listening to the muffled music reach them through the walls. Freddie shut her eyes and let Rosie guide her, trusted that he wouldn’t lead her astray.

Wanting to be closer to him, all of a sudden much too far away, Freddie lifted her head and rested her forehead against his cheek. She smiled as she felt his muscles twitch where he clearly wanted to smile as well.

They swayed gently even as the rhythm picked up speed, curled into each other like they’d always been that way. Their breathing synched and so did their heartbeats, both of them committing the feeling of being pressed so close to memory.

“Feeling brave, Fred?” Rosie asked quietly as the song approached its crescendo.

Freddie smiled. “I trust you.”

Rosie pulled just slightly away so he could use her hand to twirl her, then caught her as she came back to him and grinned at her smile. 

“Again,” Freddie insisted, laughing.

So again he twirled her, and then again, until she was so dizzy she had to stop and lean her weight against him once more.

They swayed together into the next song, both of Freddie’s arms around Rosie’s back and both of his around hers. Her forehead resumed its perch against his cheek. Rosie ducked his head to make it easier for her to reach.

“It’ll be midnight soon,” Freddie whispered after a long while of silence. The muffled songs in the pub were getting jollier and jollier as the end of the year approached. But jolly though they felt, Freddie and Rosie kept on dancing like the music was slow and romantic, pressed together like they were trying to hold a feather aloft between them.

Rosie hummed his acknowledgement of this fact.

“Mils, Jem, and I have a tradition at midnight,” Freddie informed him. “They’ll kill me if I miss it.”

“Five more minutes,” Rosie whispered, holding her closer.

Freddie smiled. “Two.”

“Three,” he bargained.

“Done.”

But they stayed out there for ten, until the sounds of increased movement inside the pub informed them that midnight was well and truly on its way, unstoppable in its approach.

Rosie guided Freddie back inside with a protective hand on the small of her back, making sure no one gave her trouble as she navigated their way back to the table.

Millie and Jem jumped to their feet when they saw her. “Finally,” Jem said, now with a bandage wrapped around the knuckles of her left hand. “We thought you may have forgotten.”

Freddie scoffed, affronted. “Never.”

“One minute to midnight!” someone in the crowd announced.

Rosie resumed his seat while Pappy slipped into the one Millie and Jem had vacated. Freddie, Millie, and Jem formed a circle beside the table.

“Best and worst,” Millie said. “Go.”

“Best when Jones fell down the stairs,” Jem said, snorting just at the memory. “Worst, that Münster mission.”

“Best when I met John,” Millie said with a wistful smile. “Worst when I lost him.”

“Best when I met Rosie,” Freddie said, blushing because she knew he could hear her. “Worst when we lost all our boys in Münster.”

“But next year…” Millie started.

“But next year will be brighter, happier, healthier,” they chorused as one. “And we’ll see each other through.”

“Ten,” the crowd in the pub started chanting, “nine…”

“I have a good feeling about this one,” Millie said.

“Six, five…” 

“1944 will be our year!” exclaimed Jem.

“Two, one - happy new year!”

All at once, the three of them pressed a kiss to the cheek of the girl to their right. Freddie kissed Millie, Millie kissed Jem, and Jem kissed Freddie. “Kisses!” they all exclaimed once they’d pulled back with an exaggerated smacking sound.

They all laughed and hugged, bundling in tight, swaying from side to side as they told each other how much they loved each other and how they just knew the next year was going to be kind to them. And when they all eventually let go and moved to hug the rest of their group, and Freddie let Rosie wrap her up in a warm bear hug, she thought for the first time that she might actually believe it.