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⠀⠀  𝐀  STUDY  ⠀⠀  𝑖𝑛 ⠀⠀  R.  𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄𝐘 ⠀⠀    high school student,  leader of 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚝,       ˢᴱᴿᴵᴬᴸ job hopper    ⠀⠀    — -      LONELINESS,   ﹠    ᵀᴴᴱ ᴰᴱˢᴵᴿᴱ ᵀᴼ 𝑟𝑢𝑛 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 ᴬᴺᴰ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 AGAIN.

#haunting myself with this again

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𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ... 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝙗𝙞𝙜 𝙟𝙞𝙢 ᵇᵒˢˢ . est. '22. private/selective. ©

#i have waited so long for this……

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My dad was eating pistachios so I reached my hand out and he just started peeling them and giving them to me. Then suddenly went "I really hope you find someone who loves you a lot" and I went "enough to peel my pistachios for me?" And he laughed and said "yeah exactly" before carrying on giving me more

#ch1efhops #in celerbation

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Could you do one about the love/hate-relationship one has with their hometown?

@electraheart2012 // how’d your parents die again? by fatimah asghar // lady bird (2017) dir. greta gerwig // i know this by rachel khan // lady bird // tell the wolves i’m home by carol rifka brunt // maya angelou // scott street by phoebe bridgers

#this is so robin coded it HURTS

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robin is incredibly impulsive. yeah yeah refer to joining in on the russian hunt(more boredom than impulsivity) but mostly referring to crashing prom aka the night they chopped/hacked off their hair, stole their dads car, proceed to crash into 3 cars etc. she doesn’t really ever think about the consequences of what happens until the after either

#robin crashing prom for a girl who barely knows they exist is so on brand my baby angel

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ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (2004) dir. Michel Gondry

#shes so robin it actually hurts

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" be nice to yourself. " said @behaved25 , and you almost have to laugh at the irony. be nice to yourself, regarding what? you almost ask, stuck on an answer was not like you, always quick to jab back. it's easier when your words are full of hate, when you can hide behind a painted mask so that no one ever truly knows you, because how can words hurt when they aren't true? in the passenger seat, you're restless, you have been for years now; just waiting as if one day everything will suddenly fit into place, a missing jigsaw piece to the puzzle that had become your life. there has always been a stranger inside of you begging to get out, another version of you who knew what life was about, was ready to welcome it with open arms. all you saw was the rearview, always running from something, never content with what was given. how could you be when what was given was scraps on a table? another unopened bill, stamped with last notice dated 3 weeks ago, house uninhabitable after night fell for weeks on end with no sign of reprieve. that stranger— that other version of you rattled inside your ribcage as if it was its eternal prison: can't it understand you are trying to save it? that you will let that girl inside you breathe only when it is safe? " — - i have a better idea,"

you've never known where to put your loneliness, it had always been bigger than you, grew faster than you did and you wear it like hand-me-down clothes two sizes too big. for once, it is satiated, it had left some room for you too, to let words fall through lips rather than turning to run. first, you shoot him a grin before feet are kicked up on the dashboard, leaning over push new tape into the console. "you go first, or you can zip it and let me enjoy the smooth, dulcet tones of alanis morissette without interruption?"

#behaved25 #shut up im not talking about the speed of this reply!!!!

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robin pretty consistently works two jobs after leaving hawkins to keep themselves afloat, at a video rental shop during the days and bartending at night, all whilst she completes her first year at college, though they inevitably drop out

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going to write up a yj verse for robin and it works so well considering she did actually play soccer ❤️ and i get to continue the streak of robin dying before 30

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robin vs the constant want for approval from her parents that she never gets

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⠀⠀  𝑽.   ¿THERE ARE MOℕ𝕊𝕋ER𝑺 HERE IN HAWKINS.  ⠀. ⠀.     2 DAYS LATER..?

robin buckley has never had to grieve a person before,   not in this way.    sure,   grandparents,   only ᵀᵂᴼ ᴸᴵⱽᴵᴺᴳ by the time you was able to actually understand grief,   both living somewhere in texas,   never visited,    odd birthday card received through the mail  — -    18th birthday cards still decorated your room,   not one signed from grandparents.     so when your chest started to tighten,   and it felt as if all air had been stolen from lungs,   you didn’t truly understand the weight of your emotions.       the first body   (E. MUNSON— -   ˢᴱᴺᴵᴼᴿ,   ALONGSIDE YOU.   ACCUSED MURDERER,    METALHEAD(?),    INNOCENT)     you heard dustin first,  but it was like you were frozen,   unable to help as the wails attempted to pierce the wall you had began to build.     it was up to steve and nancy,   of course it was,   accepted rucksacks but you did not utter a word,    could only watch with pain in your eyes.

the return to hawkins only brought more grief,   finding erica, lucas and …   max.    body two    (M. MAYFIELD— -    ᶠᴿᴱˢᴴᴹᴬᴺ,   DUSTIN’S YOUR FRIEND.  SUDDENLY YOU WISH YOU RENTED OUT THAT RATED R TO HER WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE,     ALSO INNOCENT)      what could you say that hadn’t already been said?   for once in your life,   you were silent,   each time words tried to bubble to the surface you just couldn’t find it in yourself to speak.     you get checked out at the hospital— -    both to see max and to make sure that steve got checked once, twice.. maybe ᵀᴴᴿᴱᴱ ᵀᴵᴹᴱˢ for rabies.     the nurses asked what happened,   the red marks around your neck obviously not from the ‘earthquake’,    but it didn’t matter,    you didn’t speak.

you’re not sure when you first let yourself cry.   you weren’t supposed to, right?   you were one of the adults,   you hadn’t really lost anyone,    eddie you had known as ᴬᴺ ᴬᴺᴺᴼʸᴬᴺᶜᴱ in the cafeteria and max as…     an annoying younger sister.     you were alone,   locked yourself in a bathroom and gave yourself five minutes:   cry,  splash your face with water,   then get back out there.     because you had to get back out there,   you couldn’t let steve be the only crutch.

24 hours of silence,   you almost wanted to laugh,   definitely a new record:   even when you locked yourself in your room as a teenager,   you still would talk away to yourself,    reenact the pages of a book.   but this time it was different,   not so much a voluntarily isolation as the past.    you broke your silence with steve first,   and you let yourself cry,   about how it should never have been them,   about how max was so young and nobody knew what was going to happen,   and how eddie had been dragged into it with ᴺᴼ ᴼᵀᴴᴱᴿ ᶜᴴᴼᴵᶜᴱ,    and why it couldn’t have been you—       the hivemind reacted to you,   you stumbled,   and you lost the advantage (if you even had one to begin with),    and maybe nobody would have died,  or gotten hurt.       THE TERRIBLE,  GNAWING FEELING?     it was right,   it would be too kind to let you all walk away,   unscathed.   and now your town was bleeding,    your parents urging you to pack your things, ᵀᴼ ᴳᴱᵀ ᴼᵁᵀ.     how could you?   you caused this,   did you not?

#this is so important to me actually

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god. i only wish the best for robin then i relate things like this to her!! they never truly know who they are because too often they've just mirrored the people around them, they have never had a place that they belong and she is terrified that all she'll ever know is that she's different! tries to be okay with it but she doesn't know who she is!

#robin accepting that they thought they knew who they were end of rebel robin; steve challenging all of that and being left with not knowing!

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dedicated you’re gonna go far to robin btw. dont even wanna think about call your mom

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" now i can't breathe, and i can't sleep. " said @k1ngdingus , and you don't know what to say. you had never been the greatest at putting the ache inside your chest into coherent sentences, becoming an enigma that even you could not decipher, pouring out your heart in between metaphors and long running sentences, perfected with a laugh to ensure it wasn't ever taken too seriously, that everything was actually okay, that the hope in seventeen was still in reach, that the rest of your life was still sitting on the horizon, just waiting for you to reach out and touch it. but recent events left you reeling, left catastrophic damage in its wake that you weren't sure recovery was quite an option, that the life that was promised to you in college brochures and old movies was slowly fading away like ink from years ago. now— - your anchor, the reason that you had been able to keep on going after starcourt, the other half of you left himself unravel into a string of confessions that you had become used to hearing over late nights after door was closed on kids who needed someone to be strong, someone to follow in example of. moments like this were tucked away, bedroom turned confessional not to be mentioned when the sun rose, sworn to secrecy as if you had anyone else to tell. "okay, well we just need to think about this logically, alright? break it down."

a pause, mind turning like cogs. what helps you does not help him, you think about how you've helped countless times before. you stop your pacing, let your breaths fall into time with his as if inserting yourself directly into his mind; as if you were a person and not an all sucking vortex. "can you not breathe because you can't sleep, or can't sleep because you can't breathe?" wrong choice, shaking your head as if in a battle with yourself, you begin again— "i'm going to rule out heart attack unless you have some chest pain you've decided not to tell me about, okay? are we in agreement?"

#hey. this sucks :/ #k1ngdingus

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robin is soooo lady bird coded its unreal

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robin canonically played soccer which means i get to give her a yellowjackets verse whenever i get around to watching it

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Cinema without people: Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai De Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (Day three) (1973, Chantal Akerman, dir.)

#soooo buckley household core