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b0blegum · 5 years

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Why Am I Here? [ten]

Author: b0blegum

Pairing: Patient!Shin Hoseok x Psychiatrist!Reader

Rating: R

Genre: Psychiathriller

Words: 2252

WARNING MENTION OF MENTAL ILLNESSES

Status: ON GOING

TRAILER

gif @heonykkyung

Summary

He was once an excellent doctor. An excellent psychiatrist. Everyone loved him. He was nice, kind, always care for each other, he even got the look. We can say… he was the whole package. But his glorious days ended in just one night. The night he woke up as a patient in the asylum where he worked, with no memory of why he is there or what he has done.

The atmosphere in the cafeteria today was rather heavy, due to five rebels that were refusing to take their daily drugs. Nurses and doctors, even the guards had to work hand in hand to calm them down— of course, one nurse fell down- literally and her hand was bruised from bumping onto the metal table.

The foods in your tray were left untouched. You were occupied by the thoughts of Minhyuk and Hoseok actually knew each other, but why had Minhyuk never mentioned that fact?

Your eyes darted to the long queue of people waiting for the food to be served onto their trays. Pretty boring sights, but there wasn’t anything to look at aside from that and bunch of people hunched on their table, stuffing themselves with the foods.

“May i sit here?” A voice startled you and made you jumped quite a bit, resulting in your knee bumping onto the metal. “Oh, sorry, did i scare you?” He asked.

“No— yes you can sit here and no, you didn’t really sc—“ you turned around to see who was it. “Scare me, Minhyuk.” Your voice were slowed.

He quickly was adjusting to his own seat, making himself as comfortable as he needed to enjoy the bland dish.

“You look exhausted. Is something up?” He asked, ripping off the plastic that wrapped a perfectly ripped banana.

You curled your lips in and just swirled your spoon lazily.

“You can tell me anything, you know.”

“Actually, something had been bothering me.”

“Something? So it’s not someone? Intetesting. Is it about ghosts? Or just any kind of spirits? Because i heard some experienced some paranormal activities in this institution or is it your pet do— wait, do you even have a pe—“

“You and Hoseok were friends, weren’t you?”

He stopped talking and had his eyes automatically fixed in yours.

“You really were? God. Wow. I can’t believe this. So you’re involved in all these play?” You felt pretty much dumbfounded by the fact you just found.

“No— (y/n), listen.” Minhyuk tried to hold down your hand, looking a bit taken aback.

“You’re actually in a team with Mrs. L—“

He shushed you with his finger glued to his rosy lips, eyes widened. “Yes we were—“

You stood up and left him with his unfinished sentence. At least you already had him confessing that he was indeed friends with Hoseok.

“(Y/n)!” He shouted, but of course you ignored him.

Running as fast as you could to Hoseok’s room, you didn’t care how many eyes were looking at you when you walked passed many corridors. Some even said hi to you, but you just had no time to hi them back. Sorry, but your mind were too focus on Hoseok.

“Open it.” You commanded Hyunwoo.

“You don’t have any session at this t—“

“Fuck my session, i need to get in.”

“But (y/n), i can’t let you in—“

“Hello, (y/n).”

This voice again. This deceiving motherly voice. “What are you doing here?” She asked. The sound of her heels tapping against the concrete floor was getting closer and closer.

No, i can’t let her know i found out something. You turned around, pulling the fakest smile you’ve ever shown.

“Hello, Mrs. Lincoln.” Her fingers brushed against your coat, dusting the invisible dusts to ever exists on the fabric.

“Didn’t expect to see you here outside your session.” She smiled. Of course, fake.

“Yes. I just want to have a couple of words with Hoseok. Won’t take long—“

“Mr. Shin is sleeping.” She cut.

Christ. It’s bad. “Oh, he is?” You pretended like you were crestfallen.

“Yes. I was just there thirty minutes ago. He looked so tired, so i let him to have his rest.”

Twitching on the edge of his lips. She’s lying.

“Oh. Well... too bad then.”

“Yes, too bad.” She nodded. “Why don’t we both go for some air?” She invited. Without second thoughts, i nodded at her offer and quickly tailed her.

She told a tale of her life on our way down the corridor in her motherly voice, so soothing that could make any orphans mistook her as their own mother. Her steps were slow. The thuds of her heels sent an echo of terror for those who trapped behind the metal cylindrical row of bars. She’d showed off the curve of her malevolent smile.

You were not fascinated by all of her fabricated tragic story of her childhood— well, maybe some of them were true, but you just won’t buy it, thinking that she’d put so much effort into making a terrible terrible stage play in this institution.

“Mrs. Lincoln,” you cut her before she had the chance to continue her story.

“Yes?”

“I... really need to go to the bathroom.” Not really, actually. She turned around, looking far behind your back. Probably counting how many corridors had you two been walking through.

“Sure. I’m sorry to kept you with my story.”

“It’s— fine.”

You waited for her to finally be in her office, waited for another soft creaking sound of her chair being pulled out under the desk and as soon as you heard it, you rushed to Hoseok’s room.

Hyunwoo was still there. Well, he always there 24/7. Never leave unless he had to ‘carry’ hoseok to his daily treatment.

“Hyunwoo.” You called, in a soft tone. “Mrs. Lincoln wanted you to be in her office now. She said something about Hoseok’s treatment and—“

He squinted his eyes and doubted you for a second before he let loose his shoulder and nodded.

“Alright.”

Wow, that was... pretty easy.

You put in the numbers you memorized when you stole glances everytime Hyunwoo opened the door.

Entering the room in such ease was something. The room was quiet. Hoseok was curling, hugging his own frail pale flesh. He wore one of his broken white uniform, the one who always had stains in some parts, like it had never been washed.

You walked silently, trying as hard not to make any noise— not to wake the man up. Standing right next to his bed, you heard his breathing. He slept in peace and you shouldn’t bother him. Or maybe it’s best to just leave him, in thoughts that Hyunwoo would be back at any second after he realised that you lied to him. Turning around and walked to the door, you heard a rustling sound from behind. It could be him, switching positions.

“Don’t go.” He said.

You stopped. Turning around slowly to found Hoseok helped himself up from his fetal position.

“You weren’t asleep.” Was the sentence that slipped out of your lips.

“I wasn’t.” He darted his eyes to the corner of the room, where three blue pills were scattered. “I spitted them out.”

You looked at him, perplexed.

“She forced me as usual, but i tried hard not to swallow those when they made me to gulp down the water.”

“You don’t deserved any of these.” You shook your head.

“They think i d—“ He grunted, cutting his own words. His hand quickly traveled to his head pulling his brown strikes from the pain that building up inside him.

“Are you ok— hey?” You brushed up the hair from his forehead and trying to stop him from pulling his own hair, but what you found was something you’ve never expected to see. “Oh, fuck you Mrs. Lincoln.”

Blood is dripping down his temples. He wasn’t curling, sleeping in peace. He was curling, holding the pain.

“What the fuck did she do to you?” You wiped off the blood with your coat as you brushed his hair up to get the clearer view of the bruise.

“Doesn’t matte—“

“It does matter, Hoseok!” You snapped. “She can’t torture you over and over again like this!”

“Maybe i do deserved all these—“

“What are you talking about?”

“Maybe i did kill them— maybe i did skin them— maybe i did—“

“Hoseok, you have lost your mind right now. Listen, you did not do those things they said you do—“

“I did! I did fucking kill them! I did fucking skin them. It was amazing to see them ripped apart!” He laughed out an epiphany that revolves around chaos. “Hoseok!”

“No— no, i did not kill them, no.” His body trembled, sweats dripping and the wetted fabric of his uniform started to stick onto his skin. “(Y/n), i didn’t kill them, it wasn’t me! Help m— Fuck i did kill them!” He cried out a desperation before it turned into another malicious laugh.

“Hoseok?” He was having a battle inside his brain. Something must be injected. Those pills were only used to trick him.

“(Y/n), help me,” he cried. He begged with his teary eyes, hands grabbing your coat, not wanting to let go of you. “No— i don’t need help. I deserved this, i killed them!”

“Listen, you did not. They used you as a bait. They put you in this position for a reason we do not know yet, but you did not kill him.” You gripped both of his upper arms and tried to make him to only had his focus on you. “We will figure this out together. You did not kill them. You are not a Hoseok they said you are. Understood?” You stared deep into his dozy eyes.

“I did not?”

“No. You did not. Not even touching those bodies.”

“I did not.” He repeated multiple times before his voice slowly changed again, as if some demon had consumed his mind. “I did not, you said?”

He laughed, he stood up, stretched his arms in a swift that it flew off your hands off the grip. He stepped forward, eyes stared deep into your eyes. Blood still dripping down his chin, staining the floor as he walked, cornering you to the desk behind.

“Hoseok...” you looked behind you. It was a dead end. You can’t turned to either your left of right because he now had you caged between his arms. He bowed as those strong arms supported his whole body. Your back arched before you gave up and had your arm bent, supporting your weight with your elbows. “This isn’t you.” You tried to stay calm.

He smirked. It was the worst smirk you’ve ever seen. His eyes contained nothing but anger and retaliation. His hand slowly traveled to your chin, pulling it up just to get your eyes and his on the same level.

“I know myself. It is me.” He caress your cheek as his eyes darted to your lips. “You know nothing about me, baby.” He tilted his head and brought it closer to you until you could feel his heavy breath on your ears and he whispered something which sent chills down your spine.

“Hoseok..” you called in almost sounded like a whisper.

His lips trembled as he formed another smirk and mouthed you a word. You pushed him back until his back hit the metal of his bed, so hard it would make a loud thudding noise. He bit his lips before he grunted out the stinging pain of his bone feeling snapped into pieces. He sat down on the floor, head leaned on the edge of the bed, arms fell loosely on either of his side. “This isn’t... you.”

You ran towards the door, eyes teary with a lot going in your mind. You swung the door open, leaving Hoseok to consume his pain alone just to found Mrs. Lincoln, Hyunwoo and Minhyuk stood there, as if they were waiting for you to come out by yourself.

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Hi, guys! I made a fake-chat Monsta X fanfic on twt if you guys want to take a rest from this heavy psychology/thriller story and shift to comedy/romance fic, just head to my twt @sterlingsoup and give it some love xo

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