azeez-olaide

[azeez-olaide]

Surviving the Storm

Surviving the Storm

By

Olaide Azeez

On 15 June, 2022, someone forwarded to me on WhatsApp the story of a lady called Joyce Vincent who presumably died in December 2003 and her death was not known to the world until January 2006 (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyce_Vincent). Books have been written and films have been made about her death to illustrate the type of world we all currently live in, all with different inferences. But I see her unfortunate death in a different way.

I see Joyce’s death from the prism of “misfortune of brilliancy”. By misfortune of brilliancy, I meant the usual tragedy that normally befalls the gifted ones when no one understands them, not to talk of being able to help them. Their counterparts, who are less gifted as they are, face challenges of life in a different way to these people. I do not know about the veracity of Joyce’s story as my good friend, Adewumi, pointed out to me while composing this piece. But I am still motivated enough to write this piece around her story because of my encounters with several gifted people in the past and my knowledge of how it has been very difficult for people to understand them despite their need of help. I am assuming Joyce was a very brilliant lady considering the number of important personalities, including Nelson Mandela, she was said to have met and interacted with, and the places she was said to have worked at, in her short life.

Everyone faces some challenges in life: the reason most human beings believe life is tough. Our challenges also vary in magnitude and intensity, perhaps depending on the level of our ability to cope with them as we are being tossed around by some unseen Force. The way people react to these challenges also vary. While many people indulge in one form of escapism or the other to drown some realities of life, others face these realities headlong. This is the very reason many people take into hard drugs, some other people absorb themselves in one form of entertainment or the other, and many other people seek solace in religious activities.

But brilliant people face additional stress in life because of inability of other people to really understand them! While their brilliance is usually noticeable within minutes of being with them, their internal strife usually goes unnoticed. The processing power of their brains are usually beyond what other human beings with less capability can comprehend. The problems of the brilliant ones are further compounded by the publicity their brilliance usually generates. Check the lives of personalities like Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, George Best, etc. and you would understand this point better. People usually gossip about their lives (to feed their own pride of knowing them or of knowing about their private lives) to the point this becomes additional stress in their lives; hence launching them into escapism such as taking hard drugs, engaging in drinking spree, or involvement in other socially reprehensive indulgence.  We got to know the stories of some of these people and similar ones because their private lives are publicised to the world. Others like them usually die in silence without anyone ever knowing about the frustrations they carry about. Such was the case of Joyce, and such were the cases of some of them I had been opportune to meet in life.

In 2015, I met an extremely brilliant Russian lady at a seminar in the UK. She remains the most brilliant lady I have met to date. Because of her display during the seminar (she almost took over from the person giving the seminar because of her expertise on the topic of discussion), I approached her at the end of the seminar and asked her if she could give me her email address for further meetings with her. She promptly wrote it down for me and suggested we could even meet at a café nearby for further discussion. And that was the beginning of our friendship. We talked about almost everything on earth, apart from personal issues (thank God she could understand my thick Nigerian accent, while her own accent too was clear enough for me to pick). Had I met this lady earlier in life, my personal choices would have been different!

Then the bombshell! A day to my final day in the UK, we arranged to meet for the last time in the same café where we first met. After so much ‘gist’ on the night, I looked straight into her eyes and said, “Liubov, do you know my fear for you? I am afraid you might have problems in marriage if you don’t have a man that can handle your intelligence!” Then I waited for her response, with some fear in me that I might have jeopardised a good relationship with a white lady we both have mutual respect. My fear increased as her response time kept longer than usual. Then I looked into her eyes and saw some tears welling up there! “I am sorry, Liubov, if I have uttered nonsense,” I quickly apologised for moving our discussion into private zone. “It’s OK, Azeez. Only that you have just touched the biggest problem of my life. Remember two years ago, when we were chatting on WhatsApp that I told you that year was my saddest year,” she finally responded. And when I told her that I could still remember our chats on the said night, she continued. “That year was the year I ended it all with my husband of 10 years. We were actually finalising court processes to separate our belongings, including our mortgage, when we were chatting that night. And you know what? Exactly what you feared for me was the reason for our breakup! It was like we were operating on different wavelengths throughout our married life. Unlike when I am with people like you and can talk and talk to no end, my communications with my ex- were usually not that smooth. And most of the time, he felt intimidated by my personality,” she concluded. I felt sad about what I heard and had to console her in my own little way before disappearing to continue the preparation for my journey the following day.

I could not ask Liubov the agitating question in my mind, “why did you marry your husband in the first place, when you knew there was a mismatch of intelligence quotients?” because I knew when it comes to the issue of love, the biological hormones in our bodies play major roles than in other situations! And when you are a brilliant person, there are some additional factors that may work against you in getting  ‘the love of your life’. Perhaps this was the reason Joyce could not have stable relationships throughout her life. And this was what drained Liubov emotionally throughout her 10 years of an unproductive marriage. That people don’t understand the makeup of brilliant people makes this life a living hell for most of them, despite the processing powers of their brains which then appear useless in solving their own problems. Their noble intentions are usually misconstrued by people around them.

I got a glimpse of what Liubov must have faced in life from my personal ‘tough’ encounter with her before our last meeting. Few weeks earlier, I had asked her to use her influence to help me secure a work placement in her IT firm where she was the Human Resources Manager. I told her I only wanted to hone my IT skills in a big company like hers and that I was not necessarily after any salary as I knew every company has recruitment policy. She asked me which programming skill I had, and I promptly responded that I could do some stuff with JAVA programming language. “Fine, Azeez, we are currently doing a project with JAVA and you could join the team to gain some experience. But let me inform my MD that I have a friend that wants to get some experience from working with our team and I would get back to you,” she enthused. A day after, she placed a call across and announced, “Azeez, you’re a lucky guy. My MD said ‘why not’ and that you might even get paid if your contribution is huge. But you have to send me your CV for proper documentation.” Then the drama began!

I had thought writing a CV and sending it to a friend who was the Human Resources Manager should be a no-brainer. But I was mistaken! When I edited the CV I considered the most appropriate for the post on my computer and forwarded it to her, she immediately replied the CV was not up to her standard and that I should re-write it.  I attempted to use templates from Microsoft Word, but yet she still rejected my final output. In frustration, I turned to paid CV ‘clinic’ on the Internet but retracted when I saw the cost and the possibility of exposing myself to online fraud with the procedure put in place. Then I returned to her, “Liubov, could you please send me a sample from your repository so that I could tailor mine to it?” The answer I got was a resounding “No”, as this, according to her “would be tantamount to giving impression that you cannot write an acceptable CV on your own at your level”. In the end, I started writing my CV from around 10:00 AM and my CV was not accepted by my “best friend in the world” until around 11:00 PM same day, when she shouted, in adulation, “you’ve now got one of the best CVs in the world ever written. Congratulations!” “You know it is a job I have done for many years. The CV you have managed to produce can fetch you a good job anywhere,” she added. And truly, when I showed the CV to some colleagues, they said it must have been one of the paid CVs on the Internet!

During my frustration of writing an acceptable CV for Liubov, I had checked her LinkedIn page again to know more about her and spent more time there on that occasion. The avalanche of fulsome praises by people who knew her directly (including one from her MD) sent a strong message to me. “This lady would not compromise on her standard,” a thought seeped through my mind. And this is where the rest of us usually complicate matter as regards our relationship with the gifted ones. These people usually want to make others as good as they are, if not even better, but their intentions are usually misinterpreted. The inferiority complex of others also ensures that the brilliant ones enjoy no peace at any time! “He is arrogant! She is a snob! She is selfish! She is a loner! He doesn’t listen to anyone! Nobody can convince him otherwise once he makes up his mind on issues!” These are some of the derogatory comments people usually make of the ‘enigmatic’ ones in our midst, when they are frustrated with their peculiarity. Joyce must have sought understanding of her siblings and other family members to no avail until one day she must have decided, “I want to live my life on my own”. Liubov must have sought understanding of her husband (in the same way I quickly understood her good intention in my CV writing exercise she gave me) for the whole 10 years they were together, and perhaps even sought the help of other individuals close to the family to intervene so as to preserve her marriage, all to no avail. There was no single person to correctly interpret her or her good intentions in the ill-fated marriage until the marriage went in the way of many of its type: dissolution!

If brilliancy is a ‘curse’, our recent attitude in modern world makes its effect more potent. Gone were the days of mutual interactions among human beings. Recent breakthroughs in technological innovations only add to the problems we face in social interactions. With technology giants like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and numerous others replacing human interactions with virtual existence, it appears our days of helping one another in this ‘tough’ life have gone and had gone forever! When you add billions of dollars accruing to these tech giants and their constant research in human psychology so as to sustain and ensure that we remain separated from ourselves (while they continue to amass billions of dollars in profits as a result), it appears we may need the intervention of some kind of unseen Hand to prevent imminent total collapse of human social order. Joyce was able to live that ‘long’ because of the absence of technology as we know it today in the year of her death. Had she lived till the year 2010 – the year everything fell apart at the seams due to introductions of innovative technologies the world had never seen before – she would have become another ‘empty’ human beings rejoicing on social media with her fake life while in real life being mentally exhausted and suffering from the opprobrium of fellow human beings.

Perhaps Joyce could have died in a different way in post 2010 years, possibly suffering from one of mental health illnesses common in today’s world for years before taking her own life, as many others have done due to lack of care from family and friends in a world we have created for ourselves! Liubov, the Russian brainy, was lucky to have a job where her intellectual capability was well appreciated. This helped her in smothering the effect of her being in a dull relationship for many years before the inevitability eventually took place. But for how long will humanity survive the conundrum it has put itself. In particular, how do we resolve the technological conundrum of the use of human intelligence to invent devices capable of making life easier for humans and the same devices invented by human ingenuity disrupting its social order?  

Humans are genetically wired to relate with one another to be able to live with peace of mind and in good state of mental and physical health. But the avalanche of modern gadgets has made humanity becomes a slave to its own invention, with the result that most human beings now cherish their gadgets or devices more than fellow human beings. This has created storms in people’s lives. Many marriages have broken up because of lack of proper communications between couples as each person gets attached to his or her gadget. The rat race to acquire the most sophisticated modern gadgets has created new forms of crime in societies around the world. The number of human beings with serious mental health issues have risen astronomically over the last couple of years, even as they still move around without seeking proper medical treatment. Yet humanity still moves around unperturbed, while clutching to their electronic devices tenaciously. And the storm rages on, destroying everything on its path! Then, how do we survive the storm created by modern existence? How could humanity possibly arrest the downward trend to a base existence not far from lower animals?

It is now clear to us that we cannot live without one another. It is also clear that all areas we have sought happiness could not give us the required happiness. Despite the availability of various cuisines from around the world dotting major cities in the world, with human beings now craving for food like never before, this has not brought the needed happiness! To confirm their descent to lower animal form, human beings are also involved in ubiquitous sexual activities, thinking that this will produce the required happiness. Again, this has not yielded any dividend for humans except ephemeral pleasure accompanied by sorrow later!

Humans are trying to dodge the reality of their own existence. Humans want to eat their cake and at the same time have it. As the Bible says, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon (riches).” Matthew 6:24. Humans cannot live a double life and expect happiness. Humans were created for a higher purpose. This is the reason humanity has been placed above other creations and given the ability to harness the forces of nature for its own use. There is a Higher Power without which humans cannot live in happiness! Whether humans, in their arrogance, accept this or not would not change this fact. It is in recognition of this Higher Power that makes humans to seek solutions everywhere for their problems. The ancients Greeks had different gods they consulted as occasions demanded. Thus, there were Greek god of war, Greek god of courage, Greek god of civil order, etc.

The India sub-continent and its neighbouring Asian nations also realised the existence of a Higher Power. Hence, they constantly approached their guru to help seek the face of their gods. Most Africans, despite their duplicitous claim of worshipping Allah or belief in Jesus as their Lord and Saviour, never ever abandoned their gods. While most pastors and Islamic clerics secretly sought the powers of their forefathers, the followers also approach these pastors and Imams for their “blessings” or in some cases sought this power directly from the source themselves! This is the way humanity has been conducting its affairs from time immemorial. But has this solved the problems of humanity? Not at all. This is because humanity has always sought wrong solution to its numerous problems. Humanity always wants to enjoy this world while also being troubled by their refusal to sincerely seek the Face of their Creator. But the Qur’an says, “Not for (idle) sport did We create the heavens and the earth and all that is between!” Qur’an 21:16. That is, human beings were created for a higher purpose.

Thus, surviving the storm of this life requires humanity returning to their Creator and following the laid down rules and regulations of their Creator in whatever way it is understandable to them. These rules and regulations are essentially similar in forms. For example, in Qur’an 49:13, humanity is addressed as follows: “O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).” This implies that mankind is created as one big brotherhood to be looking after one another, and no one should be discriminated against on the basis of the colour of their skin or spoken language. And the only ones that would be given special considerations by the Creator are those who work righteousness, and not those who are eager to show they are worshipping their Creator or even fighting for the Creator by killing others for insulting the Creator!

 Also, humanity is addressed in another way in the Bible thus: “Judge (condemn) not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5. Had humanity followed laws like these, instead of pedestalising the Messenger who brought the message, the much-deprived happiness humanity has been looking for would be theirs every time.

If human beings would for once retrace their steps, and obey their Creator, the much sought-after happiness would be theirs for the taking! They need to know that they were created to be their brothers’ keeper while collectively and sincerely seeking the Face of their Creator, the Lord of the Worlds. Until humans do this, all forms of escapism created by themselves and for themselves would not bring the needed happiness. And death similar to Joyce’s would continue to be a wake-up call, a reminder, that all is not well with our humanity, despite our technological advancement!

#submission

[azeez-olaide]

Afghanistan Debacle

On 15 August 2021, after days of quick victories, Taliban eventually swept into Afghanistan’s capital, Kabul, effectively ending nearly twenty years of internecine war in the country. Gone with this war are thousands of children, women, men, soldiers (both foreign and Afghan’s) and billions of dollars which would not have been given to Afghanistan in the absence of the war.

Now, the US, which led the invasion of Afghanistan in November of 2001 had abandoned Afghans to clear the mess created for them. For those who might have forgotten or those who were not yet born at the time of invasion, we need to know that Afghan’s invasion took place after the 9/11 incident and the reluctant of the Taliban leaders to release the then suspected major brain behind the terror on American soil, Osama bin laden. And this war, fought with modern-day high tech war machines, raged on for many years until that Sunday 15, August, 2021 when we could say the war has been won and lost.

But the scars of this war would linger for many years to come. From the surviving wounded soldiers, to many children orphaned for a reason they can’t yet understand, to the men and women who have lost one or more loved ones, to the Afghan economy that would take many years to recover, there is still much sorrow to follow despite the war ending most abruptly. Afghanistan is currently in need of the help of the whole world. Afghans have been decimated by wars for many decades, and even centuries. This is the time to help Afghans have some semblance of peace in  their lifetime.

With Taliban, it is doubtful whether this much needed peace can be achieved. This is where the world leaders must step in. We don’t want another war or a show of force in Afghanistan but a form of workable diplomacy. Islam, which the Taliban are so desirous to impose on people of Afghanistan is itself a religion of peace. In fact, it is emphatically stated in Qur’an, the Holy Book of Muslims, that “Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error...” (Qur’an 2:256). It is the duty of the Muslim world to appeal to Taliban to rule Afghanistan in such a way that Islam, the very religion they want people to live by its tenets, is not subjected to international ridicule. Islam has always been in the forefront of intense learning. Most of the scientific discoveries and early scientific investigations were made mostly by Muslims of the Islamic Golden Age before being exported to Europe and other parts of the world. So, Islam does not prohibit learning whether Western or local. And it is ludicrous for any ideology to be against the education of the girl child when it is known that the girl child develops into a woman who will train her children on how to live in a tough world! How an illiterate woman, deprived of what the modern world could offer, would raise a family that everyone would be proud of remains a big question to answer by any ideology that aims to confine women to their homes. Islam has never prohibited the education of women as Taliban now appear to be realising their numerous follies! The Muslim world must ensure that their religion is no longer the source of conflicts in the world. Islamic extremism has done much more damage to Islam than any Western propaganda against this religion had ever done! Yet there are many who believe that Islam provides the best path to a peaceful and egalitarian world if its adherents actually practise this religion.

The rest of the world will also need to support the people of Afghanistan in one way or the other. It is not enough for the US to run away after ‘achieving her objectives’, as pronounced by President Joe Biden. America created this mess in the first place and she must involve herself in the clearing of the mess. The whole world sympathised with America on 9/11. The whole world also demonstrated against the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq (another subsisting mess created by America) before these invasions. Yet America, together with her ‘collusion of the willing’  created the mess that the world has since grappled with and that has altered our world forever. But we cannot continue to brood over this forever. Mistakes have been made by all. However, we must ensure that the people of Afghanistan are not delivered into Taliban to be devoured again. We must ensure that Taliban follow international laws in governing their people. We must ensure that the Afghans live peacefully in Afghanistan and not refugees living in other nations against their will. And we must ensure that no people of other nations experience what people of Afghanistan have experienced in their chequered history. This should be our promise to the Afghans and to the people of our world.

by Olaide Azeez

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