awheckery

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i started doing things scared and doing things alone years ago the real challenge is doing things tired

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#it me #portrait of the artist as a perpetual nope #but also a pheasant #I think #pretty sure #birbs

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“my body is a temple” well MY body is the USS enterprise and let me tell you there are some inconceivable situations happening on board

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Holy shit, they got Voyager 1 working again!

15 billion miles away and NASA was able to tweak code packages on one of the onboard computers and it worked and Voyager 1 is sending signals back to earth for the first time since November.

Incredible!

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It's important to drink a lot of fluids when you're sick so that your body has the raw materials to generate gallons of snot.

#I legit got on tumblr specifically looking for the mucus post #thank you similarly unfortunate comrade #I'm out of juice and all I can taste is mucus #misery and war in the fucking body #sufferpunk life #stupid haunted devil body

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Nola Rose's Big Birthday Poll

This is Nola Rose:

She is my best girl, my babylove, my beloved little butt and my most precious evil eel, and in one week, she will be one year old!

Recently, I ordered her an Embark test, in the hopes of one day reuniting her with one of her siblings or other family members, and to maybe get an idea of what other health problems I could expect in the future.

I was not expecting any surprises on the breed front, because the rescue had Nola's original paperwork from her "breeders," indicating her mama was a brown Cocker Spaniel named Spruce, and her daddy was a registered blenheim Cavalier King Charles named Fellow. AND YET.

...and 7.2% something I did not expect at all. Full honesty, I don't see it, but maybe it explains a few things about her?

ANYWAY. For Nola's impending birthday, I thought it might be fun to survey other people, to see their best guesses at the third breed in Nola's genetic cocktail. I've pulled all poll options from an article on the most common breeds for Cavalier crosses, and additional photos and possible clues to her ancestry below the read more.

Starting from the top, BABY PHOTOS, of Nola Rose and the two sisters the rescue picked up from the puppy mill auction.

That photo of Nola on the left was the photo in her Petfinder listing, the one I saw by accident in the middle of the night that made me fall in love with her immediately. I honestly have no idea how she was the last of her siblings left to be adopted, but I will never not be desperately grateful.

Maybe it was because she had the dramatic eyebrows and mutton chops of a civil war general, I can't say. In more recent photos, you can see that the eyebrows and bushy cheeks have subsided, but the insanely luxurious eyelashes remain.

Her color has darkened immensely since I brought her home in August. She used to be a much lighter sable, and fully blonde on the top of her head.

Speaking of which, sable isn't a breed standard color in either Cavaliers or Cockers, and her ridiculously long chin beard (which you won't see in any of her photos because I have her groomer trim it off) doesn't appear in those breeds either. Coincidence?

At just shy of a year, she's hopefully maxed out at 18 pounds, and she's unbelievably leggy, with an outrageously long body and the deep chest of a racing dog. (She's also fast as hell, good god.)

Her fur is unbelievably silky, save for a coarser ruff over her shoulders and trailing down her spine, and her cocker-fluff booty feathers. Her back end was trimmed down substantially before the above photo. Her tail might be the softest part of her, and I love how it's both silky and curly.

Behaviorally... she's. Something.

Nola has the strongest prey drive of any dog I've ever met, including that time we babysat a rat terrier mix named Ella The Killer. Nola's little heart is so full of murder that I have to close curtains so she won't hurt herself trying to break through the windows to get at bunnies. She is a grand champion at "breaking the necks" of her toys by way of viciously shaking them.

Nola likes to burrow! She tunnels under blankets, rugs and throw pillows, and her favorite way to sit On A People is between our legs when we're in recliners. She likes to feel confined. She also deeply enjoys being held, and she asks to be picked up by my father at least once a day, even tho she's perfectly capable of jumping into his lap by herself now.

She LOVES to lie in the sun until her little body is radioactively hot and her mouth smells like hot rotting garbage, which is actually extremely weird, because she's our second sable dog in a row to have solar-powered halitosis and I'm not above begging people for answers. If you have a dog that has especially stinky breath after they've been in the sun, indoors or out, please talk to me because I'm dying for answers.

Ahem. What else.

Nola is disturbingly smart, and has no concept of obedience, but an excellent grasp of the concept of naughtiness. She knows exactly which items in the house are Forbidden, and which ones will get our attention the quickest if she takes or otherwise threatens them. She also knows the names of most of her toys and can distinguish between them when she's feeling cooperative.

Her favorite way to wake me up when it's time for work is to jump up on my bed, pounce on me, and oh-so-gently bite the tip of my nose. (I know I shouldn't encourage it but it's so sweet I may die.)

She investigates new people by aggressively sniffing their eyes.

She is my tiny daughter with every disease, but despite her allergies, and her asthma, and her megaesophagus, and her subluxated hip, she is the happiest, most delightful little being in all the world.

I lov her.

#darling #nola rose #dogblr #cockalier #with a secret something on the side #guess that breed! #poll #tumblr poll #my stuff #I genuinely can't believe she's almost a year old

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i hope you write (i hope we both write)

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there was a time in my life where I painstakingly trained myself out of using "likes" and "ums" for public speaking, and then when I started learning about like basic linguistics and shit I realized that fillers are completely normal and useful parts of language and now I use them even in text all the time. I feel like if anyone suggested that I should remove them from my speech at this point I would genuinely just be like "alright well you're not ready to engage with the topic I'm discussing yet."

until you stop needing communication & language to be just one specific way for you to view it as skillful, authoritative, persuasive, educated, etc. then you aren't prepared to engage in deeper conversations about language. if you can't handle "likes" and "y'know?"s then you certainly won't be able to handle the ways in which multilingual speakers can use one language's grammar while speaking in another, you won't be able to handle AAC, you won't be able to handle discussions with people with verbal tics or stutters... like you're not going to be able to engage with a lot of language and therefore your understanding of language is not going to be enough, currently, to really get into studying the ways in which power interacts with language or analyzing creative writing on a granular level of phrasing, word choice, punctuation, spacing

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If you fucks actually go through with not voting on your next USA president elections and subsequently lead Trump to power again.

Yes. Yes I'm going to blame every single American for that. Collective responsibility and all that jazz.

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still reading frankenstein and i completely forgot that theres a part where victors wrapping up doing devious deeds on a sparsely inhabited island off the shore of england and he loads all his mad scientist shit into a rowboat and pushes off into the water and then fucking falls asleep with no navigational tools and when he wakes up hes like, adrift with no land in sight and hes like ‘FUCK my creation!!!!!’ even though the monster had absolutely nothing to do with getting him lost in the middle of the fucking english channel and he starts lamenting about how hes going to die and his family is never going to see him again and hes going to go to davey jones locker or whatever because hes been without potable water in a rowboat for like 4 hours and then he sees land and hes like ‘oh thank god im saved!!!’ and he gets to shore and is met with an angry mob who thinks he murdered someone and hes like ‘but where is english hospitality?????’ and theyre like ‘this is ireland you dumb slut’ and as theyre marching him to the magistrate hes like ‘i was still thirsty but did not want to show my weakness……’ like could you even imagine

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#LISTENNNNNNN #Y'ALL HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA #the degree of generational trauma and predisposition to #'I Don't Like This And I Will Absolutely Make It Everyone Else's Problem' #in my mother's family is insane #I've worked SO HARD to overcome my destiny of Raging Bitch With Personality Disorder #it's taken fifteen years of therapy to learn how to be assertive without ruining someone else's life #and yet. thank fuck for the aro ace thing because I don't have the temperament to be a partner or parent #mood #art installation #portrait of the artist as a perpetual nope #sufferpunk life

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i wrote "if im not gay until i like a girl then im not straight until i like a guy" in my diary when i was 14 and i think about it again from time to time

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#RUDE #portrait of the artist as a perpetual nope #sufferpunk life

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well, you see, it's very simple. coronabeth always wanted to occupy naberius's position but was forced to occupy ianthe's. ianthe got jealous of corona's position and dealt with this by fusing her own soul with naberius. naberius liked coronabeth better but had more in common with ianthe, with whom he shared roughly zero common interests. coronabeth and ianthe spent every day together for 21 years, and during that time developed absolutely no ability to empathize with each other. no one really understood corona like naberius did, which is to say that no one really understood corona. corona tried to understand ianthe, except no she didn't. no one even attempted to understand naberius. naberius was corona's cavalier in his heart, and she was ianthe's cavalier in her heart, and ianthe said fuck you both and became her own cavalier. they had all known each other their entire lives. none of them knew each other at all. they were all sworn to protect and uphold at least one other member of the group. none of them particularly liked either of the others as people. the only one taking this seriously was ianthe. the only one taking this seriously was coronabeth. the only one taking this seriously was naberius. and they all, most importantly, fucking sucked. but god, who wouldn't?

#the locked tomb #spoilers for cb #the third house clusterfuck

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Bringing this back from last year, something I'd forgotten to say before is, if you're submitting a paper tax return, please, PLEASE, sign it.

If you're that afraid of numbers and you don't do anything else besides put your name and address at the top, if you sign the return, in person with ink on the paper, then include all your other tax documents, we can do everything else. You might not get every deduction you should, but we will do your return for you for free.

Since 2019, the signature line has always been on the second page, and there's a designated area specifically for signing. It's under a small print paragraph that starts, "Under penalty of perjury..." It will say SIGN HERE to the left of the signature lines.

Despite the clear indications that's where you're supposed to sign, I see at least a hundred returns a week where folks just straight up didn't do that.

If you don't sign your return, you don't just get a letter, you get the entire return back, and you don't get any credit for having filed until the return comes back to us with a signature in the right place. About a third of the time, the returns that do come back either aren't signed, or they're signed in the wrong place, and I can't fix that, even if there's a cranky letter.

For people with anxiety about filing taxes, here’s what things that happen when you make a mistake on your tax return:

- it gets corrected

- you get a letter in the mail either asking for some additional information or a letter showing the adjustment

- you pay the amount (there’s options for payment plans too!) or get a refund

Things that do not happen

- you’re “in trouble”

- you are charged with fraud

- you go to jail

I know that most people are probably just joking/exaggerating when they say a mistake on their return means they get thrown in jail but when I worked with the public I always would encounter people who believed that would happen and they would be panicking about it. So I like to put this out there every year because if I can even prevent one person from feeling that way, it’s worth it

#pls don't send cranky letters btw #they never help your cause #I have to read everything a taxpayer attaches to their return #and it doesn't behoove you to namecall when you've sent the same form back twice #signed on every page except in the spot the signature's supposed to go #ESPECIALLY don't send a cranky letter if you've fucked up the jurat #(aka the perjury statement) #that can and will make the difference between getting neutral correspondence #and your return getting sent to friv #which will mean you get the scary ass threatening correspondence #work stuff #irs #taxes

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found in LIFE Magazine (Jan 25, 1960)

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shes so

update: