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avnillae · 10 months

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[teo]

You wiped away at the bile that had pooled from your lips, Jesus Christ, it didn’t take long.

You hastily plucked yourself from the lawn and hoisted your body to the cold sidewalk before gingerly setting yourself onto the curb.

You can’t keep doing this.

“Aw, come on, you’re no good at having any fun !” The jeers and snickers following behind you tauntingly.

You shut your eyes and rubbed at your temples in an attempt to alleviate the spinning. Lifting the other arm, you raised your middle finger in response, earning more chuckles from the group.

An arm wrapped around your neck pulling you in closer to the source of your ridicule, “The night’s still young, don’t tell me you’re chickening out on me already, doll.” His hot breath tinged with the scent of booze and mint gum lingered against your flushed ear.

“You wish.” You pushed away, earning an ‘ooh’ from the others behind you two.

“Atta(girl/boy) ! That’s the spirit, let’s go,” He peeled you off the pavement and onto your feet.

“We still have so many other places to be!”

You trudged alongside the group, eventually finding yourself in some random club, the air stricken with the scent of liquor and warm with the heat of continuous swaying bodies.

It was always the club, the bar, a pub, a friend of a friend’s house, maybe a kickback or bonfire, whatever nightly routine it was.

Every night was the same, a repeat of the last.

More and more bleak each weekend.

—

“Ew !” an exaggerated bellow of disgust began,

“Teo ?? No way, what ?? Seriously ??”

You mentally scolded yourself for even bringing it up to Moth in the first place.

“I know.”

“Eww… Well… does he live up to his reputation ?”

You snorted, swiveling around your chair covering your flushed face.

You can’t believe you’re even admitting this.

“Someone’s curious, why not try him out yourself ?” You teased, Moth gagged.

“Ya right, I’m lonely but not that lonely.”

You gasped, “Rude !”

“I’m just saying.. if he’s really as awful as you make him out to be.”

You finally stopped your spinning to lean back in your chair, with closed eyes and a deep breath you finally brought your microphone close to your lips,

“All I’ll say is..”

—

It was rare to see him in class, if ever.

You felt his large hand snake it’s way to your thigh, your breath hitched and you snapped your attention to him with a pointed glare.

Seemingly oblivious or otherwise unbothered, his gaze was fixed to the phone in his hand.

You opened your mouth to protest, but felt his hand knead your inner thigh causing your face to burn hotter than before, you choked back your words.

You tore your attention away from him and quickly scanned the area to see if anyone around had taken notice.

Unless others were feigning ignorance, his actions had gone unnoticed.

Deciding to just ignore him and focus on the lecture, his hand was unrelenting, creeping ever so close

It wasn’t until his hand brushed against the opening of your pants that you froze.

With bated breath, debating whether or not to let him continue, you indulged. hesitantly spreading your legs a little wider to allow him access.

Wasting no time, his fingers slipped through your zipper, rubbing against your clothed sex.

Haphazardly following along with the lecture

You grabbed his wrist with your free hand, pinning him in place before rocking slowly on his fingers.

Almost.

His fingers writhed inside of you, you sighed and huffed, trying your best to resist the moans crawling out your mouth.

‘Trying’, feebly.

A loud gasp accompanied your wave of arousal, you fought against the twitching of your undoing and quickly cupped your hand over your mouth in an attempt to conceal any other explicit noises escaping.

Heads turned and eyes peering, you felt the blood creeping from your neck to your ears, you cleared your throat and awkwardly returned to your studies after mumbling a small sorry.

Sneaking a glance to the man beside you, all you could see was the smug grin plastered on his face as he continued to scroll on his cell phone.

—

“You know you could have anyone.” He remarked with a shit eating grin, leaning back into his seat with bleary eyes.

He knew just the words to butter you up.

“You and I both know you don’t really believe that.” You huffed, tilting your head and downing another glass.

This was how it always went.

And like always, you were ruined.

Hastily undressing one another in the backseat of his car, your head was swimming. His hands grazed against your bruised thighs from the nights prior, you let out a small wince at the contact.

It was like this nights repeating.

Hushed breathing fogging up the windows and the harsh winter air threatening to spill in, you pulled him closer to your body.

Exchanging body heat in a back seat with a man you could hardly stand or stomach.

You knew it wouldn’t last, and it wouldn’t be anything serious.

The next day you’d both act like nothing happened.

Maybe that’s why it was easier to be with him.

There was no room for confusion. Almost like an unspoken agreement between you two.

You bit back the urge to comment on the hickeys littering his neck and collarbones, they most certainly weren’t from you.

It’s not like he was yours, nor did you particularly care to have him.

If it were a strange sick game, you’d probably say it was his way of keeping score.

Who really wins in this situation ?

Still,

slut.

He laughed, his breath causing you to squirm slightly underneath him,

“You wouldn’t want me any other way”

—

You peered at the girl wrapped around his arm, you remember her from one of your classes.

Olivia, was it ?

You couldn’t describe the feeling, wanting to stay indifferent you pushed aside the irritation you felt simply by looking at her.

Maybe you felt sick, why were you upset by this? If anything, you should redirect your irritation towards Teo.

The both of you were in the same predicament, didn’t she realize ? Or did she just not care ?

Not that you cared either, you reminded yourself.

“Anyways, I came to pick up my sweater, but..”

You eyed the snared girl, her watching your gaze before realizing it had landed on her figure.

The same one enveloped in your all too familiar fabric.

Instead of apologizing and returning it to its rightful owner, she simply twisted her lips upwards and snickered.

“I see that’s it been… used.”

—

Pulling away from the driveway, you didn’t even bother watching his car zip away anymore.

Probably onto the next.

It shouldn’t bother you, you weren’t dating. You’ll never be in a real relationship. The basis for one had been ruined too many nights ago.

Locking the door behind you, you kicked off your shoes.

Your phone was dead, but there wouldn’t be a real reason to charge it.

It wasn’t likely you’d get a text from him anyway.

You slumped onto your bed, the sheets enveloping your sore body. A deep sigh escaping you.

You can’t keep doing this.

.000

*his whiskey toned eyes were intoxicating, your head was swimming before but now you were practically drowning

*it was no use. there wasn’t any escaping or hope for salvation.

*you welcomed your ruin with open arms.

#14 days with you #14dwy #eeeee a lil ting for the raccoons 🦝#it’s me im the mapache #🦝🦝🦝#teo #teo 14dwy #does anyone read these #idc publishing bc im tired of hoarding drafts if it doesn’t make sense o well

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avnillae · 10 months

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you know how at the end of the awakening, the main character walks into the ocean and drowns herself ? i understand now

#avi rambles

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avnillae · 1 year

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hey guy, im running away now, please eat your heart out ♡

#or don’t #it’s none of my business :0

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avnillae · 1 year

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[redacted]

trazadone, ambien, nembutal.

the father, the son, and the holy spirit.

god only knows where you’d be if you hadn’t willed yourself into damn near hibernation.

you crawled out of bed, stepping onto the cold linoleum floor, a few cracks and pops along the way to the restroom.

How long had it been since you last left the house?

How long had it been since you last were awake, was the better question ?

it didn’t matter anyway, it could be New Years or Thanksgiving, it made no difference to you.

the better half of your days were spent lying in bed, watching the small window in your room illuminate with bright hues of sunlight slowly descending into the dark shades of the evening.

once you were awake, you’d do the minimum to survive. grab a glass of water, force yourself to eat whatever was left in the fridge, check your emails, complete whatever corporate sent to you, then after you’ve decided you’ve seen enough, you’d crawl back into the comfort of your duvet, say your nightly prayers, and rock yourself back into heaven.

you can’t remember how it got to this point, you had to have had dreams or ambitions before, you had to have had some semblance of a personality before you became this husk of a person.

should it have bothered you, you would’ve gotten up and maybe flushed those pills away and set yourself straight.

should it have.

as sad as it was, you couldn’t imagine a life without them. actually, you couldn’t imagine anything really. everything requiring even a modicum of energy or thought tired you out. even leaving to get out of bed was asking too much of your body if you were being honest.

everything was all too much, better to lay in bed, sleep was your only comfort in life. if you had it your way, you’d sleep for years. hidden away from the world, from the judgemental gaze of it all, from the whispers and gossip, from the looks of pity on their faces.

from everyone.

you’d have probably gotten away with it too had you not made the mistake of entertaining pleasantries.

“I’m just really worried about you, you know?” She’d say, desperately swatting away at the layer of dust that had accumulated around the place.

“You never leave the house anymore, one of these days I’m scared that..”

that she’d walk in and see my dead body on the mattress.

“Have you been watering Odelia?” She interrupted herself, letting herself roam into your bedroom where odelia sat.

odelia was the name she’d given to the orchids.

she said you needed structure in life, and that having something that depended on you would give your life purpose.

you jokingly suggested you adopt a baby together, which she pouted and said she already has a dozen of those at home.

she’d meant the greenhouse, of course.

In a way she was right, in between the lucid haze and slumber, you’d always be sure to water and prune when necessary.

“What kind of [father/mother] do you take me for?” You quipped, draping your body across the couch. The plastic crinkled softly underneath you.

Huh, when was the last time you sat on here..when was it that you bought this couch anyway ? Must’ve been when you first moved in, what was that now, maybe a few months ago? It felt like years.

“One that should have the decency not to smoke in the house when there are children present !” Violet snatched the cigarette from your mouth, stomping it on the floor.

‘Children’.. the blossom of orchids waver in the wind.

She disliked the cigs, she disliked your reclusiveness, she disliked that all you had to eat in your fridge were velveeta slices and hummus. She’d complain, but always begrudgingly stock it during your comas.

Or atleast you think she did, how else would there be food in there when you woke up ?

Strange, you don’t remember giving her keys to your apartment though. To be fair, you couldn’t remember much these days, it could’ve been you yourself for all you knew.

It’s like you were married at this point, hell you even had a plant together. You just couldn’t win.

“Listen, a few friends from the flower shop and I are going out tonight.”

“Are these friends of yours human or plant?”

“Har har, c’mon!! Come out with us !”

You stirred slightly, on top of the general social isolation you’ve also isolated any semblance of hygiene.

When was the last time you shaved ? or even… brushed your teeth ?

you cupped your hand in front of your mouth and did a quick sniff test.

yikes ! at least you were single, or vi would find you and your lover dead on the scene

“Ewww, did you seriously just do that in front of me ?” Violet grimaced, shivering in disgust.

“Come on, we’re getting you cleaned up.” She tugged at your hand, peeling you away from the cushions. despite her small stature she was surprisingly strong.

“Who knows?.. maybe we’ll find you a boyfriend or something~” she giggled, leading you back into the restroom.

Upon arriving at the joint, you immediately regretted stepping foot outside. The noise, the traffic, the people. Who knew being in public would be so… public.

Walking in, you were greeted with a wave, their booth at the end. Violet rushed ahead and hugged them, you following closely behind.

Violet quickly introduced you to the group, you gracefully waved and said your hello’s.

The others welcomed you warmly, they were friendly enough. Still felt out of place though, soon enough they suggested karaoke. The group lit up, discussing what songs to sing. You took this moment to excuse yourself for a smoke break.

Stepping out you walked through the group crowding the entrance and stepped far enough to the side as to not impose any second hand smoke on some innocent pedestrian.

Fishing out your pack, you flipped open the box to discover that none were to be found. Violet must’ve stepped out the last one, you screwed your eyes shut holding back tears as you mentally scolded your plant child Odelia for forcing you to be a responsible parent.

Noticing a figure to your right, you turned to face them. A lanky one, leaning against the building, they were silent, a baggy hoodie obscuring most of their face. They distanced themself, their hood slipping to reveal a young boy with piercings. You bit down on your lip, hesitant to bother them. You decided to nonetheless.

“you have a smoke ?” You asked him, ducking your head underneath the hood covering his face.

if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he seemed surprised to hear your voice, “S’not my thing..” he muttered, shifting his gaze away

You frowned, “how about a j then?” You joked, mimicking a roll between your fingers, pretend blowing clouds.

The stranger pushed away from their spot against the building, their posture betraying their height. He stared at you, or more like towered down at you, your body froze, you could’ve sworn you saw a small smile on his face.

“How ‘bout a drink, hm?”

You lit up, linking arms with the boy. “Now you’re talking ! Gosh, why didn’t you offer sooner ?” You nuzzled up against him, he was. a lot more muscular than the clothing let on. You could feel his body tense as he turned to cough into his fist.

Was he blushing..? Well, I guess you were clinging onto some stranger, they had the right to be flustered after being groped on by some rando.

You quickly let go of their arm, mumbling a sorry which he replied to with an ‘s alright, his eyes boring onto the menu, you awkwardly leaned against the counter, sandwiched in between the dozens of other people at the bar.

The hours spent sleeping had unsurprisingly crippled you in social situations.

What do normal people say in these situations?

“What d’you want to drink?”

You snapped back to reality, “Hm?” Shit. What did you want to drink ? Did you even like alcohol ?

“Surprise me.”

He raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a certain white haired plantaholic.

“[Y/n] ! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” She exclaimed, before eyeing your company, “And you’ve made a friend…” she muttered.

He glanced between the two of you, “Name’s -“

“Violet! Shouldn’t you be wrangling your coworker back in?” You motioned behind her to the drunken mess of a serenade being sung to a stranger by her friend. They were practically on their knees, holding onto the legs of a bystander, bawling out the lyrics to some cheesy love song, ‘Fade e e e into youuuuu!!!’

She gasped, “I’ll be right back, ok?!”, quickly dropping her hold on you to escort her coworker out of the building.

“…Charming.”

You returned to the boy beside you. A sheepish smile on your lips, “I’m sure they’re not like that…all the time… I hope..” You started losing confidence by the end of the sentence.

He let out a small laugh, watching as you sipped down on the drink the bartender had placed in front of you. He nodded in thanks, the bartender whisking away to another patron.

It was flat.. and flavorless. It was water.

“You hope?” He questioned, your eyes widened as you realized what you had said.

“I- It was actually my first time meeting them..” you awkwardly laughed, now it was your turn to avert your gaze.

“I don’t really leave the house… that often..” you admitted, shifting uncomfortably. Was it always this hot in here, the air never felt so suffocating.

“Oh yeah? How come?”

How come ? How do you explain to a stranger that you’d rather sleep for a hundred years than have to interact with another human being on this earth ? Is this what agoraphobia is, geez you were so lame now.

“Just never… had a reason to I guess.” You sipped at your water, hoping to hide your creeping shame inside the cup.

He eyed you silently while you drank, before leaning in closer, “How ‘bout we get out of here then, yeah?” His hot breath grazed your ear, causing you to squirm slightly. An action not gone unnoticed, you pursed your lips together before giving a meek nod. He gave you a small smirk as his fingertips grasped at your wrist leading you away from the commotion.

Am I about to sleep with a stranger ? When was the last time you’ve gotten laid?? Fuck, your mind went blank, curse you valium, my memory is basically as good as a geriatric with dementia.

Noticing your silence, the boy spoke up.

“S’not far now, “ You let out a small hm, he pointed a slender painted finger at the building ahead , “my place.”

his fingers were so long, decorated with silver rings.. you felt your face heat up. I wonder if I’ll be able to feel it inside me..

god you felt like a loser, getting so worked up over something so stupid. you refocused your attention to the sidewalk, following the boy.

Before the door had even shut, your body was pinned up against the wall. His lips ravaging your neck, you could feel the spikes from his piercings push against your skin. You let out a small gasp at the jewelry, your hands instinctively grabbing onto his shoulders for stability.

As embarrassing as it was, it had been awhile since you had last hooked up with a stranger like this. You forgot how aggressive it could be, but in another way, to have someone so desperately grab at your body, it left you breathless.

Pulling away from your neck, their lips drew near yours, dangerously drawing closer and closer until you could feel one another’s breath. His half lidded gaze focused on your lips flickering to your eyes, your stomach flipped, unsure if you were having withdrawals at this point.

You’ve never had someone look at you that intensely, you started feeling shy underneath him. His hands found themselves under your shirt, caressing your sides as your back arched in turn.

It tickled.

Your bodies all the more closer, chest to chest. You swallowed dryly, tearing away from his eyes. you timidly slid your hand resting on his shoulder to hold his face in place, you press your lips against his cheek, lingering a few seconds before kissing him again, lower this time, near his jawline.

He stiffened, moving to face you, you held his face a little more firmly in place. Continuing to plaster kisses along his face and neck. You ran your tongue along his soft skin before biting down gently on his earlobe. His breathing had become heavy.

You felt pressure between your thighs, his knee rubbing against you. You let out a sharp hiss, burying your face against the crook of his neck.

“How embarrassing…” you mumbled, feeling your face heat up as you could feel your slickness pressed against you. To get this wet just from him touching you, you haven’t even really kissed and here you were.

It’s been awhile, you rationalized, having been so heavily medicated you hardly had the energy or really the urge to engage in this sort of thing. maybe that’s why it was harder to contain yourself, you deluded.

not that you wanted to contain yourself, or anything.

His chuckle vibrated against your body, reverberating throughout your skull causing you to bury yourself deeper.

“So wet just f’me..” he cooed, pressing against you harder. You let out a whimper, your body hot and aching, rolling your hips instinctively. You held onto his body closely, panting.

“Look at you grinding against me” He teased, rubbing painfully slow against your heat. “I’ve barely even touched you and I’ve already got you so hot ‘n bothered” he lifted your shirt, further exposing yourself to him.

You were mush at this point, the pills may have messed with your memory, but you knew for certain that you had never felt as sensitive as you had in that entryway.

His hands squeezed at your chest, his mouth enveloping. You bit your lip, trying to stifle your moans. Fuck. You could feel every flick of his skillful tongue against your skin. He bit down lightly against the bud, you leaned into him harder. Your body practically pinned against his knee and chest.

You desperately ran your hands under his shirt, feeling around his toned body. He pulled away, much to your dismay, tutting at you.

“If you want more, you’ll have to ask first.” He grinned, how evil.

“I..” you squirmed, tears welling in your eyes from humiliation or overstimulation you couldn’t say. You pulled him closer to you, hiding your face from his, you weakly uttered,

“I want you.” You felt your face light ablaze.

“Please let me touch you.” Your heart thumped wildly, you could practically hear it at this point.

It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds that had passed by, the air thick with tension.

His hands desperately pulling and tearing at your clothes, you gasped feeling the cold air graze your skin. His warm hands quickly returning to their place on your body, this time you felt his fingertips run along your chest to your neck.

His hand forcing you to look at him, his thumb swiped across your lower lip, you parted your lips gliding your tongue against his digit. He groaned, replacing his knee with his pelvis instead. You gasped, feeling him.

He pushed his thumb deeper into your mouth. you raised your eyes to meet his, your lips wrapping around him tightly while you sucked. he wavered, thrusting hopelessly against you.

Impatient, you grasped at his belt. following your movement, he used his free hand to unbuckle his belt and pulled down his pants. Right as he was about to pull down his briefs, you pulled him away from your mouth to stop his hands.

He looked at you inquisitively, “We don’t have t’go any further if —“

“No, I- I want to, I just..” you could feel the heat creep up your neck, “Can you kiss me?” You asked innocently.

He stared at you, dumbstruck before a genuine laugh had escaped him. You fidgeted, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Please?”

His eyes softened, his smile still present. He nodded. Cupping your face, he leaned in pressing his lips against yours.

It was gentle, a contrast from before. You hadn’t noticed earlier, but he was shaking. It didn’t occur to you that you weren’t the only one nervous.

Had he been as anxious as you had this whole time ?

He hid it well.

Feeling his hand slide to your waist, your bodies had been pressed against each other deepening the kiss.

You finally mustered enough courage to reach lower. Slipping past his waistband, you gripped his length. He groaned, you could barely wrap around him, you squeaked.

It was pierced.

You felt along the barbells, silently counting how many he had, you gently stroked him, “um..does..” you started, he had perked up,

“does it hurt.. when i do this.. or?” you quietly asked.

he gave you a reassuring kiss, “feels..good.” he guided your hand, tightening your grip and quickening your pace.

your heat growing hotter as you watched him stroke himself with your hand, you bit down on your lip, he was so much bigger than you’d imagined.

“What does it feel like?”

You inadvertently blurted, mentally kicking yourself for musing aloud.

He licked his lips, reveling in your panic.

“I could show ya.” He purred, his free hand pressing against you.

Finally, some relief, you had been built up to the point where if he wanted he could easily slip in and you’d come undone.

What an amateur, you scolded yourself, it was like your first all over again. It wouldn’t have even been that far off, you’d only had slept with maybe two other people before. If you could even consider it sleeping with others, the first kissed you once and slipped in maybe three pumps before peeling off you and returning to the party.

Your first.

The other..

unremarkable, you must’ve been on noctec then, you couldn’t feel a thing, but remember faking an orgasm before crying in the shower afterwards. You got off noctec the next day, it made you sick anyway.

Maybe that’s why you felt so needy, you’ve never had someone toy with you like this. It felt so new, you wanted more.

“Did.. you want me from..behind or.. is this.. ok?” You asked nervously, how much more awkward could you get, about to turn when he stopped you.

He laughed, “Relax, angel. Lemme take care of ya..”

He kissed you once more, releasing your grip on him before he drifted lower.

On his knees, he looked at you with that same playful glint he had at the bar. He slid the fabric covering your mess, the cold air sending a chill down your spine as you were finally exposed to him.

Good thing I shaved, you thought to yourself.

He kissed your thighs, sucking and leaving gentle bites in his wake.

There’d be marks tomorrow, you were sure.

“If it makes you feel better… this is my first time..” he muttered, before enveloping your warmth. You gasped, there’s no way.

“W-wait..” you choked out, his mouth unrelenting against your slickness. It felt too good, you felt your hands curl around his locks, pushing him further into yourself.

“S-shouldn’t er — w-wouldn’t you want to do this s-someone” you moaned, your thighs squeezing against the sides of his heads. His tongue expertly lapping at you, you panted, the tears welling up again. Fuck, it feels too good.

You don’t know how much longer you could last, “Wouldn’t you want to do th-this with someone special instead ?” You quickly breathed out. His eyes met yours, continuing with his assault.

You bit down on your finger, feeling yourself on the brink. you writhed desperately before you felt a finger prod at your entrance. He pulled away, his finger replacing his tongue. You returned your grasp on his shoulder as he pumped in and out of you

you forgot how to breath. he inserted another, licking up the stray wetness.

“but you take me so well baby..” he side glanced at your hole tightening around him with each pump, “makes me wanna fuck you..” he buried his face into your plump thighs.

Feeling a third, you hissed. Clenching tighter around his fingers you let out a loud cry.

“F- fuck, s-so full, I can’t- I’m going to-”

You twitched, trembling as you came, your body shaking with your climax.

Your limbs felt heavy, almost falling limp until he pinned your hips against the wall.

“You’re not tapping out on me now, are ya?” He growled, prodding at your entrance.

“We’re just getting to the good part~ ♡”

You bit back a moan, feeling him enter your body. You gripped at his shirt,

one rung, two, three

you lost track, still too fuzzy from the first orgasm, you felt his piercings rub against your insides.

“How’s it feel hm?” He hummed sadistically, bottoming out. His full length inside your warmth, throbbing against your walls.

You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out only small gasps and groans making their way.

He chuckled, savoring the look on your face as he fucked you.

“T’me..” he thrusted, his hips practically grinding against yours, he leaned down closer to your ear so only you could hear.

“You’re as special as it gets.”

#shakign cryign idk how to write smut #i can’t do thISSS *rips out hair and eats it*#ughghghhgh #my back hurts so bad omg I’m rocking back and forth I googled nipple synonyms just for it to tell me teat TEAT uwavsjdnrbnr #i just wanted to see what it would be like..#14dwy #14 days with you #ren #redacted #cw substance

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avnillae · 1 year

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ok guy, ill be marinating in my drafts maybe ill post something again in five years byeee !!

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avnillae · 1 year

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Cannibal! Angel

. you’d been anxious the day prior, eager maybe, but the hunger overcame the fear in the grand scheme of things

. you made sure to leave no traces, no amateur google searches, no open discussion or hypotheticals to raise eyebrows or questions on any online subreddits, you played the scene out continuously, repeatedly, obsessively for months in your imagination

. every what if scenario with meticulous solutions, you’d get away with it with this much preparation

. the only question would be how to prepare it once it. happened, but you figured if home chefs could whip up something delicious with liver or chicken hearts on the cooking game shows you’ve mindlessly indulged in, flesh would be no different

. if you could even wait to prepare and cook the skin

. you chewed on your nails, the skin around it inevitably finding its way between your teeth, pulling away at the metallic taste eventually flooding your lips, you stared and watched as the crimson ran from your thumb to your forearm.

. it was mesmerizing in a way, how beautiful the shade of red could be

. a universal shade unique to the living and past tense thereof

. you wanted to bathe in it, to be submerged in others

. an act so private, so intimate, so utterly inviting

. you’d reprimand yourself had you cared anymore, your patience had run thin, your body shaking with adrenaline

. with the ring of the doorbell, you stood at attention, in anticipation, a grin plastered on your face as you unlocked the door to greet your unsuspecting date

“Hey ! Welcome in, I’m so happy to see you !” You greeted them with a brazen hug, causing the other to blush profusely, “Thanks for having me, I was surprised when you said you wanted to meet again.. I thought I had blown it the other day..” they laughed meekly.

. They had, had you been a normal sane person, you’d have never met up with them again. But once it came down to it, they were the perfect victim.

. Oblivious, willing, pathetic to the point of being absolutely pitiful.

. Pitiful, it was no surprise they were infatuated with you, you felt sorry for them.

. Sorry that you’d never feel the same level of intensity for another, sorry that you couldn’t form meaningful connections with others, sorry that you were different from them, sorry that you had this need that gnawed at your insides begging and pleading for you to do the same to others.

“What ?! No way, I thought I was the one who blew it, I felt bad with how things ended I know I wasn’t the most.. welcoming.” You grasped at their coat, helping them out of it, your hands purposely lingering across their broad shoulders a moment too long, a shiver racked down their spine which they quickly excused as it being ‘cold outside’ a small smile was exchanged.

. If you were being honest, the first outing consisted of you sitting there counting down the minutes spent as they had blabbered on and on about financing and how much they had saved in 401 and IRA accounts. Strange given since you’re both in your early twenties, but you digressed. At the end, they walked you to your car, with not a full sentence having come out of your mouth besides “yeah? crazy ! no way!?” the entire date.

. Awkwardly rubbing their head, they looked at you with expectant eyes and a small lean, of course they’d want a kiss.

. Much to your dismay, you had leaned in as well. The things we do in the name of love and all such things, if only you could feel such a thing.

. Had this gone another way, you knew you’d be secured had you married.

. But it hadn’t.

“Au contraire, mon amie, you were simply divine..” They purred turning to face you as you hooked their coat away. “No other woman has been able to keep up intellectually in conversation such as you,” Because yes and ya are apparently genius and innovative, “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more.”

. Right, you pulled a tight smile, wrinkling your eyes downwards, partway in attempt to appear bashful another to hide the disgust in your eyes.

“You flatter me,” You grasped at their wrist, “But enough about that, let me get you a drink!” You sauntered ahead, feeling their gaze over your form, nauseated, leading them away from the doorway.

“This is a nice place you have, how much do your folks pay for it?” You heard, as you reached into the cabinets and pulled out two modestly sized wine glasses.

“My folks?” Pouring tawny in both cups, you mentally cursed at yourself for using the good wine on this swine.

“Yeah, like your ma and pa, you can’t seriously pay for this place on your own.” Turning, you followed their voice onto the plush cushions of the settee before handing them their glass, you let out a strained laugh.

“I’d be lying if I said I did this on my own, but it’s because of them that we were able to meet in the first place.” And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t, but they didn’t need to know that. It wouldn’t matter anyway.

“To us.” They raised their glass, “To us.” You joined, clinking your cups together.

. It wouldn’t be long now.

. Sipping gracefully on the cherry wine, you eyed your date as the gulped down the entire glass.

. With a content sigh, they placed down their glass onto the table ahead. “A little sweeter than the usual I’m accustomed to.” They giggled, loosening their tie, a pink hue coloring their cheeks.

How cute.

“Oh?” You cooed, as you placed your glass aside theirs.

. You shifted, carefully closing the gap between you two, “Is it sweeter than me?” Eyes peering, you fixed into straddling their lap, their breath hitched, watching as your hands slid against their chest before you grasped hold of their tie. Pulling them forward, your lips hung dangerously close to theirs.

. Their hands cautiously placed themselves against your thighs, their gaze fixated on your stained rosy lips.

“Well… I’d have to have another taste before I can say for sure..” They murmured, closing in on the space between your lips.

. Disgusting disgusting disgusting

. You could taste the faint menthol from their cigarette they must’ve had a few minutes prior to your meeting, the taste of the alcohol, which wasn’t even that bad had it not been wasted on someone who was going to die in a few minutes.

. Nevertheless, your body pressed against theirs, your grasp on the fabric loosened leading to your arms wrapping around their neck effectively deepening the kiss.

. They groaned against your lips, their hips bucking against yours.

. You could feel the wetness pooling in their briefs even through their clothes.

. Typical to be this wet just from a kiss, you bet they were a virgin with how generally unlikeable they were. Maybe you were being too harsh, they had probably been with another. You didn’t put it past them to go through the pros and cons with another as to why their date should sleep with them.

. Pro, I’m rich. Con, everything but I’m so rich you’d be stupid not to get fucked

. You held back a laugh, before you felt them push against you.

“Something…”

Right, took long enough.

“Something ?”

“..Something isn’t right.” Their hands falling limply from your thighs to their sides, they started leaning onto their side, sinking into the couch.

“Something isn’t right ?” You repeated, getting up from your place on their lap. “That can’t be true, everything is going according to plan!” You smiled, leaning down to meet their lidded eyes.

“Gosh you look simply, what was the word..?” Tucking a strand of hair behind their ear, you admired the dazed look on their stupid face, “Divine !”

. Leaving your place by their side, you paced towards the record player on the other side of the living room.

“You like music?” You asked, taking a vinyl out of its sleeve and placing it on the stand.

“I always have to have something on in the background,” You mused, setting the needle at the last track. After, turning to your beautiful sleeping date on the sofa. Their breathing had slowed as their eyes shut, only soft moans had left their lips.

¿ Por qué será ? ¿ Por qué será ?

“Otherwise I get,” Pausing to unzip the sparkling gown adorning your figure, you couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh,

“Otherwise I get scared. Silly, isn’t it?”

. You stepped out of your attire, lest you dirty your beautiful dress. The only thing covering your body being lace garments and a garter belt sitting along your waist.

Just in case they had swayed your decision.

They hadn’t.

No me da pena, me da ternura

“Gives me no sadness, gives me no tenderness, roughly.” You sang along, once again assuming your position on their body.

“Tonight you’ll be my first,” You cooed, unbuttoning their dress shirt. Exposing their chest to you, tracing along their abdomen, you hummed along,

“Es que no has aprendío na o es que tienes un problema”

“You should be grateful, after this no one can claim they’ve been inside me…” you mumble lazily leaning down to lick their skin.

“Atleast not in the way that you have..” you whisper against their flesh, stroking their rib cage. They were awfully skinny for a meal, but beggars can’t be choosers. You trailed downwards, nipping at their hip bones, teasing your hunger. You ran your tongue upwards, the area between their hips and rib, the softest area on their abdomen.

No me da pena, me da ternura

. You sunk your teeth into their skin, the all too familiar metallic taste invading your senses. Crimson painting your lips, staining the furniture, dripping onto the marble flooring. You bit down harder, a squelching noise accompanying the singers beautiful vocals.

Las llamas son bonitas porque no tienen orden

. You pulled away, as their flesh clung desperately onto their body before snapping at the distance. You savored the taste.

. The wet sopping display of their body laying so perfectly underneath your body.

. So helpless, prey sprawled defeatedly under its predator.

. What a sad ending, being eaten alive.

. You plunged your hand into their warm intestines, feeling it envelop your fingers, soft. Squishy. Gore pouring out of the hole you’ve punctured into their body.

. You let out a satisfied moan, further tearing them apart until their guts mimicked their owner. A sad display on the couch, strewn about in a beautiful ruby mess. You licked your lips, your body aflame at this point. You dug in deeper, both hands submerged.

Y el fuego es bonito porque todo lo rompe

. From the tip of your fingertips to the bone on your wrist, a warm hot pool of intestines and organs. A maze untwined beneath your body.

You took a bite, then another, and another.

Kidney, lung, heart.

. Hours must have passed since you’ve explored their body, all that remained was a mangled carcass.

. You sat on the floor, blood smearing your cheeks, having run down your chin and onto your chest and well, everywhere. You pulled back your hair, the ends dyed red from the remains.

. You crawled towards your bookshelf, staring straight into the lens inconspicuously hidden away. Its red light blinking rhythmically as you grabbed your strewn about cell phone from nearby.

. You input the digits given to you from before.

Ring… ring… ring…

“H- Hello ?!” A seemingly panicked voice came from the other side, a small smirk found itself on your face.

“Hey, sorry for calling you so late, are you free tomorrow?”

#GUESS WHI FINISHED BONES AND ALL AA A A A. A #I’ve only seen one ask on the 14dwy page abt cannibal angel and AAAAA #I love it so hot so sexy oooo I could’ve had angel eat ren but idk something about him watching…#maybe I might maybe next time idk replaying the new demo had me acting UPPP #I love yanderes ugh #we need more insane mcs #OOP and I was listening to sakura by Rosalia ugh it’s giving perfect blue vibes #14dwy #14 days with you #cw cannibalism

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avnillae · 1 year

Text

ill never forgive you guys for looking down on being smart that when i stupified myself now it’s embarrassing to be ignorant and reading is cool fuck u im going to continue to be uninformed and illiterate movies don’t have any deeper meaning, keep your a24 indie films away from me, im going to continue consuming meaningless entertainment out of spite and looking down on you grads and critics. enrichment and lust for knowledge ? don’t know her, googoo gaga im a dumbass baby bitch tell me what things mean so i don’t have to learn

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avnillae · 1 year

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unrequited

akira x reader ?

. it was an ache, an ache that introduced itself at every stolen glance

. the familiarity they shared between them

. the time that they’ve known eachother

. how he cared a little too much, was a little too friendly, a little too protective

. it stung everytime you thought of the two together, sure they were friends

. on the surface, but who was to say what happened behind closed doors

. you wondered what they talked about, if they hung out together, and what they did and wondered if he ever thought about you when he was with her

. the answer to the latter you concluded would be no, if he was with her there would be no room for you

. you’d also remind yourself that if something were to have happened it would have happened by now, seeing as how long they’ve known eachother

. but it was just something to hold onto for comfort, time has no relevancy if an opportunity announced itself

. envy crept into your imagination as you thought about the memories that they had possibly shared and the conversations that they’ve had

. you wonder if he’s talking to her right now, if he’s playing off innuendos as jokes if he were to be rejected

. the what-ifs and wonders were driving you slowly insane, the tossing and turning proved no end to your restlessness

. deciding to clear your head, you decided to go for a walk

. it was raining, the pitter patter of the rain muffling surroundings noises

. the streets were relatively empty, with the exception of a stray taxi or the occasional row of parked cars

. it overwhelmed you,

. you rambled about aimlessly, unaware of where your legs had carried you ; before you found yourself infront of the batting cages, situated in front of a cafe littered with potted plants

. hearing a bell chime, you jumped - startled at the sudden sound

. you turned to the source of the noise, your eyes settling on the cafe that was previously behind you; finding a familiar stranger in front of you

. ‘Akira..’

. youre both as surprised at the appearance of one another

. ‘[Y/n]...’ he realized, quickly flipping the sign, which read ‘open’ , that was hanging on the cafe door around to reveal that the cafe was now closed.

. ‘Come in..’ he stepped outside, pulling the door ajar ushering you inside

. you followed the boy’s intent and lead yourself inside

. it was cozy, retro even. with dark wooden counters along with matching shelves stocked with various coffee beans

. the tiles stopped short under the red cushioned bar stools that stood at the counter, the lights hanging overhead casting a warm glow upon the cafe

. You stood studying the cafe in admiration before remembering yourself and settling in one of the booths

. ‘I’ll make us some coffee..’

. You couldn’t help but let out a sigh, as you rested your head against your arm. Setting the cups to the table, he couldn’t help notice your irritation.

. “I know I’m boring, but am I really that bad enough for you to sleep” he joked, bringing his cup to his lips.

. you blush in embarrassment , ‘no, no! it’s not you, ‘ you paused, ‘its me.’ stifling your laughter at the cliche

. he sighed playfully, going along with your antics, ‘that’s what they all say..’

. ‘so what’s up’,

. ‘what do you mean ?’ you asked, fully aware of what he meant but opting to ‘play dumb’.

. he stayed silent for a few seconds, squinting his eyes at you slightly in his silence before turning his attention to the tv that happened to be broadcasting the news, ‘do you...’ he paused, thinking of the right words to frame the question that was to come.

. before he could proceed, you interrupted him, ‘i have a crush on him, or atleast i think i do.’ you confessed, purposely leaving the him vague, along with purposely adding the last comment in hopes of throwing away resolution

. the vagueness serves no purpose seeing as he already suspected who this ‘him’ was

. he returned his gaze to you, a small smirk on his face.

. ‘is that so?’

. you looked away from Akira, feeling a slight embarrassment from your revelation

. ‘yes.’ you muttered quietly

. ‘or i.. think i do atleast.’ you added, trying to talk yourself out of these feelings

. there was a moment of silence between the two of you, nothing but the sound of the reporter on the news.

. he scratched the back of his head before finally breaking the silence

. ‘Ryuji, hm? Who would’ve seen that coming?’

. You scoffed at his sarcasm, ‘did I really make it that obvious?’

. He laughed softly, ‘very - er, well, to me atleast im not sure about the others..’ he added quickly, attempting to save you from further embarrassment.

. you shrunk into your seat, ‘but he doesn’t..’ you bit your lip, opting to stare at the tv than at the boy in front of you

. ‘he doesn’t like me back..’

. Akira shifted in his seat, you caught his face flash with what you thought was nervousness for an instant before he composed himself.

. ‘why do you say that?’ he asked, taking a sip of his coffee

. because of her

. and her perfect model body

. and her perfect model face

. and her stupidly tacky latex suit that attracted his gaze every so often

. you sighed, leaning forward on the table, chin in hand, ‘it’s just a feeling,’ you drawled out, before laughing suddenly.

. ‘It’s so stupid and unimportant, honestly I’m convinced I’m just lonely, it’s whatever.’ you excused, trying to talk yourself out of the feelings you have for the blonde punk

. Akira parted his lips as if to say something before opting to close them and instead stood up and sat next to you

. ‘What are you doing ?’ you asked, scooching away to make space for him

. he turned to you, leaning closer to your face

. confused, you let him continue his actions

. with the ends of his fingertips, he took hold of your chin and tilted your face towards him before his lips pressed against yours

. it happened so suddenly you froze for a second before pulling away

. ‘Why did - ? ‘ you were blushing heavily, your mind muddled, words fumbling past your lips and falling , you were staring intently at the table to avoid his face

. Akira stayed quiet, observing your reaction to the kiss before laughing abruptly

. Jumping slightly you turned your attention towards him, flustered and utterly perplexed

. ‘I don’t know why I did that...’ he admitted, after finding his composure.

. ‘You tried to save face, but I think it’s clear..’ he leaned back into his seat, ‘I think.. the loneliness that you feel is the longing for someone that you can’t have.’

. ‘And the someone that you can’t have is the someone that you want to like you back.’

. ‘So you convince yourself that it doesn’t matter and that it’s just something that’ll pass.’

. As he was talking, he watched the images of the screen dance across the tv

. You stared at him in a sort of awe

. The words that he had uttered held some truth to them, but you could also gather a feeling of the loneliness he had mentioned behind them

. It was silent again, with you joining his watching of the tv, sinking into the leather seat

. Neither of you were really paying attention to the images before you, but pretended to. Both lost in thought

. You leaned your head against his shoulder, a small sigh escaping you

. ‘It’s always the person that we can’t have.’

#DRAFT FROM YEARRSSS AGO #persona 5 #akira #ryuji #p5 #akira x reader?#love square idk lmao

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