automnelog

[automnelog]

neurotypicals will be like "you can't self diagnose" and then diagnose everyone they dislike as a narcissist

[automnelog]

keeping a journal and not worrying if it sounds poetic enough, aesthetic enough, meaningful enough is one of the best thing ever. letting it be an extension of your mind, of yourself is one of the best choice you can ever make

[automnelog]

The funniest type of tumblr users are the ones who will see a post saying something like "I love smiling at strangers on the bus" and comment "not everyone has the ability to show kindness to others you fascist #ableism" and then you look at their blog and it's all 0 note posts about how miserable and alone they are

[automnelog]

“the intrusive thoughts won” “that’s psychotic” “i’m so delusional haha” “narcissistic abuse” “the weather is so bipolar” SHUT UP!!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

[automnelog]

one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

[automnelog]

spring journal prompts

things to get rid of, things to gain

something you want to learn

go out and press some spring flowers, write how each makes you feel

write what each colour of the rainbow means to you

what does birdsong make you think of?

do some mental spring cleaning; dump old thought patterns that no longer serve you

set a "spring goal" for yourself

watch the sun rise, write about it

design your ideal ecosystem

what are you looking forward to?

go outside. what do you hear? how does that make you feel?

[automnelog]

not to sound traumatized, but it feels unreal that someone can just miss you and want you around so often. I feel like every worry within me keeps repeating, “until when? until when?” and the people I love and that love me confirm, “as long as you’d like.”

[automnelog]

Why is it that I can only make sense of what I really look like when someone is attracted to me. Genuinely angry about this bc yeah I’m vain and talk about how beautiful I am all the time but always suspect I look like an actual creature to most people and can’t imagine anyone seeing me naked until someone shows me how much they want me. I was about to shower today and I looked at myself and thought oh yeah i make sense this is a coherent arrangement of limbs and flesh and bone. the shapes created here can be someone’s dream

[automnelog]

A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.

Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.

What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.

Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.

What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.

Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.

What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.

Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.

It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

-Xanthe

#nice ref

[automnelog]

you should make a sideblog methinks. you should think of a nice name and take a nice looking picture yourself (though not necessarily OF yourself) for the avatar and choose a nice line from something you like for the blog description. and then you should password lock it and reblog any and every small bit of art and poetry that speaks to you in it. webweaving crusty pdfs captioned screencaps web archive scans. photos. drawings. never let anyone else in there never risk anything touching go lost because "oh I'll reblog that later". and then scroll through it from time to time. no rhyme or reason to what, exactly, you put in there. thematically or otherwise. like a digital scrapbook just for you. no pressure of satisfying an audience. i had a lot of fun with mine :]

[automnelog]

kinda wanting to change the vibe of this vlog, going more college themed i guess

#did i said i'm going to college in automn? #*autumn

[automnelog]

Rejection-sensitive or not, you have to accept when people say “no” and realize that people’s “no” is not about you. A boundary is never about you, it’s about that person’s sense of security. Do not make people’s personal limits a matter of targeted offence.

[automnelog]

2023.05.23 // 17:26  summer reading <3 (first up: joan didion, a book of common prayer)

pic: bear mountain state park, stony point, n.y.

[automnelog]

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

[automnelog]

Can't wait for this moment... Manifesting

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[automnelog]

#bruh #anti empaths