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message to all bitches

please survive

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I can't stop thinking about the friendship between Quinni and Cash in Heartbreak High. I really hope we get more scenes between them in future seasons.

I can't stop thinking about Cash's face when Quinni is having her meltdown because he knows he can relate on some level. He's listening to her every word, and he is feeling so deeply for her.

His face when she says she doesn't want to be a burden made me sob. He looks so sad.

Quinni's words must have held some resonance with Cash, and I can't stop thinking about it.

Because he doesn't want to be a burden either, and he is trying so hard in his relationship with Darren and it still isn't enough.

Quinni says: "And then I find this thing, this one thing that I can control, that I can share with you all and participate in, one thing that I'm useful for, and I'm told I'm doing that wrong too. It's just not fair."

Cash knows how that feels. He's doing absolutely everything in his relationship with Darren, but he still feels like it's not enough. He's really letting her words sink in.

Quinni needs someone that can understand what she's feeling, and Cash can (in a different way).

I love that we saw Cash pick up on how upset Quinni was at the zoo. She needs someone that notices her, and Cash did.

Anyway, I love the scenes with Quinni and Cash together. And I hope we get more of their friendship in future. Because I think they understand each other on a very personal level. But maybe that's just my autistic, asexual self hoping they can find some solace in each other.

I resonate with Cash just as much as I resonate with Quinni, and I'm not saying that Cash is also possibly autistic but it's possible with his stimming, his mental health history, his deep empathy for living things and his struggles communicating how he feels. I'm running with this headcanon.

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ren-o-graphics

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and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?

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ren-o-graphics

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Reminder that you're actually interesting. Your hobbies are interesting, your interests are interesting, you are important and loveable and people appreciate you. You're just a loveable, interesting person.

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So I have just finished Heartbreak High (for the first time - I’m already on episode 2 for a rewatch). I have lots of big feelings about Ca$h. I’m a newly out asexual person (in my 30s - thanks highly sexualised society for making me think I was just a prude) who is not also aromantic. Ca$h is one of the most relatable characters I have ever seen. Ever. 

A lot of teen and young adult relationships start with lust (or at least are shown to in the media). Watching Ca$h want to be in love with Darren was amazing. It was awkward and messy and Darren got lots of things wrong but it was still so heartwarming. Darren needs to do some learning - fast. But I think they will. And I think the (admittedly awful) things that Darren said are because of the damage that’s been done to them. That’s not to say I think they’re excusable. They’re not, and I’d like to think there’ll be lots of growth and hard work done to repair the damage. But I think Darren said the things they said because they see sex as a measure of how valuable they are. My personal experience is that when asexuality isn’t understood well, it’s interpreted as a rejection of your romantic partner. Sex is a really easily interpreted sign of WANTING someone. And in our sexualised society is not easy to see all the other signs of being (or falling) in love.

I loved seeing Ca$h be able to communicate what he needed and wanted (and didn’t want) and Darren hear and understand that (if a little delayed). They made my little asexual heart sing and I will love them forever. 

(Now to try and convince my allosexual partner that they should watch it and not get grumpy about all the teen angst that they definitely think they’re too old to have to deal with…)

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heartbreak high characters as textposts 4/?

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I've just finished Heartbreak High (delayed, I know) and I was so excited about the asexual representation we were given ... just to jump on here and find that a lot of people are saying that Cash's asexuality story was handled poorly because he doesn't explicitly say he's on the asexuality spectrum, or because Darren didn't respond very well but I disagree with everything that's being said.

I think Heartbreak High handled this storyline in the most authentic way and let me explain why:

Firstly, I think it's important to remember that Cash is an eshay. He's grown up around a very bigoted group of young people, who - you can assume - hold very extreme, neagtive opinions about the LGBTQA+ community. Despite this, we see him accept his love for Darren in a very real way. He's not afraid to be seen with them in public but he does panic a little when his fellow eshays see him with them - even going so far as to say that Darren is a "customer" when asked who they are. We see at the Mardis Gras that he panics when he sees his eshay friend dealing. He isn't afraid of being out, he's afraid of their opinions of him being out. He's afraid of the eshays, not of being queer.

If you think that Cash and his eshay friends would have a deep understanding of sexuality - let alone asexuality - then you're very mistaken.

Not only that, but asexuality is massively misunderstood anyway. People on the asexuality spectrum can go years without finding a label that fits them. I was 18 when I discovered the spectrum. I spent 18 years of my life thinking I was broken.

We see that Cash has accepted this part of himself - he doesn't worry about him being broken or a disappointment, he just worries that he will lose Darren because of it. That's actually really advanced, considering he doesn't even know what asexuality is.

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Secondly, Darren is a non-binary, queer person. They have a good understanding of the community and different sexuality but one thing that they don't understand - or even know about - is asexuality. This is common in the community. Asexuality is massively unrepresented and there is a lot of false information out there about it.

From Darren's perspective, their partner didn't want to have sex with them. They've grown up feeling like they were unlovable, it's a very authentic reaction for someone to have. And it's a barrier that a lot of asexual people have to overcome in relationships because their partners just don't get that it isn't personal.

Quinni says it the best, she says that "Cash might just be wired differently", and that's what makes Darren a little more understanding - that and speaking with their dad about their trauma from their parents' divorce. They finally understand that Cash didn't have bad experiences with sex but doesn't have that attraction or urge to sleep with someone. They have a lot of unresolved trauma from their childhood, and hypersexuality can be linked to that.

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Thirdly, it is so beautiful that Heartbreak High have explored the asexuality spectrum in the way they have; usually, ace characters in shows and movies don't have a love interest while they figure out what they feel about or want out of relationships. In Heartbreak High, we see Cash understand that he is attracted to Darren romantically - he actively says he has loved them since he was in Year 8 - and not be afraid of that.

He also knows he is repulsed by sex and doesn't feel anything towards it. He knows it isn't anything to do with the other person and tries his best to communicate that to Darren. And then we see Darren accept Cash's boundaries and we seem them really try to support him through this development.

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Additionally, we don't see Cash label his sexuality at all. He doesn't say "I'm bisexual but don't like sex", or "I think I'm gay but sex isn't for me". This is really important because it gives room for the show to explore his sexuality in further detail later on. We can still get him discovering the word, and we can still see him finding a term to identify with (if he wants to, some people don't need a term to understand themselves).

There is so much room to talk about the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction, and room for the show to explore where Cash lies in that bracket of identification. We don't know if he's homoromantic, greyromantic, demiromantic, biromantic etc, and I really hope we get to see him explore that. Because it's a challenging thing to have to try to understand after coming to terms with being on the ace spectrum.

There is so much pressure to label yourself at that young age. I think it's rather positive that we have a character that understands his preferences and knows how he feels about sex without having that pressure so early on.

Sure, he likely doesn't know what asexuality is but it will be really interesting to see where the show takes this in future.

As I said, I didn't find the word to describe my sexuality until I was 18. Some people don't until they're middle aged. There's still time for Cash to discover the term and identify with the asexuality spectrum.

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We see that Cash has tried sex and didn't enjoy it. He doesn't have that urge to go further, and when he does he doesn't enjoy it. That's such good bloody representation. I can't get over it. Despite being shown to be quite anxious about how he feels around sex, he isn't shown to be ashamed of it. That's so healthy and so important.

He doesn't get it and he is still having those confusing problems with his sexuality but he isn't ashamed of it.

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Finally, I just want to reiterate that Cash not explicitly saying he's asexual does NOT mean that he isn't asexual. The writers and directors of the show have expressly said that he is asexual representation. This pressure to label yourself when you're still trying to figure things out - as Cash says directly - is really dehumanising.

Cash is a human being. He's a young person that is really confused about why he isn't like everyone else. He's having an internal struggle with his preferences and he doesn't understand why he feels the way he does, why he's "wired differently", why he doesn't "feel the same shit" as Darren and other people his age.

It's a really confusing time when you are growing up ace. It makes no sense until you find the community and you find that you're not alone.

Cash Piggott is canonically asexual and it's even more raw that he doesn't label himself so early on because that is the ace experience for so many people.

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I love Cash. I love him so much. And I hope the show explores his asexuality in more detail in the future. I think the show did this so well.

Cash's experience isn't every asexual person's experience - it's his experience. The ace experience is a very personal thing and to see it brought to life on screen in such a raw way is SO IMPORTANT.

I LOVE DOUGLAS PIGGOTT WITH MY WHOLE ACE HEART.

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the world is a better place with trans women in it

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"that's my girl" heart eyes

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reblog with your sign + if you’re a denim jacket, a leather jacket or a bomber jacket person it for science

#aquarius #and obviously i rock all three depending on the mood

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"im gonna treat myself" says me, who has rarely, if ever, denied myself anything

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Not to sound slutty but I would fold your laundry for you