assburgerssyndrome

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you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!

unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!

tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.

bonus rules:

you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny

take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)

apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender

have fun and be yourself!

#my bf looked over at my screen and all he saw was 'congrats! you are a... psyduck!' and he was like #that would explain the headaches

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Call me mRNA because AUG AGA GGG UUU UUC AUG GUG GGA UGA

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you've heard of her right? the whole town's talking about her. the girl who turned kinda weird through the intersection. we all saw and we're mad at her.

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Love how often kids start with "Did you know....?" since they are learning EVERYTHING for the first time. Girl I did NOT know PLEASE tell me. Impart your knowledge.

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Why do people need subtitles to watch a show in English? I don't get it. What is wrong with the ears of young people?

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Reverse Air Bud movie about a human basketball player who, on a technicality, enters and wins the westminster dog show

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Love How it’s made. It’s like sports but for autistic people

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#I LITERALLY DON'T REMEMBER THE CONTEXT FOR THIS ANYMORE

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i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

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do you think elves would like doomed by the narrative jokes or would they think they're cringe

the funniest answer to me is that elves would take much longer to get sick of jokes and memes than mortals do, so elves remember every canned tumblr phrase joke as something new and fresh. which would make them incredibly difficult to be around in a very mundane way

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"why so drone strikes" - the obombner

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one of my cousins has one of those wretched sequined nicolas cage pillows and today the rest of us received this photo of perhaps the most upsetting thing i’ve seen all year, slugolas cage

#KRIS

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Hypothetical for the men of tumblr:

Details: Assume one parent has to stay at home, dual income is not an option. Assume everyone’s health is okay, and that the wife will get maternal leave then return to work. Assume the job she has is stable, has potential upward mobility, and the amount of money she brings in is notably higher.

Add in the tags your reasoning for why or why not. And reblog for reach.

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