askgeralfthethird

[askgeralfthethird]

Geralf strolled into Gisa's lab without preamble, his choice of guards shambling past her own. Gisa was not in at the moment, it seemed, however she must have stepped out for only a small amount of time as the body of a young man lie on her worktable, skin sallow and tight, less than a few weeks old. Geralf examined the man's body and nodded. He had to give his wonderful sister credit, she chose very strong specimens for her 'art'.  "Gisa, my darling. Your loving brother is here!" he called. Hearing no answer, he returned his attention to the corpse. The boy must have been a soldier, he had toned arms and powerful looking legs. The cause of death was probably the single inch wide wound in the center of his chest, stabbed to death. When reanimated, it wouldn't matter at all, and the nonexistent damage to the rest of his body would make him a strong servant for years.  He frowned. He really should have said something about staying in Thraben. They keep much better care of their dead. Out in the marshes he was running dangerously low on legs.  "What my dear sister doesn't see won't hurt." He took out a hacksaw and started at the leg around the thigh. 

[askgeralfthethird]

To my most wonderful sister, Gisa.

I am in love, my dear, what can I say? I have been putting more and more thought into my chance encounter with the lovely necromancer Liliana ever since that night, and I cannot get her out of my head, her technique, her artistry, the amount of skill she posesses makes your ghouls look like clumsy, unrefined sacks of innards.

I feel as if it was not Mikaeus I stabbed in the heart that day, but myself, and not with a golden letter opener, but with cupid's arrow.  *sigh*

I wish to learn more of this woman, so I would like to have you come with me to the helvault. Apparently it was her who released the demons and I'm curious as to what kind of power she used to do it. 

As you know, the thraben inquisitors guard the helvault under avacyn's orders as she tries to find a way to repair it, so we'll be needing a guard party. I'll be bringing our dear Mikaeus, and Grimgrin, of course (You know how much he loves to see you) as well as a few lesser skaabs. Please prepare a few of your children for battle, every time I try to approach one of those sentries, all I get is "Halt heathen," and "Unholy bastard," and whatnot. 

Awaiting your reply most earnestly

Your loving brother,

Geralf

P.S. This Liliana is actually quite attractive as well! So she's got you beat in at least two fields, sister dearest.

#askgisa #askgeralfthethird

[askgeralfthethird]

A skaab shambles into your chamber, he hands you a letter stamped with Mikaeus' house sigil on it, the odd yellow device on his chest promptly cracks and explodes, singeing the envelope and the corpse which doesn't move or make a sound as its stitched body is engulfed in flames and reduces to ash.

Dear Avacyn,

I'm sure this letter finds you in good health as the fell demon Griselbrand couldn't even manage to destroy you, the giant flaming git. Of course, I digress, milady of hope.

First of all, it is with my deepest sympathies that our beloved Lunarch Mikaeus was murdered during the siege of Thraben by the undead hordes of the Necromancer Gisa and myself. He was unfortunately assassinated in his chambers just before the guards managed to push back my beautiful skaabs.

The perpetrator, of course, was myself. He had no guards, no wards, no enchantment of any kind to protect him. I simply knocked on his chamber doors, he opened them and his eyes widened when it was not one of his own men that waited for him, I stabbed him several times with a golden letter opener until the life left his body. I then carved out his heart, with the gilded tool, as I know that my dear sister Gisa wanted a souvenir.  He was of course, buried in his pre-prepared tomb, but the blessed sleep was not his to attain.

A woman by the name of Liliana, who shared the same interest in reanimating the dead as myself, came to me and showed interest in the lunarch's corpse, I of course told her the whereabouts and hours later, she returned with the holy man's body, walking and groaning just as he did in life! Of course, she had to leave but I currently have him helping my son Grimgrin stitch together more children. He's a wonderful helper, his body is strong and very good at the precision of stitching, I would even say he's better than my lab assistant, Oglor. Of course I once again digress.

I assume you've visited his grave and wondered why it was empty, as I know you and my uncle were very close when he was alive. I felt it was only fair to let you know what happened to him while you were locked away in that stone.

Yours truly, Geralf, nephew to the late Lunarch,

P.S. If you or one of yours speaks to my dear sister Gisa, could you relay that I want my sextant back? I've sent many skaabs to retrieve it for me, but nothing comes back but piles of ash. Thank you!

#askavacyn

[askgeralfthethird]

Gisa,

Though I love you very much as my wonderful sister, I am not so much a fool as to consider you anything less than somewhat untrustworthy. I know your nature and I know that if I didn't set any rules you would engage in all sorts of debauchery. 

The reason they're all my rules is that you never find time away from your squishy rotting maggotbags to propose any addendums to the rules I've constructed for our continual and equal enjoyment.

Geralf

P.S. You unbelievable perfidious hellion! I knew it! Our father left me that sextant, I demand it back as my birthright.

My Dearest Gisa,

I wouldn’t dream of leaving my general behind, without him, my troops wouldn’t be able to readily overrun your defenses, and besides that, you’re his namesake, he loves seeing you so very much. However, I know that you’re privy to flights of fancy, and that causes you to often overlook the rules set forth for our noble NecroWarfare,

No Spontaneous Awakenings: As you know, I lovingly stitch together my children to make the most optimal fighting engines, and while they certainly can handle anything you may throw at them, it’s unsporting for you to simply bolster your ranks on a whim.

No Luring, Killing, or Raising of Bystanders or Livestock: After that whole undead cow debacle I must mournfully restrict your access to human corpses you have raised before the engagement.

Combatants face off at a predetermined place and time: As you’ve already set this for our engagement, I can of course skim over this point, I simply ask that you be punctual.

Combatants must have at least three limbs to play: Really now Gisa, the last time we fought, one of my lesser skaabs was torn apart by several seperate zombies who only had a head and a single arm. Do you know how hard it is to find feet for those skaabs who simply have their ankles bitten off? It’s difficult, I’ve had to resort to giving my poor skaabs spindly little dagger legs because your draggy meatsacks keep chewing off their feet. Attack the upper body a bit, please, I’ve got plenty of arms and torsos.

Headquarters are off limits: I’m still missing my sextant you contemptuous shrew.

No flanking: Come now Gisa, act like your father’s daughter. Would he have ever deigned it necessary to engage in deceit to gain the upper hand in combat? No.

If you follow these guidelines, which I’m sure you shall, our NecroWarfare will be wonderful and eventful.

Your loving brother, Geralf

P.S. The girl Liliana was a wonderful guest, she showed me a few animation techniques that I’ve been eagerly using, you’ll have a hard time taking my children down now.

[askgeralfthethird]

My Dearest Gisa,

I wouldn't dream of leaving my general behind, without him, my troops wouldn't be able to readily overrun your defenses, and besides that, you're his namesake, he loves seeing you so very much. However, I know that you're privy to flights of fancy, and that causes you to often overlook the rules set forth for our noble NecroWarfare,

No Spontaneous Awakenings: As you know, I lovingly stitch together my children to make the most optimal fighting engines, and while they certainly can handle anything you may throw at them, it's unsporting for you to simply bolster your ranks on a whim.

No Luring, Killing, or Raising of Bystanders or Livestock: After that whole undead cow debacle I must mournfully restrict your access to human corpses you have raised before the engagement.

Combatants face off at a predetermined place and time: As you've already set this for our engagement, I can of course skim over this point, I simply ask that you be punctual.

Combatants must have at least three limbs to play: Really now Gisa, the last time we fought, one of my lesser skaabs was torn apart by several seperate zombies who only had a head and a single arm. Do you know how hard it is to find feet for those skaabs who simply have their ankles bitten off? It's difficult, I've had to resort to giving my poor skaabs spindly little dagger legs because your draggy meatsacks keep chewing off their feet. Attack the upper body a bit, please, I've got plenty of arms and torsos.

Headquarters are off limits: I'm still missing my sextant you contemptuous shrew.

No flanking: Come now Gisa, act like your father's daughter. Would he have ever deigned it necessary to engage in deceit to gain the upper hand in combat? No.

If you follow these guidelines, which I'm sure you shall, our NecroWarfare will be wonderful and eventful.

Your loving brother, Geralf

P.S. The girl Liliana was a wonderful guest, she showed me a few animation techniques that I've been eagerly using, you'll have a hard time taking my children down now.

#askgisa #NecroWarfare