ashesoriley

[ashesoriley]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

[ashesoriley]

[ashesoriley]

[ashesoriley]

remember that time that spock said “this is about sex” but he couldn’t say sex so instead he said “biology” and kirk clearly knew what he meant but was awkwardly like “what kind of biology” and spock got this look on his face like ‘oh lordy i’m not dealing with this today’ and said “vulcan biology” and kirk can’t say the word sex either so he goes “u mean the biology of vulcans” and then they stood there in silence for ten seconds like a pair of fucking idiots

[ashesoriley]

I’m going to unlearn shame *bursts into tears and beats my head against a brick wall*

[ashesoriley]

This isn’t commonly known but one of the rings of hell is actually being in a fandom wherein the popular bloggers have the worst opinions known to man that everyone else parrots

[ashesoriley]

i wish birds brought ME presents

[ashesoriley]

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid

[ashesoriley]

Well I would give a medieval peasant some spaghetti.

[ashesoriley]

if you think what happened to John Green on this site was cool and fun then I don't like you

[ashesoriley]

DC Twitter must have been INSANE when it got out that Superboy’s dads were Superman and Lex Luthor. Holy shit. The memes. The ship wars. The homophobes. The mpreg jokes. People would have lost their fucking minds. Lex Luthor releases a statement like “he’s a clone of me and Superman no birth was involved” and people are like KINDA GAY OF YOU TO HAVE A SON WITH ANOTHER MAN, LUTHOR. Lexcorp’s PR team locks themselves in a conference room and refuses to come out for love or money.

[ashesoriley]

love at first sight

[ashesoriley]

I love the internet i got into an arguement with this 28 year old white person and they put a satanic hex on me when they were losing. This surpasses all other twitter beef

[ashesoriley]

Malevolent is like The Bachelor except Arthur is there completely against his will, and all the contestants are fighting over who gets to murder him

[ashesoriley]

[ashesoriley]

pranking the new kid in the firing squad by telling all the other guys not to pull the trigger during his first execution

[ashesoriley]

William B. “Bill” Watterson II.