arisalty

[arisalty]

breakdown cancelled, guy in [shop redacted] gave me a discount on my plants ‘just cause’ and then didn’t scan half my other shit either. i was like ‘oh you missed–’ and he goes ‘discount innit’. i think maybe he just hated his job but also possibly humans are good and long story short i’m not mentally ill any more.

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me when emerald duo 🥰

#emerald duo

[arisalty]

they radiate goofy villain & dumbass sidekick energy

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Techno: I was concerned the nurses were plugging dyed bags of water into my IV to save money. Had to tell em I knew GeorgeNotFound and they said "Oh one second" and then they replaced my bag with ones labeled "Real Chemotherapy"

Phil, dying of laughter: jesus christ

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I kept seeing people mistake Ren for Techno and was like "how?" and then I thought about it a bit and

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hands you this

them

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making dsmp fanart is literally so wild because i always try to make them super dramatic and when people watch me draw its like ‘i cant let them know this is about a minecraft RPF!!!’

them: woah that’s a cute guy he looks so happy!! why is he bleeding blue

me: *forced smile* creative choices! also he has a blue sheep haha

——————

them: nice character design i love it wheres it from

me: *lying through my teeth* have you heard of popular anime figure kisuke urahara??? i didn’t think so anyway i headcanon he has a pet pig

————-—

them: dude why did you just draw a humanoid fox kneeling at the grave

me: *sweating* uh i’m a furry artist

—————

them: what the fuck is this why is half his skin white and the other half black and why did you make him cry

me: *sobbing* that’s my oc ebony dark’ness dementia raven way and he has memory issues please let me live

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ive seen the pattern

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how come everyone went live while I was in class

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dog.

they don't end up keeping it after phil explains that it's bad for the dog to be taken from the wild

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Techno you should know better than everyone what he’s like. He loves to torment us lol.

Source. Timestamp: 1:13:06-1:13:23

[Transcript Start.

Techno: *chuckles*

Phil: Holy shit!

Techno: (overlapping) *laughs* What the heck?! What the heck?!

Phil: What is going on this one spot?! Oh I’m not- I’m not missing this chance. This is so much ink.

Techno: What is it with you and killing everything immediately?

Phil: *laughs*

Techno: You have no sense of wonderment for nature, Phil.

Phil: *cackles*

Transcript End.]

[arisalty]

men and nonbinary people who have breasts are totally normal and cool actually

[arisalty]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

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hate hate hate that anxiety translates over into physical symptoms like what the fuck you're supposed to be a MENTAL illness

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have you or a loved one been diagnosed with asshole? you may be entitled

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“Ten-year-olds are the most frightening people on the planet. I think we all remember being ten, where making eye contact during recess meant you were going to have a Pokemon battle, and the winner got to keep the loser’s lunch money.

“But as an adult, seeing the kids who are off on their Pokemon journeys, swaggering along, ready to fight anybody and everybody they meet, up to and including God, it really hits you. These children will fight you, and when they win, your best bet is to just throw twenty dollars on the ground and flee in the other direction.

“The worst ones are the ones with six Pokeballs on their belt. You’re like, I possess one elderly Snubbull, and for all I know, you’ve got a Rayquaza in one of those balls. 

“And sometimes, you hear stories. Like, ‘a ten-year-old boy dismantled Team Rocket’. Or ‘a ten-year-old girl dismantled two terrorist organizations and then tamed the primal manifestations of earth and sea’. I think you could tell me a ten-year-old did anything, and I wouldn’t question it. 

“To be honest, I think the Pokemon Leagues are just there to keep those kids occupied so they don’t just take over.”

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“hes just a guy!!!!” fortunately, i like guys