anselhi

[anselhi]

Oh, then what's the 54923rd on your's then?

I think that’s 54924th on my list, actually.

#make like a tree and leaf me alone #bye felecia

[anselhi]

I would if I could, but I can't so I won't. Seriously though, you're talking to the world's worst chef. I hardly can make cereal for myself, it's bad.

Make me one. 

#i am sorry tswizzle pls forgive me

[anselhi]

You don't reply back to the things you reply to

hey buddy  im sorry i dont do it on purpose 9/10 times its bc i leave or have to do other things lik eyesterday i went to my grandmas after replying to starters on ansel and then the other 1/10 timE IS BC I GET LAZY/FORGET SORRY IM HUMAN SORRY IM NOT PERFECT fuckin hannah montana said nobodies perfect k life’s what u make it so lets make it rock 

#ooc #no rly tho sorry

[anselhi]

But why waste your money on it when you can easily fold a waffle in half, put some sausage and eggs in it, and drizzle some syrup all at home? 

Because it’s a breakfast taco. Duh.

[anselhi]

I'd say it made me hungry too, but I'm pretty much always hungry. 

This made me hungry, as weird as that sounds. I think it’s just the waffles.

[anselhi]

As most of you may know, Taco Bell is releasing their breakfast menu this week. I've heard from people that they're going to camp outside the restaurant all night so they'll be first in line in the morning. But the question on my mind is why? Why go through all that just to get a waffle taco when it literally is just a waffle, egg and sausage all smushed together? Can't people do that at home? This is number 54923 on my "Reasons I Don't Understand Humans" list.

#hfrpstarter #here have a starter while i start my homeowrk!!! #work!!

[anselhi]

I didn't even get the chance to say if I wanted to hear all this! I like to think that my childhood is still going on mentally in my head, so you basically just ruined my life. Thanks a lot, Lauren. Really. I'm very happy right now.

So, I found out some interesting things today. Ready? Okay, here we go. The characters of Winnie the Pooh were created around mental disorders, the characters of Spongebob Squarepants were created around the seven deadly sins, Wanda and Cosmo from The Fairly Oddparents are symbols of antidepressants, and Donald Duck as PTSD. Your childhood is now forever ruined, you’re welcome.

[anselhi]

You honestly blew me away until the last sentence, Shai. In my head I was like, "Wow, I cannot believe she just said all that! She's truly an amazing person, so deep, so wise....and yep. She's back." I want five cheeseburgers too, though. Or six. Or eleven. Fuck you, now I'm hungry.

It’s so weird to think that everyone views you differently. Like, one person might think you put the stars in the sky and another person could think you crawled out of the pits of hell and are here to drag them down with you. Like, it’s so unlikely that two people see you the exact same, you know? You’re different in everyone’s eyes, but that makes a lot of things make sense, too. Because people always say that there’s someone for everyone, and even if you don’t think of yourself as beautiful, there’s someone out there that does. There’s probably someone out there that thinks the world of you, and you’ve got no idea. They could be in love with you, dude. That’s amazing. I’m amazed. People are fascinating. Hi, I want cheese fries and, like, five cheeseburgers.

#i think u r playing her wonderfully!! #am i playing ansel right who knows

[anselhi]

Ansel on The Today Show (March 20, 2014)

#i fucking thought this was mr moseby from suite life of zack and cody BUT NAH #*

[anselhi]

I think we're going to have to hunt this guy down and kick his ass, Mortez. Did you see what I did there with the whole "kick his ass" thing? Because it was funny. I laughed. Did you laugh? You better have laughed.

This is no joke. I wish it were a joke, but nope. They were completely serious, too. I almost threw my computer.

#spy kids too bomb #spy kids 4 sucked tho lets not

[anselhi]

...I think we have different opinions on what "very simple" is defined as, Holland.

It’s very simple really. Identical twins have the same DNA coding. If you had an identical twin, his and your DNA test results would appear to be a photocopy. Now our siblings’ DNA and ours, are the closest DNA match, much closer than our parents. Genetically, the cousins’ DNA will be close enough to consider them as siblings since both of the children’s parents’ DNA is photocopies of each other.

Isn’t that cool?

[anselhi]

What's up with everyone deciding to say some serious trippy shit right when I decide to wake up for a nap? My brain that, according to that little boy, is in the past, can't process this information. I guess because it's still asleep, since it's in the past. Except I wasn't sleeping 80 milliseconds ago, so never mind.

Did you know we actually live about 80 milliseconds in the past, because that’s how long it takes our brain to process information? So basically, our bodies are in the present while our brains are in the past. This is a cool fact I’ve learned from this little boy, while being on this plane.

[anselhi]

Nothing beats the people you see where I live, which is New York City. The other day, I shit you not, this guy was walking around in a banana costume. And what was great is that he acted as if it were the most normal thing in the entire world, ignoring the weird stares he was getting. I wanted a picture with him.

I’m back on set but not needed for any scenes at the moment so I’m outside just people watching. LA has some strange inhabitants, let me tell you. Some woman just walked by in a Versace dress and another dude came down the street playing some steel drums. Gotta love my city.

[anselhi]

So I just woke up from a long ass nap, so I didn't really get the first part of it. How would they genetically be siblings? Wouldn't they just be cousins? 

Fun fact: If a set of identical twin women married a set of identical twin men and subsequently had kids, their children would genetically be siblings. Furthermore, the children could also look the exact same, ie be twins but be born from different women. Cool, isn’t it? I wish I had a twin right now.

[anselhi]

Please tell me you're joking. You are joking right? I'm just going to pretend this was a joke to refrain from losing my shit. 

If you ever feel bad, just know someone in Teens React To Nirvana thought Kurt left the band to become a drummer.

#ur in luck bc i just got home so i rly didn't see whatever ur talking about!!

[anselhi]

What do you consider wasting time to be?

I think that wasting time would be doing something that makes you unhappy. Life is pretty short in the grand scheme of things, why waste it doing something that you don't like when you're the only one who has the power to change it?

[anselhi]

Gross, why would I want to marry you? You've got cooties and shit like that. No but if we got married, I'd hire a personal chef. Or just take you out to eat every single night. Because we'd have to eat some way or another. Being tired is a great excuse. I could see perfectly fine, so opening my eyes wider wouldn't have helped. When I'm tired, I'm practically a zombie. I've no sense in what I'm doing, I'm surprised I haven't hurt myself in the morning. That's cute that you're worried about me, though. For your sake, I'll try to stop being tired. Maybe I'll just jump into the shower right when I open my eyes, that'll wake me up. I wouldn't mind if you smelled like garbage, I mean that's basically how you smell any other day.

What do you mean we’re gonna be single for the rest of our lives? Why don’t we just marry each other, and then we can just not know how to cook together? It’s good to know you’re not a sexist ass. I’d hate to have to slap some sense into you. I think if I lived off of cereal, I’d be the happiest girl in the world. Being tired isn’t really a good excuse. You should’ve opened your eyes a little bit more wider, and checked to see what you were putting in your food. It could’ve been poison, y’know? That’s not okay, stop being tired in the morning. If you slipped into a coma, I’d visit you at the hospital every single day. I’d need my bed and food and I’d have to shower. I can’t be with you smellin’ like garbage.