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anonbstander33-blog · 7 years

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Open letter to LGBT fans of Haifa Wehbe

This is an open letter to the LGBT fans of Haifa Wehbe who were offended by her recent injurious tweet, and more specifically, those who have hastily ceased considering themselves as fans of hers, and may or may not have contributed to subsequent accusations of homophobia and general insults against her character, or other more subtle actions against her. I am not a habitual twitter user, but this topic was brought to my attention and has prompted me to respond, and I hope that you will get to somehow read my response. Please take the time to read this and I thank you in advance for your kind attention. The following is simply the sensible point of view of an observer, and in no way the defensive opinion of a fan.

It is clear that Haifa's social media presence is distinctive from the more standardized PR-driven approach most public figures in her position tend to use. She has opted for a shyer and more personal and unpredictable approach in recent years, and this arguably contributes to her likability and sets her apart from her peers. However, this hasn't been without its faults and it has certainly left room for the occasional and inevitable faux pas, as with this recent regrettable misunderstanding. On this particular occasion, Haifa received a harmful and injurious tweet, sadly a daily part of social media interaction nowadays, but nonetheless upsetting and distressing for most people. She was obviously triggered by the vicious attack on her person, to which she responded on a whim with an equally offensive insult, which happens to be a common gay slur. Although returning hate for hate is not an ideal solution in my opinion, she probably reacted in a fit of anger and without much consideration of the meaning or possible implications of her response, and that is comprehensible. Haifa has proved she is human like the rest of us, and humans are bound to make mistakes, it is in our nature.

While some sources will argue that the term she used is merely an old fashioned expression with no injurious connotation, which is mostly used in law and religious texts in referral to homosexual men, it is unquestionable that its modern day uses are far more objectionable. It is the widely accepted usage of this word as a casual insult that lead her to let it slip unconsciously, but undoubtedly without hurtful intent towards homosexuals, as she made clear in several subsequent tweets. Even if this is the case, it doesn't make using it okay and I am by no means condoning it, and neither is Haifa. The term is widely used without necessary ill will to purposely offend or insult a homosexual person, but sadly without much consideration of the pain and suffering tied to it by gay men in particular. The real issue that needs to be addressed here is the very common, and unfortunately trivialized, derogatory use of this word, which is solely a reflection of a backward society. The attention she gave to clearing up the issue at hand, however, is a sincere reflection of her true self and feelings, and I believe she deserves the utmost respect for it.

Haifa chose not to explicitly apologize and this has to be attributed to her prowess in dealing with the media, she is known for her subtle faculty to minimize media scrutiny in regard to similarly delicate matters. It would have been purposely misinterpreted as an apology for the act of insult rather than for the choice of insult word itself, and her intentions would have been intentionally misrepresented, and consequently the hurtful effect of the term on certain people would have never been dealt with. I strongly believe that given the chance to do it over, she would have still insulted the individual who offended her, as she clearly felt it was justified, and that is very concordant with her "diva" persona. But I am even more persuaded that she would have taken the time to come up with a more poignant riposte, without any homophobic suggestion that is clearly inconsistent with her beliefs. In lieu of an apology, Haifa took several steps that you shouldn't be too quick to dismiss. She recognized her mistake and proceeded to remove the offensive tweet. She then admitted the provoked anger that lead her to react impulsively, not in an attempt to justify her choice of words, but simply to explain her spontaneous reaction and state of mind at the time. She shared the vicious words that instigated her impulsive reaction with her followers, which I felt showed some humility on her part, as well as honest penitence. Furthermore, Haifa made clear her intentions and assured she never intended to offend anyone on the basis of their sexual orientation. She reassured she has never equated the term she used with gay men, and she disclosed the affinity and friendship she shares with gay men in her private life. She also took advantage of the opportunity to express her respect and support for her gay fans. But most importantly, Haifa acknowledged the pain that could be caused by the use of this kind of language, and she expressed regret for causing such pain, thereby addressing the very core of the problem, as opposed to patching it up with a simple apology. Her actions were more responsible than you are giving her credit for, and in my opinion, more powerful than a formal apology, which most likely would have been disregarded as insincere and generic. She acknowledged her mistake and set herself as an example to millions of followers who will think twice before using this kind of language in the future. But regrettably, her actions are still mistakenly perceived by a few people such as yourself as an attempt to justify her use of insensitive language, when it is clearly not the case.

I personally found her standpoints to be quite admirable, and I find myself incomprehensive to your insistence on pursuing your attacks against her. I seriously doubt that anyone else in her position would have taken further steps beyond removing the offensive tweet as she did. She has offered outspoken support for the gay community, a courageous move on her part, especially in these times of growing fanaticism and religious extremism. You have to realize that she is addressing a very variegated and culturally diverse audience that may not be as tolerant in its majority as you might think. Thus the impact of her actions is not to be taken lightly. I invite you to read some of the hostile comments she has subsequently received, actually condemning her actions and expression of support, and I hope it will put things into perspective for you. I am referring to accusations of "promoting immorality", to paraphrase it politely, and other similarly reprehensible and revolting claims. For her to receive backlash from parts of the gay community in addition to this, is unfortunate to say the least. It almost seems that her actual message only got through to real homophobes, and for individuals like you to turn on her under these circumstances is very disappointing to witness.

Incidentally, I would like to draw your attention to the malicious motives of most news sources who have covered this unfortunate mishap and contributed to amplifying it. They are hardly gay-friendly sources, and are only serving their clearly established anti-Haifa agendas, quite transparently I might add. I caution you to not be misled by their deceitful intentions and to not add fuel to their flames. I am positive that these instigators are not serving an ultimate goal of promoting tolerance of diversity and social justice, far from it. On the other hand, I am most confident that Haifa's intentions are honest and sincere. Since early on in her career, she has helped bring visibility to the LGBT rights movement in an unprecedented manner in the region. She has openly expressed support for the gay community in numerous published magazine interviews and in a couple of instances on social media, and she has helped raise HIV/AIDS awareness. She has also voluntarily expressed her support for Trans-rights in a recent radio interview, without much forthright solicitation from the journalist interviewing her. In addition to her public positions, she is known for her close friendships with many gay men in her private life. I have personally had the opportunity to witness on one occasion her interactions with gay friends from her inner circle, and she seemed to embrace them in a very caring and boundless and judgment-free manner. I also found her familiarity with gay culture to be inspiring, and I can assure you that her tolerance is not of the manufactured and calculated kind, but of the natural kind. Her general broad-mindedness and kindheartedness is also something that anyone who has come into contact with her can attest for. Despite her recent gaffe, she will always be regarded as an ally to the LGBT community, and for such a person to be absurdly referred to as a homophobe by some people such as yourself is very saddening.

I want you to know that I deeply empathize with you if you have been on the receiving end of purposely homophobic bullying, and I sincerely hope that you, or anyone else for that matter, would not have to ever endure that again in the future. I also want you to know that I truly understand your anger, and above all, I understand the pain and frustration that lie beneath it. I realize that gay rights are far from being accepted in this part of the world, and I understand the feeling of hopelessness of ever seeing real change, and the feeling of deep frustration that only grows worse by the exposure to other cultures that are embracing equality more and more by the day. I assure you that I am in no way undermining your feelings, and I would like to say that I share your feelings. I only felt the need to point out that your anger is aimed towards a person whose sympathy to the gay cause is incontestable, and that is somewhat unreasonable. This opportunity could have been used more efficiently to raise awareness of homophobia and discrimination, and your time and energy could have been used more wisely to educate rather than hate.

I advise you not let your momentary reaction, comprehensible as it may be, even if somewhat excessive, turn into a grudge against Haifa. I do hope you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive her for her unintended gaffe. And I urge you to reconsider your position and channel your anger and frustration more productively on gay rights issues. Falsely accusing people of homophobia and bigotry in this abusive manner is irresponsible and detrimental to the LGBT cause. The kind of attack you are resorting to is counterproductive to the gay cause and does not help resolve the sexual stigma and discrimination against homosexuals. You are alienating and abusing a true supporter. The anxiety resulting from such aggressive external pressure to avoid behavior that could be construed as prejudiced, in otherwise tolerant individuals, is certainly not conductive to positive interaction and to the raising of awareness and proper sensitization of the public on the issue. Lashing out on an obvious ally such as Haifa, for a mere unfortunate misunderstanding, is simply irrational and unfair. Having someone of her stature and influence as an ally is an undeniable asset. She owned up to her mistake, she was responsible and held herself accountable. Haifa's experience has brought widespread attention to the importance of tackling homophobic language and its deeply hurtful impact, and will hopefully help make the use of this kind of language unacceptable regardless of intent. Haifa also used the opportunity to publicly reassert her support and loyalty to the gay community, and at the very least, I believe, she is owed your respect and forgiveness.

#LOVE #PEACE #PRIDE #HaifaWehbe #haifa wehbe #LGBT #GayRights #Homophobia

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