angelinaalexandri

[angelinaalexandri]

For you. Because.

[angelinaalexandri]

[angelinaalexandri]

And I thought you gave me a ray of hope... just a week ago you gave me Hell as present, and then, in two days, you made me smile again. Tonight... you simply said you don't wanna talk, do you always have to answer. And kept silent for over 10 minutes while I was asking you kindly to tell me what is it. Then you just hung up. My love, I don't want pain. You make ask myself so many questions and by not having any answers you leave the door of doubt open. Suspense. Suspense kills... yes. I am slowly killed by suspense. But, I fight for you. And I don't wanna give up. You are important to me. You are my love. I miss you... every day more, more than the previous one and less than the one that follows... Don't take us away. Don't. Let us be. Us be us, together.

[angelinaalexandri]

"Bubu, I love you! #hbd"

[angelinaalexandri]

Let your pain be my pain. Give it to me.

[angelinaalexandri]

I am awake for almost two hours. This choking pain in my chest woke me up. I thought I was dreaming about the pain, but, no, it's real and it really hurts. My heart feels like an overblown balloon ready to explode any moment now. I don't know what to do. Trying to fall asleep and calm, I just get all these images of you and us which, when eyes closed, seem so real that it makes me unwilling to open my eyes, just to see us together and smiling... The other day, I remember how a few tears rolled down your face and we hung up as we spoke online... when I think of it now, how strange it feels when you love someone who is so far away and get to see him only when circumstances allow... even seeing your tears made me feel alive... not that I am sadistic, but because all of your emotions I saw gave me certain messages... ... except I didn't see you this monday when you "switched me off". You decided to do it with no images. Just cruel statements. And as a gift for me, the consequences: huge pain, countless tears... It's 3rd day now... I will never forget this black monday of May 15 2017, the day your verdict was fatal...

[angelinaalexandri]

Poring out today, almost flood… just like tears run from my eyes… I walk to make my face wet and not let anyone realize it is actually me crying…

Still loving you…

[angelinaalexandri]

[angelinaalexandri]

… and I woke up an hour or two ago, thinking about you… all alone at home, silence which instead of peace brought back sadness because of the love which you turned into memories of us…

As I am walking to the post office to pay some bills and get some fresh air, I made the usual turn at the corner of the building where your apartment is, just like the other day when I took a walk… thinking of how wonderful life was, I suddenly saw these flowers, so tender and delicate, like pink quartz, the stone of love…

Funny… there is so much love in these flowers, so much of what I have for you, but you took it away from me… and this love… as much beautiful as our love was… I still carry it inside me and hope for the best… and I see your smiling eyes when you look at me.

Yes, you are far away, but you are inside my heart, my soul is hugging you and I am holding your hand…

I was in a terrible shock yesterday. It was absolutely unbearable and I thought I was just drop down on the floor and die. All those things you told me… so merciless and hard… my wound is so deep like a cave with no end and I am still falling in it, but still loving you…

My bald one… my crazy one…

Ти си МИ.

[angelinaalexandri]

[angelinaalexandri]

Every single day I walk this path... twice a day... every single day...

[angelinaalexandri]

Caroline, he was my hope. My wind in the back. My pillar. I have lost him... I have lost these.