etcrnaloptimistâ:
Telling Ben
Bentley Simms & Dorothea Simms - Dated 6/18 - Completed via Discord - @andthereweresparksâ
Dorothea Simms
Dorothea had gone to the pharmacy to grab her birth control, but Noraâs words had stuck in her head and she decided to grab a pregnancy test to ease her mind. There was no way she was, but she knew it would bother her until she saw the negative result now that the thought was in her head. When she got home, thankfully Ben wasnât around, she took the test and waited, scrolling through her phone as she did. When the timer went off, she picked  up the plastic stick, but her brain didnât process the two lines. There just wasnât any way. She went as quickly as sheâd come into the house and drove out of Wakefield to grab a few more tests. Different brands, not sure which was the best. Dorothea didnât realize the denial that she was in, driving her to buy this abundance of tests. She returned home and tried again, after the third of the new tests came out positive and sheâd drank about a gallon of water to pee enough times, she decided just to pee in a cup and test the rest of them at once. Every single one was positive. 14 positive tests in total.  She stared at them, it not making sense. She wasnât pregnant. Dorothea Lauren Simms could not be pregnant. Sheâd only just started dating Grayson and while theyâd slept together a few times over the past month or so, it couldnât be right. She was not fit to be a mom. Sure, she could care for the calves, but a human? No. No. It was not real. Until it was. Panic settled over her and she tried to think what it was that she needed to do. The first thing was to get rid of the tests. She had clearly lost her mind buying so many. She stuffed them into the paper bag sheâd brought them in and escaped to her room. 27 years old. Living with her father. Dating Grayson for 2 minutes. Just getting a handle on her mental health. A baby was not practical. She didnât know what to do, or who to talk to. But for the first time since sheâd arrived in Wakefield after Christmas, she didnât have the desire to run. She just wanted support.
Her dad was the obvious choice. He was her rock. He might not be happy that she got knocked up by a guy she hadnât even been dating until days ago, but he hadnât given up on her yet. She decided that when he got home, Dorothea would tell her father. If anyone was going to help her sort out her head, it would be him. Heâd told her not long ago that he was upset that she didnât trust her family to go to them, and sheâd promised that she would do better. This, telling him, not running, was keeping her promise. Grabbing her pillow, she pulled it to her chest and tried to process. What she wouldnât give for her little stuffed dog that sheâd had since she was a baby. Sheâd had him up until returning to Wakefield, her little piece of home that sheâd carried with her and she had no idea where he ended in the chaos of packing her things to leave the apartment Christmas Night. She swore she packed him. Swore heâd been stuffed into one of the two suitcases, or in her duffle, but Thea had never found him. But she was home. It was a while of sitting there, before she migrated down the stairs. There wasnât much time to make an announcement of this. A cute memory to hold onto one day and tell her child about. Her child. Her hand moved to her stomach and she sighed. But then she remembered some blank cards that they kept around for different occasions and she set off to find one. It would give her something to focus on until Ben arrived. After a quick look online, she found what she wanted to write. On the front, in her fanciest handwriting, she wrote, âThe only thing better than having you as a DadâŠâ and continued to the inside of the card, âIs my child having you as a grandpa.â And signed off with love and her full name. She grabbed and envelop and slid it inside, tucking it closed and scrawled âDadâ across the front. Once that was done, she went to the living room to wait for him to get home, unable to focus on anything else.
It was a time before she heard the front door open, heavy and familiar footfalls on the floor. âHey Dad,â she called out to him, toying with the card in her hand. âWhen you have a minute, will you come in here? No rush.â As far as she knew, she had nearly nine months of time to wait, so there wasnât any hurry tonight.
Bentley Simms
Ben stepped into the house with a deep sign as he dropped his wallet and keys on the table by the door. He was more than used to busy days. They had been part of his normal for as long as he could remember and he wouldnât change anything about that. But the days that were nonstop were ones that even not he didnât look forward to. âLet me wash up,â he called back to his daughter. Bending down, he made quick work of untying and taking off his work boots before padding barefoot through the house to his bedroom. Heâd spent most of the day out in the pastures or with the cows getting milked and he desperately needed a shower before he did anything else. Nearly 15 minutes later, Ben came out of his bedroom to find his daughter sitting in the living room. âHey kid, whatâs up?â he asked, settling on the sofa beside her.
Dorothea Simms
Maybe âno rushâ had been an overstatement on her part. The 15 minutes seemed to drag on for a century, at least. She didnât allow herself to think about how her father was going to react, or else she might talk herself out of doing this. Instead, she pulled her phone out and played on it for a few moments before growing tired and setting it onto the coffee table. The corners of the envelope were well warn from her fingers by the time her father walked into the room again. As he sat, she took a breath and held it out to him. âFor you,â she said and offered him a weak smile. âSorry thereâs no cash in it.â Her joke feel flat, but she watched him carefully. More nervous than anything else.
Bentley Simms
Ben took the envelope, his brows furrowing in confusion. While Fatherâs Day was approaching, he hadnât really expected anything from his children, he never did if he were being honest, and this year, the fact that all his kids were in Wakefield and happy, was more than enough for him. It had been far too long since that had happened. âWhat is it?â he asked, glancing at his daughter rather than opening it. It was clear sheâd been fidgeting with it, the corners well worn in a way that could mean nothing else.
Dorothea Simms
The urge to stand up and pace the room began to fill her. Since she was a baby, Thea had needed movement to calm her. She wasnât good at sitting still. However, she remained on the couch. âItâs a card.â She answered, though she knew that was not at all what heâd meant. âOpen it and find out.â Hopeful her prompting would end the nerves that swelled inside of her.
Bentley Simms
Looking back down at the card, he pulled the flap out of the envelope then pulled the card out. He skimmed the words on the outside of the card quickly, thinking it was nothing more than an early Fatherâs Day card. When he opened it, he realized he was wrong, but it didnât quite sink in the first time he read the words. He looked up at his daughter before looking down at the card again, rereading the outside then the inside of the card. âWhat are you telling me, Thea?â He asked looking up at his daughter after a moment of silence.
Dorothea Simms
Watching her father closely, Thea seemed to be holding her breath. Unable to breathe while awaiting his reaction. Was he going to be disappointed? Upset? Angry? She didnât like not knowing. When he finally looked up at her, seeming more confused than anything else, she let out her breath and watched as he read the words again. The question wasnât unexpected, this situation was a lot to handle and he had no idea what he was coming into just moments ago. âIâm pregnant,â She confessed softly, eyes meeting his for a moment, before dropping again.
Bentley Simms
âHow?â He shook his head. âNo, not how. I know how.â He had the unfortunate honor of giving all the kids the sex talk when they were young, and truly terrible experience for all of them in his opinion. âThea.â He glanced at the card in his hands again as he tried to wrap his head around what she was telling him. He had struggled to wrap his head around Noraâs announcement, but sheâd been something undefined with Wyatt for a bit before her pregnancy news. âGrayson?â he asked, just to be sure. They hadnât been together long - just days in fact, but Ben knew Thea had struggled to feel comfortable with almost anyone over the last several months, he seemed like the only logical option. âKidâŠ.this is a lot to take in. C'mere.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea cringed at the question, because neither of them ever wanted to have that talk the first time, nor come back to it now. The joke that wanted to escape her to lighten up the mood, however, didnât pass her lips. For once she allowed the discomfort to surround her, because she needed to be serious with her father. She watched him struggle with the news, just as she knew he would. When he asked about Grayson, Thea nodded. âYeah, heâŠI only just found out today. I havenât told anyone.â Just her dad. Scooting closer to him, Thea did not hesitate to hug him. âIt is and I still donât know how to feel or what to think. But I know Iâm not sorry.â
Bentley Simms
He wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. âIâm glad youâre not sorry,â he murmured, letting the silence fall between them. Ben knew it would have been easy for her to regret this. Knew it would have been easy for his daughter to run. Sheâd done it time and again when things were difficult. But she wasnât running. She was here, talking to him, telling him that he was going to have another grandchild in a few months. After sitting in silence, turning the news over in his head for a bit, he cleared his throat. âWhatâs the plan?â he asked, not pulling away, but loosening his hold on his daughter in case she wanted to. âI know you only just found out, kid, but the edges of that card tell me youâve been turning something over in your head.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea wanted to sit in that comfort for a while, so the silence that fell didnât bother her. There was so much going on in her head that she couldnât say. Things she didnât need to say, because he already understood them. He understood that she couldnât say she was sorry for the life inside of her. That she never would. She wanted to believe and love it in the way Ben had taught her to; without condition. Still, the silence eventually had to come to an end. âThe plan is to figure it out.â She said quietly, moving back slightly from him and looking down at her torso, like it had some hidden answer. âI know a few things I have to do, like, tell Grayson and see a doctor. Then tell Mom, Nora, and Zach.â She breathed, there had been so many things swirling in her head, it was hard to pinpoint them all in a coherent or chronological order. âIâŠIâm going to do this.âJune 18, 2021
Bentley Simms
Ben heard the quiet determination in his daughterâs voice. She was stubborn and determined, she always had been. It had been a source of frustration for him and Monica throughout her life, but that stubbornness was exactly what she needed now. âWeâll be here for you. Iâll be here. Whatever you need.â He couldnât speak for Nora or Zach, couldnât even speak for Monica, but Ben knew his family, was sure that they would be there for Thea - she would just have to let them. âYouâre going to do this.â He couldnât say he was necessarily happy that she was pregnant. But he was proud of her. âYouâre gonna be just fine.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea swallowed, nodding at his words. She was so grateful for her father, that she had him to count on. She moved back to hug him again, wrapping her arms tightly around him. âI know you will.â Her voice was soft, but her words certain. It was a relief, however, to hear. This was utterly terrifying, every passing moment the news settling and processing more. She could feel the weight of it. âIâm really scared, Dad.â The admission fell from her mouth and she hugged him tighter. âI have no idea how to do any of this and I donât want to mess thisâŠcluster of cells, whatever it is, up. And Iâm terrified that I will.â
Bentley Simms
He shifted slightly, drawing her against his side and holding on tightly. Ben could see how much Thea needed physical comfort. âYouâre supposed to be, kid. Iâd be worried if you werenât.â Having a child, even when they were planned was a daunting task. It was even more daunting when they werenât planned.âYou want me to tell you something not comforting at all?â he offered, glancing down at her before pushing ahead. âYouâre gonna mess âem up. Itâs part of being a parent. You make the wrong choice. YouâŠyou screw up. It happens.â
Dorothea Simms
Resting against his side, she felt some of that weight on her shoulders shift. If her father was willing to take some of it from her, she was going to let him this time. âI thought you were worried regardless.â She commented softly. Finding out his most troubled child was expecting a baby with her boyfriend of 3 days was worrisome. Anyone that knew her, she was certain, would be worried. Looking up at his words, she was going to shake her head, but he was already talking. Thea frowned, quiet for a moment. âBut you didnât.â
Bentley Simms
Ben shook his head immediately. âI did. Your mom and I both did. With all three of you weâve screwed up. Big screw ups and not so big ones.â The fact that his daughter had ever felt like she couldnât come to him about anything was on the books at one of his biggest screw ups that he would work to fix for as long as he could. âScrewing up your kids a little bit just like worrying about them is part of being a parent. Youâre, I guess youâre gonna figure that out here a hell of a lot sooner than I thought youâd be.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea wasnât sure that she believed it. Her dad had been the best. If she could be half the parent he was, sheâd be grateful. Proud. Her first instinct was to reassure him, because if he thought he screwed up with her, because of her actions, it was wrong. âDadâŠâ She began softly, âMy not coming home for all of that time wasnât something you caused, you, nor Mom.â It was the first time she was admitting this out loud, to anyone. âI have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which is a fancy way of saying I get really overwhelmed about different things. It had nothing to do with you. Or anything you did wrong.â Her brown eyes searched his for an understanding. Thea couldnât help a small laugh at his statement, shrugging, âWhen has anything Iâve done been expected?â
Bentley Simms
Ben opened his mouth, ready to argue with her. Ready to remind her that he knew she had avoiding coming home after he and Monica had gotten divorced and he knew it was in part because of how different their family looked. But his mouth snapped closed when she confessed about anxiety. He didnât exactly know what that entailed, but he waited patiently as she gave him the simplest explanation. âOh kid. How long?â He wasnât sure exactly what he was asking, whether it was how long sheâd known or how long sheâd suspected. It really didnât matter. âNever kid. But you wouldnât be you if you were doing the expected.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea shrugged a bit at his question, pulling away from him so that she could look down at her hands instead. It wasnât something to be embarrassed about, she knew that, but it still felt like something that was wrong with her. âI noticed the feeling when I was traveling, maybe a little before I left, but I didnât have a name for it. It got worse when I went to college. Every time I thought about coming homeâŠI just couldnât. And the longer I was away, the worse it was.â She paused, knowing what she was going to say next wouldnât land well. âRichard knew, not that he told me that I had it, but my therapist says a lot of what he did was exactly what made it worse, and make me more dependent on him. I didnât know what it was until I started seeing her. Thatâs what the medication is for.â Not that she really understood how the medication worked, just that sheâd felt more level a few days after beginning and it was only getting better. âAnd you love me, so I guess I wouldnât want to be anyone else.â
Bentley Simms
There was a lot Ben wanted to say about Theaâs ex and none of it was positive. And although she had brought him up, Ben didnât want to taint this conversation with him. The more Ben knew about the man, the more sure he was that he had never been worth his daughterâs time. That was even clearer now. âIâm glad the medication is helping,â he said instead, taking his daughterâs hand in his and giving it a quick squeeze. âI love you exactly like you are and I wouldnât want you to be anyone else.â
Dorothea Simms
She nodded, resting her head on her fatherâs shoulder. âMe too. Though, I should probably check to make sure thereâs no âDo not take if pregnantâ label on there.â She frowned slightly as she realized something. âOh no. I have to stop drinking coffee. And Zachâs going to make me eatâŠhealthy.â She cringed dramatically, though sheâd eat anything Zach made. âThatâs saying a lot, since Iâm 27, living at home, pregnant with my boyfriend-of-3-daysâ child.â Thea laughed and ran a hand over her face. Another wave of realization at her predicament hit her. âDad, Iâm pregnant.â
Bentley Simms
Ben laughed softly, shaking his head at Theaâs dramatics. âEating healthy wonât kill you, I promise. Zachâs been making me since he moved back and Iâm just fine.â Ben started to point out that there was nothing wrong with living at home, even at 27, but he watched as a wave of realization washed over his daughterâs face. âYou are and itâs gonna be okay.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea took a deep breath. She was pregnant. She was going to have a baby. She was going to be a mom. It was a lot. More terrifying than anything sheâd ever experienced before. âIt is.â The youngest Simms girl curled herself back up against her fatherâs side, her words uncertain. âWhat if he doesnât want to be a part of it? What if heâs not ready to be a dad? How do I accept that?â
Bentley Simms
Ben wrapped his arms around Thea when she curled back against his side. âAhh, kid if he doesnât want to be part of it, if heâs not ready, youâve got people.â He very much hoped Grayson, even if he wasnât ready now would step up and be there for Thea. He didnât know the man, had only met him in passing at the various events Thea had taken him to with her, so he couldnât promise anything, but he was going to be positive. âAnd if heâs an asshole about it, weâve got a lotta land.â
Dorothea Simms
This was turning out better than she thought it was going to with her father. She knew, despite her internal panic, that her father wasnât going to turn her away at the news. But his comfort and support meant the world to her. âI knowâŠI just donât want to be something he regrets. And I donât want thisâŠembryo? Zygote? To ever think itâs not lovable.â Because that was the worst feeling in the world. Thea quirked her head up at her dad, unable to help her smile. âA few shovels, too. ButâŠI donât think Graysonâs capable of being an asshole.â
Bentley Simms
âKid, if it is something he regrets, thatâs on him. Thatâs not on you. And if he doesnât step up, your kid is gonna have so many people who love them and are there for them.â He chuckled softly. âThen we wonât have to find a tucked away piece of land for him to go.â He squeezed her shoulders. âThank you for tell me and not running. I know how hard this is for you.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea rested her forehead on her fatherâs shoulder, taking his words in. She couldnât believe that anyone not wanting her, in her head or otherwise, was on them. It was something she knew she needed to work on more, but therapy was starting to help with that. âI know, because you and mom both have likeâŠ900 family members and I have my friends as well.â She closed her eyes and just allowed herself to still beside him. âI donât want to run anymore.â Dorothea confessed, wishing she could explain that that wasnât what sheâd meant to do, not fully at least, with Gabe. âI donât want to be alone anymore. I missed you guys so much. I donât want to miss you all again.â
Bentley Simms
âWe missed you too,â Ben assured his daughter. Family was the most important thing to him and nothing ever felt right when his children were in a place where he couldnât easily see them. And though he knew he could have flown out to see Thea, heâd also wanted to respect the distance she put between herself and Wakefield. âYouâre not alone now, kid. You werenât really then either. Any of us woulda come to you.â He fell silent, part of his still processing that he was going to have two grandchildren by this time next year and part of him just letting a long work day ease off his shoulders.
Dorothea Simms
Thea turned and wrapped her arms fully around her dad. How much pain she had caused herself by keeping away from them all for so long. âI knowâŠand Iâm sorry I didnât know then. But I know now.â She wanted to comfort him through this, as he comforted her so many times before. Quietly, she began to hum the song he used to sing to all of his kids, hoping it provided him with the same safe and calming headspace that it had always offered her.
Bentley Simms
Benâs eyes fell closed as he listened to Thea hum one of the old country songs heâd sang his children years ago when putting them to bed. Heâd hummed it to Thea the night sheâd come home to comfort her. Hell to comfort himself. âSomeday, a hell of a lot sooner than Iâd planned Iâm gonna be singing that song to your kid and Noraâs kid when they spend the night.â This stage in life was new to him, and he wasnât sure he was anywhere near fully ready for it yet, but he knew heâd get there, slowly and steadily.
Dorothea Simms
She was happy to provide that moment of solace to him, as he had countless times in her life. The thought of Ben singing that song to a little bundle of joy that belonged to her made her chest swell with emotion. âMy kidâŠâ she murmured, sighing softly, âMy kid is going to love you as much as I love you. And theyâre going to be the luckiest kid to have you to sing them to sleep.â
Bentley Simms
âYour kid,â he echoed. Whoever her kid was, whoever they turned out to be, Ben knew they were going to be lucky. Thea had put herself through hell trying to figure out who she was and as hard as that was for him as he dad to watch, he knew now that it was leading to good things. Leading to his daughter growing into an amazing young woman. Even though she didnât see it yet. âIâm not gonna pretend Iâm fully on board with this, kid. But Iâm proud of you and I know that youâre gonna be okay.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea pulled back and looked curiously at him, not sure what he meant. âFully on board with what? MyâŠbeing pregnant?â She wasnât fully on board with it either, but knew that once the news settled, sheâd find peace with it. Her instinct was already to keep the invader safe from ever calling it an accident. Or saying she didnât want it. It would always know how wanted it was, that was her goal. âThank you. ThatâŠthat means a lot.
Bentley Simms
âNot you being pregnant. IâŠyouâre stubborn enough that youâre going to do just fine. But Iâd be lying if I said I wasnât worried about the fact that you and Grayson have only been dating for a couple of days. You have people, but that doesnât mean Iâm not gonna worry. Iâm your dad, itâs my job.â Heâd had the same worries when Nora told them she was expecting. âI love you, kid.â
Dorothea Simms
Thea nodded, understanding where he was coming from. âI am too.â She admitted. Grayson was so sweet and different from the people she usually let into her life romantically. He was good to her and she wanted to see where they would go. This certainly complicated things, but when push came to shove, she knew sheâd do right by the life growing inside of her, because thatâs what Ben would do. And if she was going to be a parent, she wanted to be one like him. âLeave it to me to be pregnant 3 days into dating him.â Thea rested against her fatherâs side. âI love you too, Dad.â
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