amerraka

[amerraka]

Classes, study, always took less energy and less stressful than social things. That's why I did no social things in school and a .also ate what my parents bought.

[amerraka]

cookies 🤤

(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10)

[amerraka]

Why is everyone always so negative to cats? That's always the joke, we all laugh bc we are all in the same boat and we all think the same things in our groupthink culture.

Let's try being negative to dogs for once. *gasp* nothing is wrong with dogs you say. Let me start the list. Too loud, drools too much, jumps on you and hits you in the face with their claws, etc etc.

Not all cats are the same. Like dogs. Ha. And they aren't "like dogs " if they're nicer bc some dogs are nasty. Cats can be better companions than dogs. And some can feel sorry. They have a wide range of complex emotions. Don't limit them. Their complexity, their closeness to humanity, is why ppl revile them bc they don't like looking in the mirror.

[amerraka]

Ha. I post it all the time on my other site. I never get ant comments or reblogs, barely any likes. And I've been on Tumblr for 8 years.

I should just give up. Give up life bc writing is all I have and that's nothing. :(

On today's episode of "non-profit orgs give great life advice," i think the phrase "don't say no for other people" is highly relavent to writeblr.

"Nobody wants to see my writing." But they didn't say that, you said that. You don't know if they want to see it or not, not really.

That's not to say this phrase hasn't given me horrible anxiety in the past. Remember that you have every right to say no for yourself. Just don't assume others will inevitably hate your work. Let them have the right to say yes, we want to read this without deciding for them.

[amerraka]

[amerraka]

[amerraka]

I just love when people like that I'm writing but not what I'm writing. Which is most ppl. Maybe I should give up.

If I don't have writing, I have nothing. No talents . and if I can't write after 30 years of practice, there is no hope for me to get good at anything else, esp soon enough to earn a living doing what I love lol. Living by doing things that exhaust me that I hate, which dad does-- I would rather not be alive at all. Work, come home and crash watch tv bc I have no energy for anything else, certainly nothing social... Bc that needs a lot more energy than most things... Never any friends or bf... That's best case scenario, I will probably be on the streets dead in a year after my parents die.

I might as well die now. No courage to end it. :( faded half life, worth nothing.

[amerraka]

So let's cut it in half. 20 hours

Systems are bogged down by inertia. They always need changing for the better bc society resists change.

The most good for the most people.

[amerraka]

How do ppl do this? I literally can't function on that kind of sleep. This causes a lot of death and suffering. Sleep is essential for life. Foe health and good relationships!!!

If I don't sleep I'm a zombie who can barely think or act.

[amerraka]

Stop letting yourselves be objects. Speak up. Fight back.

Don't accept this narrative you're something to be done to. Act. Take. Don't passively submit to objectification and commercialization of your bodies while cheapening your souls.

seeing straight girls on tik tok joking about how when they watch porn, they’re looking at the women and not the men. and other girls commenting “haha all girls are a little gay!” like that proves anything other than that women are the product in pornography, that women were meant to be consumed by the audience. the lighting, the angles, the focus of the camera, it’s all positioned on the woman in heterosexual porn. you watch the women because women are the objects that are being sold.

[amerraka]

#36 #... But I'm atypical #U don't want to b like me

[amerraka]

here is a link to the gofundme for the funeral of delaina yaun, a victim of the shooting in atlanta, and another link to the gofundme to support her family, she is survived by 2 children and a husband. (these are both verified by gofundme.)

here is a gofundme link for elcias hernandez ortiz, who was shot but is currently in intensive care as i write this. he was the only survivor of this attack. his family will need help paying for the medical bills. (cnn includes this link in an article about the attack.)

if i find any more links to the help out the victims friends and family i will add them.

thank you for donating if you can, and thank you for sharing. everyone please stay safe.

[amerraka]

I wish lots of ppl actually liked my writing.

Then it would mean they liked me.

[amerraka]

Taxes done, I was procrastinating bc I hate filling forms. Not as long this year bc I had less deductions to add up from my business. Refund for the first time yay ... Bc I earned a lot less in 2020. $3,000 something total adjusted gross income, 5k I think total. Vs over $10k and almost 15k once, .... I was going up or at least staying steady then covid. So much fewer pet sitting.... 1 other source of income canceled. I really hope I can bounce back this year. And actually earn a living somehow. And get a farm lol. And masters degree. Help. I have no time to waste, mid 30s . trying to get other businesses going but is this possible?? For me??? I want to work for myself always. But can I make it? I mean, does an extremely sensitive extreme introvert have any place in this world that isn't totally less than mediocre

[amerraka]

#truth

[amerraka]

Well even judging by these looks like I only have anxiety. "Cautious" doesn't sound like a compliment. I'm not high achieving lol. I wish I had some of these others. Like the outgoing and spontaneous, good memory etc.... In me, good is far outweighed by the bad... I must habe some other disorder PLUS being very mediocre. Even my stories are nothing. So overwhelmed by everything and I barely do anything lol. Even regular life is too much :( too sensitive.

Any good characteristics of those w depression?....

[amerraka]

wishing all my asian american mutuals a very safe and good day today