alteredlaxity

[alteredlaxity]

𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘. (𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒐)

“Hi, Dad…” In a hushed whisper, the blonde stood on the grass just above where her father was buried. Furrowing her brows as her eyes began to water, she shook her head. “Do I even call you that? We didn’t really get a chance to get to know each other.” She paused, a short laugh escaping as the first tear fell down her cheek. “Well, you didn’t get to know the real me. The me you always wanted in a daughter…” She sniffled slightly, wiping away the stray tear. Extending her hand towards the cold stone in front of her, she allowed her fingers to trace across the top before then falling to the lettering on her father’s grave. 

MARK EVERETT SLOAN Beloved father to Sloan and Sofia. Adored son, cherished friend. REST IN PEACE.

Sloan took a moment of silence as her fingers traced each letter on the grave, tears now falling down her cheeks at a slow pace. By the time she had gotten to the end of the lettering, she had frozen in her spot. Sucking in a deep breath, she allowed herself to feel this moment. Losing her father before getting a chance to really know him was tough. She was a reckless, immature and irresponsible teenager when she lost him. Pregnant and kicked out of her mother’s house, Sloan went to Mark to seek help and although he didn’t know her, he welcomed her with open arms. She abused his trust, taking him for granted and continuing to live a reckless life. By the time she had her son, Caiden, Sloan was ready to run. She gave all that responsibility to her father before taking off to get back to her life of partying. Only when Sloan arrived back to that life, she discovered something new about herself.

She didn’t want to be that way anymore. Having a child had changed her in ways she could not imagine. Caiden wasn’t with her and although she was receiving letters from Mark with updates on her son’s progress, Sloan ignored them all. However, having a child had opened her eyes to everything that was much more important. Instead of spending nights getting so intoxicated that she couldn’t remember a thing, she focused on her studies. Sloan was smart. Smarter than she once believed she was and she vowed to make her father proud. As she put herself through college, she promised herself that she would be someone who Mark could be proud of… Who Caiden could be proud of. She owed it to both of them, but she never got the chance.

That phone call from Derek Shepherd changed everything. Hearing his voice on the other end of the phone, wavering, trembling as he explained the situation to Sloan was hard to hear. Mark had been in a plane crash and he wasn’t going to survive. Sloan dropped everything and made her way to see her father and say her goodbyes to the man she had barely gotten a chance to know. 

“I’m sorry you only got to see the ugly parts of me…” She mumbled as the tears continued to fall. Sinking to her knees, she stared at the writing on the stone before her. “I’m sorry I dumped all of that responsibility on you. I’m sorry for everything, Dad…” She began to ramble, allowing the thoughts in her head to finally flow freely. “You did a good job with Caiden. Arizona and Callie are great with him too.” She paused, sucking in another shaky, unsteady breath. In a voice no louder than a whisper, she continued. “What if I can’t be his mother? What if I’m not a g-good enough p-parent?” Stumbling over her words, Sloan used her sleeve to wipe away her tears. “What if I leave him behind in the park and he gets taken? What if I hurt him? What happens then? He d-doesn’t have you to p-protect him anymore. He doesn’t h-have you… and I don’t h-have you…” The last few words came out in a painful, broken cry for help. 

Collapsing against the tombstone, Sloan allowed one hand to rest on top of it and the other was clutching a photograph of herself and Mark. The only photo she had of the two of them. “I’m so sorry, Dad… I’m sorry… I’m so… sorry…” She repeated her heavy apology over and over again, hoping to resolve some of her guilt but all it did was weigh heavier on her chest. “I wish you could see me now…” She whispered, her lips almost touching the stone. “I wish you could see how much I’ve changed, Dad. I’m not that girl anymore. I went to school. I almost have my degree… I’m getting better. But I’m not ready…” She sobbed quietly, closing her eyes. “I’m not ready for you to leave me, so I-I-I n-need you to c-come back, okay? I n-need you to s-see me… I need you, Dad…” She mumbled as the cry got stuck in her throat. Taking in violent, heavy breaths, she allowed all the emotion to finally release. 

Before Mark passed, he had made Sloan promise him one thing. To be there for Caiden. To step up as his mother. To teach him right from wrong. To give him advice. To love him endlessly, regardless. To put in the time. To be a parent to a stranger… Sloan wasn’t ready. She was wiser and definitely more mature, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready for that much responsibility but how could she possibly walk away now? Caiden needed her. She made that promise to Mark and despite being terrified, Sloan vowed to keep it. She had to. She had to know that Mark’s final words were being honoured and that was on her. Not on Arizona or Callie. It was on /her/.

“I’m going to do it…” She said, after minutes of silence passed. She wiped her eyes again, sitting up in her place. She faced his tombstone, smiling as her eyes scanned over his name. “I’m going to be there for Caiden. I have no idea what I’m doing though.” She managed a light laugh, her hand resting on top of the stone once again. “I hope you know that. I have no idea what to do with a toddler, but you did it, so it can’t be that hard, huh?” Her lame attempt at a joke. “I promised you and I promised him…” She paused. The next words out of her mouth would be ones she had never said before, but ones that she needed to say a long time ago. “My son… needs me. He needs his mom and it’s my job to step up.” She nodded her head, laying the photo of the two of them down at his grave. She pressed her lips against it, just above her father’s carved name and then pulled back. “I wish you could see me now, Dad. I hope you can be proud of me one day… I hope Caiden can be proud of me… I’m not ready, but I’ll step up. For him. For you.” She nodded again, wiping away the final tears as she slowly pulled herself to her feet. 

Sloan cast a glance behind her, her eyes falling upon her girlfriend and her son. Ashton was holding Caiden, pointing out all the different flowers and getting Caiden to say each colour. A smile spread across Sloan’s face as she watched the two of them interact. She waved at the pair of them, watching as they waved back with mirrored happiness across their faces. She then turned her attention back to Mark’s place of burial. “I’m going to be someone you can be proud of, Dad. I’m going to be Caiden’s mother. I’m really going to do it. I promise.” Pressing two fingers to her lips, she then moved them over his name and for one final time, she said her goodbyes. “I love you, Dad and thank you for helping me grow up. I won’t mess it up this time. I promise…” She allowed herself a few more seconds to gaze upon his burial grounds before flashing a smile and lowering her voice to a whisper. “Goodbye, Dad…” 

Turning on her heel, Sloan then walked back towards Ashton. As her girlfriend saw Sloan approaching, she placed Caiden down on the ground and he immediately ran towards Sloan. She crouched down, extending her arms as her son stumbled comfortably into them. She picked him up, propping him on his hip as Ashton’s arm came to snake around Sloan’s waist. “You okay, my love?” “Yeah…” She stopped to allow herself to look between her girlfriend and her son before meeting her girlfriend’s concerned expression again. “Everything’s perfect.” Leaning her head against her girlfriend’s for just a moment before then pulling away, Sloan allowed herself to smile. “Let’s go home, hmm?” “Homeeee!” Caiden giggled, his fingers tangling in Sloan’s hair. “That’s right! Home! Clever boy.” Pressing a kiss to his head, Sloan then walked out of the cemetery with her girlfriend and son beside her.  I wish you could see me now, Dad. I hope you’re proud…

[alteredlaxity]

Sloan had worked so hard on changing the person she once was. She used to drink heavily, smoke and party all night. She had started down this bad road at the small age of 14 and continued with this life for four long years, before she found herself pregnant at the age of eighteen. It was hard for Sloan to change the person she was, as it was all she had known, but being pregnant and being so immature had really forced her to grow up.

Samantha - Sloan's mother - was tired of the teen's constant partying. She was tired of picking her up from outside night clubs, bailing her out of jail when she police took her in to protect her from various dangers and fed up of answering the door to those same officers who had taken a very intoxicated teenager home. Samantha loved Sloan, but the last straw for her was when her eighteen year old daughter came home and told her that she was pregnant. She kicked Sloan out because she thought it would help her mature, but Sloan had nowhere to go.

Her friends stopped hanging out with her when they found out about the pregnancy. Sloan wasn't any fun anymore. She couldn't drink or party like they could, so they stopped calling her and texting her and Sloan was excluded from everything. With nowhere left to turn, Sloan tracked down her birth father. Sloan had never really thought much about him in the past, but now she needed a place to stay so she made her way to Seattle and met Mark Sloan for the first time ever. It was bittersweet, as Sloan was really only here for shelter but as she got to know him, she decided to stay a little longer and tell him about the pregnancy.

Mark ended up taking Sloan's baby in after they almost lost him to some complications. Sloan had the baby boy and then moved to LA again to get back to her old life but found it wasn't everything she once thought it was. She wasn't interested in it anymore and focused instead of bettering herself. She went to university, completed 2 years of a business degree before receiving news that Mark was dying. He was in a plane crash and Sloan was desperate to say goodbye and tell him that she had changed.

She was 21 now and hadn't gotten the chance to really show Mark just how much she had changed. He had died before she got that chance and it made her sad. She locked herself away in a hotel room for 2 weeks until Callie approached her and begged her to step up. Sloan knew she had to. She had promised Mark and finally, she answered Arizona's call and agreed to meet up with just Arizona, not knowing the blonde's plan.

Sloan arrived at the meeting place shortly after Arizona and upon hearing the blonde's drink order, she nodded her head and went to place their orders. Sloan ordered Arizona's hot drink, along with a hot chocolate for herself. Once she had paid for them and they were done, she collected the drinks and made her way back to the table. She placed Arizona's drink down in front of her and then placed her own in front of where she would be sitting.

"I'm sorry I haven't been in contact with you, Arizona." Sloan began. She knew she had a lot to make up for. "It's been really... hard. I know you know that, but losing my dad... I never got to show him how much I've changed. I know I was a selfish brat back then, but I'm not like that now. I'm working on a degree and everything." Sloan said, her shoulders slumping slightly as she avoided eye contact with Arizona. "I promise I'm trying.... It's just hard." She said again, finally looking up to meet Arizona's eyes.

𝑼𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔.

Maturing was something that Sloan had found difficult. When she lived with her mother, she was always irritable and never able to sit still. She would get herself into trouble and then her mother would yell at her. She would laugh at the smallest of jokes. She would play practical jokes on her mother which she didn’t find funny but Sloan didn’t care. That’s the type of person she was and as she got older, her practical jokes turned into a wild rampage.

Sloan was out of control. She was sneaking out at fourteen, smoking and drinking heavily by fifteen, sleeping with more men than she could count at sixteen and totally out of control by seventeen. Then, at just eighteen years old, something changed her life. A pregnancy. An unwanted and totally unplanned pregnancy with a guy she barely knew. 

Being pregnant was really the last thing that Sloan wanted. She wasn’t ready for a kid and wasn’t even sure that she ever wanted one. She was struggling to come to terms with it all and the second she discovered that she was pregnant, her whole life changed. Her friends stopped hanging out with her, she wasn’t invited to parties, no one texted her or called her anymore but what’s worse than all of that was how her mother had treated her.

Samantha was tired of Sloan’s reckless behaviour and didn’t want to give into her anymore. She wanted to teach her daughter a lesson and let her know that she couldn’t get her own way and that her actions have consequences so she kicked Sloan out and Sloan was left to track down her birth father. Of course, she didn’t make it easy on him either and he almost kicked her out until she told him that she was pregnant.

Sloan could see that look in Mark’s eyes the second she told him about the pregnancy. She could see that hunger to take that baby in and treat him as his own. She could see that drive, that passion, that love that only a parent holds. Sloan didn’t want have that passion or drive because she didn’t want to be a part in this child’s life.

She had left it too late for a miscarriage but even if she hadn’t, she doubted that she would be able to do that to another life. So she was left in a situation that she didn’t want to be in but she made a deal with Mark. He would take the baby in when it was born and Sloan would return home and get on with her life like this never happened.

The deal was going great. Sloan was able to return home but her life wasn’t what she wanted it to be. She tried the party lifestyle again but found that she didn’t enjoy it anymore. She wanted to make something more of her life. So she took herself off to college to study business management. She was good at it and had completed two years before another bombshell dropped.

Mark was dying. Sloan went to say goodbye and seeing her father die before she had a chance to really prove to him that she had changed was one of the hardest things she had done. She wanted more time with him but just like that, he was gone and Sloan had made a promise to him. She promised to try and take care of Caiden. That’s what Mark had called him… It suited him and Sloan wanted to try but it was hard for her to bond with someone she never really wanted. So she did the one thing she knew how to do best. She decided to hide from the world and dump Caiden on @positivesurgeon​ and Callie.

Perhaps it was mean of her to dump the responsibility on Callie and Arizona but Sloan couldn’t cope with it all right now. How was she supposed to be a mother? She didn’t even live in Seattle anymore, but here she was. Still in Seattle, just over two weeks since the passing of her father. She had nothing holding her here. She could just run away and leave Arizona and Callie to raise her kid, but after Arizona’s call and Callie approaching her at the funeral, Sloan knew that wasn’t an option. She used to be cold hearted but she’s trying to change that, no matter how tempting it sounded to run right now.

After hanging up the phone to Arizona, Sloan changed into some ripped knee blue jeans, a white sweater and some white converse to match. She threw her hair up into a messy bun and applied some light makeup. She then grabbed her purse with everything she needed shoved into it and quickly texted Arizona to let her know that she was on her way. She agreed to meet her because she knew that the couple wasn’t coping and although Sloan was nervous, she wanted to try and help. She had to prove to everyone that she had changed.

Once the text was sent, Sloan made her way out of her hotel room, then out of the building and towards the agreed meeting place. There was a park that Sloan loved to go to. It had a big play area for the kids and just off from that was a lovely outdoors restaurant and Sloan loved that little feature of the park. She would send hours there back when she was in Seattle. She loved it and seeing as she was still in Seattle, she agreed to meet Arizona there.

She walked with her earphones in, playing some music to calm her nerves and as she neared the park, she saw the blonde sitting at a table. Sloan pulled out her earphones, shoved them into her bag and then approached the table. “Hey, Arizona. Do you want a hot drink?” Sloan asked, wanting to settle in gently first. She needed something to distract herself. “It’s on me. Oh, and thanks for agreeing to meet me.” Sloan said, her cheeks flushing pink from the nerves.

Just stay calm… Keep yourself composed, Sloan.

[alteredlaxity]

Sloan was nothing like she used to be. The only things that used to matter to the blonde were drinking and partying. She didn't care about much else in her life, but then she got pregnant at 18 and although she didn't wish to admit it, it changed her. She had no interest in raising a child, or being a mother, but the pregnancy itself was hard and made Sloan realise a few things. Like how fragile life could be and how easily it could be taken away.

When she found out her then unborn baby's life was at risk, it had upset her. She had no plans of keeping this baby, no, but hearing that he could need more care down the line or even lose his life before he had a chance to live through it, she was scared. She didn't wish that on her baby, even if she didn't want him. She was scared that she would lose him and she did freak out. Perhaps she did want him. Somewhere deep down inside her, maybe that was her first sign that she was just underprepared and scared of becoming a mother at 18. Regardless, Sloan decided to give him up to Mark the second that he was born.

Caiden had a good life with Mark. He was raised well and Mark kept his promise of sending Sloan weekly updates on her kid. Not that she actually opened any of them until after Mark's passing. Sloan went back to LA after having her son but discovered her old life was one she no longer wanted. She focused her mind on a business degree, but when Mark died, she came back to Seattle and her life changed again. Sloan had promised Mark that she would take care of her kid and whilst she had made some good progress to bond with him over the time Mark had been gone, she hadn't fully stepped up.

For a start, Sloan's girlfriend had no idea that she had a kid. Ashton had never been to Sloan's apartment that Callie and Arizona had purchased for her. Ashton didn't know about Caiden. Sloan did intend on telling her, but didn't actually know she was staying in Seattle for good until Callie and Arizona forced her to spend time with her kid, just over 2 weeks after Mark died. Then, the longer that Sloan left it without telling Ashton, the more awkward it felt. So she just hadn't told her.

But tonight, Sloan was going to. She had done her best to hide all of Caiden's things in his own room as she wanted to tell Ashton in her own time. But maybe... Maybe she didn't have to tell her tonight. Maybe the two could just share a date night together. Sloan heard her phone buzz, reading the message with a big grin across her face. She decided not to reply and instead, went back to the kitchen to check on the meal she was preparing for the two of them. It smelt delicious and with everything cooking as it should, Sloan was happy.

That was until Arizona called her. She answered the phone, her smile dropping from her face as she heard Arizona tell her that both of herself and Callie had been called into work and they were on their way with Caiden to Sloan's place. She began to plead with Arizona to find childcare, but Arizona hung up. This couldn't be happening right now! This date night was about to be ruined and Ashton would be here any second! Sloan began to pace the room, trying to think of a plan. But it was useless. Arizona and Callie would be here with Caiden in less than five minutes now, and Ashton would be here in... five minutes. Great. This was working out... just great.

𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒆 ; to love again.

Sloan Riley had been leading a rather reckless life before she came to Seattle. Back in LA, Sloan was drinking until the early hours of the morning. She slept with whoever approached her first. She had no shame and would leave the house with barely anything on. She knew how to have a good time but it got her into endless trouble and her mother, Samantha Riley, was having none of it.

Samantha had to apologise to police officers who had brought an intoxicated Sloan home every now and then. She would have to get dressed in the very early hours of the morning, pick Sloan up from the station or park bench where she had passed out, take her home, get her in the shower and then go to work to repeat the whole process when she got home. Samantha had put up with much more than some mothers had and when Sloan came home pregnant at 18, Samantha knew that it was time to teach her daughter a lesson.

She kicked Sloan out and Sloan was forced to find her birth father. All her friends had abandoned her now that she was pregnant and she had no place else to go. She tracked down Mark Sloan and when he had finally accepted that she really was his daughter, she didn’t make life easy for him.

She tested his patience and pushed every limit she could think of until Mark nearly kicked Sloan out too. When she overheard a conversation he was having, she came clean and told Mark that she was pregnant and needed someone to take this baby from her. Mark was confused why anyone would give up their child, but seeing the way his daughter lived, it shouldn’t have surprised him. Sloan suffered through some complications with the baby. Luckily, everyone was okay but after almost losing the baby, Mark knew that he /had/ to take Sloan’s kid in.

Sloan and Mark made an agreement. Sloan would give her son to Mark as long as she was never forced to see him. Mark agreed but on the conditions that he could send Sloan photos and letters about her son’s progress. She wanted the kid gone, so she agreed to that too and then Sloan gave birth to a healthy baby boy who was named Caiden Riley Sloan.

Caiden was given to Mark and Sloan went back to LA to carry on with her reckless party lifestyle but when she got there, she realised that she actually didn’t enjoy that life anymore. So she went to college and studied hard in a business management course. She was doing well and getting top grades for two years until a phone call changed everything.

Sloan’s father was dying. She rushed to Seattle to see Mark one more time before he died and during that visit, Mark made Sloan promise that she would be there for Caiden. She promised, but after Mark died, she locked herself away. She spent two weeks locked in a hotel room because she had never seen anyone die in front of her before and it had totally freaked her out. She didn’t know or want to look after a child so she was freaking out about that too.

Then she went to Mark’s funeral and Callie told Sloan that she needed to step up, that she couldn’t hide forever. Sloan stayed hidden for 2 more days before finally arranging a meeting with Arizona. 

Arizona and Callie had planned the whole thing and set Sloan up. Callie came into view with Caiden and Sloan fell apart. She wasn’t ready but Arizona and Callie were and Sloan spent the day with her son. That night was so hard for her so she did what she did best. She went to the bar.      

She had a drink at the bar when @ardentauxiliary​ approached her. She was tall and attractive and Sloan needed to blow off some steam so she necked down her drink and then hit the dancefloor with Ashton. Sloan went back to Ashton’s place that night and started a very passionate bond with the tall raven haired woman.

In Mark’s will, he had left Arizona and Callie a little money but the couple used that to buy Sloan a little flat and to help move her college course from LA to Seattle. They needed Sloan to stay and take care of her kid and after that first day with him, Sloan knew that they needed this too. So she agreed but she was hesitant to let it all happen. But then she spent every night in Ashton’s place from the very night she had met her and none of it seemed to matter anymore.

Ashton had come along out of nowhere and completely changed Sloan’s look on life. Suddenly, this fiery love had turned into a rather romantic relationship and Sloan wanted to do something to say how thankful she was to have Ashton in her life. She had planned this whole night perfectly. She had set up a romantic dinner in her own flat for a change. They barely came to Sloan’s place but tonight, Sloan had told Ashton to dress up to the nines because they were going to have a proper date night.

Sloan had just about finished prepping the food and putting the things she could in to cook so she rushed off into her bedroom and picked an outfit. She put on a tight fitting red dress, tied some of her hair up into a high pony and curled the front pieces. She paired her outfit with some jewellery and some red heels.      

Grabbing her phone, she sent her girlfriend a text to make sure she was on track for their dinner plans. [TEXT: Ashton ] Hey babe! Just checking in. You still on track? Everything’s coming on nicely in here. DON’T stay too late at work!! Love ya x

She hit send and then made her way back to the kitchen to make sure that everything was going smoothly. Tonight was going to be perfect. She could just feel it in her heart… It was going to be perfect.

[alteredlaxity]

"Your photography is amazing. You're my personal photographer. Now and forever."

“Usually I’m helping someone behind the camera. But @alteredlaxity let’s me explore my love of photography. Which is something I love about her. One of the many things.”

[alteredlaxity]

“Any day with you is like a dream, but this date was really something else. This restaurant was incredible - can we make this a regular thing?”

“A day date with @alteredlaxity.”

[alteredlaxity]

“Went for a walk in the park and my hair was just out of control.”

[ @ardentauxiliary ]

[alteredlaxity]

She’ll be here, soaking up every last moment of sun if @ardentauxiliary wants to join her.

[alteredlaxity]

“Car selfies because the light was too good. My Uber driver gave me some strange looks though.”

[ @ardentauxiliary • @positivesurgeon ]

[alteredlaxity]

𝑼𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔.

Maturing was something that Sloan had found difficult. When she lived with her mother, she was always irritable and never able to sit still. She would get herself into trouble and then her mother would yell at her. She would laugh at the smallest of jokes. She would play practical jokes on her mother which she didn’t find funny but Sloan didn’t care. That’s the type of person she was and as she got older, her practical jokes turned into a wild rampage.

Sloan was out of control. She was sneaking out at fourteen, smoking and drinking heavily by fifteen, sleeping with more men than she could count at sixteen and totally out of control by seventeen. Then, at just eighteen years old, something changed her life. A pregnancy. An unwanted and totally unplanned pregnancy with a guy she barely knew. 

Being pregnant was really the last thing that Sloan wanted. She wasn’t ready for a kid and wasn’t even sure that she ever wanted one. She was struggling to come to terms with it all and the second she discovered that she was pregnant, her whole life changed. Her friends stopped hanging out with her, she wasn’t invited to parties, no one texted her or called her anymore but what’s worse than all of that was how her mother had treated her.

Samantha was tired of Sloan’s reckless behaviour and didn’t want to give into her anymore. She wanted to teach her daughter a lesson and let her know that she couldn’t get her own way and that her actions have consequences so she kicked Sloan out and Sloan was left to track down her birth father. Of course, she didn’t make it easy on him either and he almost kicked her out until she told him that she was pregnant.

Sloan could see that look in Mark’s eyes the second she told him about the pregnancy. She could see that hunger to take that baby in and treat him as his own. She could see that drive, that passion, that love that only a parent holds. Sloan didn’t want have that passion or drive because she didn’t want to be a part in this child’s life.

She had left it too late for a miscarriage but even if she hadn’t, she doubted that she would be able to do that to another life. So she was left in a situation that she didn’t want to be in but she made a deal with Mark. He would take the baby in when it was born and Sloan would return home and get on with her life like this never happened.

The deal was going great. Sloan was able to return home but her life wasn’t what she wanted it to be. She tried the party lifestyle again but found that she didn’t enjoy it anymore. She wanted to make something more of her life. So she took herself off to college to study business management. She was good at it and had completed two years before another bombshell dropped.

Mark was dying. Sloan went to say goodbye and seeing her father die before she had a chance to really prove to him that she had changed was one of the hardest things she had done. She wanted more time with him but just like that, he was gone and Sloan had made a promise to him. She promised to try and take care of Caiden. That’s what Mark had called him… It suited him and Sloan wanted to try but it was hard for her to bond with someone she never really wanted. So she did the one thing she knew how to do best. She decided to hide from the world and dump Caiden on @positivesurgeon​ and Callie.

Perhaps it was mean of her to dump the responsibility on Callie and Arizona but Sloan couldn’t cope with it all right now. How was she supposed to be a mother? She didn’t even live in Seattle anymore, but here she was. Still in Seattle, just over two weeks since the passing of her father. She had nothing holding her here. She could just run away and leave Arizona and Callie to raise her kid, but after Arizona’s call and Callie approaching her at the funeral, Sloan knew that wasn’t an option. She used to be cold hearted but she’s trying to change that, no matter how tempting it sounded to run right now.

After hanging up the phone to Arizona, Sloan changed into some ripped knee blue jeans, a white sweater and some white converse to match. She threw her hair up into a messy bun and applied some light makeup. She then grabbed her purse with everything she needed shoved into it and quickly texted Arizona to let her know that she was on her way. She agreed to meet her because she knew that the couple wasn’t coping and although Sloan was nervous, she wanted to try and help. She had to prove to everyone that she had changed.

Once the text was sent, Sloan made her way out of her hotel room, then out of the building and towards the agreed meeting place. There was a park that Sloan loved to go to. It had a big play area for the kids and just off from that was a lovely outdoors restaurant and Sloan loved that little feature of the park. She would send hours there back when she was in Seattle. She loved it and seeing as she was still in Seattle, she agreed to meet Arizona there.

She walked with her earphones in, playing some music to calm her nerves and as she neared the park, she saw the blonde sitting at a table. Sloan pulled out her earphones, shoved them into her bag and then approached the table. “Hey, Arizona. Do you want a hot drink?” Sloan asked, wanting to settle in gently first. She needed something to distract herself. “It’s on me. Oh, and thanks for agreeing to meet me.” Sloan said, her cheeks flushing pink from the nerves.

Just stay calm… Keep yourself composed, Sloan.

[alteredlaxity]

𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒆 ; to love again.

Sloan Riley had been leading a rather reckless life before she came to Seattle. Back in LA, Sloan was drinking until the early hours of the morning. She slept with whoever approached her first. She had no shame and would leave the house with barely anything on. She knew how to have a good time but it got her into endless trouble and her mother, Samantha Riley, was having none of it.

Samantha had to apologise to police officers who had brought an intoxicated Sloan home every now and then. She would have to get dressed in the very early hours of the morning, pick Sloan up from the station or park bench where she had passed out, take her home, get her in the shower and then go to work to repeat the whole process when she got home. Samantha had put up with much more than some mothers had and when Sloan came home pregnant at 18, Samantha knew that it was time to teach her daughter a lesson.

She kicked Sloan out and Sloan was forced to find her birth father. All her friends had abandoned her now that she was pregnant and she had no place else to go. She tracked down Mark Sloan and when he had finally accepted that she really was his daughter, she didn't make life easy for him.

She tested his patience and pushed every limit she could think of until Mark nearly kicked Sloan out too. When she overheard a conversation he was having, she came clean and told Mark that she was pregnant and needed someone to take this baby from her. Mark was confused why anyone would give up their child, but seeing the way his daughter lived, it shouldn't have surprised him. Sloan suffered through some complications with the baby. Luckily, everyone was okay but after almost losing the baby, Mark knew that he /had/ to take Sloan's kid in.

Sloan and Mark made an agreement. Sloan would give her son to Mark as long as she was never forced to see him. Mark agreed but on the conditions that he could send Sloan photos and letters about her son's progress. She wanted the kid gone, so she agreed to that too and then Sloan gave birth to a healthy baby boy who was named Caiden Riley Sloan.

Caiden was given to Mark and Sloan went back to LA to carry on with her reckless party lifestyle but when she got there, she realised that she actually didn't enjoy that life anymore. So she went to college and studied hard in a business management course. She was doing well and getting top grades for two years until a phone call changed everything.

Sloan's father was dying. She rushed to Seattle to see Mark one more time before he died and during that visit, Mark made Sloan promise that she would be there for Caiden. She promised, but after Mark died, she locked herself away. She spent two weeks locked in a hotel room because she had never seen anyone die in front of her before and it had totally freaked her out. She didn't know or want to look after a child so she was freaking out about that too.

Then she went to Mark's funeral and Callie told Sloan that she needed to step up, that she couldn't hide forever. Sloan stayed hidden for 2 more days before finally arranging a meeting with Arizona. 

Arizona and Callie had planned the whole thing and set Sloan up. Callie came into view with Caiden and Sloan fell apart. She wasn't ready but Arizona and Callie were and Sloan spent the day with her son. That night was so hard for her so she did what she did best. She went to the bar.      

She had a drink at the bar when @ardentauxiliary​ approached her. She was tall and attractive and Sloan needed to blow off some steam so she necked down her drink and then hit the dancefloor with Ashton. Sloan went back to Ashton's place that night and started a very passionate bond with the tall raven haired woman.

In Mark's will, he had left Arizona and Callie a little money but the couple used that to buy Sloan a little flat and to help move her college course from LA to Seattle. They needed Sloan to stay and take care of her kid and after that first day with him, Sloan knew that they needed this too. So she agreed but she was hesitant to let it all happen. But then she spent every night in Ashton's place from the very night she had met her and none of it seemed to matter anymore.

Ashton had come along out of nowhere and completely changed Sloan's look on life. Suddenly, this fiery love had turned into a rather romantic relationship and Sloan wanted to do something to say how thankful she was to have Ashton in her life. She had planned this whole night perfectly. She had set up a romantic dinner in her own flat for a change. They barely came to Sloan's place but tonight, Sloan had told Ashton to dress up to the nines because they were going to have a proper date night.

Sloan had just about finished prepping the food and putting the things she could in to cook so she rushed off into her bedroom and picked an outfit. She put on a tight fitting red dress, tied some of her hair up into a high pony and curled the front pieces. She paired her outfit with some jewellery and some red heels.      

Grabbing her phone, she sent her girlfriend a text to make sure she was on track for their dinner plans. [TEXT: Ashton ] Hey babe! Just checking in. You still on track? Everything's coming on nicely in here. DON'T stay too late at work!! Love ya x

She hit send and then made her way back to the kitchen to make sure that everything was going smoothly. Tonight was going to be perfect. She could just feel it in her heart... It was going to be perfect.

[alteredlaxity]

𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘 𝒖𝒑. (solo)

The teenage years are the most wild time in any girl's life and for Sloan Riley, this was exactly the case. When she was just fourteen, she would sneak out of her mother's house and go to parties that kids older than her hosted. At fifteen, she was drinking and smoking. At sixteen, she had slept with more boys than anyone else her age had. At seventeen, she was totally out of control and at eighteen, Sloan was pregnant.  

The pregnancy was unwanted and unplanned, which came to no surprise to Samantha, Sloan's mother. She knew her child was out of control and she was sick of dealing with Sloan's mess. Samantha had apologised to the police on multiple occasions when they brought her very intoxicated daughter back home. She had picked her up from the station more times than she cared to count. She had been humiliated by Sloan for the last time and she had become nothing more than a disappointment to Samantha, so she did the only thing she could think of. She kicked her out.        

Pregnant, scared and alone, Sloan turned to the baby's father for help. She barely knew Casey Bennett, but he was all she had left now. None of her friends wanted to know her now that she was pregnant. She was seen as the 'kill joy' so she was an outcast and just as her friends had done, Casey pushed her away. He told her to never speak to him again and get rid of that baby before it ruined her life and his.    

Sloan couldn't handle living in a place where no one cared for her. Not even her own mother did. She had to move on, so she pulled on the last string she had. She tracked down her biological father in Seattle and flew there in the hopes that he would accept her. She was so lonely and so afraid. She just needed one lifeline... 

She wasted no time in finding Mark Sloan and when she told him she was his biological daughter, he didn't believe her. That was until she told him who her mother was and how this all happened. Suddenly, Mark felt a need to protect Sloan but she didn't make it easy for him. She was defensive and rude and pushed the limits with him. She tested his patience so much that when she found out he was going to kick her out, she told him the real reason why she was here.

Sloan came clean about the pregnancy and about how her mother had kicked her out. She told him all about her wild past and how she just wanted to get back to that. She didn't want this baby and she didn't love it, so she had decided to give it up for adoption. All Sloan wanted was her old life back, but after complications with the baby, Mark wasn't ready to let go and Sloan had a complicated pregnancy. Addison had operated on Sloan's baby to fix some issues with his legs and luckily for them, Addison fixed the problem with no further complications. Sloan knew that she wasn't ready for a baby more so than ever before and so she started to go through the process of adoption, until Mark stopped her. He told her that he would take the baby in so that it stayed with family. Sloan was just glad to get rid of it, so when it was born, she gave it away to Mark and disappeared again.

Sloan moved back home, returning to her life of partying and drinking, but after the first party she went to, she discovered something about herself that shocked her. She didn't want this life. She didn't enjoy it anymore. She wanted to make something of herself. She wanted to prove everyone wrong, but more importantly, she wanted to prove herself wrong.         

Sloan took herself off to college after her nineteenth birthday and started to sort her life out. She was taking a course in business and had completed two years of her course with high grades until she received a phone call from a ghost. Mark Sloan was calling her mobile every day, several times a day for a week. Then she received a call from Derek - Mark's best friend - and she answered it to tell them to stop calling. Before she could even get a chance to speak, Derek told her Mark had been involved in a plane crash and she needed to come and see him - now.

Reluctantly, she went to Seattle and sat by Mark's bedside. He noticed a change in Sloan. The way she carried herself, her attitude and the way she looked apologetic for her past spoke volumes to Mark. His little girl had grown up and it was time for her to accept responsibility. As she sat by his bed, she apologised for being a brat and told Mark that her life was getting so much better since she started college. She told him all about her course and the grades she was achieving and how she was in her final year of college. Everything in her life was perfect right now, but nothing ever stayed that way.

Mark took Sloan's hand in his and smiled softly at his daughter. "I'm so proud of you, Sloan. You grew up and I didn't think that would ever happen." He said with a small chuckle that caused him to frown in pain as he began coughing. Sloan squeezed his hand lightly, worry painted across her face. "Well, I couldn't live the way I did forever...." "No, you couldn't..." He paused, looked down and then back up at Sloan again. Tears clouded his eyes. "My injuries are pretty bad, kid. I don't think I'm going to ma-" "-Don't you dare say it!" Sloan exclaimed, a single tear falling down her cheeks. "Don't you dare..." Her voice was quieter this time as she sniffled. "You don't get to do this. Not yet, not now. I'm finally making something of myself." "You are, kid and I'm so proud, but it's time... Sloan, I want you to do something for me."      

Mark's final wish was about to be said out loud and he was nervous. He was scared how Sloan would react, but he was running out of time. He felt himself getting weaker with every hour that passed. He had to say it now before it was too late to say anything at all.

"You need to take care of Caiden." Mark reached weakly for his phone and pulled up his lockscreen. It was a photo of Sloan's son, Caiden Riley Sloan. He was one, almost two and had this giant cheeky grin on his face. He was sweet, but Sloan felt no connection to him. She stared at the photograph on Mark's phone and felt nothing. "I can't..." She said weakly, allowing her tears to freely fall now. "I can't..."

 "You can and you have to because I won't be around to take care of him anymore. He's a good kid - stubborn sometimes and hates bath time, but if you give him a toy ship to play with, he calms right down. He reminds me so much of you." "You barely even know me." Sloan laughed, taking the phone as Mark extended it towards her. "I know you're stubborn just like him. I know you put up these walls so you don't get hurt again. I know you're trying to change. I know that he needs you right now." Mark coughed again, gripping his chest tightly. "Caiden needs you to step up, Sloan. You're his mother and he needs you." "But I don't lo-" "-Don't say it. You don't know that. You've never even met him." Mark searched his daughter's eyes for something real - for something he could count on. She stared at the image on his phone, feeling this overwhelming urge to run. She knew that little boy needed her, but was she cut out for this?

 "Please Sloan. He needs his mother. Promise me..." Mark's breathing began to get slower and heavier. His whole body had slumped back in the bed and his eyes were fluttering. Sloan finally drew her attention away from the phone screen and gripped her father's hand tightly. "Promise me you'll try to be there for him.... P-promise me, Sloan?"

As she watched her father growing weaker, she squeezed his hand one last time. What he was asking of her was a lot, but she had to try... Her father had sacrificed a lot to be a father figure to her son. Now it was time for Sloan to step up. It was time to grow up. "I promise." She said rather quietly. Clearing her throat and wiping her eyes, she tried again. "I promise."       

Mark smiled at his daughter and then his eyes closed. His grip loosened on her hand and his heart stopped. Sloan broke out into an ugly sob as Arizona pulled her out of the room, giving the doctors room to work. They tried to get his heart beating again, but Sloan watched as they called time of death. Sloan collapsed in Arizona's arms, screaming out for her father just one last time before the tears took over. It was over. Mark was gone and now Sloan was expected to be a mother to a child she never loved...               

It was time to grow up... but was she really ready for this big change?