alohaimkili-blog

[alohaimkili-blog]

if you buy me cute underwear i’ll model it for you

[alohaimkili-blog]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[alohaimkili-blog]

[alohaimkili-blog]

“I’m not rich”

“But I have a big dick”

[alohaimkili-blog]

I get unbelievably affectionate when I’m half asleep. 

[alohaimkili-blog]

Be careful. If you leave me alone too long, I’ll be gone when you come back.

i’m not here to wait for you. (via c0ntemplations)

[alohaimkili-blog]

Is it just me or do women get a lot more shit for dating shitty guys than the guys who are being shitty

[alohaimkili-blog]

Can’t see why anyone would want a relationship like Rachel and Ross when you could have a love like Monica and Chandler

[alohaimkili-blog]

Running seems like a great idea until you actually start running

[alohaimkili-blog]

if i ever say “im going to bed” to you jus know my ass is lying and wide awake

[alohaimkili-blog]

[alohaimkili-blog]

I promise I’m a lot nicer than my ‘walking to class’ face would lead you to believe.

[alohaimkili-blog]

[alohaimkili-blog]

I would rather sleep on your chest than a hundred pillows.

(via napsforlyfe)

[alohaimkili-blog]

[alohaimkili-blog]

[alohaimkili-blog]