almighty-idiot

[almighty-idiot]

This picture is so holy and gentle to me

[almighty-idiot]

Does anyone have the fucking tiktok video of the overly enthusiastic rich bearded guy showing off his new hiking shoes in his Mansion and the Woods, but then another dude duets with it to make it look like he's escaping from being held prisoner please please

edit THANKS @smellslikebot

[almighty-idiot]

fucked up how colors look different depending on what screen you’re looking at them on. that should be illegal I think

[almighty-idiot]

#I punctured a child's balloon #Evil thing could have corrupted them

[almighty-idiot]

pissy customers don't even phase me i have a degradation kink you should be embarrassed this doesn't even turn me on

[almighty-idiot]

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

#Can I hace the one when people say shade when they mean tint

[almighty-idiot]

[almighty-idiot]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

#I was probably that coworker

[almighty-idiot]

my parents have no issue with my art being explicit or sexual and are very supportive and this is great. the issue is they’re too supportive. my dad will whip out his phone and show neighbors we barely know paintings of naked trans men on their knees and be like ^_^ im so proud of my son!!!

[almighty-idiot]

Love being fun and silly with strangers… Today at the farmers market the hummus guy saw my bag and was like “We’re filling that up right??” and I was like Twist my arm!! and we both hooted. Then at the end he was like “By the way the baklava is only half sliced so make sure to slice before serving… that is, if you’re going to share!!” and I was like “Oh I wouldn’t count on that!! 😉😉” and we shared another hearty laugh. I love playing in this space with you

[almighty-idiot]

Everyone in porno has a cute pink little asahole with no hair or hemorrhoids. A perfect little baby starfish. Not me. My asshole is a craggy PIT

[almighty-idiot]

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

[almighty-idiot]

not to brag but im halfway done filling my basement with gasoline💪

[almighty-idiot]

My sort of maybe embarrassing “late to the game” thing I’m learning now is how to tell if oil has gone bad.

I feel like most other foods have obvious visual tells like mold or they end up smelling foul and obviously bad. But I was googling about oil and the internet says “if it smells like crayons, it’s bad” which would not have been my first guess. And I tested it out on my somewhat old sesame oil and was like “by god, I would describe this as smelling like crayons”

Anyway protip if your old oil smells kinda like crayons it’s probably no good 🖍️

[almighty-idiot]

[almighty-idiot]

Public speaking is actually really easy if you don't respect a single soul in that room. I've had an incredibly easy time delivering speeches when I hated everybody I saw and they all thought I did amazing because my disdain was read as confidence. I don't have any tips for you I'm just telling you a fact

[almighty-idiot]

remember, before you post, think SMART

Start discourse

Make up arguments

Ad hominem

Reading the post is for losers

Talk without thinking