allofhomestuck

[allofhomestuck]

John: Set Pesterchum status to "bully". (page 34/8130)

You don't think the situation is quite dire enough to go all the way to "RANCOROUS", but you still feel the PESTERCHUM client should reflect your mood change in some way.

"BULLY" will have to do. You guess.

This unsurprisingly does nothing whatsoever.

Oh, right, you forgot your chum is still pestering you.

> John: Answer chum.

#homestuck #act 1 #34

[allofhomestuck]

John: Captchalogue fake arms again. (page 33/8130)

What did you just say?? You don't want to clog up your...

Oh, Jesus. In a momentary lapse of concentration, you accidentally captchalogue the arms again.

> John: Set Pesterchum status to "bully".

#homestuck #act 1 #33

[allofhomestuck]

John: Read COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT. (page 32/8130)

You decide to consult with the Colonel's bottomless wisdom. Good grief this thing is huge. It could kill a cat if you dropped it.

But to really dig into this hefty book, you will have to captchalogue it. You are not sure you are ready to logjam your other ARTIFACTS beneath it just yet.

> John: Captchalogue fake arms again.

#homestuck #act 1 #32

[allofhomestuck]

John: Examine games on CD rack. (page 31/8130)

(video source)

You've put countless manhours into this assortment of quality titles.

> John: Read COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT.

#homestuck #act 1 #31

[allofhomestuck]

John: Forget it. Check mail later. (page 30/8130)

If you go down stairs to get it, he will likely monopolize hours of your time. You decide to chill out up here for a while until the dust settles. Sometimes you feel like you are trapped in this room. Stuck, if you will, in a sense which possibly borders on the titular. And now your chum is pestering you again. The clockwork of friendship turns ceaselessly, operating the swing-lever dealies of harassment in perpetuity! Whatever. The dude can just hold his damn horses.

> John: Examine games on CD rack.

#homestuck #act 1 #30

[allofhomestuck]

John: Go outside and check mailbox. (page 29/8130)

You are about to hurry down stairs when you hear a car pull into the driveway. It looks like your DAD has returned from the grocery store. Oh great. He is beating you to the mail.

> John: Forget it. Check mail later.

#//i listed the total wrong for the past 28 pages please excuse me #homestuck #act 1 #29

[allofhomestuck]

John: Examine mailbox. (page 28/8030)

The little red arm-swingy-dealy thing or whatever it is called is flipped up! What the hell is that thing called anyway. You do not have time for these semantics. The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. And that means the beta might be here!

> John: Go outside and check mailbox.

#homestuck #act 1 #28

[allofhomestuck]

John: Look out window. (page 27/8030)

You see the view of your yard from your window. Hanging from the tree is your TIRE SWING. In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. That is to say, HE CAN HARDLY BE CONSIDERED A TERRIBLY PROPER GENTLEMAN AT ALL. And there beside your driveway is the mailbox.

> John: Examine mailbox.

#homestuck #act 1 #27

[allofhomestuck]

John: Open message. (page 26/8030)

(From this point onward, Pesterlogs will be put in the read-more link, as shown below.)

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:13 -- TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny. TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage? TG: but TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle? EB: try using your brain numbnuts. TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice. TG: ok i can accept that TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.

> John: Look out window.

#homestuck #act 1 #26 #pesterlog #ectoBiologist #turntechGodhead

[allofhomestuck]

John: Open Pesterchum. (page 25/8030)

Only one of your CHUMS is logged in. He's sent you a message.

> John: Open message.

#homestuck #act 1 #25

[allofhomestuck]

John: Examine incoming message. (page 24/8030)

You pull up to your COMPUTER. This is where you spend most of your time. You decorated your desktop with some rather handsome WALLPAPER which you made yourself. You are really proud of it. Your desktop is also littered with various PROGRAMMING PROJECT FILES. You are so bad at programming sometimes you wonder why you even bother with it. Your PESTERCHUM application is flashing. Someone is trying to get in touch with you.

> John: Open Pesterchum.

#homestuck #act 1 #24

[allofhomestuck]

John: Eat cake. (page 23/8030)

You are sick to death of cake!!! You've been eating it all day. And you have no intention of clogging your SYLLADEX with it either. The CAKE stays put for now. You hear a notice from your COMPUTER. Someone is messaging you.

> John: Examine incoming message.

#homestuck #act 1 #23

[allofhomestuck]

John: Examine calendar. (page 22/8030)

You've marked your birthday, the 13th of April. Another day you marked was supposed to be the arrival date for the highly touted SBURB BETA LAUNCH. It's been three days already. It's starting to become a sore subject with you.

> John: Eat cake.

#homestuck #act 1 #22

[allofhomestuck]

John: Examine Deep Impact poster. (page 21/8030)

Morgan Freeman's genteel, homespun mannerisms were perfect qualities for a president residing over a crisis. OCEANS RISE. CITIES FALL. HOPE SURVIVES. WOW. Films about impending apocalypse fascinate you. Plus, a black president??? Now you've seen everything!

> John: Examine calendar.

#homestuck #act 1 #21

[allofhomestuck]

John: Examine Con Air poster. (page 20/8030)

PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX.

I SAID, PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX.

WHY COULDN'T YOU PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX?

> John: Examine Deep Impact poster.

#homestuck #act 1 #20

[allofhomestuck]

John: Nail poster to wall. (page 19/8030)

You use the HAMMER, NAILS, and POSTER on the blank space on the wall. It's glorious. Exactly what you wanted. The old man really came through this time.

> John: Examine Con Air poster.

#homestuck #act 1 #19

[allofhomestuck]

John: Use hammer/nails on poster. (page 18/8030)

You use the HAMMER and NAILS card IN CONJUNCTION with the card beneath it.

> John: Nail poster to wall.

#homestuck #act 1 #18