allieroselovesnnu-blog

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

g r a c e

Jesus gripped my heart today.

I guess that may not be the best wording. Jesus grips my heart everyday, but this morning he reminded me of something.

(Wait. Turn this on while you read. Expect to be wrecked (or maybe I’m just emotional lately) (yes I just did a parentheses inside of a parentheses) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QDnVD7gu5Y).

The word grace has been thrown around a lot in my life lately.

“How do I deserve this?” Grace. “Why is God so good to me?” Grace. “How did I get here? What makes me worthy? How could He be so faithful?”

Grace. Grace. Grace.

Not gonna lie, people. Life has been beautiful lately. It’s felt too good to be true and I have moments that I just sit and wonder how and why God could be so good to me. Why he would bless me so richly and so perfectly. And Satan keeps trying to steal my joy--telling me I’m not worthy of this. That I don’t deserve to live in the blessings of God because I’m nowhere near good enough to receive them. He asks me how I dare even dwell here.

He makes me want to run from God’s gifts.

And then God brings me here:

“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But BECAUSE of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by GRACE you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:1-5 (Emphasis added).

Yes, the old me does not deserve to dwell in the blessings of God. Yes, I have made mistakes that Satan likes to remind me of to make me feel unworthy. Yes, I WAS dead in my transgressions. Key word: was.

YES, I am covered in Jesus’ love and grace.

People, we are called to live like this. We are called to walk in righteousness and forget our past lives, because technically we are a new creation in Him. The old has gone and the new has come. So don’t let Satan take you back to where you used to be. The words “used to” are there for a reason. Own them.

And now go back and listen to the lyrics in that song. Because they’ll hit you in a different way now.

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

Junior Senior Retreat!

This weekend was great. 

Because this weekend, a group of juniors and seniors (myself included) went up to Torrey Pines/McCall for our junior senior retreat for the McCall Winter Carnival. 

It was so much fun! 

As you may know if you have read my previous blogs, I am on Junior Class Council this year, so I was able to help plan the event. It was quite the success, if you ask me! 

The adventure all started on Friday afternoon, where we loaded up the vans and headed out on our two-hour journey to Torrey Pines! Once we got there, we had a night full of snacks, movies, games that made my brain hurt (mostly Catan), and staying up too late. But Saturday was when the real fun began! 

Crazily enough, I had never been to McCall, so I was beyond excited for day two. I had heard how amazing it was and I knew I would love it, and boy did I! So, at 9:30 in the morning we loaded up the vans and headed out to McCall. It was SO beautiful...but so rainy. 

So, of course first things first--we went to the Fog Lifter (the coffee shop everyone raves about). We stayed a while and waited for the rain to stop, and then ventured to go walk on the frozen lake, take tons of touristy photos (because no trip is complete without that), look at the giant-but-also-melty ice sculptures that you could tell used to be cool before the rain came, and did some thrifting. 

'Twas a good weekend, friends. Here's to being an upperclassmen! 

snowy McCall!

the gang!

Me outside of our cute cabin!

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

You Are Not Enough

The world tells us a variety of negative things about ourselves. You aren't good enough, you aren't talented enough for that, you aren't pretty enough or small enough or smart enough. You've done too much to be forgiven by a perfect God. You've been rejected time after time and you can't help but think...

You are inadequate. 

This week at NNU is Winter Awakening, and we have an amazing guest speaker named Krist Wilde. Today's his first day with us, but tonight at TimeOut was so moving that I couldn't wait to tell you about it. (I also secretly have to write things to process them so I figured here would be more beneficial than in my journal, because it's GOOD.) 

So, anyways. We aren't good enough, right? Anyone feel that? (Pretty sure you're saying yes but if not just play along, ya dig?) 

Well I have some news for you.

YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH TO CHRIST. 

(This is where the crowd yells "Preeeeeeeach!)

Sometimes it's hard for us to see past the world's negative lens on our life. Our perspective is stuck on what we have been told by others and not on God's truth. But why would we trust the world's words over our God's? Our Creator's?

That's just plain silly. 

Let me put it to you this way. It's simple, really. Do you really think that God would have sent his son to die on a cross for YOU if you weren't good enough to him? 

Yeah, didn't think so. 

And that's the thing about our God. He takes the imperfection and messiness and brokenness of our lives and makes it perfect. He is constantly making all things new--everything about you.

But only if you let him. 

It's time to stop listening to the world's lies about you and start listening to God's TRUTH. 

YOU are made in God's perfect image. YOU are a daughter/son of the King of Kings. YOU are beautiful, and special, and unique. YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made in Christ. 

You are more than enough.

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

I'm thinking of attending NNU when it's time for me to head to college. I've been wondering something about the dorms in the Ford hall. Do you have your own private bathrooms for your dorms or do you have one big one for your section? (:

Hi!! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! So happy you are thinking about attending NNU! 

In Ford there are community bathrooms, which means there is a bathroom for each wing. There are two wings per floor and four floors. So essentially you are sharing a bathroom with about twenty other girls. Don’t worry, though, I never had to wait in line to shower! ;) 

Let me know if you have any other questions!

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

little updates

Oh, my friends. Hello! 

Sorry it's been so long. 

I can't believe that I went practically a whole semester without posting on here, when it feels like there is truly so much I could have written and probably should have written because it was a crazy transformational time. 

I also can't believe how much your own words can inspire you as soon as you forget them. I just went back and read my second-to-last blog post (the first post of Junior year) and remembered all over again how awesome that night was. To sum up last semester, it was pretty much that. God worked a whole lot in my heart and life and in the hearts and lives of so many across this campus. Just as He continues to. 

Now, I'm back again, and this time I only have three semesters to go and can't even begin to fathom how quickly this is going to go down. 

There is one thing that I can fathom, though, and that's how ridiculously much I am going to miss this beautiful place. I know that probably sounds so repetitive, and maybe you think that the university it paying me to tell you how wonderful it is here and ignore the negatives. But really, I adore this place. I adore my people here and my Nursing family and professors and this whole stinkin' community. And I'm pretty dang sure that you would too. 

Since it's 2015, I (of course) have this huge expectation in my mind that I am going to make this year better than the last. More intentional, with more time for reading ten pound nursing books and drinking more Flying M coffee and laughing with my roommates. Spending more time being content in the moment that God has me in right here, right now, and less time thinking of when things I want will come. More time investing in and dwelling in the beauty of this place. 

You guys, it's just so wonderful here. I don't even know how to put it into words to tell you. I just want you to know how much I think you should be here, too. 

Also: disclaimer for nursing students. It's finally the semester that I've been waiting for full of Pediatrics and Labor and Delivery and NICU and BABIES, so keep checking in for updates on all that fun too. (!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Another also: disclaimer for travelers-at-heart I'M GOING TO POLAND TO SERVE IN A COFFEE SHOP MINISTRY IN JUST 4 MONTHS. So keep an eye out for that too! So stoked to do this with fellow NNUers and spread the word of God's Kingdom around the nation!

It's gonna be good, guys. I just know it. Even when things feel messy and chaotic and like "oh-my-gosh-how-will-I-ever-get-past-this", it's still gonna be good. 

Here's to semester 6!

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

back at it!

Week One is done, and school in now in full swing. You don't realize how much you love having jam-packed, crazy fun events until they start to slow down…and this week has definitely brought all of us back to reality. 

But hey, I didn't get to tell you about how awesome Week One was, and I'm sure you are just DYING to hear about it! (If you aren't, just play along. Week One is one of the best weeks of the year, next to Week Done. I'll tell you more about that one later in the year.) 

For those of you that just stumbled upon my blog for the first time and have absolutely no clue what I am talking about, Week One is our kick off to the school year! It is full of TONS of fun orientation stuff and events to rally in all of the Freshman and make them feel at home. And by the end of the week, the whole campus is in need of a serious nap. 

It all starts with MOVE IN DAY! I have the opportunity to serve as a peer mentor for a wing full of awesome freshman girls this year, so of course I, along with all of the other wonderful student leaders, was super stoked for the freshman to finally arrive! If you are a freshman and you're reading this, we have been praying for you all summer and are so glad that you are finally here! 

Move in day was especially sweet for me this year, as I was an RA in Ford (Freshman girl's dorm!) last year. It was so fun to get to watch the new RAs kick off the year…I am so proud of each and every one of them! Especially these two who were on my wing last year! 

(Kinsey, Me) #thirdnorthfordever

(Maddy, Me)

The next event was the Scavenger Hunt, which is my personal favorite of Week One. During this event, teams of freshman (and their leaders) run around campus competing against each other in games like tug-of-war, water balloon volleyball, and so much more. I got to co-lead a team this year with the wonderful Brent Conrad! We were pirates and had such a blast! 

Student leaders welcoming the Freshman to the Sader Dome, where the scavenger hunt began! I love this photo…it totally portrays the atmosphere of NNU! We are so excited to meet you, Freshman!

Me and Brent (he was much more pirate-y then me…oops)

Neeeeext up, Rendezvous! Such a fun event!!! Who wouldn't love getting together with a random group of Freshman and some zany leaders to go over to a professors house for a home-cooked meal and some embarrassing games? Well, that's Rendezvous! It was so fun to lead this awesome group alongside some other student leaders, Lindee and Kaitlyn. So much laughter this night!

Best. Group. Ever. 

And now for the biggest event of the week, Rootbeerfest! This one definitely ties for first with the Scavenger Hunt. At Rootbeerfest, the entire campus gets together for root beer floats and snacks to watch a movie on the Brandt Center lawn... on the biggest tv screen you could ever imagine. I am on Social Board this year, which means that I get to help plan and set up events this year, and this one was definitely my favorite to decorate for so far! We watched Hook with Robin Williams and almost froze to death (why it is already cold at night I could not tell you) it was awesome. 

Rootbeerfest setup! (Me, Lindee, Cassie, Kalyn) I adore these friends of mine :) 

Oh and I forgot to mention the best part…we get to keep the cups! Yay for free stuff! 

We concluded the week with Jazz on the Lawn, where we got to drink free Bricks at the Brick house and listen to fancy jazz music in yacht club attire, and last but not least Rollerscamming. Cramming our campus into one rollerskating rink, each student with a different crazy and sometimes hazardous costume, resulted in such a great way to end the week. 

Remember, friends, this was all in ONE WEEK. This is Week One. 

All you seniors out there should really think about coming to join us next year! We have too much fun. Don't miss out. Come join us!

Until next time, friends! Happy Friday!

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

insert serious caption here

So I know it's my first post of the school year, and I know I should be telling you all about week one adventures and how fun everything has been and that you should be here too, but that will have to wait. Because God worked some magic tonight, and I need to write.

Please bear with me. 

Turns out I was wrong about a lot of things. When I say that I am referring to pretty much all of life thus far, but let me get specific for you. 

First I need to rewind. 

Tonight we had our first timeout of the year and there are pretty much no words to describe just how seriously I needed every ounce of it. From the worship songs chosen, to the words spoken--my soul sucked it all in. Ever since I've been back to Nampa (which has been a few weeks now), God has been revealing some things to me that I have been trying to keep hidden for a very long time. Brokenness is something that I have always been afraid of and tried to hide away, but tonight Danny (our new Campus Ministry Coordinator whom God is already working through like crazy) talked about how important it is that we are vulnerable to and open with that brokenness because it is everywhere. We are ALL broken. And it is only through Jesus that we can be healed. He is the only way to be restored. To be made new. 

There are areas in my life that have felt too broken to fix recently. Things that I have kept hidden because of pride or embarrassment or whatever the heck reason my brain came up with any moment I got close to sharing that brokenness. But guess what? Tonight God told me I am being MADE NEW. And that's freaking awesome to hear when you're hopelessly broken. That's a message of hope. 

I don't know if this is even making sense, or if you're reading this and thinking I just sound like a dramatic girl thats on a Jesus high, but really, people. JESUS IS MAKING US NEW. Can you even fathom that?! No matter what you've gone through, no matter how you've been treated, or what people have made you feel or think about yourself, and regardless of what negative thoughts you are thinking in your mind about yourself right this very second… YOU MATTER. You are valuable. And God will turn your darkness to light if you let Him. 

He's the only one that can heal your brokenness. 

So why not let Him?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spkhp41ig4

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

waiting in the morning

Today, I started my day off with a group of girls at the Flying M for a Bible study led by the wonderful Carly Bartlett. For those of you that don't know her, she used to be an admissions counselor here, but just resigned and is now leading a women's ministry at a local church. It was our first time meeting and I can already tell that it is going to be so enriching and wonderful. 

I've recently realized the amazing power of scripture. Not that I didn't think the Bible was important before, but I think it takes certain circumstances and people speaking that truth to you off the top of their heads that makes you see how truly powerful it is. 

This morning, we talked about waiting, which couldn't have been more relevant for my life right now. As I've [probably] already mentioned to you before, God currently has me and my family in a season of uncertainty and awaiting His plan and guidance. I've been struggling to be patient, but also trusting in His provision, became I am a firm believer that He ALWAYS gives what we need. So of course, talking about that this morning really hit home for me. 

This morning I realized the importance of letting God shape me during this waiting period to be prepared for whatever it is I'm waiting for, instead of just sitting here and "twiddling my thumbs", as Carly said, until whatever that plan is comes about. Even while we are waiting, it is important that we persevere and prepare for what God has in store--whether that be a new job, a new relationship, a new home; a closed door, or an open one. We have to let Him mold us while we wait for what He has in store. 

Carly said a beautiful quote regarding this topic that really spoke to me--"Don't run the red light." 

Let me elaborate. 

Sometimes, we feel like we are so ready for something. But that doesn't necessarily mean that right now is God's timing for that something. Even if you're sitting at the front of the line, waiting and waiting for the light to turn green, that doesn't mean that it's smart to go when the light is still red. You wouldn't do that in a real traffic situation, so why would you do that with the things God has you at a red light at? Going through the light before it's green is not only dangerous to you, but those around you. A red light means it isn't time...YET. 

The same applies with our lives. If we do something before it's God's timing to do it--we won't be prepared. HIS timing is best. So it is important that we choose to be patient and trust in that. He will turn the light green when He's ready for us to take off. Until then, we have to listen to what He wants to do in us to prepare us for the green light.

To be still and know that He is God. 

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

compel[led]

I read this quote today. It made me see. 

"Pain and suffering is sometimes what it takes to be completely surrendered to God." 

What a beautiful place to be.

You know when life gets rough and all you can seem to do is compare yourself to those around you? Those times it seems like everyone else has good stuff going for them...everyone but you? 

I realized today that this is such a selfish way to live. And that's how I've been doin' this thing called life recently. 

Seriously, how stupid was I to think that this world could possibly be all about me? 

I went to a worship service tonight called Compel that led me to figure out some stuff that's been going on in my heart. Rich Wilkerson spoke and it hit me in a way that I really, really needed. It was about time that I woke up and realized just how good I have it, even when it feels "bad". 

Even though things aren't going the way I thought they would right now, I can already see how God is using this season to shape me into a stronger daughter of the King. He is showing me how essential it is to rely on him through EVERYTHING, even when I'm upset and hurt and frustrated and broken and overwhelmed. 

It is through this brokenness that I have been able to completely give everything to him. That I have realized that I haven't fully trusted him with certain aspects of my life and it's about time that I let go and give it to him. 

I can't do this on my own.

It's time to turn things around. The past two nights have been full of worship and teaching and refreshment and fellowship. Thanks for that, Jesus. 

I feel compelled to live better. I want to trust even when it's hard, love even when it's difficult, and praise even when life's rough. 

I want people to see Jesus through me without me even having to say a word. 

Seriously, though. This should be our challenge. It's time to live in the light and turn away from the brokenness and darkness. Time to give it up to him. 

Because he's in control.

So do it. 

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

curveball(s)

This baseball game called life just threw me a huge curveball. A couple, actually. 

Things just aren't really going the way that I thought they would be recently. And the hardest part about it is that I was so sure that these things were God's calling--not my own. But now that they aren't turning out the way that I foresaw them to, the way that I thought God said they would... I'm feeling lost. I'm questioning if what I thought was God's voice was really my own all along. And that feels scary.

Everyone keeps saying, "God knows, Allie. He has other plans for you, bigger plans. This isn't working out because he has a different idea of what is good for you right now/this summer/in the future." 

But to me if just feels like I wasn't good enough. 

My heart is in a frail spot right now, and I don't like that. I hate to even admit that because I've realized recently that I'm afraid of weakness. I just want to be strong and not care--but then I realize that if I didn't care that would mean that I wasn't being the person God has created me to be. 

This state of confusion is seriously no fun. 

But at the same time, I have never felt so lifted up. I have the most amazing, encouraging, and influential people around me, and God is using them to speak truth and light and hope into my weary heart.

It is so apparent that in this time, God is making me rely on him, even if I don't want to. He has led me out to deepest waters, but it is only with his help that I can keep my head up above the waves. It is here in this great unknown that his grace and love surrounds me. (Can you tell the song "Oceans" is on my mind?) This is what he has for me right now, and even if I don't like it, I have to accept that.

Calling upon him is a choice, and it's one that I am choosing to make right now. 

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

back

Christmas break is over. 

Goodbye to endless hours on the couch, so much netflix that your eyeballs hurt, thinking about things besides how hard school is, and lack of responsibility. 

Goodbye family, and friends, and sweet California breezes. 

Second semester is here.

Hello to the need for motivation, the hardest nursing semester ever (thanks for the warning, upperclassmen), my last semester as an RA (boo), not enough sleep, too much coffee, and so much reading. 

Hello to new adventures, new relationships, new decisions, and new opportunities. 

This semester is going to be life-changing, and I can feel it. It's like that part before the climax in a super intense movie where you're just sitting at the edge of your seat--waiting. Even if you have to wait a while, it comes. Eventually. 

I don't know if it's weird that I feel like that's gonna happen, but I just feel like God has really been preparing me for a "boom". It might be really good, or it might be really bad...but it's gonna change everything. 

I'm so excited. 

My goal this semester is to really soak it all in. I know I've talked about this a bit before, but I want to make sure that I am enjoying the present moments for what they are without worrying about how they will impact the future ones. I think that's really my goal for this whole year, actually. It's time to not worry about the future and let things happen the way that they're supposed to. Without the stress. 

I read this quote the other day and it inspired this goal in me even more.

"We waste so many days waiting for the weekend. So many nights waiting for morning. Our lust for future comfort is the biggest thief of life." -Joshua Glenn Clark 

Seriously, you guys. Let's enjoy today for TODAY, not for the plans that we made today for tomorrow. Let's embrace the opportunities that we are given NOW, even if they're scary, or out of our comfort zone, or make us question what the future will be like. 

If we only think about the future, we'll never enjoy the present. And being present is the most beautiful thing to be.

Don't let your lust for what will happen take you away from what God's doing in you right now.

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

nothing is a waste if you learn from it.

So, remember how I told you that God has a way of using lyrics to shake my soul and make me notice him?

Yeah, that happened again. 

I've been having a hard time with my past lately. It seems like things keep getting brought up that make me uncomfortable. That make me remember. And I hate that.

I sometimes have a hard time struggling with the gift of grace. I feel like I could never deserve to be forgiven, and because of that I have a hard time forgiving both myself and others for things that happened so long ago. The hardest thing is some people look at me and can't understand why I still dwell on these things, but sin is sin. It doesn't matter how "bad" it is. Anytime you sin you are creating a greater gap between you and your savior. And for someone that is seeking a relationship with Jesus, that can feel really scary.  

Lately, I've felt like I'm not good enough because of stupid sin that still eats at me. It's actually really silly, because I understand that Jesus has wiped it all away. I really do. But I don't think my heart has grasped that yet. Even though Jesus has forgotten, my heart just can't. 

I just want to be good enough. How can I sin against someone who died to save my life? How come I can't control myself and live a life that would be pleasing and perfect in his sight? How can I continue to make mistakes?

Why can't I just get my act together?! 

And then, the song came... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czFgKa7YcIQ

Even though my flesh will never stop failing, my father will never stop forgiving. How AMAZING is that? There is nothing you or I or anyone could do to separate us from his unconditional love if you've chosen him. That's the deal. So why dwell on the things that happened before you decided to really follow him? 

I have made mistakes, and I continue to make them. I continue to fail my desire to live and love well. I continue to face things that have been hard in the past and probably always will be, but the difference is that I've realized something new--

Nothing is a waste if you learn from it. 

How stinkin' powerful is that lyric? Even though I've messed up, it's the mistakes that I have made that have changed me into the person that I want to be. God has chosen to use my sin to mold me into who I am today--that was his plan all along. Because just as I've been reminded time and time again, every flower must grow through dirt. (This quote was sent to me by a friend today. I don't think it was a coincidence.)

"The sun, it does not cause us to grow. It is the rain that will strengthen your soul...it will make you whole." -The Oh Hello's

I feel like the people with the strongest relationships with God are usually the ones that have overcome the storm to get to where they are today. It's making mistakes that helps you to actually see the light. Without darkness, you can't understand what you're missing in the light. And after darkness, the light is that much more beautiful. 

As silly as it may sound, I'm thankful I had my time of darkness. I know now that this time without God, this time in the valley, was all a part of his plan to bring me to the light. To help me learn. To give me room to grow into the flower he wanted me to be. 

Because nothing is a waste if you learn from it.  

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

DONE!

Three semesters down, five to go. 

Those numbers scare me a bit. As much as it feels so wonderful to be done with the hardest semester I've had so far, it just makes me realize how fast this all is going. I feel like it was just this time last year and I was just finishing my first semester of college, and now I'm finished with my third.  

For those of you that haven't had a college experience yet, it's hard to really understand or put into words how sincerely wonderful it is. There is nothing like living on a hall full of twenty one of the greatest girls and staying up giggling until the wee hours of the night, having the opportunity to go to class everyday and learn how to be a better future you, and experience such a beautiful community here at NNU. And the best part of all is that I am being equipped to be a better kingdom worker in the midst of it all. I am learning how to love people with Jesus' love, forgive them with his grace, and speak to them with his words. I am not only learning about my career from an educational standpoint, I am learning from a standpoint that has Jesus at the center. And that's pretty rare.

It's so encouraging to look back and see all that God's done since I've been here. I can't believe that only three semesters ago, I didn't have any of this. It all feels so natural and never-ending now, so thinking about the fact that I am almost half way done hurts my heart a little bit. 

For those of you that are seniors and heading into your last semester of high school, I want to encourage you to treasure every second of it. This last half of the year will go by so fast, and before you know it you'll be like me--three/eighths done with college! Remember that God has you where are you for a reason. He has planted you in the midst of some beautiful stuff that I am sure you would see if you could take a second to stop and look around. He has planted you there not only to grow, but to be the soil for those around you. 

Next semester is going to be one of the best of all time, I can just feel it. I'm sure for you too. So take it in. Savor this precious time! Because you only get to live through this season of life once. Enjoy it.

Tomorrow I leave sweet Nampa for a whole month, and this time it's bittersweet. I think I'm more sad to go than I am happy, which is definitely new for me. As much as I'll love having no homework, I'll miss this place and these people. So dearest people of NNU, if you're reading... I love you. Thanks for making this place far more wonderful than I could have possibly ever imagined. 

Have a Merry Christmas, everyone! I'm sure we'll meet again somewhere along the way :) 

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

restless

This post isn't gonna be some "here's why NNU is fun and you need to come here" post. Not that I don't love writing to you about all the things that I love about this beautiful place-- I do. This one is just going to be different. I can tell you one thing, though. This post is going to be real. It's going to be Allie as her vulnerable and authentic and messy self. Don't say I didn't warn you. 

I feel all stirred up. When I get like this, I just need an outlet. I just need to write it all out so I can gather my thoughts and figure out what it is that's going on in my heart. I need to take a break from the chaos and breathe. Write. It's what makes the jumbled mess in my brain make sense. 

You know those times in life that God is just so obvious? Like when some quote that's read or scripture that's shared or song that's sung hits you right in the chest and you just wanna look up at him and go, "Haha. Good one, God. Clever."

I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but it's been happening to me a lot lately. He's revealing things that are freaking me out but telling me to trust him with it. Which freaks me out even more. 

I like to have my stuff under control. I like to know what I'm going to do and have things planned out the way that I think works best for me. God knows that. 

God's changing that. 

It's so evident to me in this season that I am not holding the reigns anymore. He is. It's what I've prayed for for so long, and this semester I finally was able to let them go. Not that that doesn't freak me out, because it does. But as I've said before, his ways are always far greater. Far more satisfying. He's growing me and molding me and making me see that his plans for me are bigger and better and HIS, not mine.  

And you know what stinks about that? I have to listen. Even if it's scary or overwhelming or uncomfortable or out of my comfort zone, I have to trust. Because his ways are good. I have to believe that. 

There are some things going on in my life right now that are making me lean on God in ways I didn't even know I was ready for. Old things and new things and exciting things and hard things. And the funniest part is that some stuff I would have never seen coming, but he did all along. I keep praying for direction and peace and for him to lead me where I need to go, and everything just keeps turning back to the fact that I need to just TRUST. Trust that he's got everything under control. Trust the song lyrics and bible verses that tell me that he holds my world in his hands. 

That he knows exactly what he's doing. 

For me, that's scary. Because I don't get to plan it. I don't get to choose. He does. 

But tonight, I gave that up. I decided there's no need to be so overcome in something that I can't even decide about. He has to do it. Because my life belongs to him, not to me. 

I'm restless. And I'll continue to be restless until I rest in him, the writer of my story. The editor of my path. The perfecter of my faith.

This journey is his. I just have to trust where he's leading and follow. 

We sang this at timeout tonight and not gonna lie, I felt like it was played just for me. Because God's been doing that. Here's a cover I found online. Soak in the truth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4Mux8lqmdI

#restless #audrey assad

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

that was fast

Guys, for real. Where did the semester go? 

I'm back from break, and we have two weeks of the semester left. 

You know what that means? 

That this week is dead week. Next week is finals week. And the week after that begins a whole beautiful month of NO SCHOOL! 

For those of you that didn't get to experience my lament of a post about dead week (AKA hell week) from last year, please check it out here to understand what I'll be talking about below: http://allieroselovesnnu.tumblr.com/post/37251285954/the-week-of-death

So, last year when we came back from Thanksgiving break, we had three weeks of school left in the semester. Which meant we were given one week for fun, one week for death, and one week for finals. Of course, these three weeks are the only time we have to celebrate Christmas on campus, so there are lots of fun Christmas-y events and parties and treats all around. 

This year, we have been given one less week because Thanksgiving was so late. Which means we have to incorporate all of the Christmas-y-goodness in with the never-ending-homework-and-studying-badness. Which means as an RA, I get to throw most of these events. Which means WAY less time to do the things that I HAVE to get done this week, like my ten page paper that's due Wednesday that I haven't even started. Which means I most likely won't sleep at all. Which means I'll most likely go insane.

WHICH MEANS THIS IS GOING TO BE A CRAY TWO WEEKS. 

I'm not at all trying to complain, here. I love this life and I want to soak it all up and have fun and stay up all night doing homework with my buds and drink never-ending cups of coffee, because that's what college is. I just know my heart is gonna miss that third week of fun this year. 

It's so crazy to think that after these two crazy weeks are over, I'm gonna be half way done with my second year of college. 3/8 of the way done with all of college, as someone wise reminded me. How INSANE is that?! In one more semester I will be half way done with my college experience. As exciting as that is, right now the thought of graduation totally freaks me out. I can't imagine leaving NNU and all of the beautiful people that I've met here! 

Ok, enough of that. It's time for me to go enjoy these two weeks of dorm-wide Christmas celebration! Which obviously means me listening to Taylor Swift's Christmas CD and hanging up lights in my room :) 

Happy week of death, everyone!

#dead week #hell week #christmas is here

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

finally

You know you're home when...

-you go to bed at three in the morning and when you pull your covers down there's a manikin head in your bed. thanks, sister. 

-it's never felt so nice to sit on a toilet seat in your whole life. (not that the dorms are that bad. there's just something about your "home" toilet. call me weird all you want.) 

-you can't wait for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. because your mom bakes like a goddess if goddesses could bake. 

-you are constantly cuddling with your pups. 

-you can sleep in as late as you want, because you don't have class the next day. or the day after that. 

-best. hugs. ever. 

-did I mention there's good food? 

-LAUNDRY IS FREE! 

-your mom spoils you like you're sick even when you're not because she missed you so much. 

-everyone wants to hang out with you. EVERYONE.

and last, but definitely not least.

-you get to sleep in your own, full-sized bed.

So grateful to finally be here! Happy Thanksgiving y'all, soak up this sweet time with your family! I know I'm savoring every moment. 

#thanksgiving break #happy thanksgiving #thankful #home

[allieroselovesnnu-blog]

50 posts!

#50 posts #tumblr milestone