alifolie

[alifolie]

might be an outlier here but when i smell my neighbors smoking weed i just smile and nod its like adjacent to hearing christmas carolers for me… good tidings and joy unto you brother

[alifolie]

best pickup line of our generation

[alifolie]

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

[alifolie]

Hopper season one voice. Uhhhh lemme be clear. We will never search. For lil homie gay ass

[alifolie]

if al pacino isn't gay then who's this old italian guy I've been fisting

[alifolie]

a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog

[alifolie]

[alifolie]

oh my god. you saw the ad and thought WHAT???? im so sorry for the panic, they charged us by the letter!!! no, no, timmy’s thirteen now, we found the baby shoes in an old gift bag in the garage

[alifolie]

You can’t just call the “don’t stop me now” essay writing method the second worst essay method you’ve heard of and not tell us the story of the worst one 👀

i know a guy whose patented essay writing method is to, on the eve of the due date, set an alarm so early it should count as an atrocity, open an empty word doc on his computer and then placing it on his bed,

he then goes to sleep, presumably after drinking a full can of coke, as his immunity to caffeine, adderall, and the general life choices about to be described prove that (1) this man almost certainly is a colossal case of adhd and (2) that is the least of what's wrong with him

when the alarm goes off he immediately starts typing into the word document whilst in a sleep adjacent fugue state. once he hits the required word count, he turns over and goes back to sleep, without ever having fully woken up

he awakens in the morning with however many pages of essay typed up and ready to submit, with no memory of what content is actually contained, as if he'd been visited by santa or a mystical essay delivering fairy or a demon that engaged in a brief bout of possession and then peaced out after rightfully deducing that inhabitation of this particular body and its life was a task said demon was not equal to, nor would continuation of this possession constitute as a desirable state

all of this so that he can have the benefits of an essay, whilst completely avoiding a mental state in which he is at any point fully present in experiencing the pain of writing an essay.

This man is now in graduate school.

#how is this man not a genius

[alifolie]

all of these celebrities are going to fucking hell btw

#domestic violence #what this has shown me more than anything is that you can trust nobody #and i don't just mean celebrities - the amount of people who have made rape jokes to my face about this trial #if you were one of those people just know that there are actual victims who heard you #and now don't consider you a safe person to talk to anymore #rape tw

[alifolie]

this is so terrifying for abuse victims everywhere I can’t get my head around this. she didn’t even name him.. you can’t talk even vaguely about the abuse you suffered without facing the full force of society’s wrath

#domestic violence

[alifolie]

(whispering to the flight attendant) fantastic... very helpful. i've noticed you're wearing the same clothing as several other people... why is that

[alifolie]

the fact that “hyper-marketable indie horror game aimed at children and youtubers who make videos for children” is like a whole genre now is kinda fucked right like what’s up with that

[alifolie]

[alifolie]

they call me jared leto the way i wake up every day and deal w mor bs

[alifolie]

A black dragón floating above the clouds

[alifolie]

“Isn’t it crazy how animal documentaries can make you root for the lion OR the gazelle, just with the editing? Anyway, back to watching hilarious meme clips of an actual real world legal trial.”