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after 2 weeks of constant after-hours bingeing and through-out-the-day snacking, the only thing in my stomach today is black coffee and ALCOHOL (wine).

i wanna be skinny by christmas eve.

#3dnos #3d vent #ed not sheeren #3dblrr

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i gained quite a bit of weight this week… i have time to reverse this. i WILL reverse this..

#i want to ⭐️ve #3dnos #3d vent #ed not sheeren #3dblrr

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i’ve been midnight snacking all week, and i am getting a dominoes pizza made for me as i am writing this.

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i can’t even look at anybody in the room cause they are all eating pizza, and i just want one slice but i feel like i cant.

#3dnos #3d vent #ed not sheeren #3d f4st #i want to ⭐️ve #f4st!ng #⭐️ve #🕯️as a 🪶 #3d rant

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my family bought pizza and offered me a slice. i wanted to say yes soooo bad, but i just couldn’t. i had way too much to eat earlier.

if i didn’t eat earlier, i could’ve had a slice of pizza. and they bought 3 boxes of it, so that’s all i smell, and i want some sooo bad.

god, i love pizza…

#3dblrr #3dnos #3d vent #ed not sheeren #3d f4st #f4st!ng #i want to ⭐️ve #⭐️ve #🕯️as a 🪶 #3d rant

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i don’t feel great i don’t feel good

i’m full of anxiety and wanna die if i could

the pressures of this place is making me ache

slip into the paradise and never wake

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i was eating at 2am this morning.

it’s only been 8 hours, and my stomach’s growling, and my appetite is rising.

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

pray for me, or send me black iced coffee vibes.

#3dnos #3d vent #ed not sheeren #3d f4st #i want to ⭐️ve #f4st!ng #⭐️ve #🕯️as a 🪶 #3d rant

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you mean, i have to STARVE and WAIT for pretty legs???

i want my pretty legs NOW

#3d vent #ed not sheeren #3dnos #🕯️as a 🪶 #3d rant #3dblrr

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tH!n$pØ (boy)

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body checking in a amscot camera screen

#3dblrr

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I'm sorry for all the times my mental health made me a bad friend.

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i don’t weight myself anymore, or count calories

yes, you read that right.

and im still losing weight.

i used to count calories all the time. it was very strenuous on me mentally. it was stressful and also resulted in a lot of guilt whenever i exceeded my cal limit, even just by 100 cals.

but at some point, i decided that i was gonna stop calorie counting, and instead just eat very small portions and/or fast. and i still continued to lose weight. i don’t remember why, i think it was environmental factors, that lead me to changing the way i tracked my food intake.

i don’t have a set calorie limit anymore. i just try to restrict as best i can. occasionally, i would add up the calories in my head, but not often.

however, i was MUCH more attached to my weight and the scale than i was cal counting. i weighed myself multiple times a day every day. i would always keep an eye on the third digit.

119.4

118.6

117.2

116.8

i was fixated on the third digit changing each and everyday. it made me feel like i was finally doing something right. what i was doing, was working.

but whenever i see any weight gain on the scale, my world would come crashing down, it seemed. but then i started losing again, and the number in the scale gave me that euphoric feeling.

honestly, i would’ve loved to have used my scale forever. i had the same scale from 152lbs down to 100.8lbs. that scale saw me at my heaviest, and my lowest, and everything in between. it was almost like a friend, as cringey as that sounds. it was my go to, my solace whenever i needed a reality check. my cheerleader, and also my bully.

i didn’t just up and decided that i didn’t have to weigh myself anymore. my scale started to act funny, and wasn’t being accurate anymore. i was going through a lot at the time, so i didn’t have time or much money to go and find batteries for my scale. i had very pressing matters that i had to focus on, so i felt like i couldn’t weigh myself for a bit, but still restricted/fasted

when my personal life finally started to ease up, a bit, i decided to buy a brand new scale! i felt like i deserved it. but when i stepped on it for the first time, i was in shock. i was a lot heavier than i thought. or maybe that scale was also inaccurate? idk, i just could’ve sworn i was 10lbs less than what the scale was implying.

that day, i decided to give up the scale completely. it was only causing me distress, and was decreasing my quality of life. without the scale, i was much more at ease with my weight loss. i was not controlled by numbers anymore. it’s such a lighter feeling.

i still bodycheck like a motherfucker, and take weird photos of my body and like touching my bones. those are my new “scales”. those are the habits that are keeping me on track, instead of being haunted by the numbers. the real evidence will show on my body.

#3d vent #3dnos #ed not sheeren #3d f4st #i want to ⭐️ve #f4st!ng #⭐️ve #3dblrr #🕯️as a 🪶 #light as a 🪶

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That’s it, that describes my eating habits 🥲

(Not mine)

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ooooo the hunger’s coming on

goodnight 😬

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a lot of y’all love using discord, but i SUCKat discord.

i miss the kik group chats