alexloch37

[alexloch37]

Consensual Non-Consent

The topic of consent has been of growing interest in the news and in other public discussions about sexuality. Awareness on the issues surrounding consent has grown as an increasing number of individuals are publicly coming forward as victims of rape and sexual violence. It sickens me that it is so pervasive. Yes, I have my dark side, but the idea of indulging myself in that way, entirely against someone else's will, leaves me with nothing less than a bad taste in my mouth and a pit in my stomach. I am hopeful that occurrences of these atrocious crimes will soon be on the rapid decline. Consent needs to be a part of any sexual experience for it to be a happy and healthy one.

In the world of kink, the idea of consent generally works the same as in any other sexual encounter. However, in kink, people are beaten, whipped, pinched, and much more. The one binding element that makes these acts acceptable is consent. There is a number of people that disagree with that, claiming that no one should be "abused" even when consent is given, and I strongly disagree. If I want someone to tie me down and torture me with pain, then I should be able to have that experience, provided I find someone willing to administer it. But I think most people reading this are on board with that at some level. The real controversy that comes up in the world of kink is consensual non-consent (often abbreviated con non-con or CNC).

Consensual non-consent basically means that someone consents to having something done to them for a period of time, even if they change their minds during the act (i.e. no safe-words; no take-backs). Personally, con non-con activities are some of my favorites, though I can understand why someone might not like the idea. It does come with added challenges and risks. A participant needs to be in a good mental state and be certain of what they want. In these situations, the participants' trust in each other is even more important than in a regular consensual activity. Closer monitoring of the receiver's physical and mental health will be needed.

I think it is important to clarify that con non-con does not mean that if your partner consents to something, then you get to do it to them no matter what. First of all, there has to be a good discussion about, and understanding of, what con non-con means, and what specific activities and boundaries are going to be involved. It is also very important that the person explicitly consent to the non-consensual element of the activity--there should be no assuming here. And then, even though they have given consent, exceptional care should be taken to not permanently harm the receiver. While I feel that this should all be common sense, I am continually surprised each day by people's lack of empathy or respect for others. In the end, this is still supposed to be a positive experience for all participants.

Further Precautions

This is a list of other precautions to consider when planning a con non-con activity with your partner:

Consult a physician or a mental health professional if you are unsure of the impact of a particular activity on your mental or physical health.

Learn the signs of common health afflictions that could accur during your activities: seizure, stroke, heart attack, fainting, cut-off circulation, suffocation, panic attack, shock, high/low blood sugar, allergic reactions, etc. While care should be taken with your partner, you never know what might go wrong! Make sure you are aware of any specific health conditions that your partner has.

If bondage is involved, learn how to tie or secure your partner correctly to prevent injury. Have an easy way to get them out in case of an emergency: scissors, key to locks, etc.

Know your partner's tolerance limits. If they have consented to being pushed past them, don't push too far. Afterward, you can ask them if they prefer more intensity next time.

Even if you don't like receiving what you will be giving, you should experience at least some of it first so you will have better empathy with your partner.

Make sure you agree upon a duration for the activity. For the first few, start with less time than you think you want. A 10-minute session might sound way too short, but if you find yourself in total agonizing torture that wasn't as fun as you were hoping for, you'll be thankful you started with a shorter duration.

Again, common sense here, but do NOT do anything that is not agreed upon explicitly!

Con non-con activities are usually about 90% fantasy and 10% reality. Most people who want to engage in such activities are envisioning something that doesn't quite translate to a fully simulated experience down to the finest detail. Try to understand it from a fantasy perspective and not something hyperrealistic. An example of this is how some people have rape fantasies, which are con non-con in nature. Seldom does this mean that someone desires a rape experience equal in every way to a real-world rape crime.

Which Activities Are Best for Con Non-con?

Of course, this is entirely up to you. As long as you are making safety a priority and use good ol' common sense, you can come up with all kinds of ideas. Look for those things that you love to hate. Those things that your mind loves, but your body just won't let continue. Or look for those things that you like because of the challenge. Good candidates are things that make you say a safe word when you didn't really want to. Below is a list of some ideas to get you thinking (admittedly biased towards my personal interests). These all assume the receiver is in bondage.

Nipple pinching: You can put someone in a lot of pain with little effort, and without causing lasting damage. Their eyes will light up and probably shed a few tears.

Spanking: A very common activity among the kinky. What if you can't stop it?

Ice: One of the most dreaded sensations. Run ice cubes along your partner's naked body. You might need a gag for this one; It's prone to eliciting screams of bloody murder! Your neighbors will think you're cutting them.

Toothpick torture: That's right, toothpick torture. Poke all over their naked body with a toothpick. Sharp enough to hurt, but dull enough to easily avoid breaking the skin. This can be very painful or ticklish in tender areas. Especially fun when they are blindfolded and don't know where you will strike next.

Tickling: If your partner is ticklish, they will try to chew off their arms to escape. Super fun! You may need that gag for this one too! Otherwise, if you go hard on them, prepare to loose some hearing and to listen to them curse you to the foulest pits of Hell between their laughs.

Itching: Give them an itch they can't scratch. tickle their nose with a paintbrush or run a string across their body. It's maddening!

Post-orgasm Torture: This is a good way to make someone hate you for a week. If you don't know what this is, it is essentially stimulating someone past the point of orgasm, which can be unbearably intense. Most describe it as painful or extremely ticklish. For many, it can be so effective, I strongly recommend doing no more than 30 seconds on your first try–Yes, you read that right: no more than 30 seconds to start!

Orgasm Denial & Edging: This can be brutal torture that has an equally strong pleasure element to it. You can play with them and stimulate them as much as you want, but delay or deny them their orgasm–It's wicked!

Chastity: Put them in a chastity device and you keep the key. This works especially well on males. If they've been bad, no release for them! Keep them in it for two weeks, teasing them to insanity with your body in the meantime. You'll never hear anyone beg like a man in a chastity device stuck in a room with a naked woman.

Random: Let them consent to having one of several possible things being done to them. Use dice, cards, or some other method to randomly choose which it will be!

Aftercare & Communication

Some people need more aftercare than others, and the specific activity you engaged in can make a big difference as well. Even if you or your partner don't normally find the need for it, aftercare should definitely be considered and discussed for con non-con activities. It brings both people back to a state of reality, and affirms that what just occurred was more representative of fantasy than anything else. It helps to unwind the tension, stress, and any feelings still lingering from the experience. What you do as aftercare is up to you, but consider these ideas: whispering gentle soothing things in their ear, cuddle in a comfy place, foot or back massage, watch a fun movie, eat some comfort food, listen to some calming music,take a nap together. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you also discuss the con non-con experience with them at some point before engaging in a new one. It doesn't have to be right away, but don't let too much time pass either. It's best to reflect on the experience with each other before memories and feelings become distorted by time. You want to learn how each other feels about the experience, what was liked, what was disliked, what could be done differently, and what to keep the same. Constructive communication is a cornerstone in building a strong healthy relationship and should always be prioritized.

#tword community #tickle thoughts #bdsmkink #bdsmplay #bdsmlife #bdsm #edging kink #edging and denial #denial #consent

[alexloch37]

My Kinks

For the Uninitiated

Kinks are strong sexual interests that are generally considered to be abnormal. Due to the relative rareness of each kink, they are often misunderstood by the greater public, leading many with the kinks to keep them as closely guarded secrets (often even withholding their deviant desires from their long-time lovers). Some of the more commonly recognized kinks are foot fetishism and BDSM. This page lists the kinks that I have personal experience with, or interest in.

The Kinks

Many of these are interrelated or overlapping in concept. There's a clear theme of helplessness and torment among my kinks. Those who are not as familiar with the world of kink might think that I must be a dangerous or abusive person, but I am really quite loving, considerate, and kind. I make an extra effort to ensure a partner is comfortable and willing to engage in an activity.

Tickling

That's right, tickling. Upon hearing that someone is into tickling, most people's initial reaction is "Oh, ha-ha! Very funny," until they realize it's not a joke, at which point the look of shock and horror appears on their faces (which admittedly turns me on). So what is it about tickling that I like? Prepare yourself--I like to tie a girl down and tickle torture her! I love to watch her laugh, struggle, squirm, and beg. I love that look of pleading anticipation in her eyes as I move my menacing fingers closer and closer. I like to tickle all over a girl's body. The more ticklish she is, the better.

Now, you might be thinking, "how cruel! How would you like it if she tickled you like that?" Well, I would like it a lot, actually! It does make me nervous, and I need to trust the girl, but I love being tickled almost as much as I like to tickle. Women typically have longer fingernails though, which feels like an unfair advantage!

Bondage

You know, being tied up. It's a little more sophisticated than that though. Bondage is just as much of an art to me as it is a sexual practice. There are countless ways to tie someone up, and different tools and complementary accessories to incorporate. There's rope, chains, stocks, racks, cuffs, straps, collars, bars, blindfolds, gags, and more! I like being bound as well as binding others. The greatest appeal to bondage is the freedom it gives you to do things to your partner--Things that they would otherwise reflexively try to stop you from doing. Too ticklish? Too bad. Are my hands too cold? Too bad. As always, there is the element of consent, but sometimes even when your mind consents, your body doesn't get the memo.

Orgasm Denial

At first thought, this probably sounds horrible (and it can be), but there are many different practices related to the term, and different people use it differently. Some like to go extended time without orgasm at the instruction of their dominant partner. Sometimes, to ensure there is no cheating, a lockable chastity device will be used. While chastity can be a hardcore dedicated kink of its own, only short term chastity for about a week or two at a time is appealing to me. For me, orgasm denial is much more focused on a teasing element. Being reminded of the unscratchable itch, and occasionally being stimulated to make that itch worse, is a mind-bending experience.

Edging / Tease & Denial

It sounds a little innocent, but this can be devastatingly frustrating (in a fun way). I'm convinced that a girl could make a guy confess to a murder he didn't commit using this. The idea is that the guy is bound so he can't escape. Then the girl stimulates him to the edge of orgasm, but doesn't let him have it. Keeping him as close to the edge as possible. The body tries to compensate by increasing its sensitivity, but that just makes it more frustrating. It can be difficult for someone to get used to administering this without triggering an orgasm, but if done right, it is mind numbing torture. Minutes feel like hours. Your body goes through swings of extreme desperation and animalistic behavior. In this state, I have spoken in tongues, screamed at the top of my lungs for mercy, tried to bite my partner, and cried like a little girl. Following up an orgasm denial session with some edging tied to a bed is wicked torture.

Post-orgasm Torture

This refers to continued stimulation of the genitals after orgasm. Typically performed on men. I have a serious love-hate relationship with this one. This is another one where, if the girl is feeling evil, she can easily make you cry. After orgasm, the body becomes hypersensitive. In fact, people become unbearably ticklish after orgasm. While I love to be tickled severely, this is a level of ticklishness that I still can't bring myself to try. That's how sensitive the body gets. The areas that are normally most sensitive are affected even more so (e.g. the penis). If a woman keeps stimulating the penis after orgasm, it will be Hell for the guy.

So what does it feel like? Well, it's a very intense sensation that feels like a cross between a tickle and pain. Its so overwhelming that I feel the penis stimulation directly inside my brain, almost as if a feather were stroking the tender tissue of the brain itself. Warning to all guys out there: If you are going to have a girl do this to you, make sure you trust her (and that you haven't done anything to make her angry)!

Foot Fetish

I think most people are familiar with this one. Mine is not as extreme as for many other men, but I definitely have an affinity for women's feet. I personally prefer smaller feet (around size 6 or 7 US) with well-defined arches and pudgy medium-length toes. I like to tickle them, suck on them, and massage them. I know that feet completely disgust some people; I am definitely not one of those!

Pain

This is not an extreme kink for me, but I do like it. I'd say it's a bit of a seasonal kink--It comes and goes. I have an unreasonably high pain tolerance, over most of my body, and like whipping, caning, spanking, pinching, scratching, biting, poking, and stretching. I also like to do these to a woman, but am usually a little reluctant due to being over cautious.

Bastinado/Falaka

In case you are unaware, these are terms that refer to the striking/whipping/caning of the feet (typically the soles). The feet are extremely sensitive, and so a great deal of pain can be inflicted with little effort and with no permanent damage (when done correctly!). Bondage makes this a much more intense experience. For the infliction of pain on the soles of the feet, I am especially fond of using rubber bands.

Temperature

Ice and heat. Great for torturing your partner. Obviously, care needs to be taken to ensure that temperature and exposure is such that burns and frostbite do not occur, but otherwise, temperature variations make for a fun sexual experience. Want to try it out? Tie your partner up and zap their naked torso with chilled water using a squirt gun. Soak your hands in ice water until you can't take it, then play with their breasts or genitals. Drip hot candle wax across their body (SAFETY NOTE: The type of wax is important!). Run ice cubes along their naked body and listen to their gasps and squeals!

Water

This one is a little more abstract than the others. Water has always added an extra spice to sexuality for me. When it rains, I get relaxed and often think about sex. Who doesn't think about hotties when they think of the beach or a swimming pool? There is a clean, fresh, beautiful element to it. Who doesn't love wet t-shirt contests? A woman taking a shower? Sexy! A woman taking a shower under a waterfall? Very sexy! A woman inviting you to join her under that waterfall? The sexiest!

Cartoons / Animations

Not a very big thing for me, but I do like it. Cartoons and anime allow the imagination to get some healthy exercise. Cartoons bring to life fantasies that could otherwise never be explored. Like abstract tentacle porn? Need space aliens? Prefer women with three breasts? There's an artist for you!

Other Kinks

These kinks do not reflect my personal desires, but are interesting to me from a psychological/conceptual standpoint.

Furry

A furry is someone who has an affinity for animal, or animal-like characters. Often, this involves dressing up like a character and/or taking on an Internet persona of a character. Furry activities and interests do not have to be sexual, but definitely can be. Furries are fascinating to me, though I'm not really sure why. I am not a furry myself. I wouldn't mind if a girl wanted to wear cat ears or claws or something like that, but that's about as far as I'd personally go. Broadly speaking, the furry community seems to be pretty cool.

Tentacles

A growing number of people have a thing for tentacles. Not to necessarily be confused with octopods or squid. Usually it manifests as a sexual desire to be stimulated by obscure tentacles disassociated with any actual creature. Tentacles are very alien-like to us humans. They seem to have a mind of their own and don't easily communicate their intentions except by doing. Their shape and structure seem to us only to be their to "get us." It's no wonder that people have projected this to their fantasies. It also could play on internalized guilt for some people. After all, they didn't do it...The tentacles held them down and violated them in the most devilish ways. I don't really identify as someone who is into this, except maybe in the scope of tickling. I guess I do somewhat like the idea of a girl being violated by tentacles. It's just not something I'm driven to think about.

Voyeurism

Essentially spying on people doing naughty things. Sure, I like to watch girls in their sexy summer clothes walk around at the park. Admittedly, I even wouldn't mind if the sexy neighbor chick accidently left her blinds open when changing. That being said, it's just not something that dominates my thoughts in a way that I would call it one of my kinks.

#tickling #bdsmkink #tword content #edging and denial #edging kink

[alexloch37]

Tickling Fetish Symbol

I created this image some time ago for myself, but was inspired by my wife and two new friends of ours to share with everyone. It is my hope that this symbol comes to represent the tickling fetish and the tickling community. It is highly inspired by the design of the users "subtle_feather" and "-Hari-" on the TMF from about 10-12 years ago. It depicts a simplified neuron with each of its five equidistant branches stretching from the main neuron body outward, eventually bifurcating into two smaller branch ends that make contact with the single surrounding outer ring. A hole is in the center of the body of the neuron.

The main body of the neuron represents each individual in the tickling community. The hole in its center represents the void that is felt within the individual that can only be filled by tickling or being tickled.

The five main branches represent the five fingers and five toes of the human hand and foot. Fingers being one of the most primal and instinctive things one uses to tickle another person, and toes, along with the feet they are attached to, being one of the most primal and instinctive things to tickle. The tight, outstretched look of the branches represent the desperate need to touch and be touched, as well as the effect that one's body being stretched out has on their sensitivity.

The two smaller branch ends found on each of the five main branches represent the 'lee and 'ler roles of tickling, as well as the two main categorical types of tickling: hard and soft.

The outer ring represents the tickling community. It's contact with the branches represents the individuals connection to others in the community and the importance of the interpersonal connections required to have a fulfilled tickling experience.

The symbol follows the typical formula used in most successfully adopted symbols: The color, contrast, and design are simple and it is very distinguishable from other unrelated symbols. It is discreet enough that the subject matter it represents cannot be easily ascertain by the uninitiated, but for those introduced to it, it is easily recognizable.

While other icons and imagery are used and recognized in the tickling community, such as feathers, feet, etc., these were not visually incorporated into this symbol, as they each more represent subsets of the tickling experience. The neuron, from which the image was based, gets to the core of what makes tickling possible.

#tickling #tword community #tickle art #tickle thoughts #tickletorture #tickle content #tkl art #tickling symbol