akihairandmakeup-blog - Tumblr blog

akihairandmakeup-blog · 5 years

Text

My Journey To Diagnosis

Endometriosis is a chronic, systemic inflammatory disease that doesn’t have a cure. 1 in 10 women have endometriosis, yet it is one of the least researched and understood diseases. Average time of proper diagnosis is 7 – 10 years. I began experiencing symptoms of Endo when I was 13, yet didn’t get a diagnosis until I was 27.

Endometriosis acts like a cancer as in the cells rapidly divide, grow and invade any surrounding tissues and organs. This causes a lot of internal bleeding and severe damage to organs accompanied by unbearable pain.

I went through this pain for more than 10 years before I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis. Every month I would take 2 – 3 days off from school during my cycle. Curl myself in bed, unable to eat anything and if I did eat something, I will vomit which makes the pain worse. I have a twin sister who have normal periods. My mum would always compare the two of us and give extra attention and care for me. Years passed by and my pain was getting worse. I was rushed into A&E several times during college and uni days. I’ve been to so many hospitals and seen countless number of doctors. Every doctor concluded the case with just a ‘bad period’.

After graduating in BA Accounting and Finance, I got my first job as an Accounting Assistant. I didn’t want this horrible illness to interfere with my new job so I managed to get some temporary medication to balance my hormones. My GP prescribed me with contraceptive pills which is a temporary cure to help with the pain. Even though it had several side effects such as migraines, mood changes, nausea, night sweats, etc, I managed to adjust to it.

Three years passed by, I was almost 25 and was getting ready to get married and move in with my childhood sweetheart. I’ve been with my husband since school days, for more than 15 years now. Both our parents accepted our relationship early which made things easier for us. We both agreed on starting our family as soon as we get married as we had no reason to wait. So, a year prior to our wedding, I decided to come off the contraceptive pills to bring my hormone levels back to normal and prepare my body to conceive. I had to go through several months of painful periods without the pill, in hope that I will be able to conceive as soon I get married and I will have a break from periods while I am pregnant. However, things did not go that way. I was rushed into A&E several times between this time when I have severe pain. I had to take time off from work frequently but was unable to explain the actual reason at work as I was not diagnosed then.

I went through depression because I was unable to lead a normal life and had no idea what was going on with my body. I was unable to continue my job as I was going through this unexplainable pain and confusion. To divert my mind from all this I decided to quit my job and take on my passion and started this Makeup Artist journey 2 years ago in March 2017. The reason I chose this job is because it does not hold a schedule the way that most other careers do. Every job has it’s own call time. Some may be in the middle of the night and some could be in the middle of the day. I love being able to set a schedule of my choosing. You can accept the jobs that coincide with the life you are living and refuse the ones that are not. In other words, you will be working to live around your schedule, not living to work around someone else’s, which was totally convenient for me. One good thing about my periods were that my dates were pretty regular. So, I avoid taking bookings around those dates. Even then, I had two awful experiences where I had to work in pain as my dates messed up.

One occasion was when I was booked for a Bridal Saree draping job in Central London. Total cost for this job was only £100 including travel since I was new to the wedding industry. I usually drive to my jobs but in this case since I was unable to drive due to the pain, therefore I had to take a cab to the venue and back home, which cost me over £150. I didn’t eat or drink anything that morning because I usually throw up when I’m in pain. Even then I brought a couple of carrier bags with me in case I threw up in the car but thank god I didn’t. I had no other choice because I respect my job and I cannot let my client down on the day of the event and break the trust.

Later on another occasion, I was booked for a pre-wedding photo shoot in Cornwall, which is roughly 5 hours drive from my place. I didn’t want to travel alone as I had to stay over for a night so my husband accompanied me on this trip. I was looking forward to this job since it was my first job far from home and to make it more special, my husband was with me. But the happiness didn’t last long at all! On our way to Cornwall we took a break in-between to have lunch. When I went to refresh myself, all my excitement was flushed away in the toilet as my period came a week early.

Luckily, we were next to a petrol station, so I managed to get hold of sanitary pads and painkillers. I was praying to God to give me strength to bare the pain for the next couple of days.

First Pre-wedding look was scheduled to be shot that evening so once we arrived at the hotel, I unpacked my kit and got the bride-to-be ready. The pain was bearable, so I managed to do my job with less trouble. But the pain was increasing slowly and I had a sleepless night in fear worrying about the next day. The following day I was scheduled to do two different looks, one in the morning and one in the afternoon and head home in the evening. The pain was unbearable in the morning. I had to take several breaks in between to vomit because that’s one of the worst parts of my severe period pain.

More than the pain, it was extremely embarrassing in front of the new people I just met and I couldn’t explain the name for my illness because it was just a ‘bad period’ like the doctors named it. Never the less, I managed to complete my job and my client was happy with the looks I created which gave a satisfaction before I left to head home.

That 5-hour car journey home with my husband is the most unforgettable journey in my life.

I wanted to cry out all the pain I was holding that I couldn’t show in front of everyone. The pain was intolerable, and I was crying through out the journey. At one point, my husband lost his patience and began to get frustrated with me. Like every other person, my husband trusted the doctor’s words that there is nothing wrong me and it’s just a bad period. So, he assumed my pain is normal like his sister’s and every other girl’s but I’m exaggerating and making a drama. That’s the day I felt the meaning to ‘Words hurt more than actions. Actions hurts our body, but words hurt our soul.’

Initially he was very supportive when I decided to quit my Accounting job and was happy to support me financially as it would take time for me to grow in the wedding industry before I can start doing bridal jobs. But watching me go through pain during my job, he assumed I’m not even able to do that simple job. He shouted ‘Stop crying and overdramatising, It’s better for you to quit everything and sit at home and do nothing because that’s all you’re capable of doing. Your voice is irritating me, if you don’t stop crying, I will get off the car and walk home.’ I had no strength to respond since I was mentally and physically drained out.

We finally reached home. My husband opened the house door for me and left. I filled a hot water bottle to ease my pain and curled myself in bed. I really wanted to get some sleep to rest my mind and body but all I could hear in my mind was my husband’s words repeating how useless I was.

I began to judge myself through everyone else’s eyes. I started to doubt myself whether my pain is real or am I over reacting. The one and only person I wished who would trust me and give all the love and support even doubts my pain, this led me into making wrong decisions. I couldn’t imagine living with this pain for the rest of my life, so I decided to take my own life. I took the 12 pain killers that were left in the new pack I bought the previous day and went to sleep in hope that I will not wake up the following day. But little did I know that my body was strong enough that exceeding the stated dose does nothing to my body. I was perfectly fine the next morning. I sat my husband down and told him how hurt I was by his words and it led into taking the tablets last night. He felt extremely bad about what he did and apologised. Soon things were back to normal between us.

Never in a million years did infertility cross my mind so after several months of trying to conceive, without any positive results I began to have serious concerns. I explained the situation to a new gynaecologist at my GP surgery, who was also an endometriosis specialist. After a scan, I learnt I had a large cyst on my left ovary that needs to be removed (laparoscopic) surgery which could increase my chances of getting pregnant, but I was told I may lose an ovary. My husband and I decided to do it as it would also help my pain.

Following my operation, my surgeon explained she had removed the cyst, managed to keep my ovaries intact, remove my left fallopian tube which was totally damaged and there was much more than that. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 endometriosis!

There are four stages of endometriosis: minimal, mild, moderate, or severe endometriosis.

Minimal endometriosis also called stage 1 endometriosis and is characterized by isolated implants and no significant adhesions.

Mild endometriosis (stage 2) is characterized by superficial implants that measure less than 5 cm in diameter without significant adhesions.

Moderate endometriosis (stage 3) involves multiple deep implants, small cysts on one or both ovaries, and the presence of flimsy adhesions.

Severe endometriosis (stage 4) this is the final stage. consists of multiple deep implants, large cysts on one or both ovaries, and thick adhesions. In addition, infertility is likely with stage 4 endo.

I was given pictures of how a normal women’s reproductive system would look and how my one looked from the pictures they took during the surgery. Everything was explained clearly and all my questions were answered. But there was something that I was not ready for. I had to wait 6 months to heal from this surgery and would need to under go another surgery to remove the rest of the endometriosis. My surgeon also confirmed that I will not be able to conceive naturally due to the damages caused by endometriosis so our only option is IVF. But there is only less than 0.8% chance of success.

I felt a slight relief after the surgery having more knowledge about my illness and was preparing myself for surgery number two. I was told having normal periods between the two surgery could cause more pain and damage to my organs, therefore I was on an injection called ‘zoladex’ to stop my periods are prepare my body for the next surgery which is much more complicated compared to the previous one. There are several side effects related to this painful injection: hot flashes, sweating, migraine, dizziness, mood changes, bone pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, loss of appetite, sleep problems (insomnia), and much more. I managed to overcome all this and currently recovering from my second surgery...

#endometriosis

0 notes