adam-watches-movies

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

Despite everything, I almost recommend watching Final Destination 3 on DVD. It may be bad but there’s more to a film than just being good or bad. Watching the decisions play out and then rewinding the movie to see what the other choices mean is kind of fun. It’s just a novelty, but details like this make a huge difference. There are few legitimately good things about it, but if you’re curious, check it out. The Choose Your Fate game made me feel like the time I wasted was irreversibly flushed down the toilet to join other undesirable stinkers, but well wasted nonetheless. (Full-screen version on DVD, August 29, 2016)

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

When I was playing, I answered “Yes, he was worth saving”. Maybe given a few years, he could redeem himself. That’s what prison is theoretically for, right? Who knows, Frankie might one day become a champion of feminism, or come up with the cure for cancer! But the movie disagrees. If you select this option, it replays the clip you just saw; “proof” he’s irredeemable. You can’t escape it until you say “No”.

  "I’ve heard enough. I’d rather dive into a tank of toxic waste than watch “Final Destination 3”. Click here. “These arguments are ridiculous! I’m going to leave rude comments about how your opinion sucks and I won't even bother to spell-check it!” Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

You manage to save Frankie from a truly dreadful end. Sure, it would’ve been over pretty quick but it’s so violent you wouldn’t wish it upon ANYONE. He lives and you get to know him a little better. You find out that at heart, he’s a sad virgin; that he boasts a big game because he’s insecure. Then, he gets busted for some upskirt camera work. It’s crime he deserves to be punished for, obviously, but it's not a capital offense. He might've even learned a lesson after this near-death experience! The film then proceeds to ask you “Was he really worth saving?” What do you think?

“Yes, he may be a pervert, but he didn’t deserve to die!” Click here. “No way!” Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

You manage to save Frankie from a truly dreadful end. Sure, it would’ve been over pretty quick but it’s so violent you wouldn’t wish it upon ANYONE. He lives and you get to know him a little better. You find out that at heart, he’s a sad virgin; that he talks a big game because he’s insecure. Then, he gets busted for some upskirt camera work. It’s crime he deserves to be punished for, obviously, but it's not a capital offense. He might've even learned a lesson after this near-death experience! The film then proceeds to ask you “Was he really worth saving?” What do you think?

Yes, he may be a pervert, but he didn’t deserve to die! Click here.

“No way!” Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

I will give the picture credit - at least partially - for the DVD release. When you hit “Play”, you’ll notice that you’re given the option to “Choose Their Fate”. The alternate paths range from people dying in a slightly different manner to people surviving all the way to the end when they would have normally died. You can even save EVERYONE, which makes for a hilarious and very short horror movie. It’s not perfect. Some of the choices create plot holes or don’t make a whole lot of sense. One involving the afore-mentioned Frankie Cheeks is particularly disappointing.

Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

As you walk over to your shelf of movies, turn on the TV, and get ready to check out your own copy of Final Destination 3 to prove Adam wrong, you realize something is horribly amiss. The wrong disc is inside the case.

"Where's my horror movie, and who's replaced it with a copy of 2018's A Wrinkle in Time? How did this colossal disappointment even make it into my home?"

You shudder at the thought that someone might have found it in your possession and thought you actually enjoyed the would-be franchise-starter.

"That's a scary thought," you think as you hurl the disc with all your strength towards the trash can - and miss. The DVD bounces off the rim, flies up into the air, falls onto your player's remote, and falls onto the tray, which closes. Shocked, you take a step back and slip, knocking the Final Destination 3 case behind the shelf and out of sight. As you fall onto your usual spot on the couch, hit your head against the back wall and knock yourself out, the movie begins to play. You wake up hours later, surrounded by your family in friends with worried looks on their faces. No believes you just watched the film a dozen times “by accident”. As they prepare an intervention, you scream at a fate nearly as horrible as a tiger-related death.

THE END

Start over? Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

More frustrating with this third instalment is that none of the characters from the first two movies return. It sounds like a minor detail but it means Wendy and all her friends have to run around like chickens with their heads cut off until they do a bunch of research and figure out that they’re in a Final Destination movie. You already don’t like these people and now you have to wait for them to catch up with you. Tony Todd does provide what you could arguably call a cameo, but his character doesn’t appear. He simply phones in a couple of lines for the opening sequence. If you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss him.

"It sounds like you're the one who wasn't paying attention. I remember this being great" Click here. "Is there anything good about this movie? Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

The story by Glen Morgan and director James Wong just doesn’t feel right. You know who's going to live and who's going to die. You know in what order. The film shamelessly throws nudity on the screen in to make you forget how lame this script is. The whole affair is often contrived - which says a lot considering we've had three movies built on Rube-Goldberg machines - and frequently dull. Even gore-hounds are likely to check their watch despite the abundant flow of blood.

"Well, I didn’t see the first two movies so I probably won’t have this problem." Click here. "Well, I'm a fan so I won't mind seeing too much of the same, particularly if it continues the overall story." Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

Even when the targets to be killed have fulfilled their roles, you won't be having fun. The film is trying too hard to impress the audience with elaborate, gruesome trips to the grave and in doing so, has lost track of what made the first films good. A perfect example is a scene in which ditzy Ashley (Chelan Simmons) and Ashlyn (Crystal Lowe) go to a tanning salon and get a bronzing worthy of Freddy Krueger. The scene begins with them doing something they’re not supposed to: bringing a drink in the room where their tanning beds are located. What made the deaths so eerie in the previous films was that they looked like suicides, or happened in a way that almost seemed to point to the hero as the perpetrator. Now, Death can take a break. These young women would've gotten themselves killed one way or another.

"It sounds like they weren't concerned with telling a good story; just making ANYTHING with the name attached to it". Click here.

"Well, I'm a fan so I won't mind seeing too much of the same, particularly if it continues the overall story." Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

Final Destination 3 doesn't even pretend to be about anything but increasingly creative and gruesome deaths. There are no characters; only a bunch of walking, talking slabs of meat to be shoved in the grinder at regular intervals. The most likeable human we meet is Wendy (Winstead) but even then you only care about her because she isn’t some stupid bimbo or a pervert that likes to take upskirt pictures of teenage girls. Everyone she's saved you want to see decapitated quickly so you can move on with your life.

 "But what about the deaths?" Click here.

"So, is there anything good about this movie?" Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

In its attempt to follow the franchise's established formula, this third chapter has screwed up majorly. Not only is the big money shot of people falling to their death, getting crushed and/or skewered by the roller coaster nothing compared to the highway crash from #2, it creates a gigantic plot hole! 

"I don’t know… maybe you just missed a detail that explained it all." Click here.

"So it starts off rocky. Can it recover from there?" Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

As you begin typing a smarmy comment, you are too distracted by your own swollen head to realize your phone has started vibrating. A city-wide alert of an escaped tiger goes unnoticed! The phone continues to vibrate and falls off your desk, into the garbage can where it finds itself drowning in a half-finished orange slushie. Alerted by the noise, you scoop the phone out of the garbage can, knocking it over. The sticky orange liquid crawls along the floor, mixing with coffee grounds to create a familiar pattern of orange and black. Frustrated by the mess you’ve created, you curse loudly, so loudly every window in your house shatters. Your floor is now covered with jagged shards of glass ready to shred your feet like a blind editor shreds an already crappy horror movie. You lament your shoes, now uselessly waiting for you by the front door. Being the kind of person that reads internet blogs in their underwear, you don't even have the option of using your clothes as makeshift shoes! You take a gamble and wrap your delicious breakfast of a dozen slices of tasty bacon around your feet. Unfortunately, you underestimated the sizzling factor. The bacon burns your skin and, unable to control your balance, you fall face-first onto the carpet of broken glass. While pushing yourself out of the ever-growing pool of your own blood, you hear a growl behind you. It’s the tiger! It came in through the now-open window! Soon, there isn’t enough left of you to fill in a shoebox, much less disagree with educated movie reviews.

The END

Start over? Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

The film shoots itself in the foot mere minutes in and then never recovers. The big death scene at the beginning? It only happens because one of the passengers, a sleazeball named Frankie Cheeks (Sam Easton) drops his camera, onto the track. When Wendy freaks out and he gets off, how does the crash still happen? “I have an answer!” Click here. “You’re right! That makes no sense!” Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (Continued)

It means there’s an imbalance in the universe, that Death’s plan has been disrupted. Perhaps there’s an actual need to balance the scales. More than likely, Death is just upset its gruesome roller coaster spectacle has been thwarted.

Click here.

[adam-watches-movies]

Final Destination 3 (2006) - Continued

As Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and her friends are about to get on a roller coaster, she has a premonition. Her horrific vision causes several of her schoolmates to get off the ride moments before a tragic - and fatal - malfunction. It’s a Final Destination film so you know what that means… right?

No? Click here.

Yes! Click here.

#Final Destination 3

[adam-watches-movies]

There's a music critic on YouTube that I follow called "theneedledrop." One of the things that I like about him is that he's constantly introducing me to music I'd otherwise never hear of. I enjoyed going through your reviews. I think they're well-written, warm, and often funny but I'd like to see you cover some films that are more underground - quality stuff that's accessible (preferably on Netflix.) Other than that, I think your blog is great - please keep it up.

Firstly, thank you for the compliments. As for finding quality stuff on Netflix, there are a couple of things I could do to help. I should clarify first that I rarely, if ever, watch films on Netflix. I don’t even have an account myself. When I watch films, I go to the theater, rent them from the video store franchise I used to work at or pull them directly from my extensive collection. With that said, I do have easy access to an account and could check what is “new to Netflix” and see if there’s anything on there that I’ve previously written a review for (whether it’s been posted yet or not) that I could bring to people’s attention. (In theory, I could even watch said films, should I find the time between all of the franchises I have to catch up on). It should also be noted that I live in Canada and our Netflix lineup will vary from other countries’. I’ll see what I can do and again, thanks for the feedback.

#movie reviews #film reviews #movies #films #reviews #netflix #video rental stores #adamwatchesmovies

[adam-watches-movies]

Just wanted to clarify, Leonardo DiCaprio was in Critters 3 not Critters 2. Critters 2 is actually my favourite of the Critters movies. However, Critters 3 is, to my mind, the worst. What's your view of the Critters movies? Have you any opinions on the recent fan film "Critters: Bounty Hunter"? (The fan film is on Youtube on the Jordan Downey channel btw.)

Yes you’re right. I don’t know how I made that mistake because I have the DVD on my shelf. I guess while I was proof-reading it’s a dumb mistake that I missed, so I’m going to have to rectify that. As for the movies themselves, I actually just finished viewing them recently, so I have an opinion on all 4. I’ll put them up in the next couple of days. I’ll see if I can check out that fan film. I’m curious to see what fans would to to pay homage to the franchise.