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Dinosaur cat

This cat was there when Betty White was born

This cat was there when they crucified Jesus

This cat saw the rise and fall of civilizations long forgotten

Bet this cat knows how to burn a CD

Hey, if you're a minor and you're following my blog, I just need you to be aware:

You have been on this earth for fewer years than my cat has.

She turns 20 this week, everyone please say happy birthday 🥳💖

#I was just talking about my own birthday on the 26th

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(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

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(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

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Call me an NPC the way this bitch got me saying the same shit OVER AND OVER again and she still don't fucking get it.

#This is me trying to explain anything to my parents

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My wife: Are you making a list of fonts?

Me: No, worse. I'm replicating the titles of video games but it's the fonts that they're in

My wife: What does that mean

Me: This

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It's my birthday.

Obviously I'm not gonna tell you how old I am turning, but I have been old enough to be allowed on those sites.

#birthday

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enough reclaiming slurs, I think in 2023 we should reclaim nascar. they banned the confederate flag on all properties & their stance on lgbtq+ isn’t just performative bc in 2013 they fined a driver 10k for using a homophobic slur, condemned indiana in a statement for an anti lgbt law, and partnered w carolina’s lgbt+ chamber of conference in 2022. nascar was founded by anti-cop moonshiners/bootleggers who drove suped-up fords to out-run the police. #yaaascar

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diversity loss this trans man is just as much of an emotionally unavailable avoidantly attached brick as any cis guy

#I really do be Mario from Kart

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Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

#The brutalities of the Absurd

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Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

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Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

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Middle in practice and by birth

Saw a sibling poll and needed to expand it because I fit, like. Mid youngest, youngest in theory only child in practice, and adopted. And I think they all have their own unique parts in the sibling ecosystem.

#our parents almost left me in Disney Worlds Magic Kingdom.

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i read CS Lewis’ A Grief Observed one time years ago and i’m still not recovered from it

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best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)

some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.

YOU WILL NEED:

5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)

preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).

in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.

set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.

spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.

slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)

#recipes

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ask spam continued: sports or video games, which do you like more sweetie?

I tried tennis (hitting a ball back and forth without any actual game rules) with a friend once so maybe I would like that, and I really liked kickball in school. But I think if I ever tried to actually play officially with a team or club I would die.

I much prefer video games. I like the stories and lore from most of the games I play. Like Wandersong or Subnautica.

Also, please do not call me sweetie. It invokes images in my mind of myself as a lost child in a store and you an adult who is asking questions to distract me and keep me calm.

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I poke one side of the cats back half (you might say her butt, but it's more like her legs) until she turns to growl at my hand. Then I stop poking that side and move to the other. Sometimes it goes for a while until she finally realizes she can turn and follow my hand when I move it.

the downside to harassing a cat constantly is that you run out of ways to bother them. so sure she's "well socialized" but how am i supposed to get revenge when she is being SO so annoying?

#her name is simba and I am literally the only person she likes #she screams at my bedroom door at night

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rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3