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abolickxers · 3 months
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So tiny letters are typed;
Words strewn out across our tongues
like clothing in the spring and a heavy laden cord stretched fence to gutter, long hanging in thenblance how quick you are to smudge the lines on your eyeliner like I the rules laid for mankind in a room by myself o e day I'll look in the mirror and say "I want to be like her" and it will be true because I'll know who is on the other side of the mirror reflecting from surface to surface settling finally on the brim of the whiskey decanter. Who knows how many rainbows a thought like your eyes or his abs and the curve of my breast has graced before settling on these pages. Thoughts expunged. Entertainment. I'm anxious, as though I were a cat in heat. Qaa?
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abolickxers · 6 months
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Check out "Obsidian"
If I could gather all the pieces of my heart, shattered like the broken glass at my feet.
I would. Id go back to that day, id run toward the warmth of you and I would never have regretted any moments. Id have been there no matter what. I would have never confused you with someone else and I would have told you who you are to the world, to me.
to the origin of stars, when one direction is always the root of limbs long turned flooring roof and tinder.
a light beacon a message in a dark place only in your eyes and a smile upon your face can replace the tired old distance I feel in the places we used to now. All the math and money, no amount could you use to improve all the secrets vast and known and not a little bit used to make a life for us to be authentic in a corrupt way of being. Maybe it's my heart bitter words on my tongue are worn like old cuffs with the key kept somewhere I often mourned but I could never return there as me lest I witness is all gratefully happy for the reprieve of my voice back into it's hollow, thoughts buried deep in the mindfulness on breath that I swallow and upon this chair I slouch and slump and rock back and forth the rhythm of my tongue and my teeth tarnished a d slightly yellow, nicotine stains and crooked ridges after a spell of ten years, not any bit id call mellow. And I assume my organs are quite thirsty and my muscles have been over working every fiber and protein in all that mass of I was once and the tenacity of the weight of love like a drummers bass; bellowing when I am in fear and the tiny teardrops i refuse to allow to trickle down my lids that almost 3 years noe it was a storm so mighty and shallow was the entry of 2 gods and all the world was sent me a witness i alone guarded their fight alone with my dog, so cold and rain and fog i thought i would die. The rain many feet in filled the the trash can 2 times as fast as I had blinked and it did it again. And I could hear them like a dinosaur and a truck fighting for a gift that was never intended for someone to cause me to think there is such thing as luck. Like what are the chances two flames from different hearts could come together and in a instant contain all that was ours in every facet every light every child and all the love of all you could believe torn from the arms abd heart of a family and then there was just me.
And buscuit
Afraid and cold and under the blankets. Below zero and it's something to say of love that he'd kept it. The only part of my life that I didn't need the part that would give me someone's personality. So I came on arriving as a host, like a ghost I spoke few words and was ruder than most. I want to be kind but it's difficult to swallow all the pain of watching you walk back toward a day I ran for a million races and all moments that defined home were measured with a whisper. How could I easily resist worth? Could I actually value myself if I never ask for help and so I never do any other task. I sit about wishing you'd ask. Knowing full well what demented love that a mother could bring, the love of asking the world to be selfless and consider what we don't see. What a question a rooted rotten gorge of a fount that bubbles forth from fingers to eyes and awe inspired slack jaw look as the world around me shook like a dragon had caught a crook. The little trailer rocking left and right almost like a tin can and a rock processor came into a fan and blew out chunks of tuna back into the sea and whales were once again playing and dolphins were free except the storm was greater than even that tsunami that destroyed a coastal relic a place long ago forgotten by people daily moving away from the effects of silence and outspoken. Neither language of noise or silence could be best or worst for it was obviously the actions that we curse. If it were just a thought well than we know better than to try and something other than 190% miracles with a possibility of humanity. And so the question was asked but so many forgot the chosen must live with rules that contain all your purpose and interwoven is the answer the path and the method because truly blessed is a perspective I can't achieve alone if I'm also casting stone after stone in a place I can't be good toy word if it's 2 forward and 2 times past and I was not there to speak to the man or woman that would be tasked to answer That. So too honest too alur perplexed derision or imploded affinity with motivating others to be more to themselves and know that what I have in you is hope because maybe one day I won't upon the words of love begin to chole and hold tight the breath that is his as per request we don't really live as other so and or about the same time I discovered in you something truly divine. That's a spark none ever needed. That bad as I was you had remarked that life is lived and love is a badge and as you honor all that's left behind when there is reason all people become one person one animal or one friend it's because all people have at some point a need to mend. So catalyst A please be advised your lower case self is in need of all that you confide but without either we have no word whom all the borrowed apologies will never arrive for the one who assumes that thank you is worse if you doubt but receiving love is a deceit is not anlesson i would carry about. I want a child happily and hopeful also a cloud that shines and shutters with every breath sending mist shade and rainbows on a prism of life that God designed best with me and the rest heavy lidded holding on to the cathartic equilibrium and unwavering rhythm of my portaly sighty heart and my motion all tied into a present day devotion
Needs and wants all same id you are we because I seem to be divided by asking every one else for what I can't say it's freedom of decisions is the fact that you found my thoughts and tell people I'm mad as though I were not the one who cares for you on all land ocean and air even the sight of our eyes we have shared and I am scared for the notion, that love could bring an evil or unsteady creation to the brim of a cup overflowing with nothing but trust that if I win it would be universal because love is without the boundaries that make feelings less who I am but it must have some such beast caged andbthe hungernis who iam so manifest if youudlst nut never again will I be more tjan a memory god plave your mind in safe harbours and swim to thebshores of free floating gazes soft to the touxh is the fingers lightly tapping out hebfinal beata of a heart no longer becoming of the effort. I can't seem to defeat if it is apologies I simper at the graves of those who before me would never whisper. Live your life humble out loud and proud but roar not for the reason others suffer or boast of what's best if freely no delight comes to you when a someone enjoys what you have here making the piano emp when music is the purpose of so many ears. Don't fret it is not you I don't see who I am 5 by 2 in all direction as 35 is 88 and such is the cost of being half whole and wait for the gate to be embossed for thy self is all in the wit of wisdom forgetting oneself in and on a shelf that was pitched into the flames while submerged in the surface of a perfect narrow space barely survivable at first. Expanding slowly the little earth that I am once holding the child in so many forms of womb, trickery must have been performed as incalculatable was my life that every moment was kept logged away fromy eye a s a secret I dhad secretland long stirring a choice to give all m live as is it is who m chose to do what was need at the same time what aysterry to me I know only God is divine andi a moment longer no more, the swine has slipped from my center and become beast once more emerging fresh and blessed abd begging of nothing all that she had begged as two so we may move on to tomorrow's yesterday's and nows as presented by the spoke and fully woke nonnets place abd home is the holder all names doors ans windows to vast oceans of blameless factless erosion of any claim that woukd leave that would leave any without and that which I chose when I could live without, it was thepain and stress of blessing and guessi g and productive is we and I work tirelessly and wait for a gift. A surprise that doesn't undermine all the love that I give. Mirror askew am in not welcome any one bitter enough by the anger you choose should see I speak as 2. So joy is what I give you with healthy strategies that don't harm me any more than it ever did when we are free to devour all the laughter and turn it into a wholesome platter of likely disasters made funny with a perspective lightly tart. Give up the words that mean so much that they broke your heart. A smile is better and worse even is a frown because then you know I can't see you if your upside down. I love you with eternal and limitless emotion but my small frame cannot take much more of the commotion and such is life that I will never get to live because of what people thought i was. Willing to give. Sorrow isn't easy and revenge hurts more becase the love I need is where and whom you destroy. So blah blah blah disposition I'm bored ans sick of being an imposition. Hit time to smoke again stupid your brains work too well I live a dillussion and it's all collusion and I'm a xclot in m own way and you think I'm owned by someone other than me so no u mustn't pay for a place in your own body I am forever the same l claim all so you can upkeep you but if I fall what then can we do but see helle Keller and Stevie Baskin doubt as they shout nut no words come out
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