abijoy

[abijoy]

[abijoy]

When I was younger and more abled, I was so fucking on board with the fantasy genre’s subversion of traditional femininity. We weren’t just fainting maidens locked up in towers; we could do anything men could do, be as strong or as physical or as violent. I got into western martial arts and learned to fight with a rapier, fell in love with the longsword.

But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.

As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.

The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork.  In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.

That can be so revolutionary to those of us stuck in our towers who fall prey to thinking: Nobody would want to visit; nobody would want to listen; nobody would want to stay.

[abijoy]

e(vil) coli

[abijoy]

how i treat my dad when he's doing a basic task for me that i don't want to do

[abijoy]

those funny tumblr comics weren't lying, senshi dungeonmeshi DOES materialize in your brain to encourage you to practice basic self care

me (tired, walking back to car from airport): i'm kinda hungry but ehhh, i'll just wait til i get home. no need spending money when i have food at home i can cook. besides, i ate well this past week, i can afford to skip just one meal.

the senshi that lives in the shared singular brain cell of every dungeon meshi fan: it's been nearly 6 hours since you last ate, and it'll take at least another hour and a half for you to get home. if you wait that long to eat, you'll get sick with hunger!

me: hmmm, yeah. i think i've got a baggie with like a handful of crisps at the bottom of my backpack. and a few pieces of candy in my purse. i could probably eat those to tide me over?

self care senshi: that's no good, you need way more than that. you can afford to pay for a restaurant; you CAN'T afford to risk putting yourself and everyone else out there in danger by driving while distracted by hunger.

me: you're right... i'll find a diner nearby to stop at.

(also the diner food was good + when i sat down to eat i realized i was starting to get a hunger headache that could have progressed into a migraine if i left it unmanaged. thank you imaginary senshi.)

[abijoy]

Do you ever think about the ways in which we are taught about love and duty

[abijoy]

dude be awkward. dont be like everyone else. say a weird thing. laugh too loud!! smile with yellow teeth!! cut your hair! be honest and loud and open and pour your heart out to others!!!!!!!! hold hands with your friends and tell them you love them. stare a little too long and feel a little too deeply!! be embarrassed. cry. be human!!! stop pushing your feelings and personality away just so you can ‘fit in.’ oh my god dont fit in!!! sing badly and dance wildly!! run in the sand. feel the love course through your fingers. enjoy it!!! be you, cause you is all you’ll ever need to be.

#hot girl summer

[abijoy]

Daily reminder that we do not actually live in a dystopian movie put the apocalypse down and back away slowly. You know when your cleaning a room and you pull everything out of it's draws to sort through it and you're like "what the fuck have I done I'm never going to be able to tidy all of this" I think that's the stage we're at in the world. Thanks to social media we've pulled out all the messed up shit from the cupboards of the world, it was always there but now we can see it and we're going to have to sort it all out we made this mess and we can fix it. Falling to the floor sobbing will not clean a crusty room. A group of people working systematically (preferably with music in the background) will.

[abijoy]

[abijoy]

universities linking to mental health resources in their press releases about student encampments r so disgusting like they constantly pivot to “mental health” as the framework for presenting ideological conflict, people are “understandably upset” about “difficult topics” and then they link to suicide hotlines and social worker appointment schedules like the thing people opposing genocide and apartheid really need is a therapist. & I know this is nothing new like institutions use psychiatry as a tool of controlling and managing oppressed people everywhere but it’s just another reminder in a sea of a thousand reminders that HR offices are one of the frontline ghouls of this fucking death spiral of imperialism. all to protect the right to massacre children

[abijoy]

[abijoy]

Dungeon meshi is about taking care of yourself physically so you can be fucking insane at full capacity

[abijoy]

It is scientifically proven that Dungeon Meshi will cause one of the characters to manifest in your head and tell you how to improve your life. You either get:

Senshi: eat well, rest, nourish yourself

Chilchuck: labor rights, advocate for yourself, scrutinize everything

Marcille: take care of yourself, study necromancy, be a lesbian

Laios: respect everything, learn about the world around you, be autistic.

[abijoy]

[abijoy]

[abijoy]

marcille, confronted with boiled mushroom: ewwwww it was just up and walking arooouuuund

marcille, confronted with her best friend's skeleton: [etching an evil necromantic circle into the ground] the concepts of "right" and "wrong" were crafted by empires of men to shackle and puppet us

[abijoy]

Kabru thinks he's playing 5D chess but Laios and Falin are cooking and eating the pieces