abdicators-blog
Good Things Will Come My Way
Emotionally Distant
Relentlessly Stubborn
Perpetually Sad
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i’m at this weird place in my life where i choose not to be financially independent in order to pay off six thousand dollars in six months- a loan from my mother to buy a new car since i got into a major car accident last year. i’m also at this place in my life where i have to choose between med school or the arts, because i certainly can’t do both. i’m at this place in my life where i feel like i have nothing and everything- there are so many options to choose from that i feel like every breath i take i’m getting closer and closer to drowning. i can feel in my chest that my doctor needs to up my medication, probably at least two to three more times, which will put me at what is medically considered a “high dose” and i think that puts me in the “you’re really fucked up and seriously depressed” category, but i’ve known this all along. in january i got a dog who is snuggly and warm, and it feels like she’s my only friend. that’s ok for now though, i think. yesterday i bought a new pillow that is so comfortable i might buy another. it’s pink and squishy and i’m afraid my dog will chew it up, because she does that sometimes. finals are two weeks from now and i can’t wait to be done with the semester. i am so tired all the time, going back and forth between Mary Had A Little Lamb and psychology homework is a weird kind of exhaustion. death doesn’t feel so close lately...that’s a nice feeling, for once. i can feel the sadness weighing on my shoulders though, no massage will get it to leave. it’s been eleven months and i’m still not even close to where i need to be- to home.
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Pouring a Thermos of Hot Tea at -40°C Near the Arctic Circle / Photo by Michael Davies
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I don’t know why people think it’s okay to glorify and commercialize “Lolita” in music, media, art, etc. as if it isn’t about a pedophile who emotionally and physically abuses an underage girl, like sorry but YES that is problematic. And people always make the man seem innocent like he literally raped her and the story is about HIS perversion, not her seduction! that’s the whole point, and the way people twist shit to make Lolita the focus of it all as if she was some young evil mastermind. It’s sexist and fucked up and just reinforces the idea of how rape is a woman’s fault because women shouldn’t be ~provocative~ like get the fuck out of here honestly
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Artist Uses Leaves as Autumnal Canvases for Delicate Colored Pencil Drawings
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