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𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, chapter 5
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𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ! 4.6k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ! typical gossip girl things, mention of drinking, FIGHTING!!!! (so much of it), making up ;)
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You sat next to Charlene at the dining table, listening to Josie talk about the nursery for the new baby. You nodded along mindlessly, playing with your cereal as your mind raced.
Thoughts of Serena, Blair, Nate, and the tangled web of relationships swirled in your mind, each thread pulling you in a different direction. You felt torn between loyalty to your friends, the desire to maintain peace, and the need to address the underlying issues that had driven a wedge between you all. Lost in your thoughts, you absently stirred your cereal, the clinking of the spoon against the bowl serving as a distant echo in the sea of your racing thoughts.
"Y/N, did you hear me?" Your father spoke as you startled, snapping back to the present moment. You looked up, meeting your father's expectant gaze as he repeated his question.
"Sorry, Dad, what were you saying?" you asked, attempting to mask your distraction with a faint smile.
"I was asking you when the Ivy mixer is. I wanted to come by and help everyone out, I know Lily is in charge of it but I can't get a hold of her." Your father explained as he bit into his toast.
You nodded, recalling the details of the upcoming Ivy mixer. "Oh, right. I think we're finding out today at the assembly. I can double-check with Lily to make sure everything's on track, and I'll let you know if she needs any help."
"Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate it. It's always chaotic trying to organize these events." Your dad chuckled as he chewed, moving his gaze back to Charlene. "And uh... for the mixer, Josie was hoping that you'd stick with Charlene and help her get some networking done with the reps. She wants to go to Harvard, like you."
You glanced at Charlene with a faint smile but she ignored you, nodding along to what your father was saying. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and nodded. "Yeah, sure."
"My two daughters at Harvard would be a dream." Your father grinned proudly and again, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
She's not your daughter, you wanted to shout but you bit your tongue and took a bite of your now, soggy cereal.
──౨ৎ──
"And then he was all like, having my two daughters at Harvard would be a dream." You mocked your father as you walked out of the assembly, Blair walking next to you as she scoffed, Kati and Isabel walking close behind you two. "And I wanted to say that she isn't his actual daughter but I didn't."
"You should've. I would pay to see his reaction." Blair smirked as you laughed, nodding along before Blair's expression dropped. She rolled her eyes and you turned to see where she was facing, finding Serena walking toward you. She was late, she wasn't at the assembly.
"Oh, too bad you missed the assembly." Blair feigned sympathy as she looked up at the blonde. "Brown doesn't offer degrees in slut," she continued with an amused expression as Serena offered her a sarcastic smile.
Blair walked away with a proud grin, leaving you and Serena alone. You and Serena both exchanged glances before bursting out laughing. It was supposed to be an insult but you both couldn't help but laugh.
As the laughter subsided, Serena shook her head, a smile still playing on her lips. "Leave it to Blair to come up with the most creative insults."
"Yeah, she definitely has a way with words," you replied, still chuckling as you glanced back at Blair, who was now chatting with Kati and Isabel.
Serena's smile faded slightly as she looked back at you, her expression turning more serious. "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something about yesterday."
You waved it off, giving her a smile. "I'm sorry I blew up on everyone, I was just stressed out. And don't worry about it, okay? I'm sure Dan will come around."
Serena gave you a sad smile before shrugging. "I... I don't think so but maybe it's for the best. Dan doesn't wanna get involved in all this Upper-East Side bullshit and I don't blame him."
You gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, S."
Serena nodded, her gaze dropping slightly as she played with the edge of her sleeve. "Thanks, Y/N. It's just been a lot to deal with lately."
You reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder in a comforting gesture. "I understand. But hey, you've always been resilient. You'll get through this too."
Serena offered you a small, appreciative smile before straightening up, determination shining in her eyes. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Y/N."
But before you could reply, you heard Blair's voice ringing in your ear. "Y/N, hurry up we need to get to class." You couldn't help but roll your eyes as you quickly said bye to Serena, catching up with Blair and beginning to walk to class together.
The group was split up into two as you played field hockey. It was all fine up until Blair decided to keep targeting Serena and fouling her. Blair's aggressive targeting of Serena didn't go unnoticed, and it soon became clear that her fouls were deliberate attempts to hurt her.
"Blair, ease up!" you called out, frustration evident in your voice as you gestured for her to back off.
Blair shot you a defiant glare but made no move to change her tactics. Serena, on the other hand, remained composed despite the mounting pressure, refusing to let Blair's antics get to her.
"Enough, Blair!" Serena's voice cut through the tension, her tone firm as she finally stood up to Blair's relentless targeting.
"It's enough when I say it's enough." Blair snapped as she walked away, making sure to hit Serena's shoulder as she did. You and Serena exchanged looks before you sighed, continuing to focus on the game.
And finally, Serena had enough. She ran up to Blair, tackling her to the ground. Serena got on top of her and began pulling her arms as you ran up behind them, irritation on your face as you tried to break them up.
"Get off of me!" Blair shouted as Serena kept pulling on her arms. You tried to get her off of Blair to no use.
"Serena, stop!" you shouted, your voice strained as you attempted to pry her off Blair. But Serena was relentless, her anger driving her actions as she continued to grapple with Blair.
"Is that enough yet?!" Serena shouted back before she accidentally pulled you down with them, earning a grunt from you. She scoffed and got up, but not before Blair could get up. "So it's actually come to physical blows, huh?"
"Guys, what the hell?!" you exclaimed, your voice tinged with anger as you pushed yourself up from the ground, feeling the ache from the fall. "This isn't helping anyone!"
But Serena seemed oblivious to your words, her attention solely focused on Blair as she stood there, seething with rage. "You think you can just keep targeting me like this and get away with it? Well, not anymore!"
"Serena, Blair, this needs to stop," you said firmly, your voice cutting through the tension. "Jesus Christ, I mean we're friends, or at least we used to be."
Serena turned to face you, her expression still flushed with anger. "She started it, Y/N. She's been targeting me ever since-"
"I don't care who started it!" you interjected, your voice tinged with exasperation.
Serena looked back at Blair with a little bit of hesitation, sighing before speaking up. "Fine. Truce?"
Blair glared back at you and Serena before her expression turned to pained, a slight smirk on her face as she does so. "Ow! My leg!"
You couldn't believe it. Blair was faking an injury to deflect from the tension of the moment. It was a classic Blair move, but it only served to frustrate you further. You exchanged a bewildered glance with Serena, both of you realizing that Blair was resorting to her usual tactics to cause more issues.
"Blair, come on," you said, your voice tinged with irritation.
Blair winced dramatically, clutching her leg as she looked up at you with wide, innocent eyes. "I'm not faking it, Y/N! It really hurts!" Kati and Isbell ran to her side, helping her stand up as you glared back at her.
"Serena, you're outta here." The coach shouted as Serena walked off, throwing her hockey stick to the ground.
"I hope it's broken." Serena spat as she walked off the field.
You rolled your eyes as you watched Kati and Isbell help walk Blair to the nurse's office. You hated being in between them but they were your best friends, it's just what you have to do. It's part of the job but you were beginning to wonder if all of this was really worth it.
──౨ৎ──
You walked into the Ivy Mixer behind your father and Charlene, who was wearing a Harvard sweater; the same one that your father had also gotten you when you were younger. Your father seemed proud, chatting animatedly with Charlene about the opportunities awaiting her at Harvard.
You glanced around the room, taking in the prestigious Ivy League representatives mingling with students. Despite the elegance of the occasion, you couldn't shake off the tension that had been building within you since the recent conflicts with Blair and Serena.
Your father guided you and Charlene through the crowd, introducing her to some of the representatives and encouraging her to network and make connections. You watched as Charlene navigated the room with ease, her confidence shining through as she conversed with the representatives.
Meanwhile, you couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. While you had once dreamed of attending Harvard, recent events had left you questioning everything. Did you even want to go to Harvard now apparently, Charlene had to attend too?
"And my daughter, Y/N is the Student Council president of the school. She is also second in her class." Her father spoke as you nodded along, shaking the hand of one of the Harvard reps.
You had worked hard to earn your position as Student Council president and to maintain a high academic standing, but now it all felt hollow. The pressure to live up to your father's expectations, to uphold the family reputation, felt suffocating. And now, with Charlene also vying for a spot at Harvard, it only added to the weight on your shoulders.
"I see you're running low on champagne, would you like me to find you another glass, sir?" You asked politely, offering to assist the Harvard representative in replenishing his drink.
The representative nodded appreciatively, offering you a grateful smile. "Yes, thank you. That would be lovely."
You excused yourself from the conversation with a polite nod and made your way to the refreshments table, your mind still consumed with conflicting thoughts.
You looked up to meet the eyes of Dan, a polite smile on your lips. You didn't know him well but you still felt gulity about the whole Serena and brunch thing, oh and the whole thing with Chuck and Jenny. The poor guy can't catch a break.
"Hey, Dan," you greeted him, setting down the champagne bottle. "I thought you were the Dartmouth usher?"
Dan returned your smile, though there was a hint of hesitation in his expression. "No, Nate is. I thought... actually never mind."
"I know. You deserved to get that position." You whispered as he nodded sheepishly.
Dan's expression softened at your words, a grateful smile tugging at his lips. "Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate that."
You saw his gaze wander to behind you, you turned around to meet Serena's blue eyes. She walked toward the table, irritation on her face.
"Let me guess, Blair?" You asked and pretended to be shocked when she nodded, Dan letting out a soft chuckle. "Would've never guessed. What did she do?"
"Well, you know how I wanted to go to Brown. And she wanted to go Yale? Well now, somehow, we switched. She's talking to the stupid Brown reps and I'm stuck with the Yale reps." Serena explained as you and Dan exchanged looks.
"Oh, yeah. I get it. I mean since you don't actually have to worry about getting into college, why not make the whole evening about screwing over Blair?" Dan spoke sarcastically as he tried to hand her a drink.
You looked in between them, concern etching your features. Dan seems pretty bitter about the whole thing but you couldn't even blame. And as if things couldn't get even more awkward, Nate walked up to the table, looking at the refreshments.
"Hey." Serena turned to greet Nate, only to be completely ignored. You couldn't help but stifle a laugh as you took a sip of your drink, watching the whole thing.
"Wait, you're seriously not gonna talk to me? Like literally not speak?" Serena's voice held a mixture of disbelief and frustration as she looked at Nate, who remained silent, his gaze fixed on the refreshments.
Nate finally looked up, his expression unreadable as he met Serena's gaze. "Hey."
"Oh, much better. Thanks guys." She sighed, looking in between the boys before looking back at you. You gave her a sympathetic smile before she gives you a thumbs up, walking away.
"That was cold, Nate." You spoke, slightly amusement in your voice as you finally began refilling the champagne.
He glared back at you and you put your hands up in mock surrender as you exchanged a glance with Dan, who looked like he was enjoying the scene. Silence settled in between them before Dan spoke up.
"So, um... what's he like?" Dan asked, referring to the Dartmouth rep.
"Like a Dartmouth English lit professor I have nothing in common with. Guess I could tell him how I got everything because I'm an Archibald." Nate rambled slightly as Dan's expression turned from amused to sympathetic. You took that as your cue to leave, nodding your head to Dan as you walked away.
You put all the drama in the back-burner for the night, deciding to just engage with the Harvard rep. You were slightly glad to see that Charlene began talking more to the Princeton rep, allowing you to focus on your conversation without distractions.
You couldn't help but keep looking through the glass door, watching Nate as he talked with Dan. You noticed when he walked away and when his father tried to pull him back, but he pushed him away. It looked tense but you couldn't afford to get distracted, you just focused on talking with the Harvard rep.
You thought the rest of the evening would go smoothly up until you and Blair got up to announce this year's local institution they were going to sponsor.
"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Blair spoke as she walked up toward the podium, a polite smile plastered on her lips as you followed close behind. "Welcome again to the Constance Billard St Judas Ivy Week Mixer. I'm Blair Waldorf, chair of the the community outreach committee."
You plastered on a polite smile as well. "And I'm Y/N Winfrey, Student Council President."
The crowd began to clap before you continued. "Every year, our schools choose to support one local institution that we feel benefits our community."
"This year, our schools have chosen to honor the Osteroff Center." Blair continued as the crowd applauds. "This semester our choice is a very personal one because the center has helped one of our own."
Your expression suddenly turns to a confused one as you turned to face Blair. This was what she was not what we planned to say. Your eyes scanned the crowd and they fell on Serena and her family and it suddenly dawned on you.
"It's because of their excellent program which aids so many young addicts and alcoholics that a student here with us today is clean and sober." Blair spoke, feigning concern. "At least for now. Can I please have Serena van der Woodsen join us on stage?"
Your jaw dropped but you tried to keep your composure. You couldn't believe Blair. Serena slowly walked up to the stage and glared at Blair, not even acknowledging you.
"Don't try to deny it, Chuck saw you." Blair whispered as you tried to keep a smile on your face, trying to hide the inner panic you feel at the moment. Blair pulls you aside, making sure that Serena is the main focus as the crowd begins to clap.
"Hi, I'm Serena van der Woodsen. I just want to thank my friend Blair Waldorf for recognizing the Osteroff center and all the good things they do. Thanks Blair. Oh, and of course our president, Y/N." Serena puts on a fake smile as she begins to clap, the crowd clapping along.
"At the center, one of the main things that we learn is forgiveness. About how in order to move forward with our future we must forgive those who have wronged us in the past. And we must ourselves ask for forgiveness from those whom we've wronged. Without this forgiveness, innocent people-"
"Alright, thank you Serena. Thank you." She cut her off with a smile as the crowd claps again, Serena walking off the stage. You gave her a sympathetic smile as she walks away, making sure to push Blair slightly so that the crowd could focus on you again.
With a forced smile plastered on your face, you stepped forward to address the crowd once again, trying to regain control of the situation. "Thank you, Serena, for sharing your story with us. And thank you, Blair, for your efforts in organizing this event."
You took a deep breath, pushing down the rising frustration within you. "As Serena mentioned, forgiveness is indeed a very important aspect of moving forward. And tonight, let's remember the importance of supporting each other, even in times of adversity."
The crowd responded with polite applause, but you could sense the tension lingering in the air. But before you could even address Blair, she walked off the stage.
You ran after her, pulling on her arm. "Blair, that was a low blow, even for you."
As you pulled on Blair's arm, she turned to face you, her expression unapologetic. "Oh, please. It's not like I said anything that wasn't true."
But you held on, your frustration bubbling to the surface. "No, Blair, I won't let you brush this off. What you did to Serena was cruel and unnecessary. You publicly humiliated her in front of everyone. And not just anyone, college reps! That is insane."
Before Blair could respond, Serena came up to her with a tired expression. "What the hell was that? So we good now? We square?"
"No because nothing I do will ever be as bad as what you did to me." Blair spat as she glared up at Serena.
"Look, I'm asking you, please. I'll stop if you will." Serena's voice was hurt as she looked down at the brunette.
"You're just saying that because today, you lost. And you're gonna keep losing." Blair's voice was sharp with bitterness as she glared up at Serena.
Before Serena could respond, you let out a groan as you looked in between your best friends. "I'm done with both of you. Are you serious right now? You are acting like a child, Blair. You have no idea what you did up there, it wasn't even Serena-"
"Y/N, stop. No." Serena stopped you before you could continue.
"Why do I even bother, I'm done. I am done with the petty drama and catfights," you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice as you turned away from Blair and Serena.
Serena reached out, grabbing your arm gently to stop you from walking away. "Y/N, wait."
You pulled your arm out of her grip and walked away and out of the mixer, you were calling it a night.
"Even Y/N's done with your bullshit, Serena." You heard Blair scoff as you walked off. You didn't even know where you running off to until you were there.
You were in the back of building and you saw Nate sitting on the bench, a blunt placed perfectly on his lips as he took a drag. You knew exactly where to find him. He looked up and noticed you, taking him by surprise.
You didn't say anything, all you did was sit next to Nate on the bench as you put your face in yours hands. You looked up at Nate and he gave you a faint smile before handing you the blunt.
You took a deep drag and you felt your lungs burn up. It had been a while since you'd swore off smoking but you needed, especially after the day you had. And apparently, so does Nate.
As you sat there next to Nate, passing the blunt between you, a heavy silence settled over the both of you. It was a strange comfort, finding solace in each other's company amidst the chaos of your lives.
Eventually, Nate broke the silence, his voice soft. "You okay?"
You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head as the smoke swirled around the two of you. "Not really."
Nate nodded in understanding, his gaze fixed on you. "Yeah, me neither."
"What's got you all stressed out?" You spoke, leaning back on the bench as you looked back at him.
"My dad." He replied and you weren't surprised. "He wants me to go to Dartmouth and I keep telling him I wanna keep my options open. But he just ignores it. And now he's making me stay with Blair because of-" He paused as his eyes widen, realizing he's revealed too much.
You shake your head, urging him to continue. "I won't tell."
"He said I can't break up with Blair yet because he needs the Waldorfs on his good side because of business." Nate's voice trailed off, his frustration evident in his expression. "It's just... everything feels so out of my control, you know? Like I'm being pulled in all these different directions, and I don't know which way to go."
You listened quietly, understanding all too well the weight of family expectations and the pressure to please others. "That's... messed up," you muttered, unable to hide the concern in your voice. "Your dad shouldn't be pulling strings like that, especially when it comes to your personal life."
Nate let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Yeah, tell me about it. But what can I do? He's not gonna listen to me."
You nodded in understanding, knowing all too well the weight of familial expectations. "It's tough, but you'll figure it out. I know you will."
He returned your smile, a glimmer of gratitude in his eyes. "So what's going on with you? I thought you gave up smoking."
"I could say the same for you, Archibald." You teased as he let out a little chuckle, his falling back but his gaze still fixed on you. "It's a long... long story. I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"Let me take a guess," Nate sat up and turned to face you fully. "You feel like you're constantly being pushed and pulled between Serena and Blair. And the whole daddy issues thing hasn't fixed itself either."
Your eyebrows furrowed at Nate's very true statements. Could he really read you that well or was it really that obvious? You were speechless for a second as Nate let out another laugh.
"I've known you since we were kids, Y/N. I can read you better than anyone else. And plus, it isn't anything new. Serena and Blair have always fought and you've always been in the middle." Nate's words hit home, and you couldn't deny the truth in them. He had always been perceptive, able to see through the facade you sometimes put up for others.
"Yeah, you're right," you admitted with a sigh, running a hand through your hair. "It's just exhausting, you know? Trying to keep the peace between them while dealing with my own issues. Trying to keep everyone happy while feeling like I'm constantly being torn apart. And now with my dad pressuring me about college while also replacing me with Charlene."
Nate listened attentively, his expression sympathetic. "I get it, Y/N. It's a lot to handle. But just know that you're not alone in this. I'm here for you, always."
You looked back at him, a sudden surge of gratefulness hitting you. And suddenly, gulit hit you like a ton of bricks. The whole thing with Serena and Nate, you completely shut him out. You let out an exhale, not really knowing what to even say.
"I'm sorry, Nate."
"Why are you sorry?" He muttered as he looked back at you, concern evident in his features. "I should be the one apologizing. I've been an asshole."
"And I've been a bitch." You replied as you both smiled. You both laughed softly as Nate shook his head.
"It doesn't have to be complicated, you know?" Nate started, his voice soft as he looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. "We've been through a lot together, and I don't want things to be so hard between us."
You sighed, not really knowing what to say.
"Look I meant what I said at the Kiss on the Lips party, I'll forget about my feelings if it means we get to stay friends." Nate whispered as he looked back you, his voice gentle.
"But what if-"
"There's a million what if's, Y/N. And they don't matter." Nate spoke, coming off harsher than expected. "The whole honest truth is the last six months you've been gone have been hell. I have no one who I can be honest with and-and no one I can call at 3 in the morning because I can't sleep. No one I can genuinely depend on to listen to me."
You felt a pang of guilt at Nate's words, realizing the impact your absence had on him. "I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't realize..."
"It doesn't matter, I just want you in my life." Nate's gaze softened as he reached out to squeeze your hand reassuringly. "And we'll stay completely platonic because that's what you wanted, right?"
No. You wanted to shout no but as you thought about Blair and the million other things keep you guys apart, all you do was nod. "Right."
A smile began curving on his lips as he let out a relieved sigh. "Then it's settled."
You smiled back at your best friend. "It's settled."
You guys both gazed at one another for a few more seconds before he spoke up. "We should shake on it. You know, our handshake."
You let out a laugh as you suddenly remember your guys' secret handshake. It had been a while but how could you forget it?
With practiced ease, you and Nate stuck out your hands and intertwined your fingers, executing the series of moves that made up your secret handshake. As you finished, you both laughed again, feeling a sense of normalcy wash over you.
As you finished the handshake, Nate gave you a playful nudge. "See? Nothing's changed between us."
"Nothing at all," you agreed, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
You both sat there in silence for a while longer, the weight of the evening fading slowly. In that moment, sitting there with Nate, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. Maybe things would be okay, eventually.
Or maybe they wouldn't. But for now, you had each other, and that was enough.
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a-aexotic · 17 days
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These murderers are admitting they lied only after the damage has been done and is STILL ongoing, and I am beyond pissed.
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a-aexotic · 26 days
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Keep your ‘I am neutral and want peace on both sides’ sentiment to yourself. There’s a genocide happening. If you still can’t see it for what it is, it’s because you don’t want to.
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a-aexotic · 26 days
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How 💔
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a-aexotic · 27 days
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a-aexotic · 28 days
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Rachel Corrie and Aaron Bushnell
They sacrificed their lives for the just cause of Palestine.
The palastinians will never forget them.
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And Tom Hurndall, in 2004, January 13, Israel killed Tom while he was protecting a Palestinian girl in confrontations with the occupation forces.
In our hearts forever, guys.
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a-aexotic · 28 days
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a-aexotic · 28 days
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I hope you guys like…eventually live the life you want to live and I hope nothing haunts you for too long and I hope you’re all kind to yourselves
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a-aexotic · 28 days
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a-aexotic · 28 days
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Help Hamza get his family out of gaza.
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a-aexotic · 28 days
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February 28, 2024 - American military veterans burn their uniforms calling for a free Palestine, at a vigil for Aaron Bushnell in Portland, Oregon. [source]
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a-aexotic · 1 month
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“its been a long week” me on a Tuesday
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a-aexotic · 1 month
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a-aexotic · 1 month
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I LOVE YOU SM RUE 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🥹
𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, chapter 4
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𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ! 4.9k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 !
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 !
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"Y/N! Wake up right now!"
You stirred in your bed before you heard your mother's voice ring out again, except this time she was closer. She came into your room and she opened the blinds, making you let out a loud groan.
Yesterday was the most eventful day yet. You found your best friend's boyfriend (who you've been in love with since the 9th grade) slept with your other best friend the same night he told you he loved you. It sounds worse than it is, you swear.
You were also very hungover, considering you had... you're actually not sure how many vodka redbulls you had last night, but they were way more than you should've.
As your mother's voice echoed in your ears, you groaned and buried your head deeper into your pillow, the events of the previous night flooding back to your memory. The room spun slightly as you tried to sit up, your head throbbing with each movement.
You rubbed your eyes, the morning sunlight searing into your brain like a hot poker. "Mom, can you please close the blinds? I'm dying here."
Your mother ignored your plea, her expression stern as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We have brunch in two hours. Remember, the Bass' annual brunch?"
You groaned again, rolling over and burying your face in your pillow. "Mom, I can't do this today," you muttered, your voice muffled by the fabric of your pillow.
But your mother was having none of it. She pulled the covers off you, leaving you exposed to the chilly morning air. "I don't care what you can or can't do, Y/N. You need to get up and face the day. Now."
"Mom!"
"Your father wants you there, okay? Get up and take a shower, for the love of god." Your mother's voice cut through your haze, firm and unwavering.
You looked up at your mom, confusion on your expression as you sat up. "Wait, what do you mean?"
"I'm not going, I have a meeting." Your mother replied, her tone softened slightly. "But you need to go. And you need to make an effort, especially after last night."
You blinked, the events of the previous night flooding back to you in a rush. The party, Nate, Serena... It all felt like a bad dream. But the reality of it hit you like a ton of bricks as you groaned inwardly. "Can I come with you, please? I can be a great secretary."
Your mother gave you a pointed look as you rolled your eyes. You let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your tousled hair. "Fine," you muttered, pushing yourself out of bed with a resigned sigh. "But I'm not wearing heels."
"You are going to wear what I picked, sweetheart." She wiggled her eyebrows playfully as you swung your legs out of the bed.
You grumbled under your breath, knowing it was futile to argue with your mother when she had her mind set. As you heard her footsteps fade down the hallway, you flopped back onto your bed with a defeated groan. Today was shaping up to be even more of a nightmare than yesterday.
"Out of the bed, Y/N!"
With a resigned shrug, you trudged towards the bathroom to start getting ready for the day ahead.
──౨ৎ──
You walked into the Palace, heels clicking as you walked next to your family. You were wearing a deep frown as your father walked hand-in-hand with Josie, Charlene walking next to you.
The elegant decor and the clinking of glasses only served to remind you of the facade of perfection that often overshadowed the reality of life in the Upper East Side. But you plastered on a polite smile, burying your turmoil beneath a facade of composure. After all, in the world of Manhattan's elite, appearances were everything. And you were determined not to let the cracks show.
"Charlene is going to follow in my footsteps, she will be attending Harvard." Your father looked at Charlene, a proud grin plastered on his face as you felt slight resentment building in your stomach.
Harvard, prestigious and exciting, had always been a dream for you. Yet here you were, overshadowed by Charlene, forced to the sidelines of your father's attention.
It irked you that Charlene, who wasn't even his biological daughter, was being showered with praise while you felt overlooked and underappreciated. The unfairness of it all left a bitter taste in your mouth, threatening to sour the already strained atmosphere.
You fought to keep your own smile in place, masking the bitterness that threatened to consume you. It wasn't Charlene's fault, after all. She was just a pawn in your father's game of appearances, a tool to bolster his image of prestige.
You felt a tap on your shoulder, turning to meet Blair's eyes. You couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh as she greeted your parents. "You won't mind if I steal Y/N for a moment?"
"Of course not, dear. She's all yours." Josie spoke with a grin as Blair grabbed your arm, pulling you away from your 'family.'
"Thank you, B." You let out a big exhale, earning a soft chuckle from Blair.
"I heard what your father was saying about your step sister. That was cold, I mean... really cold." Blair gave you a sympathetic nod as you let out a bitter scoff. Harvard has been your dream since you were a kid, basically.
And now he just passes the dream off to Charlene like it meant absolutely nothing. "It's not fair."
Blair's expression softened with understanding as she listened to your frustration. "I can't imagine how mad that must feel, Y/N. Harvard has been your dream for as long as I've known you."
"It doesn't matter anymore." You muttered as you reached the drinks, pouring yourself a glass of scotch.
Blair gave you an amused look. "It's barely noon, Y/N. Scotch?"
You shrugged nonchalantly, taking a sip of the scotch and relishing in the burn as it slid down your throat. "Why not? It's been that kind of morning."
Blair chuckled, shaking her head as she reached for a glass of champagne. "Well, if we're indulging, might as well make it a proper brunch, right?"
You smirked, raising your glass in agreement. "Cheers to that, sister."
One glass of scotch turned into three, and now you were seated next to Chuck Bass laughing at every word that came out of his mouth.
"So, Y/N," Chuck drawled, a glint in his eyes as he leaned closer. "Any scandalous gossip to share with your old pal?"
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk playing on your lips. "If I told you, Bass, it wouldn't be scandalous anymore, would it?"
Chuck chuckled, his laughter infectious. "Touché, my dear. But a little birdie told me you're the one with all the juicy secrets."
You feigned innocence, batting your eyelashes in mock surprise. "Oh, I'm just a humble observer of the Upper East Side drama, Chuck. But who knows? Maybe I'll let you in on a secret or two."
Blair, who was sitting across from you, rolled her eyes playfully at Chuck's smooth talk. "Don't encourage him, Y/N. You know what happens when you do."
You let out a very loud laugh, making Blair snort as you shook your head. You heard the chair next to you drag and you looked up to meet Nate's blue eyes. You rolled your eyes, not hiding your annoyance as he took a seat next to Chuck, separating you two.
"Looks like the gang's all here," Chuck remarked, a knowing smirk on his lips before he continued. "Oh, except Serena."
Chuck's mention of Serena brought a sudden stillness to the table, the jovial atmosphere tempered by her absence. You glanced around, noting the subtle shift in mood as everyone exchanged uneasy looks.
Blair rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her mimosa. "You really know how to ruin the mood, Chuck."
Chuck chuckled, unfazed by Blair's remark. "Just keeping things interesting, Blair. Wouldn't want our brunch to be too dull now, would we?"
Nate cleared his throat, breaking the tension with a forced smile. "So, what's on the agenda for today, aside from the gossip and bottomless mimosas?"
Blair shot Nate a pointed look, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Well, considering you're here, I'd say we have all the ingredients for a classic Upper East Side drama."
You couldn't help but laugh at Blair's dry humor, grateful for the brief respite from the tension. "Ah, the joys of being back in Manhattan."
"Actually we're missing one key ingredient." Chuck smirked as his gaze fell on the previously mentioned blonde with the same guy she was with the night before, on the other side of the venue. "Looks like she decided to come by."
Blair's gaze fell on Serena, a bitter laugh falling out of her lips. "You've gotta be kidding me."
You got up from the table, grabbing your glass as you tried to walk away. Instead, you tripped, causing Nate to hold on your arm to stabilize you. "How many drinks have you had?"
"Why do you care, Nate?" You spoke as you ripped your arm from his grip, excusing yourself to go get yourself another drink.
Nate watched you go with a troubled expression, his eyes following your retreating figure with concern. He knew you were hurting, and seeing you in this state only added to his guilt.
As you made your way to the bar, the room seemed to spin slightly around you, the weight of the previous night's events pressing down on your shoulders. You reached the bar and poured another drink, the cool liquid providing a temporary comfort from the problems in your life right now.
Before you could drink it, you felt someone grip your arm. You looked to meet your father's disappointed gaze. "That's your third glass, Y/N. Put it down."
You narrowed your eyes as you let out a bitter scoff. "Since when do you care? How about you check on your sweet Charlene."
"So this is what this is about? You're jealous I'm giving Charlene some attention. Come on, Y/N, you're acting like a child." Your father whispered as he looked around, making sure no one is watching too hard.
You clenched your jaw, the bitterness of your own words lingering on your tongue as you glared at your father. "I'm not jealous, Dad. I'm just angry that you just threw away me and Mom for a brand new, shiny family. How do you think I feel?"
Your father's eyes widened in surprise at your words, the weight of your accusation hitting him like a blow. He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to catch in his throat as he struggled to reply.
You glared at him, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. "That's what I thought." With that, you shrugged off his grip and stormed away, the weight of your resentment heavy on your shoulders.
As you walked away, you left the room and began walking through the Palace. You were so overwhelmed, you didn't even know what to do anymore. You couldn't run away from it anymore, you had to face it.
You were walking before you ran into Serena and Nate, talking. They both saw you and Serena immediately began walking toward you, Nate following the both of you.
"I need to talk to you." Serena spoke with urgency, her eyes pleading for your attention.
You crossed your arms over your chest, a defensive barrier between you and the two people who had caused you so much turmoil. "I don't think there's anything left to say, Serena."
"You told her too?" Serena sent a glare toward Nate, causing you to scoff.
"I didn't, it was Blair." Nate's gaze was on you as he spoke, guilt in his expression.
Your eyes stayed on Serena. "Why does it matter? I know now."
Serena's expression softened, her voice filled with remorse. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."
"Can we all just talk please? Not here, though." Nate spoke as his gaze flickered between you and Serena. "Meet me in Chuck's suite in 10, okay?"
You hesitated for a second as Serena took the key from him as he walked away. You looked up at the taller blonde, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. "Fine."
You and Serena made your way to Chuck's suite in tense silence before she broke the silence. "Look, I know hurt Blair. And I know you're trying to protect her but... I don't like Nate, you have to believe me. I was drunk and-and hurt, Y/N."
Your steps slowed as Serena's words sank in, the tension in the air thickening with each passing moment. Despite the anger and betrayal swirling inside you, you couldn't deny the honesty in Serena's voice.
"I get that you were hurt, Serena," you began, your tone softer than before. "But that doesn't change the fact that what you did... it hurt Blair. And me too."
Serena's eyes pleaded with you for understanding. "I know, Y/N. And I'm sorry. But I can't have both of my best friends angry at me, I don't know how I'd manage."
You sighed, feeling the weight of Serena's words. "I know. I get it. I'm not mad at you but that doesn't mean I'm taking your side in this whole mess, I'll do my best to get Blair to relax."
Serena's shoulders relaxed slightly at your words, a faint smile touching her lips. "Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot to me."
You returned her smile with a nod, knowing that resolving the tension between Serena and Blair wouldn't be easy, but feeling determined to try. "Let's just take it one step at a time, okay? We'll figure things out."
You got to Chuck's suite and waited inside. And as you heard the door swing open, your eyebrows furrowed as you saw Blair and Nate kissing before he slowly pulls her off. "Wait, this is Chuck's suite."
"Nate." Serena spoke as she watched the scene in front of her.
Blair's eyes flickered in between you and Serena, anger clear in her expression. "What is she doing here?"
"Meeting Nate," Serena replied honestly as you let out an exhale.
"Me and Y/N just wanted to talk her, I swear." Nate's voice was rushed as he tried to explain, as he glanced between you, Blair, and Serena, his expression caught between guilt and irritation.
"You said you'd never speak to her again." Blair's voice sounded hurt as she glared back at Nate, her voice sharp with accusation.
"You said that?" You muttered as you rolled your eyes. How the hell did you get mixed up in all this? This is what happens when you give people the benefit of the doubt.
"Why would you say that?" Serena's voice was laced with disbelief as she glared back at Blair.
Blair's gaze hardened as she turned to face you. "Why are you even here, Y/N? Are you taking her side now? She can't be trusted, I thought I told you."
"It's not Serena's fault." You and Nate spoke in union, earning a scoff from Blair.
"I asked her to come." Nate continued as his eyes flickered to yours.
"Oh! Oh, so you wanted to talk." Blair's voice boomed as she glared back at Nate, her voice laced with betrayal.
"Yes, to explain why we... aren't talking." Nate continued, his voice faltering slightly under Blair's intense gaze.
"Fine. Maybe I'll leave you guys to finish this fancistaniating conversation." Blair's jaw tensed, her frustration evident as she glanced between you, Nate, and Serena as she began walking away.
"Oh, no, no I'll go. I'll let you two get back to your quickie." Serena's voice dripped with sarcasm as she walked up to Blair, her tone biting with resentment.
Blair shot Serena a scathing look, her eyes flashing with anger. "It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually kind of a big deal to some of us!"
"Enough, both of you," you said firmly, your voice cutting through the silence. "We're not going to accomplish anything by arguing like this."
Blair's jaw clenched as she shot you a sharp look, her frustration evident. "You don't understand, Y/N. Serena is the reason for all of this mess."
Serena glared back at Blair, scoffing bitterly as she ignored your words. "Losing your v-card in Chuck's bed, real romantic. Classy too."
"Oh, like you?" Blair let out a bitter laugh as she looked in between you two before backing up slowly. "I bet your new friend Dan would love to hear all about how classy you are."
"Blair!" You shouted as Blair ran out of the suite, running after her. You lost her quickly, looking everywhere to go find her. You didn't even know why you cared so much, you didn't want to be involved in this mess anymore.
Blair found Dan quickly, going up to him with a big grin. "Dan! Hi. I'm Blair Waldorf, Serena's friend." She shook his hand, his expression confused.
"Oh, yeah. Hey, do you, uh know where she is?" Dan asked, his brows furrowing in concern as he met Blair's gaze.
"As a matter of fact, I do!" Blair's smile didn't falter as she began to speak before getting interuppted.
"Blair." You spoke as you glared at her. Serena and Nate followed behind you, crowding in the middle as Blair turned back to Dan.
"Serena, there you are. Uh, where were you?" Dan looked uncomfortable as everyone crowded him, the tension palpable.
"She was waiting in a hotel room for my boyfriend. To talk." Blair gave Serena a fake smile as your jaw dropped at her words.
"About why we weren't talking." Nate interjected as Blair glares at him.
"That doesn't sound any smarter the second time." Blair retorted, her tone sharp with frustration.
"I was there too." You spoke, giving Blair a glare. "If that helps." You gave Dan a sympathetic smile.
Dan's expression shifted from confusion to annoyance as he glanced between Serena and Blair, his brow furrowing deeper. "Why weren't you talking?"
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Chuck's smooth voice cut through the tension, his smirk widening as he surveyed the group. "Looks like we've stumbled upon quite the scandal."
"Oh, exactly what this situation needs, Chuck." Dan spoke, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Now what's going on here?"
"We were just getting to that." Blair turned to face Dan, a bitter smile etched on her lips.
"Blair, please. Don't do this." Serena pleaded, her voice tinged with desperation as she glanced between Blair and Dan.
"Sorry. You wanna tell him?" Blair's voice was laced with feign concern as she spoke.
You rolled your eyes, sighing. "This is pathetic. Oh my god." You muttered before Chuck spoke.
"I'll tell him." He spoke proudly as everyone shot him a look.
"You know?" They all (except Dan, of course) spoke with shocked looks.
"I know everything." Chuck's smirk widened as he sauntered forward, reveling in the attention.
Dan sighed, his frustration evident in his tone as he looked around at the group, his brows furrowed in confusion. "And apparently, I know nothing."
"Look, Dan. It-it was a long time ago and I regret it." Serena began to explain before Chuck interrupted.
"Look, Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend, I kinda admire you for it." Chuck's words hung in the air, a heavy silence descending upon the room as everyone processed his callous remark.
Serena's expression hardened, her jaw clenched with anger as she shot Chuck a scathing glare. Her eyes began to well up as your head fell back in utter irritation.
"Chuck, that's enough," you interjected, your voice firm as you shot him a warning glance. "This isn't helping anyone."
"Is that true?" Dan spoke, hurt evident in his voice.
"Well, then she ran away and lied about it. I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girl and her perfect world, and then get left alone with no one but your cabbage-patch kid." Blair spoke, amusement in her voice as everyone watched her. Dan's expression darkened as he processed her words, the hurt evident in his eyes.
"Cabbage patch?" You and Nate both said in union, your gaze flickering on each other before Blair continued.
"Did you talk to my sister?" Dan's voice was strained as he addressed Blair, his eyes searching hers for answers.
"Ah, yes little Jenny. I do believe me and her have some unfinished business." Chuck's voice interjected, his tone dripping with mischief as he stepped forward, his gaze locked on Dan.
"Chuck, what the hell? Isn't she a freshman?" You looked confused as you looked around the group, looking for answers but no one to give them to you.
"You stay away from her." Dan got close to Chuck as she spoke, anger evident in his expression.
"Poor Daniel. So little time, so many sluts to defend." Chuck smirked, obviously trying to get a rise out of Dan before he shoved him harshly into a table, glasses breaking as he fell to the ground.
Everyone in the room exchanged glances, shocked and amused ones. The room fell into a stunned silence as Dan's shove sent Chuck crashing into the table, the sound of breaking glass echoing in the room. Chuck regained his footing, his expression a mixture of surprise and irritation as he straightened himself.
Dan let out a big exhale as he looked at everyone in the room, regret seeping into his expression. "It's fine, it's fine, everyone can stop looking. He's a jerk. But it's-it's my fault and I'm leaving."
"I'll go with you." Serena spoke up, her voice soft as she turned to face Dan as he walked away.
"Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't." Dan replied, his tone firm and tinged with anger. He glanced at Serena with a mixture of disappointment and hurt before turning to leave the room.
As Dan walked away, leaving the room in a cloud of tension and unresolved emotions, you felt a surge of frustration and anger building up inside you. The chaos and drama that had unfolded before your eyes had reached its breaking point, and you couldn't hold back any longer.
"Seriously?" you exclaimed, your voice cutting through the quiet like a knife. "This is ridiculous! We're all acting like children, pointing fingers and placing blame, but what does that solve? Nothing!"
Blair opened her mouth to retort, but you didn't give her the chance to speak.
"And you," you continued as you glared at Blair, your voice cutting. "You can't keep dragging everyone down with your drama. You're so focused on your own vendettas and insecurities that you're willing to hurt everyone around you, including your own friends!"
Your gaze swept over the group, your frustration evident in your expression. "Nate, you can't just sit by and watch this happen when it all started with you. And Chuck, for once in your life, could you please just keep your mouth shut?"
Chuck's smirk faltered, his expression shifting from amusement to surprise as he regarded you with a raised eyebrow.
"You all need to grow up. You think this is some kind of game, but you're hurting people in the process. That poor guy, what was his name... Dan didn't deserve that. And even though Serena did some bad things, she doesn't deserve this, and I sure as hell don't deserve to be dragged into your mess." You spoke quietly as your words hung in the air, the tension in the room palpable as everyone processed your outburst.
You sighed before shaking your head, walking out of the room and out of the Palace. This was exactly why you didn't want to come to the brunch and why you didn't wanna come back to Manhattan. It was all drama, drama, drama. No logical thinking or empathy, just grudge-holding and gossip. It made you feel suffocated and you hated being dragged along in drama you didn't ask to be in.
But you knew that you didn't have a choice, that was just the life you were born into. Only a brunch in Manhattan can be this dramatic.
──౨ৎ──
You sat on your bedroom floor, going through the tens of albums of photos you have with Serena and Blair. It made you feel nostalgic and bittersweet. Each photograph captured a moment frozen in time, a memory of happier days before the drama and tension had consumed your friendship.
As you traced your fingers over the pictures, memories flooded back, reminding you of the moments you had cherished together. From late-night conversations to adventures, you had experienced so much together, and it was hard to believe how much had changed.
But now, everything felt different. The trust had been broken, and the rift between you seemed impossible to mend. You longed for the simplicity of those days, when your friendship was uncomplicated and unwavering.
As you lingered on each photo, you couldn't help but wonder if things would ever be the same again. Could you repair the damage that had been done? Could you rebuild the trust that had been shattered? Or was this the end of an era, the inevitable conclusion of a friendship that had once meant everything to you and the girls you'd once called your sisters.
As you flipped through the album, you stumbled across a photo of you and Nate. You were transported back in time, when you and Nate would spend every waking moment together. There were no secrets and no hidden feelings, it was pure friendship. But as you stared at the photo, focused on the way Nate stared at you, you wondered if you were naive to think that was all it ever was.
You couldn't help but wonder if you had been blind to the signs, oblivious to the undercurrents of attraction that may have existed beneath the surface of your friendship. Had you missed the subtle hints and longing glances, too caught up in the comfort of familiarity to see what was right in front of you?
As you continued to study the photo, a sense of longing washed over you, mingled with a twinge of regret. Regret for not exploring those feelings when you had the chance, for letting fear hold you back from taking that leap of faith.
You were quickly jolted out of your head as you felt your phone buzz on your bed. You got up from the floor and picked it up, reading the caller ID. The picture of Blair flashed on your phone screen, accompanied by her name. You hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to answer.
With a resigned sigh, you swiped to answer the call, bringing the phone to your ear. "Hey, Blair," you greeted, your voice tinged with uncertainty.
"Hey." Blair's voice came through the line, a hint of hesitation in her tone. "I, um... I wanted to talk."
You swallowed hard, steeling yourself for whatever conversation was about to unfold. "Okay, go ahead."
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Blair spoke again, her voice soft. "Today, at brunch. I should've never got you involved like that and if I wanted to screw Serena over, I should've waited for a better time. I... I'm sorry."
"No, it's alright," you replied, your own voice softening with understanding. "I shouldn't have went up to the suite with Serena, especially knowing that Nate was gonna meet up with us. I just want everyone to get along."
"You're sweet for thinking that and that's why I love you so much." Blair paused as she tried to find the right words. "Serena just isn't... she isn't good for us."
"Blair, I know you think you're trying to help me and I-I appreciate the sentiment but... I don't know. We've all been close for so long, I don't wanna choose a side. Serena messed up really bad but everyone deserves a second chance, right?" You rambled, not really knowing what to say.
Blair paused for a moment. "I don't think she deserves a second chance." Her voice was bitter and you could sense the hurt even from the phone. "But I can't expect you to choose a side. The one thing I ask is that we have to stay close, I can't lose two of my best friends."
That's exactly what Serena had said earlier and you wanted to tell Blair but it just didn't seem right. You wanted to tell Blair that shouldn't be so stubborn and cold, especially to her best friend but you couldn't find it in you.
You didn't blame Blair, either. You couldn't even imagine how betrayed you'd feel if Serena had done that to you - or anyone, for that matter. But at the same time, Blair shouldn't be acting like a child and making it her life mission to ruin Serena's life.
But it's not that simple, it never is.
"It's okay, B. I love you." You spoke, your voice exhausted.
Blair's silence hung heavy on the line for a moment before she spoke again, her voice softer this time. "I love you too, Y/N."
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a-aexotic · 1 month
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this was soooooo good !!!!!!!!!
Bad Faith Masterlist
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader
Rating: Mature (may change)
Notes: Not beta-read because when is it ever.
Warnings: Angst. Angst angst angst angst; reader is going through a divorce; Reader's married surname is Hayward; unhealthy coping mechanisms; lovers to enemies to allies to lovers....did I mention angst by any chance? Cause—
Summary: There were so many resources about Steven Hayward from the last decade—interviews, profiles, filings. In all of them, Steven came off as a self-assured, cocky, pompous asshat, but a decent strategist. Those same profiles had described Mrs. Hayward as the trophy wife, the little woman behind the man, tending to the arrangements for their multi-million, 3,000 square foot penthouse overlooking Central Park. For as much as Harvey had forced himself to forget about her, he couldn’t forget her spirit, her determination, her desire to build a life, not to be handed one. None of the credit was given to her. None of the glory, none of the acknowledgement of what Harvey was certain were her blood, sweat and tears in that man’s holdings. 
The tears that she had seemed set to shed in his office were all the indication that Harvey needed.
Part One
Part Two
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a-aexotic · 1 month
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i love love loveeeeeee bubblegum bitch!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH NONNIE I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU 🥹🫶🏼
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a-aexotic · 1 month
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𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, chapter 4
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𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ! 4.9k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 !
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 !
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"Y/N! Wake up right now!"
You stirred in your bed before you heard your mother's voice ring out again, except this time she was closer. She came into your room and she opened the blinds, making you let out a loud groan.
Yesterday was the most eventful day yet. You found your best friend's boyfriend (who you've been in love with since the 9th grade) slept with your other best friend the same night he told you he loved you. It sounds worse than it is, you swear.
You were also very hungover, considering you had... you're actually not sure how many vodka redbulls you had last night, but they were way more than you should've.
As your mother's voice echoed in your ears, you groaned and buried your head deeper into your pillow, the events of the previous night flooding back to your memory. The room spun slightly as you tried to sit up, your head throbbing with each movement.
You rubbed your eyes, the morning sunlight searing into your brain like a hot poker. "Mom, can you please close the blinds? I'm dying here."
Your mother ignored your plea, her expression stern as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We have brunch in two hours. Remember, the Bass' annual brunch?"
You groaned again, rolling over and burying your face in your pillow. "Mom, I can't do this today," you muttered, your voice muffled by the fabric of your pillow.
But your mother was having none of it. She pulled the covers off you, leaving you exposed to the chilly morning air. "I don't care what you can or can't do, Y/N. You need to get up and face the day. Now."
"Mom!"
"Your father wants you there, okay? Get up and take a shower, for the love of god." Your mother's voice cut through your haze, firm and unwavering.
You looked up at your mom, confusion on your expression as you sat up. "Wait, what do you mean?"
"I'm not going, I have a meeting." Your mother replied, her tone softened slightly. "But you need to go. And you need to make an effort, especially after last night."
You blinked, the events of the previous night flooding back to you in a rush. The party, Nate, Serena... It all felt like a bad dream. But the reality of it hit you like a ton of bricks as you groaned inwardly. "Can I come with you, please? I can be a great secretary."
Your mother gave you a pointed look as you rolled your eyes. You let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your tousled hair. "Fine," you muttered, pushing yourself out of bed with a resigned sigh. "But I'm not wearing heels."
"You are going to wear what I picked, sweetheart." She wiggled her eyebrows playfully as you swung your legs out of the bed.
You grumbled under your breath, knowing it was futile to argue with your mother when she had her mind set. As you heard her footsteps fade down the hallway, you flopped back onto your bed with a defeated groan. Today was shaping up to be even more of a nightmare than yesterday.
"Out of the bed, Y/N!"
With a resigned shrug, you trudged towards the bathroom to start getting ready for the day ahead.
──౨ৎ──
You walked into the Palace, heels clicking as you walked next to your family. You were wearing a deep frown as your father walked hand-in-hand with Josie, Charlene walking next to you.
The elegant decor and the clinking of glasses only served to remind you of the facade of perfection that often overshadowed the reality of life in the Upper East Side. But you plastered on a polite smile, burying your turmoil beneath a facade of composure. After all, in the world of Manhattan's elite, appearances were everything. And you were determined not to let the cracks show.
"Charlene is going to follow in my footsteps, she will be attending Harvard." Your father looked at Charlene, a proud grin plastered on his face as you felt slight resentment building in your stomach.
Harvard, prestigious and exciting, had always been a dream for you. Yet here you were, overshadowed by Charlene, forced to the sidelines of your father's attention.
It irked you that Charlene, who wasn't even his biological daughter, was being showered with praise while you felt overlooked and underappreciated. The unfairness of it all left a bitter taste in your mouth, threatening to sour the already strained atmosphere.
You fought to keep your own smile in place, masking the bitterness that threatened to consume you. It wasn't Charlene's fault, after all. She was just a pawn in your father's game of appearances, a tool to bolster his image of prestige.
You felt a tap on your shoulder, turning to meet Blair's eyes. You couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh as she greeted your parents. "You won't mind if I steal Y/N for a moment?"
"Of course not, dear. She's all yours." Josie spoke with a grin as Blair grabbed your arm, pulling you away from your 'family.'
"Thank you, B." You let out a big exhale, earning a soft chuckle from Blair.
"I heard what your father was saying about your step sister. That was cold, I mean... really cold." Blair gave you a sympathetic nod as you let out a bitter scoff. Harvard has been your dream since you were a kid, basically.
And now he just passes the dream off to Charlene like it meant absolutely nothing. "It's not fair."
Blair's expression softened with understanding as she listened to your frustration. "I can't imagine how mad that must feel, Y/N. Harvard has been your dream for as long as I've known you."
"It doesn't matter anymore." You muttered as you reached the drinks, pouring yourself a glass of scotch.
Blair gave you an amused look. "It's barely noon, Y/N. Scotch?"
You shrugged nonchalantly, taking a sip of the scotch and relishing in the burn as it slid down your throat. "Why not? It's been that kind of morning."
Blair chuckled, shaking her head as she reached for a glass of champagne. "Well, if we're indulging, might as well make it a proper brunch, right?"
You smirked, raising your glass in agreement. "Cheers to that, sister."
One glass of scotch turned into three, and now you were seated next to Chuck Bass laughing at every word that came out of his mouth.
"So, Y/N," Chuck drawled, a glint in his eyes as he leaned closer. "Any scandalous gossip to share with your old pal?"
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk playing on your lips. "If I told you, Bass, it wouldn't be scandalous anymore, would it?"
Chuck chuckled, his laughter infectious. "Touché, my dear. But a little birdie told me you're the one with all the juicy secrets."
You feigned innocence, batting your eyelashes in mock surprise. "Oh, I'm just a humble observer of the Upper East Side drama, Chuck. But who knows? Maybe I'll let you in on a secret or two."
Blair, who was sitting across from you, rolled her eyes playfully at Chuck's smooth talk. "Don't encourage him, Y/N. You know what happens when you do."
You let out a very loud laugh, making Blair snort as you shook your head. You heard the chair next to you drag and you looked up to meet Nate's blue eyes. You rolled your eyes, not hiding your annoyance as he took a seat next to Chuck, separating you two.
"Looks like the gang's all here," Chuck remarked, a knowing smirk on his lips before he continued. "Oh, except Serena."
Chuck's mention of Serena brought a sudden stillness to the table, the jovial atmosphere tempered by her absence. You glanced around, noting the subtle shift in mood as everyone exchanged uneasy looks.
Blair rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her mimosa. "You really know how to ruin the mood, Chuck."
Chuck chuckled, unfazed by Blair's remark. "Just keeping things interesting, Blair. Wouldn't want our brunch to be too dull now, would we?"
Nate cleared his throat, breaking the tension with a forced smile. "So, what's on the agenda for today, aside from the gossip and bottomless mimosas?"
Blair shot Nate a pointed look, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Well, considering you're here, I'd say we have all the ingredients for a classic Upper East Side drama."
You couldn't help but laugh at Blair's dry humor, grateful for the brief respite from the tension. "Ah, the joys of being back in Manhattan."
"Actually we're missing one key ingredient." Chuck smirked as his gaze fell on the previously mentioned blonde with the same guy she was with the night before, on the other side of the venue. "Looks like she decided to come by."
Blair's gaze fell on Serena, a bitter laugh falling out of her lips. "You've gotta be kidding me."
You got up from the table, grabbing your glass as you tried to walk away. Instead, you tripped, causing Nate to hold on your arm to stabilize you. "How many drinks have you had?"
"Why do you care, Nate?" You spoke as you ripped your arm from his grip, excusing yourself to go get yourself another drink.
Nate watched you go with a troubled expression, his eyes following your retreating figure with concern. He knew you were hurting, and seeing you in this state only added to his guilt.
As you made your way to the bar, the room seemed to spin slightly around you, the weight of the previous night's events pressing down on your shoulders. You reached the bar and poured another drink, the cool liquid providing a temporary comfort from the problems in your life right now.
Before you could drink it, you felt someone grip your arm. You looked to meet your father's disappointed gaze. "That's your third glass, Y/N. Put it down."
You narrowed your eyes as you let out a bitter scoff. "Since when do you care? How about you check on your sweet Charlene."
"So this is what this is about? You're jealous I'm giving Charlene some attention. Come on, Y/N, you're acting like a child." Your father whispered as he looked around, making sure no one is watching too hard.
You clenched your jaw, the bitterness of your own words lingering on your tongue as you glared at your father. "I'm not jealous, Dad. I'm just angry that you just threw away me and Mom for a brand new, shiny family. How do you think I feel?"
Your father's eyes widened in surprise at your words, the weight of your accusation hitting him like a blow. He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to catch in his throat as he struggled to reply.
You glared at him, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. "That's what I thought." With that, you shrugged off his grip and stormed away, the weight of your resentment heavy on your shoulders.
As you walked away, you left the room and began walking through the Palace. You were so overwhelmed, you didn't even know what to do anymore. You couldn't run away from it anymore, you had to face it.
You were walking before you ran into Serena and Nate, talking. They both saw you and Serena immediately began walking toward you, Nate following the both of you.
"I need to talk to you." Serena spoke with urgency, her eyes pleading for your attention.
You crossed your arms over your chest, a defensive barrier between you and the two people who had caused you so much turmoil. "I don't think there's anything left to say, Serena."
"You told her too?" Serena sent a glare toward Nate, causing you to scoff.
"I didn't, it was Blair." Nate's gaze was on you as he spoke, guilt in his expression.
Your eyes stayed on Serena. "Why does it matter? I know now."
Serena's expression softened, her voice filled with remorse. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."
"Can we all just talk please? Not here, though." Nate spoke as his gaze flickered between you and Serena. "Meet me in Chuck's suite in 10, okay?"
You hesitated for a second as Serena took the key from him as he walked away. You looked up at the taller blonde, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. "Fine."
You and Serena made your way to Chuck's suite in tense silence before she broke the silence. "Look, I know hurt Blair. And I know you're trying to protect her but... I don't like Nate, you have to believe me. I was drunk and-and hurt, Y/N."
Your steps slowed as Serena's words sank in, the tension in the air thickening with each passing moment. Despite the anger and betrayal swirling inside you, you couldn't deny the honesty in Serena's voice.
"I get that you were hurt, Serena," you began, your tone softer than before. "But that doesn't change the fact that what you did... it hurt Blair. And me too."
Serena's eyes pleaded with you for understanding. "I know, Y/N. And I'm sorry. But I can't have both of my best friends angry at me, I don't know how I'd manage."
You sighed, feeling the weight of Serena's words. "I know. I get it. I'm not mad at you but that doesn't mean I'm taking your side in this whole mess, I'll do my best to get Blair to relax."
Serena's shoulders relaxed slightly at your words, a faint smile touching her lips. "Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot to me."
You returned her smile with a nod, knowing that resolving the tension between Serena and Blair wouldn't be easy, but feeling determined to try. "Let's just take it one step at a time, okay? We'll figure things out."
You got to Chuck's suite and waited inside. And as you heard the door swing open, your eyebrows furrowed as you saw Blair and Nate kissing before he slowly pulls her off. "Wait, this is Chuck's suite."
"Nate." Serena spoke as she watched the scene in front of her.
Blair's eyes flickered in between you and Serena, anger clear in her expression. "What is she doing here?"
"Meeting Nate," Serena replied honestly as you let out an exhale.
"Me and Y/N just wanted to talk her, I swear." Nate's voice was rushed as he tried to explain, as he glanced between you, Blair, and Serena, his expression caught between guilt and irritation.
"You said you'd never speak to her again." Blair's voice sounded hurt as she glared back at Nate, her voice sharp with accusation.
"You said that?" You muttered as you rolled your eyes. How the hell did you get mixed up in all this? This is what happens when you give people the benefit of the doubt.
"Why would you say that?" Serena's voice was laced with disbelief as she glared back at Blair.
Blair's gaze hardened as she turned to face you. "Why are you even here, Y/N? Are you taking her side now? She can't be trusted, I thought I told you."
"It's not Serena's fault." You and Nate spoke in union, earning a scoff from Blair.
"I asked her to come." Nate continued as his eyes flickered to yours.
"Oh! Oh, so you wanted to talk." Blair's voice boomed as she glared back at Nate, her voice laced with betrayal.
"Yes, to explain why we... aren't talking." Nate continued, his voice faltering slightly under Blair's intense gaze.
"Fine. Maybe I'll leave you guys to finish this fancistaniating conversation." Blair's jaw tensed, her frustration evident as she glanced between you, Nate, and Serena as she began walking away.
"Oh, no, no I'll go. I'll let you two get back to your quickie." Serena's voice dripped with sarcasm as she walked up to Blair, her tone biting with resentment.
Blair shot Serena a scathing look, her eyes flashing with anger. "It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually kind of a big deal to some of us!"
"Enough, both of you," you said firmly, your voice cutting through the silence. "We're not going to accomplish anything by arguing like this."
Blair's jaw clenched as she shot you a sharp look, her frustration evident. "You don't understand, Y/N. Serena is the reason for all of this mess."
Serena glared back at Blair, scoffing bitterly as she ignored your words. "Losing your v-card in Chuck's bed, real romantic. Classy too."
"Oh, like you?" Blair let out a bitter laugh as she looked in between you two before backing up slowly. "I bet your new friend Dan would love to hear all about how classy you are."
"Blair!" You shouted as Blair ran out of the suite, running after her. You lost her quickly, looking everywhere to go find her. You didn't even know why you cared so much, you didn't want to be involved in this mess anymore.
Blair found Dan quickly, going up to him with a big grin. "Dan! Hi. I'm Blair Waldorf, Serena's friend." She shook his hand, his expression confused.
"Oh, yeah. Hey, do you, uh know where she is?" Dan asked, his brows furrowing in concern as he met Blair's gaze.
"As a matter of fact, I do!" Blair's smile didn't falter as she began to speak before getting interuppted.
"Blair." You spoke as you glared at her. Serena and Nate followed behind you, crowding in the middle as Blair turned back to Dan.
"Serena, there you are. Uh, where were you?" Dan looked uncomfortable as everyone crowded him, the tension palpable.
"She was waiting in a hotel room for my boyfriend. To talk." Blair gave Serena a fake smile as your jaw dropped at her words.
"About why we weren't talking." Nate interjected as Blair glares at him.
"That doesn't sound any smarter the second time." Blair retorted, her tone sharp with frustration.
"I was there too." You spoke, giving Blair a glare. "If that helps." You gave Dan a sympathetic smile.
Dan's expression shifted from confusion to annoyance as he glanced between Serena and Blair, his brow furrowing deeper. "Why weren't you talking?"
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Chuck's smooth voice cut through the tension, his smirk widening as he surveyed the group. "Looks like we've stumbled upon quite the scandal."
"Oh, exactly what this situation needs, Chuck." Dan spoke, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Now what's going on here?"
"We were just getting to that." Blair turned to face Dan, a bitter smile etched on her lips.
"Blair, please. Don't do this." Serena pleaded, her voice tinged with desperation as she glanced between Blair and Dan.
"Sorry. You wanna tell him?" Blair's voice was laced with feign concern as she spoke.
You rolled your eyes, sighing. "This is pathetic. Oh my god." You muttered before Chuck spoke.
"I'll tell him." He spoke proudly as everyone shot him a look.
"You know?" They all (except Dan, of course) spoke with shocked looks.
"I know everything." Chuck's smirk widened as he sauntered forward, reveling in the attention.
Dan sighed, his frustration evident in his tone as he looked around at the group, his brows furrowed in confusion. "And apparently, I know nothing."
"Look, Dan. It-it was a long time ago and I regret it." Serena began to explain before Chuck interrupted.
"Look, Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend, I kinda admire you for it." Chuck's words hung in the air, a heavy silence descending upon the room as everyone processed his callous remark.
Serena's expression hardened, her jaw clenched with anger as she shot Chuck a scathing glare. Her eyes began to well up as your head fell back in utter irritation.
"Chuck, that's enough," you interjected, your voice firm as you shot him a warning glance. "This isn't helping anyone."
"Is that true?" Dan spoke, hurt evident in his voice.
"Well, then she ran away and lied about it. I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girl and her perfect world, and then get left alone with no one but your cabbage-patch kid." Blair spoke, amusement in her voice as everyone watched her. Dan's expression darkened as he processed her words, the hurt evident in his eyes.
"Cabbage patch?" You and Nate both said in union, your gaze flickering on each other before Blair continued.
"Did you talk to my sister?" Dan's voice was strained as he addressed Blair, his eyes searching hers for answers.
"Ah, yes little Jenny. I do believe me and her have some unfinished business." Chuck's voice interjected, his tone dripping with mischief as he stepped forward, his gaze locked on Dan.
"Chuck, what the hell? Isn't she a freshman?" You looked confused as you looked around the group, looking for answers but no one to give them to you.
"You stay away from her." Dan got close to Chuck as she spoke, anger evident in his expression.
"Poor Daniel. So little time, so many sluts to defend." Chuck smirked, obviously trying to get a rise out of Dan before he shoved him harshly into a table, glasses breaking as he fell to the ground.
Everyone in the room exchanged glances, shocked and amused ones. The room fell into a stunned silence as Dan's shove sent Chuck crashing into the table, the sound of breaking glass echoing in the room. Chuck regained his footing, his expression a mixture of surprise and irritation as he straightened himself.
Dan let out a big exhale as he looked at everyone in the room, regret seeping into his expression. "It's fine, it's fine, everyone can stop looking. He's a jerk. But it's-it's my fault and I'm leaving."
"I'll go with you." Serena spoke up, her voice soft as she turned to face Dan as he walked away.
"Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't." Dan replied, his tone firm and tinged with anger. He glanced at Serena with a mixture of disappointment and hurt before turning to leave the room.
As Dan walked away, leaving the room in a cloud of tension and unresolved emotions, you felt a surge of frustration and anger building up inside you. The chaos and drama that had unfolded before your eyes had reached its breaking point, and you couldn't hold back any longer.
"Seriously?" you exclaimed, your voice cutting through the quiet like a knife. "This is ridiculous! We're all acting like children, pointing fingers and placing blame, but what does that solve? Nothing!"
Blair opened her mouth to retort, but you didn't give her the chance to speak.
"And you," you continued as you glared at Blair, your voice cutting. "You can't keep dragging everyone down with your drama. You're so focused on your own vendettas and insecurities that you're willing to hurt everyone around you, including your own friends!"
Your gaze swept over the group, your frustration evident in your expression. "Nate, you can't just sit by and watch this happen when it all started with you. And Chuck, for once in your life, could you please just keep your mouth shut?"
Chuck's smirk faltered, his expression shifting from amusement to surprise as he regarded you with a raised eyebrow.
"You all need to grow up. You think this is some kind of game, but you're hurting people in the process. That poor guy, what was his name... Dan didn't deserve that. And even though Serena did some bad things, she doesn't deserve this, and I sure as hell don't deserve to be dragged into your mess." You spoke quietly as your words hung in the air, the tension in the room palpable as everyone processed your outburst.
You sighed before shaking your head, walking out of the room and out of the Palace. This was exactly why you didn't want to come to the brunch and why you didn't wanna come back to Manhattan. It was all drama, drama, drama. No logical thinking or empathy, just grudge-holding and gossip. It made you feel suffocated and you hated being dragged along in drama you didn't ask to be in.
But you knew that you didn't have a choice, that was just the life you were born into. Only a brunch in Manhattan can be this dramatic.
──౨ৎ──
You sat on your bedroom floor, going through the tens of albums of photos you have with Serena and Blair. It made you feel nostalgic and bittersweet. Each photograph captured a moment frozen in time, a memory of happier days before the drama and tension had consumed your friendship.
As you traced your fingers over the pictures, memories flooded back, reminding you of the moments you had cherished together. From late-night conversations to adventures, you had experienced so much together, and it was hard to believe how much had changed.
But now, everything felt different. The trust had been broken, and the rift between you seemed impossible to mend. You longed for the simplicity of those days, when your friendship was uncomplicated and unwavering.
As you lingered on each photo, you couldn't help but wonder if things would ever be the same again. Could you repair the damage that had been done? Could you rebuild the trust that had been shattered? Or was this the end of an era, the inevitable conclusion of a friendship that had once meant everything to you and the girls you'd once called your sisters.
As you flipped through the album, you stumbled across a photo of you and Nate. You were transported back in time, when you and Nate would spend every waking moment together. There were no secrets and no hidden feelings, it was pure friendship. But as you stared at the photo, focused on the way Nate stared at you, you wondered if you were naive to think that was all it ever was.
You couldn't help but wonder if you had been blind to the signs, oblivious to the undercurrents of attraction that may have existed beneath the surface of your friendship. Had you missed the subtle hints and longing glances, too caught up in the comfort of familiarity to see what was right in front of you?
As you continued to study the photo, a sense of longing washed over you, mingled with a twinge of regret. Regret for not exploring those feelings when you had the chance, for letting fear hold you back from taking that leap of faith.
You were quickly jolted out of your head as you felt your phone buzz on your bed. You got up from the floor and picked it up, reading the caller ID. The picture of Blair flashed on your phone screen, accompanied by her name. You hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to answer.
With a resigned sigh, you swiped to answer the call, bringing the phone to your ear. "Hey, Blair," you greeted, your voice tinged with uncertainty.
"Hey." Blair's voice came through the line, a hint of hesitation in her tone. "I, um... I wanted to talk."
You swallowed hard, steeling yourself for whatever conversation was about to unfold. "Okay, go ahead."
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Blair spoke again, her voice soft. "Today, at brunch. I should've never got you involved like that and if I wanted to screw Serena over, I should've waited for a better time. I... I'm sorry."
"No, it's alright," you replied, your own voice softening with understanding. "I shouldn't have went up to the suite with Serena, especially knowing that Nate was gonna meet up with us. I just want everyone to get along."
"You're sweet for thinking that and that's why I love you so much." Blair paused as she tried to find the right words. "Serena just isn't... she isn't good for us."
"Blair, I know you think you're trying to help me and I-I appreciate the sentiment but... I don't know. We've all been close for so long, I don't wanna choose a side. Serena messed up really bad but everyone deserves a second chance, right?" You rambled, not really knowing what to say.
Blair paused for a moment. "I don't think she deserves a second chance." Her voice was bitter and you could sense the hurt even from the phone. "But I can't expect you to choose a side. The one thing I ask is that we have to stay close, I can't lose two of my best friends."
That's exactly what Serena had said earlier and you wanted to tell Blair but it just didn't seem right. You wanted to tell Blair that shouldn't be so stubborn and cold, especially to her best friend but you couldn't find it in you.
You didn't blame Blair, either. You couldn't even imagine how betrayed you'd feel if Serena had done that to you - or anyone, for that matter. But at the same time, Blair shouldn't be acting like a child and making it her life mission to ruin Serena's life.
But it's not that simple, it never is.
"It's okay, B. I love you." You spoke, your voice exhausted.
Blair's silence hung heavy on the line for a moment before she spoke again, her voice softer this time. "I love you too, Y/N."
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