If the boys played “never have I ever” in an interview, what would be revealed to the public?
I SPRINTED TO MY COMPUTER
here's the transcript of poisoned mercury's buzzfeed interview where they played never have i ever as part of their press tour to promote their new album:
interviewer: thank you guys for coming!
luke *smiling while he fixes his mic*: thanks for having us :) we were just talking about how we used to do buzzfeed quizzes when we were younger.
travis: there were many days where we'd be in luke's house back in connecticut and completely forget that we were supposed to be rehearsing because we got caught up trying to figure out which inside out emotion we were.
interviewer: well, i'm glad to hear it because today we're gonna play a game of 'never have i ever.'
chris: unrelated but i fucking love that show. team paxton for life.
luke: dude no. ben is clearly the right choice.
connor: ok mr. enemies to lovers, of course you'd say that.
luke: shut up???!
travis: i think if we took the inside out quiz again right now, i'd get disgust because that's how i feel being in a band with two idiots who are so in love with their girlfriends.
connor: swear to god if i hear another "no you hang up first," from either one of you *looks at chris and luke* i'm blowing my brains out.
interviewer looks around the room, trying to ask the producers what she should do. the video editors are already stressing because they know they have to bleep out a lot of the words the boys are using.
interviewer: .... so let's start with the first question. never have i ever gone skinny dipping.
chris: fuck, how did you get all of us on the first question?
connor: yeah we've gone skinny dipping a few times, but the most recent was last summer. mama c-- shoutout mama c, we love you!
luke: yeah, we love you mama!
connor: she put all of us on timeout and we spent the entire summer at a music camp and on our last night, we all went skinny dipping at the lake with our roommates.
luke: oh shit, i forgot about that. those were good times. *looks at chris* i miss camp bro.
chris: me too.
travis *stares deadpan into the camera*: do you see what we have to deal with?
interviewer: never have i ever had a crush on a friend's sibling.
travis: guilty.
chris *turns his head so fast*: given that you're related to connor and luke is an only child, you better be talking about a non-band friend.
travis *shrugging*: your older sister is hot, rodriguez.
chris: stay away from my sister.
luke *looks at the interviewer with wide eyes*: next question or you'll have a video to submit to worldstar.
interviewer: oh! uh, okay-- never have i ever accidentally posted something to my main account instead of my private or close friends one.
connor *cracking up*: castellan, wanna take this one?
luke *blushing*: this feels like a targeted question because we know the infamous video of me with the handsome squidward filter on (the hozier incident) that was supposed to go on my close friends story! i was so embarrassed. to be clear, i was JOKING. i don't actually flirt like that.
travis: i've seen you flirt with y/n, and you in the squidward video had more game than you normally do.
luke *teasing because he knows travis does not want a relationship*: and yet who's single between the two of us?
connor: oh he got you there.
travis: y/n, if you're watching this, you deserve better. he's a loser. i have better friends i can set you up with.
luke: five star, if you're watching this, you're stuck with me. there's no going back.
interviewer: never have i ever had a song written about me.
chris: this is a great pivot to promote our sophomore album's lead single, "kiss her you fool!" we wrote this song about our front man, luke, here. our second album "optimism don't come easy (unless it's with you)" is out now.
interviewer: i love that shameless self-promo.
connor: i think we as a band can benefit from having some shame, but thank you.
chris *turns to luke*: this will also come as a shock to you, but there's another song out in the world that's kinda about you.
luke: huh? which one?
travis: quinnie, remember her? she was in cabin 7. she wrote the bulk of it, but y/n actually gave her the idea. chris and connor helped her with instrumentals and the song is sick.
connor: it was amazing. quinnie is so talented. if you guys haven't heard her music, i highly, highly recommend it. the song we're talking about is called touch tank. you guys should check it out.
chris: agreed. she's also just a fucking cool person. she's one of our closest friends in the industry.
travis *making a heart with his hands*: we love you, quinnie!
interviewer: okay, final question since we're running out of time. never have i ever gone on a world tour for my band's second album.
luke *laughs*: i see what you did there. that was good.
connor: we are soooooo excited to announce that we're going back on tour! this summer, we'll be seeing all your beautiful faces again. tickets go on sale this friday! we hope to see you there!
luke: check out our band's twitter for more information on how to get tickets and to see if we'll be coming to a city near you.
chris: we miss seeing you guys!
travis: see you guys so soon! we love you!
interviewer: that's all the time we have for today. thank you guys so much. it was a pleasure!
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