#work alongside. i dont fucking care. you can be as antisemitic as you like in private. stop fucking the movement up.

[gayerluke]

this is the same aunt that’s always sharing stupid pro-israel/zionist shit on my facebook (SHE’S NOT JEWISH) & constantly putting me in this difficult situation of “how do i tell her why i don’t like this & to stop doing it without sounding like a bitch?” so i usually just delete it, she also shares like those cutesy animal videos that are actually really unsafe but i’ve given up on that battle entirely & just like them all without looking at them.

her sister is the one who doesn’t speak to me because she goaded me into a political argument that i refused to have where she accused me of not only aligning with but supporting literal homophobes, until finally i told her that this wasn’t fair to me as someone who is actually in the line of fire & affected by these things, whereas despite her belief that she is oppressed for being a democrat who chooses to live in texas, actually she is not, & even though that is a true statement i apologized sincerely & humbly for it & never got an apology or even a response back from her for saying i was voting for trump & pence, the guy who wants me to be electrocuted to death, & this was ALL because i said hillary clinton wasn’t perfect, like those were pretty much my exact words (i believe my post was “if you really think the email thing is the only bad thing hillary clinton has ever done you’re living in a fantasy world”) & then i had to PROVE that hillary wasn’t perfect bc if you’re saying hillary’s not perfect clearly that means you’re a republican, bc There Is No Other Side, so i brought up the antiblack “super criminal” shit as one example but that was FALSE bc when hillary talked about bringing black boys to heel it in fact WASN’T racist, & also BERNIE agreed even though at this point he was out of the race & irrelevant & i had not even said anything about him or indicated that i supported him, & the whole time i kept trying to agree to disagree until someone had to end it so i just told her that she needs to trust that i know what’s right for myself since out of the two of us i am the one who will actually be materially affected by the outcome of these things, but apparently pointing out that she wasn’t going to be stripped of any rights was the greatest insult of all & not only does she not speak to me but she also blocked me on facebook, because instead of working out conflict with a presumably-beloved family member like a human being, she has decided, as an adult human woman in her 50s, that the appropriate way to deal with a disagreement (which we didn’t even have!!! we voted for the same person!!!!!) is to cut off all communication with the other party like you’re a high schooler, because that’s just how little she cares about me or values me, & when another horrible nightmare comes true, & gays or jews are in the news being attacked & murdered, i doubt she ever feels bad about doing that shit to me but she’s probably secretly glad to know im hurting, bc i deserve it for whatever wrong opinion i apparently had.

so now every time her sister pulls some innocently-stupid-but-harmful shit i have to have this whole war within myself over how i can disagree without coming off as a bitch, how i can be eloquent & gracious in telling her to knock it off, how i can find language that WON’T make me sound like an angry k--- d--- but oops that’s impossible bc no matter what i say, if it’s coming out of my mouth it’s angry k--- d--- talk because that’s what i am, but we’re liberals so we will never examine our own innate homophobia & antisemitism because of course we don’t have that, so then i get stuck with constantly tone-policing myself & constantly having to stomach all these regular soul-crushing microaggressions like “i’d like to learn yiddish for fun,” “she recently became jewish,” “if you’re going to be jewish you need to know the bible,” “she wants us to use she/her pronouns but she still likes women so it’s so confusing!” (about a trans coworker, so if i like women does that make me a man?), “i am ok with homosexuals i just don’t want to see it” (oh wow pulling out an oldie-but-goodie from when i was a child that you probably have no memory of! But I Do 🙂 ps it was literally about watching a regular movie, only with gays in it which apparently makes it pornography). not to mention things about my weight that i no longer let pass, not insulting things but i pointed out that the first thing out of her mouth upon seeing me being “wow, you’ve lost weight!” is inappropriate in any situation, but particularly weird given that it was because i’d had an 8lb cyst removed. 

ANYWAY IM JUST FUCKING STRESSED bc all my Chill family members are literally dead & i have no one left & i don’t want to alienate another aunt from my life bc that’ll knock out a whole half of my remaining family which is her & her husband, but like that doesnt mean im going to allow her to just put unapproved photos of me up on the internet alongside all of my private information!!! im not!!!! & that’s not unreasonable or crazy!!!!

& somehow my mom just stays out of all of this, like she doesn’t stick up for me, she doesn’t defend me, & it’s like you’re not watching two of your sisters argue, I AM LITERALLY YOUR DAUGHTER, please dont act like you’re not with me!!!! that hurts!!!! whether you’re ashamed of raising an ugly hairy loud-mouthed (((assertive))) k--- d--- or not, you did & you have a responsibility to it, im YOUR monster & i deserve some fucking support!!!!!

& if you don’t like long posts about my stupid fucking meaningless life just unfollow me bc i am literally alone!!!! i have no one else to talk to except for this stupid fucking site full of children at 2am on a sunday

#k slur - #d slur - #transmisogyny - #antisemitism - #homophobia - #whatever in not gonna apologize for complaining when it could be worse #im tired of not allowing myself to say anything without an apology #lesbophobia -