#which was my raison d'etre for writing it so like pat on the back mbp job well done you wrote a unique and thought provoking fic

[mybrainproblems]

Joining a new fandom tends to like, Ignite my creativity/desire to write but spn is really difficult for me bc the fandom is old enough that it feels like everything has been done before. So it feels like what’s the point in writing if I’m just rehashing the same story that someone else did years ago even though I’m thoroughly unaware of it like idk! 

I guess the feeling partially stems from the fact that I wrote some kinda unique stuff when I was into snk and lay claim to being the first person to write plantacle porn for todobaku? (possibly still the only person??) And so anything less than ‘thoroughly unique’ just feels like... why bother if it’s already been done?

#i feel like there's nothing new that i can add and i staked so much of myself on writing 'different' types of fic for snk #i want nothing to do with the fandom anymore but i consider tgh to be my greatest writing achievement #not just bc i actually finished a novel but bc i had commenters talking about how it changed their views on things #and a lot of younger-ish readers talking about how it gave them more perspective on things #which was my raison d'etre for writing it so like pat on the back mbp job well done you wrote a unique and thought provoking fic #but then now i feel like i have nothing to really contribute that is original so why bother writing anything? #this is also why i've never written for stucky: one writer has literally written a fic that is everything i want to write about #but done soooo much better than i could ever do it and i literally cannot reread the fic bc it is too perfect and i cried so hard #but anyway! feeling a bit down on my writing atm and have a half-finished fic and a bunch of ideas but not a lot of motivation to write #my ability to plot and stick to it is also not great and mostly i just love writing atmospheric descriptions