#which means right on brand for me

[ct-multifandom]

I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.

It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.

By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.

Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.

#anti intellectualism #media #movies #books #music #critical thinking #my friend who primarily listens to one very popular band once said that people who listen to obscure music are annoying and pretentious #which rubbed me the wrong way because 1 she knows that I listen to obscure music and 2 it’s such a cowardly consumerist take. anyone can #make music and hey a lot of the people who do make GOOD music. and this goes for all *obscure* media #this post was mostly inspired by people talking about Barbie and those anti pick me girls like the pick nobody girls who insist thinking is #for boys and having fun with an empty brain is for girls. Greta gerwig is an artist. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I know it has a deeper #message than haha cute pink! I’ve seen the summaries about the true meaning. the pinkness and popularity doesn’t negate the narritive. #though in the notes I saw a lot of tumblristas comunistas shitting on the film for being one big ad that people *fell for* which tbh is #tbh almost as anti-intellectual. don’t get me wrong they milked this film to sell hella shit but I don’t believe kids who play with dolls #are the target audience as these people claim. Barbie is a culturally iconic symbol almost archetypical of societal expectations for women #you say barbie people think unblinking perfect plastic pink girly. reminds me of the poem The Last Mojave Indian Barbie. yeah yeah you all #hate brands but this one carries undeniable significance and makes for a powerful literary device. it’s been used many times before #sorry for writing a tag essay about a film I haven’t even seen but I’m tired of internet people focusing so much on proving others wrong #that they end up oversimplifying everything just as much as the other person. god I saw people doing this to Nimona saying transphobes were #looking too deep into her character and they’re reactionary clowns for making that jump. like for once the transphobes are right. she is #trans. it’s a queer story. and irl the first people who notice queerness are the bigots who can tell you’re different. sick owns telling #them the story’s not that deep is harmful and it’s like they’re ignoring the real message on purpose. okay enough rambling hehe! thanks #barbie #nimona

[vampiricsheep]

what lies beneath/within had their ups and downs but I DID just get beamed that realization that if sheep was there, what it would see might be a new horror for its companions if they got a glimpse. just repeat after repeat of:

being marked, immobilized, and descended upon by a horde of enemies hunting it for sport

being trampled to death trying to pick up a bleeding-out friend before the horde catches up

being left for dead in what would have been an even fight because its allies ditched it as soon as the enemy group focused on it

following an allied army into battle only to watch them fall like a house of cards around it in the face of another enemy group

#out of context mist war vignettes #fillan with the tails-gets-trolled expression honestly #just. the peppy weirdo that doesn't take death seriously went through that? no wonder its optimism is absurd against the odds #soft sheep #wvw exists in a weird technically canon but also not space and sheep is right in the middle of it! #which honestly makes it being the wayfinder funnier to me. 'mists travel you'll get used to it' 'not my first rodeo soldier :) ' #BUT sheep HAS to be the wayfinder I think. my opinions on SotO are undecided and perhaps uncharitable but it does- #-mean my tyrian commanders can retire for real. sheep goes to investigate the weird cult while Fillan's on vacay and gets sucked into this #and little weirdo that it is ppl probably don't think anything's outside of its brand of normalcy #ANYWAYS I gotta sleep but it's hard :(

[selftrepanning]

i’m genuinely making myself sick over this beautiful old house i was showing my bf on zillow trying to convince him somehow we could totally not only buy a house but that one specifically

#what’s making me particularly nauseous is that it’s much cheaper than most houses around here #which doesn’t even mean there’s serious problems with it it’s just old & everyone here wants a brand new mcmansion that’s $800000+ #and 4 bedrooms and 4 total fireplaces and there’s a master bed with a bath off of it… like i’m fucking insane right now #and original hardwood and 20 original stained glass windows. 😶‍🌫️

[johanthefriskiestofbits]

oooooo please tell me (who knows nothing on the subject) about orv swap au

hehehe. hehehehehehe. hehehehehehehhehehehhheheheh <- guy who is so normal

the premise of orv swap au (name has yet to be finalized) is this: what if kdj and yjh swapped narrative positions (reader <-> character) but very little else? what if a video game player enters a time loop to save his favorite character from dying over and over again and also to end the apocalypse?

admittedly it's not super fleshed out yet (a lot of the changes this premise would introduce are still not hammered out yet) but here are some points under the cut (novel spoilers ahead!)

orv swap au starts with pro gamer yjh who feels :/ abt his job, but hey, it pays the bills. despite (or maybe because of) his relative popularity as a pro gamer and networking with the agency/sponsors/people to impress, he's kind of isolated in a way that's detrimental, a facade of someone he's not whenever he's on camera

something to play around with is the idea of agency? maybe this yjh doesn't feel like he has any and has his hands tied between the lifestyle and being under public scrutiny and not having enough of a support system to leave everything behind. maybe he doesn't know what else he would even do. maybe he's aimless and drifting with nothing to hold on to.

his favorite video game is what i've been thinking of as World's Hardest To Play Indie Game (not based on difficulty but just on the experience of consuming it) a boring, exposition heavy, player-hostile, poorly designed, slightly buggy mess of a barely-playable game: twsa, a game that was not finished upon release and experiences with sporadic updates every now and then.

the ending tree to this game is so convoluted its insane. also theres no save states so if you die (very likely) u restart babeyyy.

twsa (video game) does have multiple endings, all of which happen when kdj, your main character, dies. some are farther into the apocolypse than others, some paths require meta knowledge of future events or character actions or items or whatever. the "true ending" is either analogous to the original 1863: kdj makes it to the end at the cost of everyone he loves, or hsy's modified 1863: kdj makes himself enemy of the scenario to secure a way out for the kimcom remnants.

there's branches on the choices tree where everyone dies and everything sucks and is bad forever and theres choices to make where kdj gets to make a family and they don't really get to settle down but they can get pretty close to it among the ruins of the apocalypse. through all his testing, yjh finds that these endings are nice but peter out - to get to the end of the apocalypse yjh has to claw his way there inch by painful inch, through betrayal and sacrifice, and he still cant fully get past it

i originally wanted to finagle a yoohankim 3 way swap but i couldn't figure it out. swap aus are a lot easier to work with when they're even numbers, at least to me, so this au features a ysa who is a video game company employee by day and by night she really has become god this time (and also a terrible indie dev). and this is how jungdoksang can still win !!!!

also yjh's coworker from Real Life hsy :) i haven't decided if she's like an employee for the same agency, or if she's someone else in the gaming circles that yjh interacts with sometimes (in my heart theyre in like some sort of discord server together), or something like that but she's around. whatever she does she is twitter cancelled for something. to me.

the only other character swaps are lsk and yma. yma is yjh's estranged sister (in broad strokes there's a vague bad parent situation going on here) (they used to be close until they drifted apart and slowly started hating each other [there is an abyss between them that neither of them can bridge]) (he feels that she betrayed him and threw him under the bus so he left [maybe he gets kicked out]) (she feels that he abandoned her to whatever situation they have going on [he didn't even try to take her with him]) and he has to find her when the apocalypse starts. yjh older sibling to yma gives us a whole different little dynamic to explore from kdj ysk (there's different levels of responsibility and guilt and blame when you're talking siblings that are soooooo interesting to me. sorry that i see any set of siblings and immediately try to figure out how to make them worse)

lsk is kdj's mom who appeared into existence at some point with kdj and they were both just adults. that's weird isn't it. oh well. i guess she can become a transcendent later too for funsies

everyone else stays in the same configuration of Real Person vs Character to me this is a very important aspect

this point has no precedent with the swap, nothing particular that would change to cause this, but it would be so funny if lgy was a little gamer boy who is an avid yjh hater. hates that guy. shows up to competitions to boo him. tunes into yjh's silent no-mic speedrunning streams to mald in chat but yjh +mods don't ban him bc its kinda funny.

anyways the apocalypse starts when yjh and his coworker/fellow gamer hsy are on a train to twitchcon and lgy is also there (also headed to twitchcon) and he brings bugs because he likes them but also to sabotage yjh specifically. its just funny if this happened. you understand

instead of having reader-related skills and abilities, yjh's skills are video game player based! he gets flavor text insight on people, location, and items, things like that. notably, he has the ability to reset, to bring himself back to the beginning of the apocalypse

orv swap proper follows yjh as the Player of the Game (Consumer of the Narrative) who lives hundred of lifetimes in this ruined-world-become-reality "replaying" [read: time looping through] the game to reshape it to save his fave character from self implosion (kdj with no dissociation is very prone to dying. all the time.). to revisit the idea of playing with yjh and the idea of agency, of creation, the only way to get past the apocalypse is to go off the beaten path, to choose options that weren't even there in the game. when in space, at his darkest point, yjh becomes a writer. in this story, at his darkest point, he has to become a creator too

please do not ask me how the epilogues go i dont know how the epilogues go (i don't want to throw yjh back into a train for milennia after he Just went through a thousand resets so i'm sending kdj for that but i havent fully planned how or why)

anyways, hope that helps!!! :)

#orv au #orvswap #i think i will main tag this. just the one tag tho. poorly planned au be upon ye. #orv #orv spoilers #<- for blacklists! #i only realized after creating this au that this is just how p//mmm goes except its videogame themed and hater lgy is there lol #anyways wheres that post that says time loops are about tragedy and theyre about saying i will make this right #and secret third thing time loops are about love #also each individual dynamic for the creater-player-character triangle in this is so interesting to me to explore like #you have the new kdj-yjh one (mostly similar tbh. was the crux of the au after all) which is a fun space to play in #but then you have a brand new kdj-ysa one to work with which is !!!! a writer and her character. a creator and her creation #and then you have ysa-yjh as the creator and her audience of 1!!!!!!! where is yjh that he needs to be saved? how does ysa answer that call #to love to the point of creation.... to tear the world asunder..... to create the worlds most unplayable rpg....... #lets meet again in another life. ysa reaches out toward yjh but cant reach him before she wakes up. cant quite tell him its not his fault #and Dont Even get me Started on yoo sister dynamics ill go insane #because theyre siblings but for a while (and def at the beginning of the story) it hurts to be around each other (its a betrayal #its a pang in your chest its a you were supposed to protect me and you were supposed to love me and i dont even know you anymore) #but also the swap means the 4th wall eats yma and leaves yjh begging for her back ('dont you hate her?' 'shes my little sister' #which is neither agreement nor denial but also both at once) #its ya boi #tango mango #anyways thanks for the ask im very normal about the ask

[akkivee]

‘this bond will last for eternity. i won’t tolerate betrayals or running away.’

——

so speaking of kuukou probably has attachment issues in the form of being too attached, he has this arb line lmao

i revisited the kiyohime legend, and in some iterations of the legend, she specifically turns into a dragon of rage after she tried to cross a river and died to follow someone she loved who promised her he’d stay by her side, but only did so in order to escape her. makes me think this legend really is kuukou’s blueprint lol 🤔

#vee queued to fill the void #my brain has so much going on about kuukou lol if it feels like i’ve been talking in circles you’re right!!!!! #i’m circling around a kuukou topic i have so many bits and pieces to but can’t concretely piece them together so i’m super focused on it lo #like point of interest for this thought are: #kuukou relating to the mc in arb main story because his mentor left without a word #and maybe not so oddly enough but kuukou consoling hitoya to let the anger go #like yeah arb isn’t canon but it’s a story based on what canon has to offer #which means kuukou again relates to people who’ve been left behind because it’s core to his character (despite him not talking about it lol #it’s been a VERY long while since i said kuukou sometimes doesn’t put the money where his mouth is lol #but i wonder if him preaching to hitoya to move on is contradictory to what he’s keeping to himself #mr ‘you’re not allowed to leave me or betray me we are forever’ lol #is bat’s brand of codependency about to fck me up lmao #this looks like a festering sadness and anger towards someone that deeply hurt him by leaving and refuses to go thru it again #lol kinda relatedly i am so amused that kuukou’s fursona might be because he vibed with a story of an angry lady’s lovesickness #kuukou looked at this angry dragon lady and said kin LMAO #c: kuukou👑

[polyamoryprincess]

I get why people are worried about misinformation because of the increase in mental health related TikTok’s and videos, and yeah some people are just neurotypical people looking for clout but like… that isn’t anything new… and then you have people who are neurodivergent making videos to either just make little jokes or share their experiences and symptoms or just trying to relate and make other neurodivergent people feel less alone and yeah maybe make money because in this world you have to monetize every single aspect of yourself Or Else™️ apparently, and people will just be so shitty about it.

Leaving comments about them being narcissistic and not really neurodivergent and how eeevvvvvveeeeerrrrrryyyyyyyyooonnnneeeee is like that too and acting like it’s the same as romanticizing mental illness. I’ve seen so many people on here claiming to be neurodivergent who talk like this and like that’s ableism babes. You’re just being ableist.

People romanticizing mental health struggles and adults not taking their kids seriously because they think it’s “just a fad” did not pop up in the age of tiktok and YouTube, it’s just the same bullshit that’s always happened.

so maybe just leave the random content creator making their stupid little videos alone.

just because people have done that thing where they’ve picked a group they think is deserving of mockery and therefore can be shitty to them without an ounce of guilt doesn’t mean you aren’t being an ableist piece of shit.

Neurodivergent people are allowed to joke and talk about their struggles without painting it as the bleakest existence there ever was and they’re allowed to explain why their brains make it extra hard to do maintenance and chores without being called lazy.

📣📣 You’re just being ableist 📣📣

#I just keep seeing these bitter fucking people who think they’re in the right because they’re also neurodivergent #Like nah you can still be ableist and wrong about this #I saw a clip of a girl talking about how her adhd makes it hard af to do certain things or tasks make her fatigued #All normal things that people with adhd experience #And I saw a lot of “you’re just lazy” comments which I expected but then I saw a bitch go “just so everyone knows I have adhd & have a job” #Like OKAY?????? Truly the pick-mes of mental illness are you kidding me #You are not special and more legitimate because you think these people are cringe or less mentally ill than you #I also see people who fixate on creators who “make it their whole personality” like babes that’s called a brand and again #In this fucked up world that’s what a lot of people have to do to survive that doesn’t mean they’re not actually neurodivergent

[exoexid]

just realized something and even tho it's something very silly i feel so bad about it 😭

#i just.... sometimes i listen to ateez. i do enjoy some of their songs bc the brand of noise music they produce is interesting and fun!!!! #obvsly that doesn't mean that i stan them. no matter how pretty seonghwa and mingi are i just don't i'm not 15 anymore :) #but i know their names and i can identify some of them when they sing/rap (see: mingi jongho and hongjoong. happy bday king btw!!!) #because they have distinguishable voices even with all the vocal processing they add to their songs #however.... when it comes to what i assume is the rest of their vocal line i'm still trying to... kind of sort them out #and that's fine bc i don't listen their music that much. but their voices are similar in tone right? to me they are at least but idk!!!! #well today i just realized that i have never heard them talk. like outside of singing idk their voices. i don't watch their content #no wait i did watch that one video with san and hongjoong trying out british food........ but the point still stands!!!!! #today i was scrolling down on twt and a video of san mingi and yunho appeared and as i listened to it.... something wasn't adding up to me #and it was so weird bc? yeah that's mingi's voice. and ah okay san talks like that. but yunho??????? #he has always reminded me of chanyeol. so much. so as i was listening to him talking my brain kept saying ''wasn't his voice deeper??'' #and yeah it IS deep but it's not pcy deep!!!!!!!! like girl you've been fooling yourself all this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #in my head i keep on giving him pcy's voice which is. insane. and i don't know how i never registered it while listening to their songs #i truly feel so bad about it like it's so weird how i never realized i was doing this unconsciously YUNHO I'M SORRYYY #2 am thoughts are strange but this one has shaken me up so much like girl.... not everything is about your favorite unemployed legends!!!! #dara.t

[indexcard]

obviously this is a grim way to go but in the long term i think it's good if twitter disappears. on social media sites like tumblr and instagram, you just engage with people in your personal circles - and while this is possible on twitter via a locked account and insular communities, ultimately the majority of twitter users are engaging with a quasi-global forum. even on reddit, which tries to be an "everything" site, the majority of users gravitate to subcommunities. whereas twitter became to an extent global public infrastructure, by virtue of its huge userbase, instant brand recognition, and the sheer number of public figures on the platform - which inspired the need for the verification system, the fact-checking addenda, the pivot to news in the "explore" page, etc, because ultimately there IS a degree of responsibility that comes with a social network that big, not to mention the extreme amounts of invisible moderation work needed to keep it regular. obviously though that kind of broadness is completely untenable in a way that makes it deeply attractive to megalomaniacs who think they can do everything, which is why the megalomaniacs who used to own it were happy to lean into the global infrastructure angle, and why the megalomaniacs who currently own it are trying to make it an e-commerce site. but fundamentally global infrastructure should never be privately owned, i mean i believe this on an ethical level but also just on a practical level, the biggest global public infrastructure - the internet - has plenty of government involvement and regulation, and, no matter your feelings on that (i have particular objections to various forms of government intervention in the internet but i'm not a total libertarian about it), it is unwieldy and ultimately unsafe for a site that tries to be as big as the entire internet to operate without some level of regulation. so yeah fuck it we don't need no water let the motherfucker burn etc etc

#this is a take #been thinking a lot about why this X shit was my fucking tipping point for leaving twitter #on some level i think it's funny that they've tanked all brand recognition and SEO #but to the extent that i've bought into capitalism it also makes me miserable #like what the fuck is X. it's a letter fuck off you can't be unique with a fucking letter #but it was also the simultaneous unveiling of this whole e-commerce thing #idk next minute they're going to be introducing X-VR which will be some kind of second life 2.0 shit #where your non-fungible avatar can get laid in the m*taverse #watch me be right about this #anyway the point of this post is to say: it's good to leave twitter actually #and leave it to the m*skheads #so that there is no longer any social media website that doubles as global infrastructure #now that i'm typing this out i realise... search engines exist #but google is subject to some level of regulation no? i mean not nearly enough but LMAO #that's an opinion for another post #the way google has become basically useless bc of advertising... anyway #that's enough depression for one morning

[itsthechocopuff]

kid me, years before learning what ‘cosplay’ was and living in a country that demonised halloween: wow i really wanna dress up as anakin, too bad so sad

twenty-something me, back in my star wars obsession, absently discussing halloween plans with a friend and brainstorming costume ideas: oh.

#lightsaber research tabs opened right next to my Important Thesis Research because its 'making my inner child happy' oclock #turning out my wardrobe in search of what i already own that might be upcycled into anakin's rots outfit was a hilarious journey #of self discovery #and realising how much leather and miscellaneous belts i already have #all i Really need are the brown trousers #but i found something that could work for 6 euros #which means that i can dedicate Real Adult Money into a lightsaber #so if anyone knows of a good brand that does light up ones but also ones which i could actually whack someone with without it falling apart #pls holla at me #personal #hilariously the one thing that i was Certain i had was the cape #the unexpected perks of being a teacher and needing random costumes every other month

[gideonisms]

why did I start my most popular harrow post out by saying "I'm not projecting that hard but"....what was I going for there. past abi answer for your crimes

#i think you all should just have to guess which character i relate to most based on the brand of brain problems i'm having on any given week #i'm actually a lot more fun than harrow (lying) #mainly i relate to harrow on account of i love gideon nav so much i have to lie down on the floor about her regularly #that and she was right about the lobotomy the hill i will die on #oh well and i think alecto is hot. and ianthe. mainly we just like the same women? #her thing for blondes is unfortunate. #update. my first love who still follows me on social media & vice versa just went blonde. i mean.

[loverboybitch]

𓆩♡𓆪 crazy that there are infinities inside me for real.//.

#imjustsittinghere #my friend texted me from berlin right now just like #he said all the outfits hes seen so far are crazy and that id love it there #he said its montreal if montreal was serious lol #literally how i was like maybe ill move tomontreal or berlin like. if that isnt serendipitous #gonna make my way there one day i swear #maybe ill actually make a plan for next year #think i might try to spend some time in malta maybe meet up with some friends in berlin? would be kind of cool for like a week or something #spend a month in malta if i can maybe? #ideally if i could get someone to sublet my room in toronto that would be perfect so i wouldnt waste all my rent money #but if i hold onto my job i can bring my laptop there and work a couple shifts so its not like a complete write off u know? #maybe next fall...thatd be the fun time to go i think anyway n gives me a lot of time to save up #if i can stop myself from spending money on clothes i could fr do it lol #jus gotta focus on making my own #n i just got a brand new dope ass hoodie so im satiated for now #extremly jealous tho my friends are in berlin rn and going to paris for a couple days #going montreal at least tho next weekend with some other friends n going skiing n probably to a cool skate bar #at least thats hype <3 #on my evil villain arc which really just means im trying to be less scared and follow my dreams a little #hope it works : ) #really do love the whole my boss said i look like a villain thing tho im latching onto that heavy #kind of been playing with this creative space/idea of embracing the lil demon imp that lives in me so it just seems very timely and fitting #jsut really identifying with the word imp idk more on that later

[mrs-kelly]

I’m like really surprising myself with how I’m taking the little bits of Fox and Dan.a getting closer romantically, I was worried I’d get really sad and start to push him away but?? I actually rly love them together? I want them to be together, I want to see them fall in love and be happy. And also I wanna think about how Fox and I would be together too ahdkfl it’s just. Interesting ahfkfl

#I know some people who ship like that all the time but for me it’s rly rare!! #in fact this exact situation is brand new for me #oftentimes I don’t end up shipping canon couples together unless I’m in the middle somewhere ahdkfl #but I’m just?? not romantically into Dana at all #I mean I still reserve the right to change my mind about that because trust me I do think she’s cute ahdkfl #it’s just when I notice cute things about her I think about how endearing Fox must find that. not how endearing I find that #unless it’s just internalized homophobia again and I’m appreciating a woman through the lense of a man which. I won’t rule that out #but either way I saw her reach for his hand today after they went through something really really scary #and I was like ‘oh 🥺 that’s so good; pls hold his hand ok… he needs comfort pls 🥺’ #and instead of me feeling sad that I couldn’t be there to comfort him #I was instead glad she could be there #so these are all new feelings for me ahdkfl #ren speaks #🦊.ship #Dana

[dumb-fictionkin-sideblog]

Okay no because I want to kiss Basil so bad, (more in tags as always)

#I WANT TO HOLD HIM IN MY ARMS AND KISS HIS FACE IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK......... #been having a Shameless Gay Moment(tm) since like yesterday #i mean i ALWAYS want to kiss him but I've been wanting to Scream it at Everyone #(which explains the 'Shameless' part) #he is so cute. he is so adorable #i want to have his mouth on my mouth. simple request right #i am in excruciating need of a flower boy on my lap rn #there is a severe lack of Basil around here anyone want to? help with that?? #/hj #wait this is interesting actually. i wouldn't mind kindating a basil. i guess #(i would pretty much take a bullet for that guy but well.) #which (kindating) is weird because im gray aro #or. whatever brand of aro i am i don't really knpw the specifics #but kindating is Just enough that it works for some reason. #(for basil only. because sunny's my only uh. constant kintype. the one that isn't episodic) #(i mean to a certain extend ink isn't either but it's more like. it's always Kinda there and sometimes it just goes 'Oop special Ink time') #(in which case i'm more ink that usual - but even then i'm still feeling very sunny and it doesn't last very long) #(​so i guess sunny is just. a constant. while ink is semi-episodic and phoenix is entirely episodic. that's the best i can explain it) #but yeah Basil OMORI can kiss me on the mouth anytime #sunny #omori kin #gay moment!

[feynavaley]

Consistent clothing sizes: an utopia 😑

#about feyna #feyna speaks #clothing sizes #shopping for a dress for my sister's wedding has been a nightmare so far #I mean shopping is a nightmare in general #but another thing that drives me crazy is that I never know which size I should look/ask for lmao #and it was at physical shops #I have no idea of how people can shop online because nothing makes sense #oh and some brands very helpfully offer their sizes charts only as 'xs' 's' etc and their conversions in italian and uk sizes #which as the pictures above show means nothing #like yeah great your xs is a 38 #but *which* 38?? I still don't know if it's going to fit or not with this info #(tbh I still wouldn't know bc my proportions aren't exactly like the 'regular' ones) #(especially the ones from the first chart) #(the second one is actually closer in terms of proportions) #(which is *another* clue pointing out how made-up these measures are) #(tbh I'd still probably have to try stuff on to see if it fits right) #but ANYWAY #a bit of consistency would be welcome

[sluttyten]

so I took like a 4 hour nap earlier so even though I have to be awake in 4.5 hours from now I’m like not even tired, but also I’m dreading going into work in the morning just because this week has been exhausting and we’re constantly short staffed even though we’ve been getting busier, and I just remembered that I have to help train someone knew tomorrow and I am simply just not feeling it 😭

#but also like the person I’m training is getting there around the time that I might normally go on break #and then the person that’s taking over my position so I can slide into a different one and so they’ll also be taking over training literally #gets there half an hour after the person I’m supposed to be training gets there? #so like that doesn’t make any sense at all #but that does mean I guess that I won’t really hardly have to train this person after all #and I feel like it’s not likely that this person is gonna stay #it seems like every time they hire someone for us to train in the mornings the person either quits or they just start getting schedules mids #or closing instead of opening which like …. we may be a bit clique-y in the mornings but that’s because it’s always the same 4 people and we #have been doing this together for 3 years now (at least 3 of us have been for 3 years the other one has been like a year and a half) but #like obviously it’s gonna be difficult for someone brand new to the company to come in and try to join in something like that right away #but also people don’t want to work mornings anyway especially not when that means getting to work at 5am #I should probably go to sleep rn honestly but i just keep rambling in the tags #I was just queuing some stuff too to post tomorrow and I started rambling in the tags there too #also 😫 I know I should sleep now but I just started getting hungry and I won’t have time to eat tomorrow until I get to go on break #and I’ve had a headache for like 12 hours now that my nap didn’t help so I’m probably about to start my period to make all of these things #even worse (which would explain the impatient attitude I’ve had the last few days as well as me taking a nap every single day this week so #far but I have also been working longer shifts and it’s just been busy and stressful)

[widevibratobitch]

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#look away everyone this is gonna be embarrassing #nothing new really same old shit that's been going on every day for almost 20 years with me but uhh #at this point i dont even wish i were fucking skinny (<-lying). id give anything to just go back to my lowest ed weight #which was by no means skinny. not even thin. but it was thinnER than now. #anyway. nothing makes you hate your own body quite like trying to buy clothes lol #being a huge hypocrite rn cause yes yes fuck fast fashion we know #but being able to go shopping for clothes with your friends to a mainstream brand shop and only feeling *a little* inferior in all aspects #but not ENTIRELY worthless as a woman and a human being in general. my god. it only happened once in my entire life #and i had so much fun that day. and i felt so good and happy and even a little attractive. we love internalised mysogyny <333 #but i miss experiencing the first stirrings of this stupid ass shy little hope that i could actually be considered hot and pretty #for the first time in my fucking life. like hot and pretty RIGHT NOW. not in some undefined future of ✨...if you lost some weight✨ #idk it just feels like it was all for nothing. i ruined every part of my life i fucked up my teeth and my skin and my hair and my metabolism #and my relationship with food. forever lol and it was for nothing because at the end of the day im basically back to the weight i started w/ #its a goddamn joke. like yeah maybe im not losing fistfuls of hair on a daily basis anymore but id honestly rather just go fully bald #if i was allowed to keep the weight off #god i only hope i die in a way that will completely obliterate my body. it is kind of a comfort #no matter what - at least ill always have the train tracks i used to play on as a kid <33 one of my most beloved places in the world fr