#we love tall dark and brooding Austen men

[reyintherain]

No, I don't ship Rey and Kylo because literature told me so. In fact, I grew up reading just a few Western literary works, and you might guess 95% of them were written by men, about men, because in my corner of the world (and seems like many others) men's writing is considered more worthy to be considered 'classic'. I am still yet to read 'Pride and Prejudice', for example, or 'Wuthering Heights' in English (I read a translated version) and many others, which I definitely want to fit in my reading list. And while I did enjoy those few I read or watched (as adaptations, and I'm talking about the female-centered and romance centered ones, since we are talking about romance and Reylo), they aren't my sole reason for liking Kylo or wanting him and Rey work things out. But even if so, if someone just likes Kylo because he's dark and brooding, and if some of their dynamic  parallels or happens to parallel and take inspiration from those narratives, what's wrong about that? It's not like the women in those novels dump their lives at the feet of the men: they reject proposals, go do their own thing, and if both of them (her and him) manage to work it out, only then they end up together happily ever after. Or at least, that's my understanding to the best of my knowledge. And it's not like there is a ban on subverting those tropes or updating them to the modern day either.

To be fair, growing up (and to this day) I liked those kind of stories, with forbidden love, high tension, opposite sides yet complementing each other, unable to be together and/or finding a way to be, but those stories aren't limited to Western gothic fiction of 200 years ago. What those books did offer and perhaps what they revolutionized (or at least some of them -- I’m not talking about the entire list of gothic fiction from Wikipedia) is a female perspective. And sure, I was hooked as soon I could lay my eyes on them. I was craving it so much and had so little of, even before I realized that and was able to put in coherent words why I enjoyed those books so much. (And that's another reason why I find Rey's journey and her relationship with Kylo so interesting.) 'Those books' is actually just a handful I could find, and those that I could were priceless. I remember the first one was Jane Eyre back in my early teen days (I was around 13 or 14 probably). I had to hide both the copy and that I was reading it, because my family didn't want to me read those kind of novels. They were fine with me reading LOTR and Harry Potter, or whatever adventure/sci-fi/fantasy fiction. And not like I was ever asking their permission for what to read, but still. There was violence in other books I was reading, and plenty on TV and VHS, but a novel with romance and a compelling heroine, nothing graphic or explicit, was where to draw the line... Anyways. A friend of mine, well read and thoughtful, managed to get a copy of Jane Eyre and was kind enough to share it with me, and needless to say after that Lord of the Rings didn't cut it. I wanted more. I think I managed to dig out a few in the same vein, but they weren't as great. Those books were super rare in libraries in my town and absent from school curriculum. Later on, I did some introductory literary analysis (in English) in college, and that's how I read Wuthering Heights, and some poetry, and learned about Byronic hero, and 'dark, tall, brooding' thing. I don't recall us referring to it as 'gothic literature' in class, but again, that was far away from the West, and I’m glad we covered it (and thank goodness for my instructors who introduced those stories into the mix, who were women by the way). I'm not saying all this to say that I'm proud of gaps in my education. Neither am I ashamed of them: it's just how things were back in my school and college and my home, and I’ve learned a great deal of material not covered by the Western education, and I'm always more than happy to learn new things, thanks to the Internet and bigger libraries that make it easier.

Sure, what we read and watch informs us in a way, but to say that's the reason Reylo shippers ship Reylo? And to discount what the authors like Bronte sisters or Jane Austen did? Or that what they wrote in the context of their time has no place for interpretation and inspiration in our time? Hell, they were 10 times more feminist that some feminist critics™ of nowadays who either throw Rey away, or demand a relationship with her father instead of a boyfriend, because relationships with men shouldn't be allowed for strong™ female protagonists, lest frail female viewers take notes.

Hell, I didn't even see Pride and Prejudice until last summer when Knights of Rant mentioned it on their podcast, joking about Kylo's next move as Darcy's first proposal, and look what we got. Prior to that, I've been happily shipping Reylo without any P&P connotations, for what, 1.5 years roughly speaking? And for more than romantic or 'he's tall and hot' reasons, or self-insert as Rey, though romance and belonging and a tall hot baddie are fucking fine with me. If anything, I identify way more with Kylo, and just want him to be happy. Both of them.

I don't want to be ever back in those days when someone would try to stop me from reading or watching whatever I want and what I knew I could handle, and suggest what and how I should process. I knew my limits even back then as a teen, and knew what I was comfortable or uncomfortable reading, and knew how to separate fiction from reality and what you could take from one to another. As an adult, clocking in a third decade of my life, I think it's safe to say that hasn't changed, if not improved. If I didn't like that kind of policing at 14, I don't like it at 25+ either.

Those books and narratives were rare enough in my teen days. I got  marginalized and patronized for liking them, and I don't need that now either. Bye, Petri.

#i just listened to the episode in question\\ #and what the fuck\\ #* #personal #don't wanna spam dashes so putting under the cut #(tumblr really isn't great for long writing)