#ultimately. the issue is. i wasn't born rich. like 100%

[shoeshineyboy]

‘;pisuaydoujkl;vvvvdfissssssssssxu8 0af

#i miss my friend lads #i was meant to go see him abroad but now i can't because i live in this shithole hell country that i can't afford to leave #so it's like!!!! i had something to look forward to while we're not rlly able to talk!!! and now i do Not have that!!! #i have a week off that i really wanna cancel instead!!! #yelling into the void that i am terrified things are gonna be irreparable because even though Nothing Bad Happened #i am unfortunately fucking insane and am catastrophising #the good news is i think i can fit botox in with my travel budget #and yes. it is a running theme with me that i consider cosmetic surgery when i'm emotionally distressed #this is insane. i am aware. i also remembered that i need to text my therapist back #ultimately. the issue is. i wasn't born rich. like 100% #i have had to work for everything i've got and that's basically nothing #maybe i am fucking sick of working for everything while other people get everything handed to them #i never watched gravity falls but that 'cheating at life' quote i saw on here earlier. yeah #sometimes i wonder why the fuck i work at all. i'm not working to get good things for myself i'm working to stay alive #and lads i am pretty fucking neutral with regards to that right now so WHAT is the point #shitting fuck #to clarify: that is related to living here right now #it's nearly half a tank of fuel to get to my parents' house #i have to fill up once a week that's almost £400 per MONTH #i fucking hate this country i hate how expensive everything is i hate how no one gives enough of a shit to act #i would LOVE to protest. but you can get arrested for that. and if i don't work i can't pay rent. i need my job #and rich people don't give a shit. we're just NPCs to them #and yes to clarify i live somewhere where peaceful protest is basically illegal :) #they passed that a few months back. police and fucking whatever bill