#uhhh specifically its been so long. that was my intro here

[peantbuttr]

meet  ASTRID NILSSEN,      the  twenty three  year old waitress who moved to dayton three months ago.  she’s known as  playful  &  selfish  in equal parts.  astrid  uses she/her pronouns & identifies as bisexual.

hello all !! i’m tea, and i’m in the discord chat if y’all wanna plot or talk !! astrid and i are excited to be here !! sorry this got a lil long. hopefully it’s okay kjgsfgs

i do have severe rape trigger, so while we’re all adults here, please warn me before mentioning and/or refrain from going into detail about plots involving these things so i can manage my shit, you know? you do you, but i also do me, and i just don’t have enough booze to field a panic attack today fgkdfgsg

otherwise pls hit me up and plot. i’m a shy person but if you want plots, i’ll bust my booty to get em for you : ‘)

                     * /  intro. 💋

name:   astrid nilssen

nicknames:  n/a, but if someone gave her one she’d fucking melt

age, bday:   23, june 7th

zodiac:   gemini 

sexuality:    bisexual, no preference

gender:  female, using she/her pronouns

character traits:  flighty, playful, aggressive, intelligent, creative, ambitious, spoiled, selfish

alignment: chaotic neutral, esfp, slytherin

                      * /  past. 💋

tw verbal abuse, age gap, abortion

born in europe from a loveless marriage between a well-bred british socialite and the young heir of an american corporate dynasty, astrid spent most of her life jumping between boarding schools and holidays foisted off on either set of grandparents

all this served to do was isolate her more: she couldn’t fit in with european girls, and she wasn’t familiar enough with america to fit in there either. the isolation grew.

her grandparents didn’t love her any more than her parents did – old money with old values, they ridiculed her for being not skinny enough, too skinny, not pretty enough, too girlish, too stupid, too smart – nothing she did was enough… nothing she did would ever be enough

their constant demanding and belittling left astrid bitter, tired and constantly trying to do better, so much so that it was exhausting, and she felt like she was tiptoeing over glass

she hardly ever saw her parents, let alone saw them within the same room as one another – and quickly she learned that the easiest way to get positive  attention was to demand it. she grew from acting out in class to shoplifting to getting high during the school days

each time she got a final warning from yet another school, her parents would show up, lavish her in gifts to bribe her into obeisance, and for once astrid would feel loved

it escalated and escalated, however, as astrid started pushing further and further in order to earn what she craved, the attention & validation from her family that drove her to just about every extreme she could think of

so it’s no wonder that astrid, a narcissistic little daredevil, fell in love with the first person that showed her the attention she craved. within six months she was devoted to her partner: a much older, and much more controlling person than she’d ever imagined herself with.

it lost its shine, however, when astrid found out she was pregnant just after turning twenty two. she panicked. she knew somewhere in her that she could not trust her partner to take care of her, and she knew that she could not be, and desperately didn’t want to be, a mother.

so she got an abortion. to hide it from her controlling parents, she bought herself expensive trinkets and sold them at pawn shops, and afterwards, nothing felt the same. 

it opened her eyes -- and, after withdrawing several thousand dollars from her trust fund, she disappeared and left home to find a future in dayton.

                     * /  present. 💋

of course her parents keep tabs on her: she sees familiar faces lurking outside her apartment almost daily. still, no one has harassed her yet, and at the moment that’s all she can hope for.

although starting fresh and without a constant family fortune to guide her, so far she’s found working to be mostly agreeable. she waits tables at a little dive club in dayton, using her girlish charm to wiggle tips out of even the most tight-fingered bastard

she’s still selfish and wild, difficult to control, and interested in little else but her next thrill. hell only accentuated her headstrong unruliness, and this is sure to be a problem for her.

muleheaded and relentless, when she gets her teeth in something and decides she likes it, it’s almost impossible to get her to let go.

still, one can earn a semblance of comfort and friendship with her, as much as any narcissist can offer; she’s endlessly loyal to those who earn it, and although her capacity for true effortless kindness has never been nurtured, she makes a needy, protective and attentive friend

                    * /  specific wanted plots. 💋

an old and familiar friend —  she leads an isolating life, though somehow has found a relic of her tumultuous past. this person knew her as a spoiled little rich girl, and knows her now adjusting to hard work and the realities of life as an average person -  open to any gender

a mentor —  rarely does astrid trust anyone with asking for advice and help in her life. still, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and has been raised in a guilded cage: she has to open up to someone and ask what the fuck she’s supposed to do with her taxes. this person is the most trusted friend and ally she has, and the only person who has so far been allowed to see that she really is still just a scared little girl in need of attention -  open to any gender, though preferably a little older / more experienced in life than she is

                   * /  plot ideas. 💋

sexual

i’m open to literally anything .... the standard fwb, hookups & one night stands 

ppl who want a tiny, angry girl to boss them around idk

u need a wlw eightball? astrid is here to help

u need a third to spice things up with ur girl? astrid is here to help

someone she’s uhhh trading favors with cause she’s got Ambition and one of them is a lot of money of her own

romantic

hedonism is her jam so there’s only a few of these i’m putting down

although yooo imagine the drama if someone objectively better than her did catch her eye.... nice

unrequited crush  —  someone astrid caught feelings for and knows they don’t feel the same. she’s trying to work through it, but this person gives her butterflies, she can’t help it. highly undignified for her. wtf is this feeling, get it away from her -  /lays down reverse card  —  someone who wants some angst in the form of unrequited feelings for a tiny brat. unwise, but it happens

break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored  —  a friend to whom astrid played side-chick while they figured out shit with their girl... then made the mistake of getting attached. it’s going to end terribly, she knows, but why not enjoy it while it lasts?

platonic

other people who work in the service industry like a co-workers / boss (still deciding where she works, so if ur muse needs an employee hmu ok), people she’s met at a bar, people she’s known for years somehow, etc.

yin to yang ; someone who is calm and shy, matching astrid’s small, fight-me, wild child energy and balancing her out. astrid’s not sure what she should do with them, but also can’t stop bothering them

heart-to-heart friend ;  someone who sees through all of astrid bullshit, aggression and drama and sees that even through the dramatic haze of brattiness and selfishness , she’s genuinely fuckin... sad underneath it all. they don’t take her shit and coax honesty out of her

ex roommate ; someone whose couch she crashed on when she first arrived, before she got herself her own place. she probably didn’t really ask before deciding she was staying with them and tbh prob was annoying as hell. so it could be a fun connection

negative ; someone who hates her and has tried to fuck her shit up, someone she’s had a falling out with, someone she was Too Mean To, someone she plays mean pranks on, someone who annoys the shit out of her, oo even an ex could exist.... idk fuck me up fam

#reallife.intro #— * / 𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖉 ♡ ﹙development﹚ #— * / 𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖉 ♡ ﹙character﹚ #IS THIS GOOD ILL NEVER KNOW

[fleetwooded]

talk about music!!!!!! gimme the whole top ten, then i also want 22, 44, and 88!!

THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME STEPH!!! this ended up predictably long-winded, so here is the list, and you can click through to read how i feel about all these songs if you want to. if you’re on mobile, and have to scroll through, i’m so sorry. 

1. why, fleetwood mac2. from the dining table, harry styles3. home, one direction4. animal, troye sivan5. i’m yours, pixie geldof6. ambitions, donkeyboy7. bring it on home to me, sam cooke8. bad (live), U29. american tune, paul simon10. 1950, king princess

22. everywhere, fleetwood mac44. trouble, lindsey buckingham88. border, years & years

ask me about my favourite music of the year! 

1. why, fleetwood mac - this is ZERO PERCENT a surprise, i think i’ve fallen asleep to this song every night for the past three years. it is one of my favourite fleetwood songs even though it’s a real niche one - the final track off mystery to me, which is uhhh not one of their more popular albums. but a) i am very fond of the awkward post-peter green pre-lindsey/stevie albums, b) christine mcvie gets paid DUST by everyone, but she is an incredible songwriter with an incredible voice, and really held the band afloat during that era, and c) this song is so gentle and beautiful and i could never ever get tired of listening to it. i’m obsessed with the extended guitar opening, which keeps you waiting for the piano to kick in for ages and makes you instinctively listen more closely to the guitar throughout the whole song. also the lyric well, my heart will rise up with the morning sun / and the hurt I feel will simply melt away is such a beautiful and clearly expressed sentiment. and when those strings come out from the back of the arrangement just before the last stanza!! ugh i love this song.

2. from the dining table, harry styles - honestly this is only so high up because it is one of the other two songs on my sleep playlist and therefore gets played every day lmao. i will say that this is pretty much the only song of his where the studio version is better than the live version, and therefore the only one i regularly listen to after going to his concert bc i don’t resentfully compare it to the live experience. that harmony on the third maybe someday you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too and the strings in that whole section make the entire song worth it. 

3. home, one direction - lol i always say that my favourite 1d song is walking in the wind, but it’s really this one. i was in a very small, l*arry-free corner of the fandom when this came out, so it never had those associations for me, and i just think it’s a very warm and beautiful song and i DO NOT understand why it was not on the album. i also used to listen to it every morning back when i had to walk to work at 4:30am (in the winter! when it was pitch black and i lived in a not-so-great area!), and it was very very comforting to me, so listening to it always sparks that feeling of comfort, like being wrapped up tight in a warm blanket.

4. animal, troye sivan - the last song on my sleep playlist, and one of the best songs off his new album imo. my favourite kind of song is the kind where you can put on big headphones, get on a bus or train, close your eyes, press play, and just have an experience. it’s unquantifiable! everyone’s mileage will vary! you either feel it, or you don’t! but i really really feel it with this one, especially on the second verse. it’s such a stripped back song, but has this rich sonic landscape that just pulls you in if you let it. 

5. i’m yours, pixie geldof - ugh, this album was such a huge and exciting discovery for me this year. i had no idea she made music until i heard woman go wild on one of nick grimshaw’s insta stories and looked it up, and then i listened to her album over and over and over again for months and developed a massive, useless celebrity crush on her. it’s a little bit derivative, definitely nothing groundbreaking, but so perfectly matched to my sensibilities and so endlessly listenable. i also find it very satisfying to hear something and instantly know it’s going to be your new favourite thing, and then get to prove yourself right. i usually listen to the album all the way through, so i don’t think about the specific songs too much, but if i had to pick a favourite, it would be this one!

6. ambitions, donkeyboy - i’m pretty sure i found this song because it was referenced in a fic lmao? if that is the case, a million thank yous to whoever wrote that, because i never would have come across it otherwise. it’s a collaboration between a 2000s norwegian synthpop band and a girl whose only other resume builder was finishing in seventh place on norwegian idol. but it is a BOP, and a bop with a strong emotional drive, which is the best kind. the lyric I can't tolerate / the feelings that I feel when I feel is another one i spend the whole song waiting for. 

7. bring it on home to me, sam cooke - another song i have been listening to for years and years and never tire of. when my best friend moved out of her parents’ house, she said that the only reason she wanted her own place was so she could sit in her living room and play this song on a turntable. she did play it, often, because she only owned a few records for the longest time, so listening to it always brings me back to curling up on her couch and talking and talking while she made me dinner in her tiny and dark but beautiful home. 

8. bad (live), U2 - god i love this song. i think i have talked about it on here before, so i won’t go on and on, but i LOVE this song. tbh i have never actually listened to the album version of this song, and maybe it is just as good, but i really love live albums - when they can capture the spirit and energy and RISK of a live concert, they feel so electric. anything could go wrong at any moment when music is being played live, or it could go SO right, and the artist and crowd could feed off each other’s energy until the whole venue feels alive, and the music could take on a whole new artistic life. idk what exactly it is, but i feel all that potential in this song. it’s eight glorious minutes of that electricity, and every time you think it’s peaked, it just keeps going and reaches new heights. my favourite is the bit where bono just belts out the words desperation, dislocation, separation, condemnation, isolation, desolation, isolation, let it go like a cry out into the universe. i think about it so often. sometimes i also want to just stand in front of a crowd and yell ISOLATION, DESOLATION. i feel that live music can often feel like a purging, or a cleansing, or a transformation - like singing about these feelings of profound misery or pain or anger with a crowd of people who also feel those feelings can reshape them into something joyful and exultant instead.

9. american tune, paul simon - damn, this really was a melancholic year!! this is another of my go-to comfort songs when i am feeling those lost feelings. i listened to it a lot in the winter, and again this fall, and related a little too much to the bits about being so far away from home. it’s got this sense of deep weariness in its lyrics and structure that i like listening to when i am very tired and want to commiserate. the drums leading up to the and I dreamed I was dying are my favourite musical moment, but my favourite lyric is the ending, with: tomorrow's going to be another working day / and I'm trying to get some rest / that's all I'm trying to get some rest.

10. 1950, king princess - honestly, introducing me and the world to king princess is the best thing harry did all year. first of all, it’s truly remarkable how much cultural power he has - not that this song wouldn’t have been successful without him, but literally every write-up and interview mentions him tweeting the lyrics as a mark of approval that propelled her into the public eye. it’s also just an incredibly well crafted song, and i’m endlessly impressed by her talent. to write and perform a song like this at her age is no small feat, and i’m very glad she’s ended up getting the attention she has. i got to see her live this summer with my sister and a few of our friends, and she was every bit as commanding and magnetic as i would have imagined. 

22. everywhere, fleetwood mac - another all time favourite!! at my work this summer, my boss was a very cool woman who played in a very cool all-female punk band. we got along tremendously, except for that she had NO patience for me constantly playing what she referred to as “mom rock.” this one is the only fleetwood mac song she liked, so i would just play it over and over and we would delight in that shimmery little intro. when i was closing, i would put it on just as the sun went down enough to shine right through the big windows at the front of the store, and it feels good to know that i am going to listen to it years from now and remember that summer and that sun.

44. trouble, lindsey buckingham - my fave song of his, except maybe never going back again. i really like this whole album, but this song is another one i just want to burrow inside because it feels so rich and dense. i feel like i have nothing to say about him that hasn’t already been said - he’s a massively underrated guitarist, and a great songwriter, and i just love listening to him play.

88. border, years & years - a fantastic song off a fantastic album. i’m ngl i was a little disappointed by their sophomore album, so i just kept listening to this one. also brings me back to great memories of seeing them live and the catharsis of yelling my heart, it will start to shine / and I will be alright with a whole crowd of people. live music is magic!!

if anyone made it here, thank you for reading. i love year-in-reviews. it feels good to take stock of a year and try to put all the little moments and periods of time in order and make some sense out of them. i also love music, and it feels good to sit down and listen to my most listened to songs with new ears and try to remember or figure out why i listened to them so often. it’s been a long, hard, tumultuous year, but my relationship with music has really flourished, and stuff like this feels like nurturing that love.

#if anyone went and read all that: you are such a trouper thank you so much #1000-directions

[novelistorange]

Chapter 3

Friday, August 27, Evening

I’m not very fond of carnivals.

It’s not that I don’t like fun. Not to say I don’t like fun or anything. In fact, the very definition of fun includes enjoyment. Therefore, nobody, myself included, can dislike fun, because the definition of “fun” implies enjoyment.

But I digress. The point of that tangent was: I don’t like carnivals.

Naturally, I found myself at one anyways. Of course.

Specifically, I found myself at a booth, staring down a nefarious three by three grid of air-inflated water balloons.

Click.

Shooting an airsoft gun isn’t very hard.

Click. Pop.

At this distance, shooting requires two forms of compensation. The first is, of course, gravity. The second is the natural tendency of the gun. This one was missing the sight. Its trigger wasn’t smooth, and the bullet had rather poor curvature. In short, it was old, battered, and judging from the dust in the slits, long decommissioned. It was a wonderful tool. For making sure nobody actually won anything, that is. Sneaky, sneaky.

I aimed slightly above and to the right of the balloon target.

Click. Pop.

The girl at the booth nodded in approval. “You know, you would do well in Field Sports team. Think about joining.”

“I’ll consider it.”

But I wouldn’t really. To start with, I wasn’t really into guns. Secondly, a shooting gallery at a carnival hardly constitutes a sufficient audition for a serious team. A gallery is only under the most ideal of circumstances, barring the gun, of course, and the distance here can’t be more than ten feet.

Click. Pop.

This is ignoring heart rate, nerves, and other adverse factors. This is why police officers who are listed as crack shots through performance at a range might still end up missing or worse, hitting a civilian.

The principle is simple. Idealized situations are perfect--and fake. Idealization and reality are incongruent and incompatible.

No matter how high you score, the end result is the same. French philosopher Jean Baudrillard put it best. “Like dreams, statistics are a form of wish fulfilment.” Those who claim otherwise are delusional.

Click. Pop.

In an instant, in a flash, the last balloon disintegrated into a few scraps of rubber, falling like leaves to the wooden floorboards.

I tapped the trigger a few more times, to ensure that it was, in fact, empty.

“Hey, try spinning it around your fingers! Like this!” Leo grabbed it and started a twirl. The girl choked and grabbed the empty pistol.

“That’s how they break. And that’s how people get shot.” In place of the pistol, the booth girl handed me a teddy bear, along with a flyer. “Here you go. Thanks so much!”

We kept walking. Leo stopped in front of the Computer Club’s booth. His face turned somber.

“Any news?”

The boy (whom I assumed was the president) shook his head. “Nothing.”

“I see. Thank you.” Leo averted his gaze and resumed walking. Xylia looked as though she wanted to ask him what that was about, but both her and I couldn’t work up the courage. We kept walking.

Leo stopped us in front of an empty booth populated by one silver-haired girl.

“Y-you-!”

I stepped away from the table. That silver hair… that girl was--

That was the girl who’d been in ‘that world.’ I was sure of it. Her, and Leo. But… that was… a delusion, wasn’t it?

So how did I end up hallucinating a girl who happened to exist in real life? Was it really that theory? Or...

She looked up at me from her game. Hitting a button she said, “Sup. You need something, Scarlet?”

“Scarlet?” I asked. The silver-haired girl pointed at me.

“In the red. You. You keep looking at me funny.” Seeing my lack of response, she returned to her game.

“Wait, Yuna.” Leo said, “Let’s do an intro. Uhhh… the Emblem version.”

The silver girl frowned. “Right now? But I like the Elder version better.”

“Fine, you do your Elder one, I’ll do my Emblem. Hand me the broom.” Leo pointed the handle at me. “In the red, that’s Xavier. He’s Villager A. That’s Xylia, his sister. She’s Villager B.”

Villager A and Villager B. Flattering. Xylia and I exchanged a quick glance. Nope. She had no clue what was happening either.

“This is my club,” Leo explained, twirling his broom like a sword. “And I am the leader of this crew of vigilantes! Hailing from the royal house of Ylisse, bearer of the Mark of the Magus, wielder of the Holy Sword, it is I, Sir Azure!”

The girl posed with a mop behind her back. “And I, of the Silver Elf tribe from the frozen steppes of the north, the death scythe that pierces the night sky, Luna vi Nox!”

The two of them stood posing for several seconds. Xylia and I weren’t sure how to react.

“Pretty cool, huh? The two of us are the core… of Mendax High’s Hero Club! I’m the club president. This is my VP.”

They kept posing. Xylia looked at me again, and then slowly began clapping. She looked at me, confused, and just kept clapping, slowly.

They kept posing.

“You can stop now.”

They didn’t stop, though Leo did adjust his broom to point at us. “Wanna join?”

We exchanged more dubious glances. Xylia already knew my answer. I knew hers, just not how she would react.

“No,” I said.

“I, uh… Tennis! I uh, I’m gonna be busy with the tennis team. When you’re done, could you, uh, take me to their booth?”

“Look after the booth, Yuna.” He deflated a bit, then immediately filled himself full of hot air. “Let us be off!” I half expected him to summon a horse and ride off into the sunset.

We continued walking.

“Hey, Leo! Let’s watch the Spielberg Society’s film!”

Xylia pointed to a converted classroom. The flyer read: “Six Nights At Teddy’s: Survive the Animatronic Horror.”

For some reason, that seemed plagiarized. But I couldn’t put my finger down on why. But if Leo agreed with me, he didn’t show it. Or, I couldn’t see it, in any case. I have that problem.

“Whaddya say?”

“I’ll pass.” Yeah, it sounded way too plagiarized for my taste.

“Suit yourself. Meet us here when it’s over.” Phone in hand, he waved me goodbye. Funny. I don’t recall ever giving him my number. I’ll have to scold Xylia for handing out my number to strangers later. Stranger danger, kids.

“Sure.”

They pushed the fake curtains aside and disappeared into the darkness of the makeshift classroom-theatre.

I bought an ice cream cone from some club I didn’t recognize and sat down in a corner. I’m usually averse to excess spending, but it was a dollar and I have a weakness for ice cream. The ice cream stuck in my memory more than the club.

I had a little more than half an hour to kill.

A part of me wanted to go back to the shooting gallery and win more teddy bears. I was certain I would win. But what would I even do with all those bears?

Sell them online. That’s a good idea. I’ll sell them online for extra money. I smiled at the thought.

My eyes wandered at the passerby scene, at the band kids parading about with their instruments, at the shifty members of the Cell Phone Club, at the sports teams waving around bats and sticks. Against my will, my gaze settled on a single figure clad in pale yellow.

The girl… the girl in yellow I’d met earlier this week was speaking to the captain of the lacrosse team. She was smiling, but even someone like me, who has spent the sixteen years of his life forcibly ignoring social cues, could pick up on the strained upturned corners of her lips.

I was going to stand up and leave, but then she caught sight of me. Her eyes lit up, and her finger pointed at me. The captain’s eyes tracked her as she scrambled over to me.

“H-hey.” She stole a glance at him.

“Ko… Ko… Kokona?”

She frowned. “Kokona?

“Is it Kokona or Kokonut? I can’t remember.”

She spend a moment staring in incredulity, as if unable to tell if I was joking. “I’m Ko-to-ne. Jeez…”

“Right. My bad.”

Ko-to-ne’s eyes darted back to the sports captain, who was now eyeing me intently. “Hey, Xavier, I need your help for something. Follow me.”

I don’t like you. I really don’t. But don’t worry, you’re not special in that regard, I dislike everyone. But it seemed like I had no choice in the matter. Such is life.

My feet pressed again the ground. “Lead the way.”

As we strode away from the sports area, the captain’s eyes never broke from our sight.

“So, is there anything you want to see? I’m in the Executive Committee, so I’ve got the layout memorized.”

“I thought you wanted my help for something.”

“Yeah, about that…” Ko-to-ne’s eyes averted. Her lips curled into a different, more sheepish kind of grin. “You are. Helping, that is.”

“I am?”

“I needed an excuse to get away from that guy, and well, here we are.”

“I see.”

The two of us walked with enough silence to balance out the school’s noise.

Finally, she broke it. “So, do you have any hobbies?”

What is this, an awkward first date? I shook my head.

“Any interests you could find a club for?”

I shook my head again.

Kotone stopped and placed her hands on her hips. “What do you even do with your time? Besides look after Xylia, I mean.”

I look for missing drunkard uncles. “I’m not obligated to tell you,” I said, with a shrug.

She planted a hand on her hip and frowned. “You’re not making my job any easier for me, you know.”

Her job? You know, the one where she was supposed to playtend my friend.

I suppose there’s no harm in helping someone’s job. But no further.

“Is this about the other day? Jeez, I’m sorry, okay?”

Of course you are. The next line is for me to accept said apology and move on with my life. Unfortunately for Shakespeare, she reminded me why I hadn’t wanted to in the first place.

“Now that you reminded me, I’m even less inclined to do anything. You’re just mad that I utterly annihilated you at your own game.”

Her face turned bright red. Oh, I’d said that out loud. “Fine then. Let’s go another round then,” she said, pointing to the other students. “Whose deductions are faster?”

“I object. You know these people. It won’t work.”

“I don’t know everything about them. And neither do you. Will that do?”

“Still tempted to say adieu.”

“Hey Xavier. The rhyme patrol called. You’re next on their to-kill list.”

“Finally. I love being number one. So, what do I get if I win?”

Ko-to-ne placed a finger on her chin. “I’ll buy you an ice cream. Mock Trial is selling.” Ah. So that was the name of the club.

“I just had one. Are you trying to turn me into an addict? What if I lose?”

“You,” she pointed an accusatory finger, “get toured around the school. After you make a generous donation to Mock Trial and treat me.”

Well. Depending on my ‘generosity,’ I might go over budget. A grin crawled over my face. I won’t lose. “Sounds good.”

“Try to keep up.” She stepped back and motioned at a boy in a tux, leaned against a wall. “Drumming of the fingers. Anxiousness. The performance is soon. He’s waiting for someone to bring his music to him.”

“He’s a violin player. Powder on the sleeves, probably resin. Unless it’s cocaine.”

“Do you always assume the worst in people?” Kotone rolled her eyes.

“But of course. It doesn’t pay to assume otherwise. Are you done? Shall I take this as the white flag?”

“You wish.” Her attention shifted. “That’s a member of the drama club. His costume is itchy, but he can’t do anything about it because it would break character. He looks uncomfortable with no immediate cause around.”

“That costume was a rush job. Mass produced by hand. Look at the seams. Even, as if done hundreds of times before, but loose. No attention to detail. Are we done yet?”

“I’m just warming up.” She flipped her ponytail. “That girl’s supposed to demonstrate for the cooking club, but she’s too busy with exposition, so that guy’s taking over. He’s looking around for tools; he’s not used to her setup.”

“Wrong. She traded with that boy. Look, her finger’s cut. Probably during a previous demo.”

“Going on the offense, are we?”

I ignored her. “That boy has been looking everywhere for something. Knees and palms are dirty.”

“Panicked expression. Science Olympiad member. Probably lost his notes.”

“That girl is waiting for something from someone. Repeatedly checking her phone. Flyers. She’s holding an empty tray that probably shouldn’t be empty.”

She picked up on my thread. “Guilty look on her face. She thinks it’s her fault they don’t have enough. Look over there. Red Cross was going to give out cupcakes, but messed up the paperwork, so they’ve got balloons instead. You can tell from the looks on everyone’s faces. The Rainbow Association puts up the front of a club, but is actually a front for the school’s marijuana addicts.”

“Maybe you should join.”

She shot me a glare. “Marijuana, not vanilla ice cream.”

“So you admit you’re a vanilla ice cream addict.”

“Is this your resignation? You’re two behind.”

“As if. That basketball player is faking a limp. The leg he puts pressure on changes every so often. Over there. Unlike the other painters, that one doesn’t have paint on her fingers. She can’t paint, or isn’t taking it very seriously. The tennis club isn’t using their normal equipment. They keep rubbing the palms of their hands. Not used to the old, shabby grips.” Old shabby grips, unlike the one on Xylia’s racket. She was always proud of that thing. To be honest, I was, too.

Kotone nodded. “Sharp as always.”

“I’ll be claiming my ice cream now,” I said.

“You didn’t win.”

“Of course I did. The moment you cheated and brought up the Rainbow Club. There’s no way you can tell that they’re a front just by looking at them like that. That defeats the entire purpose of being a front.”

She pouted. “You’re sharper than you look.”

“Are you saying I look like an idiot?”

“Yes.”

Not helping your case, lady. “Besides, how did you know about that club anyways? What, are you a drug addict too? First it was vanilla ice cream. Then it was weed.”

“Stop trying to make me out to be some druggie!”

“Buy me ice cream and we’ll talk!”

“Fine. But I got what I wanted.” Her expression morphed into a grin.

“Huh?”

“Hey, so now that you’ve figured stuff out about all the clubs, is there any one that interests you?”

It was only then that I took a good look at where I was standing, then back at the path I’d unknowingly taken. Down the hall. Into the next building. Up the stairs. Why do I feel like I’ve lost? Maybe it’s because I did. At least I’m getting an ice cream. “Buy me ice cream and I’ll talk.”

“Who’s the ice cream addict now?”

“I dunno. Who’s the weed addict? Or did you get into the Rainbow Club on coc-”

She hit me. “Stop that, you idiot, or I won’t buy you ice cream. And I’ll get one. And eat it in front of you. While laughing.”

That actually sounds kind of uncomfortable. Not to mention difficult to pull off without choking. “You are a terrible person.”

“Pot, meet kettle. Become good friends.” Kotone raised an eyebrow. “Oh wait. Kettle is an antisocial loser.”

“Birds of a feather fly together, they say.” Aren’t you supposed to be guiding me around the school? The whole, new friend to the new students deal?

“To answer your creepy mumbles, yes,” she said, approaching the mock trial booth and pulling out her wallet. “But you annoyed me by accusing me of being a drug dealer. One ice cream, please.”

“Justice… is served!” The girl in a suit handed Kotone a waffle cone and a flyer. With her free hand, Kotone rolled the flyer and shoved it in my face, all while making a big show of eating the ice cream.

“Justice is served, indeed. Vengeance is a dish best served delicious. And soft-serve.”

“You are a terrible person.”

A cheeky smile from her. “I know.”

It was at this time that we were spotted, by the only other acquaintance that I have at this school, albeit not by choice. “The two wayward souls have been spotted! Seriously, didn’t I tell you to wait outside the theatre when it ended?”

Xylia and Leo caught up to us. The two of them were decked, head to toe with various crafts from various clubs. A little part of my mind examined Xylia and hoped that it was all free.

“Don’t worry. Most of it was,” she answered.

The four of us sat down at a nearby bench. It was past 9, now. Only an hour and a half left.

“Hey, let’s go watch the Orchestra!”

At this mention, Kotone sat up. “Oh! I totally forgot! I have to perform!” As she got up, Xylia followed her.

“You guys aren’t coming?” she asked.

Leo shook his head. “Nah. You guys have fun.”

Don’t assume that I dislike fun. Because I don’t. I just happen to have a radically different idea as to what fun is.

A short while after they turned the corner, Leo got up. “Hey, let’s just wander around a bit.”

Wandering with no destination in mind. Sure, why not. I was tired, but in a slightly better mood now that Ice Cream Girl was gone.

I followed Leo down a hallway. He chattered about some of the other clubs on campus but it was about that time when I had become so exhausted that I could no longer hear, much less listen.

Social interaction is draining.

I felt a little dizzy. I motioned him to stop and leaned against a wall.

My eyes closed. The noise silenced.

When I opened my eyes, Leo stood, his back also pressed against the wall.

“So it was you.”

#simulacrumnovel