#to take the stress off of main . u don't even have to tell anyone abt it or it could be mutuals only etc

[cpunkhobie]

i'm sorry

this isn't about you

^ and other things left unsaid

neglected au is by the fabulous @nerves-nebula and HAS been eating away at my brain for the past week. I think before this they had just had an argument where Donnie went outside to cool down and - you get the rest.

these two posts in particular were what I was thinking of while drawing this so some generally needed contexts: og inspo - comic (slur + ableism + sa tw for comic)

I don't imagine this was abt that moment in particular but more abt ALL those times that Leo just couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut . This takes place p early on to when they first left the sewers. So ya <3

#jonah with a pen #rise tag #teenage mutant neglected turtles #tm(n)t #tm(n)t fanart #tmnt au #tm.n.t #NOT ME FORGETTING TO POST THIS . #also this next part is only for nerve's eyes but if you ever feel overwhelmed feel free to take a break or alternatively make a side account #to take the stress off of main . u don't even have to tell anyone abt it or it could be mutuals only etc #and never feel obligated to answer every ask or vent or question or traumadump . I'm not trying to dictate how you use your blog or interact #but even if you're used to a topic willingly or not that doesnt mean that listening to so many ppls experiences doesn't get stressful so #remember to pay attention to ur own feelings and know where to put your foot down. easier said than done etc but yknow #good to be reminded sometimes #sorry for just dumping all that in the gas btw haha #*tags

[jiminspromise-remade]

I think you shouldn't go to the park. Idk it's clear they didn't bother to even ask you and are just going along. I wouldn't have done it because at least some self respect, don't care when they don't care about you

idk anymore i really dont. i keep thinking its my fault and that i brought this upon myself so i feel like i dont have the right to feel the way i am rn. so if anyone rly wants to know the full story with all the details, ill leave it under the cut bc im just really beating myself up over it now

ok, first off, so that things arent too confusing, i’ll be referring to everyone as letters. so i’m in a group chat with M and A, making it 3 of us in the group total. 

i dont remember who brought up what, but someone suggested we go to the mall amusement park and waterpark. and then A goes “i know someone i can buy tickets off for real cheap” and M says yeah buy it!!! and i go “oh wow amusement park. i dont rly like swimming though.” like i really dont remember explicitly letting them know that i want to go or anything, and then suddenly a few hrs later A tells the group chat “can u guys transfer the money soon” and i was like ummmmm excuse me? what? how much??? and A tells me its $40 for both water park and amusement park. and im like…. ok holy shit what the fuck…. i dont have money,, esp bc its december and christmas is coming so i’m buying gifts for people and its just im so stressed at this point because M and i agreed to split on A’s gift which is a polaroid and so i ask my older sister to buy it from work bc she gets a discount. more money problems rolls around bc it was my mom’s birthday earlier this month and my sister got her a fenti foundation and my mom only asked for ONE foundation brush and my sister goes off to buy a WHOLE SET that my mom wont even use so!!! i had to pay my sister back WAy more money that rly needed bc my family decided to pitch in to buy a little smth for my mom. i ended up paying my sister back $110 for the polaroid and my moms gift. putting more stress into my shitty financial situation, my family wanted to do a secret santa and someone suggested we have the MINIMUM price for a gift to be $50. liek  > ?? /???? min $50 ?????? like mind u im trying to find a job rn i really am but its hard to find one bc mnobody fucking likes uni students but anyways im literally going off in a tangent. back to the main point.

SO i tell A that im tight on money and idk if i can pay her back right away. i can tell she got frustrated w me because she already bought the tickets and i say im sorry but she tells me i can pay her back when i can so im like ok thanks but im not even gonna go swimming?? so A tells me i only have to pay her $20 which is fine but im rly that Broke Bitch so i tell her i’ll pay her in january. she says thats fine. this conversation took place on dec 8th. 

fast forward to dec 14, the day of my last exam. i go to the train station to catch a train to uni and i hear someone call my name. my friend E is sitting at the end of the waiting shed by the window. i end up taking the train with him since we go to the same uni. note that he’s also friends with M and A. anyways, on the train he asks me, “are you going on saturday?” and i ask him “saturday? when?” and he tells me”the 23rd?? we’re going to the mall” and im just standing there like “o what??? when was this decided??” and E tells me “idk lmao A just invited me” and i was like…. ooookay…… i asked the group chat with A and M multiple times before this when we were gonna go but i was never given an answer. nobody told me anything. so in that situation i just tell E that im probably going bc A already offered the tickets in the group chat so i guess im going?? right??? but later that day i start doubting myself. why couldnt they tell me that we were going on the 23rd?? they had time to contact E, who isnt even in the group chat, and i knew nothing. fast forward again to i think the next day, my sister brings home a box of chocolates shes selling as a fundraiser for the band trip. so as the good sister i am, i advertise her chocolate on snapchat. a friend that i met through M messages me (we’ll call her B), asking if she can buy some. and i say yeah u can!! and then i ask her when i can give it to her and she goes “on saturday? duh??” and im like… “oh…. saturday?? like amusement park saturday??” and she says “yeah ur going right??” and i tell her “um idk A and M never told me a date so i guess???” so now thats 2 people that they contacted outside of the group chat. i had to find out like some dumbass from E and B when the actual date would be. so now here we are to the present week, tomorrow being the actual day of the plans. i had to ask the group chat earlier this week “so we’re going to the mall on saturday??” and A goes “oh right yeah!!!! we are” and i was like,, oh. ok. 

and ever since jjong’s death, my emotional stress jst….built up even more and i began to overthink more and i began distancing myself even more than before and A and M felt that. i let them know abt my mental state and A says “yeah we noticed so we just gave u some space” like!! at LEAST let me kno ur giving me space!! bc this whole time i kept thinking that they dont wanna fucking talk to me bc im some dramatic bitch.

thts it. thanks for reading