#title is from ct salazar's poem ending with abraham's suffering<3

[asharaks]

the ideal shape of faith

400 words I am my Father's child.

(Your) name is Tiavyn.

(Their) name was Tiavyn.

Once, (my) name was Slayer, was Chosen, was Child of Bhaal. For a brief, bright moment, (his) name was Death, (her) body empty save for Him, (its) mind clear save for Him, (the) heart hollow save for Him.

(I) am (my) Father's child. Body and blood, marrow and muscle, His holy weapon walking the earth, I-Chosen carry His heart in (my) heart and she-Slayer spreads blood in His name and he-Saint worships Him redhanded and alive alive alive dawn rushing bright towards (ususus) spread (your) arms wide open (our) heart and take His communion know His love His faith His name His name His name.

In His name, (I) kill. In His name, (you), holy killer, beloved martyr, Saint of the Blooded Throne, kill and eat and kill again. Open bodies one by one, and let each death bring (me) a little closer to (you). To Him.

He loves (you). (I), His daughter, calling out for a Father's affection. (We), His son, born of His ribs. (They), His child, youngest of the Three, so thirsty for blood and for love.

And You: You, who work so hard to be seen; You, who raise Your redred hands in supplication and beg for notice, beg for rapture, beg for love. You, who change Your shape change Your scars change Your mind, make Yourself a vessel over and over, empty empty empty, His love draining from You finite and sanguine.

You, who die in His name. Bled out sin and sinew, another willing-taken sacrifice, a starving dog lead gladly to the butcher's block for the promise of love. Of meat.

(My) sibling, (my) sisterniece, (my) martyr-mirror You take (our) face and (our) voice and You wear them better than (I) ever could, did You feel (his) broken heart when you wore (our) chest? Do You love the way (she) loves or is he nothing to You the way he is everything to

You remember. You remember. You remember.

You remember what I am denied. I am empty drained hollowedoutscrapedclean and You are the perfectvessel willingwantingpraying and I grieve you (grieve me)

I feel what You are denied. You are griefless (un)lost (un)holy and You are (un)wanted, starvation a family trait, and You hate me (love me)

and our Father bleeds us both and (I am) (You are)

denied.

#writing #tiavyn #not cross-posting this bc i know it will flop<3 #title is from ct salazar's poem ending with abraham's suffering<3 #bg3 #the dark urge #orin the red #(tia voice) i love my sibling and i am going to kill us both about it:)