#till i get my shit together hours later and able to pinpoint exactly why they're or in this case she's wrong fuck this

[thisisaname-whatahappyname]

i want to be meaner to my mom but scared that i might make a habbit of it to the point of that spilling onto other people, so let's vent, near everytime i say something that challenges her belief that she's right about everything she always goes on about how i love debating her and how im always attacking her and saying she's wrong about everything, this bitch litterally fucking just told her child "you're always the villain to me" like i dont have a mountain of evidence saying that she's the one who's fucked up

look we disagree on things a lot, i disagree with her a lot, she seems to take everytime i point out she could be wrong (the first few times her response was "it's like your my mom mano po" ("mana po" is something people do to their elders) and "go work on your self first" in response to my room and my sleep schedule, like. y'know me sleeping late and being messy gives her yhe excuse to be a bad person.) now it's "you just love debating me don't you" "you always think im wrong about everything" and now recently "youre always the villain in my story" ("lagi kang kontrabida saking buhay")

because yeah sure im the villain, im the person who bullied ("idiot, lunatic, insane, you made yourself ugly, you look insane, you look like a lunatic") verbally abused (read the previous sentences, and what comes after this), hit (four times to be exact, also threathened to beat me up if i ever did that again, and later on said she was gonna smack me if i ever tried it again later on too) and told their kid they're insane and that tgey didn't care about anyone except themselves for botching their haircut

like this isn't my first time saying this within these last few days, it still holds true though, her words, the villain sentence specifically, should be directed at herself if anything, like girlie are you describing your own actions or

damn these last few days have been shit, like most days that have my parents in them aren't good, but these last few days have been horrendous, wonder if i should kill myself lol, atleast id have a botched haircut at the funeral, where a lot of the people whod know me would see, might botch it even more before doing it, just out of spite, it's just like id face the abuse that would com after anyways, i would be dead. also that whole haircut and these few days after said haircut have confirmed my theory that my parents treat me nicer when im pretty so! that's another thing! man!

like girlie really did just say her kid was the villain in her life despite being the one to hit her kid four times over a botched haircut, and verbally and physically abuse said kid for days afterwards (the verbal abuse was worse than what id written, basically just wrote a summary for the most part, just don't feel like translating it) i mean girlie really?

edit: also if you read the tags i almost forgot about that last bit, memory repression works hard ig. wonder how much shit i forgot that i never remembered.

also another edit: i think it's interesting how she used to so "oh so im the villain now" in response to me whenever i brought up her doing something bad, like that used to be a common occurance a few months near a year ago, but now she says "you're like a villain to me" after, reminding her she can be wrong, and botching my haircut. i mean. girlie at least isn't blatantly ripping off mother gothel now so that's fun.

#girlie litterally called her kid the villain despite being the one who bullied #(said idiot. lunatic #insane #you made yourself ugly you look insane #you look like a lunatic.) #verbally abused (read the previous sentences and what comes after this) hit #(four times to be exact #also threathened to beat me up if ever did that again and later on said she was gonna smack me if i ever tried it again later on too) #and told their kid they're insane andthat tgey didn't care about anyone except themselves for botching their haircut #girlie litterally called her kid the villain #it think it's interesting how fell back on using social media slang as a coping mechanism here because sm incites dophamine most times #anyways vent parents i mean wow really let's just fucking #go and jump off guess. i #am exhausted and quite frankly just want to sleep and never fucking wake up again an overdose might be nice idk. #me dying might be the only way to convince her that she's the one that's fucked actually. #or maybe she might fucking say im spoiled dramatic and overemotional in which case idc idc id be too dead too by then anyways #look explaining shit won't work ive already tried that and whenever get into fights with my parents #words and memories just fucking bail on me under enough stress #till i get my shit together hours later and able to pinpoint exactly why they're or in this case she's wrong fuck this #she also told me that ''since im so mature now to now have to rely on her anymore'' and said she wont attend or give me shit anymore #as part of said haircut thing #basically told me she wont be a parent to me anymore because of something that started from a botched haircut #but still doesn't think that actually She may be the villain here #vent #parents