#though weirdly enough I DON'T have a pizza mod

[6ad6ro]

the thing that will always bother me about the soulslike games usually lacking difficulty or accessibility settings? can be summed up with a relatively simple metaphor. let's take pizza. somethin a good number of people can enjoy. now let's pretend that same pizza was first popularly topped with, idk, ghost peppers. there are definitely a small number of very specific people who would enjoy that. possibly just because it was a brutal challenge to eat. there's nothing wrong with liking that sort of thing.

now imagine if we lived in a world where you weren't "allowed" to make pizza without the painful peppers. clearly pizza is still good without the peppers. but if you dare to remove them, the pepper lovers freak out, even though you're only removing the peppers for yourself and not affecting them in any way. and the stores, god knows why, don't wanna deviate from the original recipe either. so suddenly the wonderful world of pizza is needlessly restricted to only being eaten by those with intense pain tolerance and looking for an extreme challenge. even though pizza without hell peppers would be preferred by wayyy more people.

we live in a world where this sort of bullshit actually existed for the longest time. but then, finally, things started swinging in the other direction. elden ring coming out was probably the biggest example of this. it was made by the same person who had created the original "pizza recipe", but improved in ways that made it infinitely more enjoyable to the average person. and it took nothing away from the souls tryhards. it's by far the most popular "pizza" that has ever existed. after all this time, the souls fandom had actually become a tolerable (sometimes even enjoyable) place.

so why am i talking about this still, when my point has already been proven? because lies of p just came out. and it actually had an easy mode designed for it, with the code still left in the game, which i am currently playing through and LOVING. it's still hard, but it actually feels more reasonable and fun (think of a really good 3d castlevania). like it weirdly "fixes" a good number of the balance issues even the tryhards complain about. almost as if (go figure) they first designed the game like this, but then upped the damage to 200% because "it wasn't hard enough"? it's super fucked up tho, because i have to use a mod to actually activate it. because the devs were too afraid of said backlash from that loud minority of tryhards to just... put the easy mode setting as an option in the game by default. the whole thing is SO ABSURDLY STUPID. and i guess i don't want things to swing back in the elitism direction. i don't want sweaty losers who only care about themselves, with fragile egos they pathetically tie to "being gud", continuing to negatively influence my fun hobby. especially when everyone could have what they want so easily. especially when having an easy mode would also ensure that the normal hard mode wouldn't have to continue being nerfed, which it so obviously what's been happening. "regular pizza" is so fuckin good, and there's zero logical reason we can't have both types of pizza. it's really obvious and simple.

#long

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Fallout of Darkness Shitposting, Food Edition

Codsworth: [waking Victor up the day after he got out of the vault] Good morning! I’ve made you some tea, sir!

Victor: [yawning, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes] Oh, thanks, Codswor -- [blinking] Wait. We didn’t find any tea bags on our search yesterday.

Codsworth: . . .I’ve boiled you some leaves, sir!

Victor:

---

[shortly thereafter, looking at the drink Codsworth has made]

Codsworth: I’ve scanned it thoroughly, sir -- it’s perfectly safe.

Victor: [staring into the mug] I trust you, it’s just. . .it’s bright blue.

Codsworth: . . .it’s your favorite color, sir.

Victor: . . . [picks up mug] Touche.

---

Alice: [sniffing the air as they wander the town around the now-cleared-out Fort Hagen] All right, we definitely need to investigate that blood bank over there.

Victor: Oh? Why?

Alice: Because it smells like a full-on smorgasbord to me.

Victor: [slightly puzzled] It is a blood bank.

Alice: After 200 years?

Victor: . . .we should check out the blood bank.

---

Victor: [holding up a bottle of Nuka-Cola Quantum with an extremely fake grin] Try brand-new Nuka-Cola Quantum! Not only is it twice the calories, twice the carbohydrates, twice the caffeine, and twice the taste -- it will also somehow give you electric blue glowing piss even after two centuries have passed!

Preston: [in the background] WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THE OUTHOUSE?!

---

Nuka-World Raider: Hey, Overboss, apparently you’re good at fixin’ stuff? Can you do something about the soda mixers?

Victor: What’s wrong with the mixers?

Nuka-World Raider: Whenever you dump soda into them, the stuff that comes out is all weird and bubbly and stings your mouth. Ain’t sure what the hell --

Victor: YOU GUYS HAVE CARBONATED SODA HERE?! [sprints off to find a mixer]

Nuka-World Raider: . . .

Gage: [pinching the bridge of his nose] Maybe it’ll keep him from complaining for five minutes. . .

---

[later, after Victor has confirmed that yes, the mixers can produce carbonated drinks]

Alice: [sipping blood from an old Nuka-Cola bottle, burps loudly]

Victor:

Victor: . . .did you use one of the mixer machines to carbonate some blood?

Alice: . . .maybe.

---

Victor: [cuts a slice off a loaf of bread]

Victor: [carefully simmers up a tato sauce and spreads it on said bread]

Victor: [sprinkles cheese over the sauce and bakes the whole thing over a fire]

Victor: [gesturing to his meal] Behold, the rebirth of the Rhode Island pizza strip.

Alice: We’re in Massachusetts.

Victor: Shush and let me enjoy my terrible pizza.

---

Piper: [after donating a bit of blood for Alice] Okay, so I gotta ask -- how come I don’t see you ever drink from feral ghouls or the like? You can’t get sick from radiation, right?

Alice: No, but I can pass that radiation on to others if I’m not careful. And besides -- you know how your entire mouth burns for a while after you eat something spicy?

Piper: [making a face] Like when Deacon got me to try the “special noodles?” Yeah, ugh.

Alice: Imagine that except it’s kind of in your entire body and you can feel it crackling every time you move.

Piper: Yeesh. . .don’t tell Nat, she’ll make you drink one just to see if she can spot that.

---

Alice: [looking around the Appletree Bakery Orchard] I do have to say -- even with the way a lot of the plant life has struggled to come back, the Commonwealth has a surprisingly variety of food. What do you suppose is the secret?

Victor: Oh, easy -- the person on the controls for some reason really, really likes food mods.

Me: Hey!

---

#fallout of darkness #fallout 4 #mods #food and drink #I say 'hey' but his last observation is entirely accurate #I do love food mods #I just like my characters to have options with what they eat! #and Appletree Bakery is particularly good as it's got all sorts of fun stuff #fishing fruit popcorn fine dining #the outhouse is also part of a mod #I use both the CWSS mod for showers and toilets #and Advanced Needs 2 to give me a reason to use them #though weirdly enough I DON'T have a pizza mod #I haven't yet really found one I like #also I'm allowed to make the RI pizza joke because I am from RI #terrible pizza strips that are basically just sauce cheese and bread #totally a thing here #queued