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#things i think about at 2am
coldshrugs · 20 days
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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vierapril day 10: breath
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squaredbean · 1 month
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Do you think. That once Fit gets back and Pac is more than overjoyed to see him, that Pac just has to say it. He doesn’t care if Fit isn’t ready to hear it; if Pac doesn’t tell him that he loves him and Fit disappears again he’ll never be able to live with himself knowing that Fit never heard those words come out of his mouth in any language. Do you think he’s sobbing as he says it, switching almost incomprehensibly through languages but his tone and body language is clear to Fit because he has the exact same thing on his mind. They understand each other and they’re both just crying but it’s so clear and they feel awful and terrible but so, so loved. And Fit tries to tell Pac about all the horrors he faced from Madagio and how fucked up he is and Pac just doesn’t care because He Loves Him No Matter What. Pac feels for him because he knows part of what he’s been through and he knows that both of them have done fucked up shit But He Loves Him Anyway.
I’m pushing them together like two beat up action figures
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grxceful-ly · 11 months
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peter bringing mayday with him to do spider stuff because yeah, he had things to live for before--but now he has a child and he is going to raise this child and be there for her and maybe if she’s there, strapped to his chest, he’ll be more careful. he’ll consider his life almost as precious as hers. maybe bringing mayday to work is a precaution. 
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trick-of-the-troubles · 2 months
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this world that has promised so much has delivered so little
because the people who made this world did not make it with us in mind
and the people who had the power to change the flawed system have instead chosen again and again to do what's easy rather than what's right
and it's hard living in a world that didn't think of you in the first place
and you deserve better than to be an afterthought
and i love you
and i'm sorry
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 23 hours
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karingu · 7 months
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Inuyasha: *is shy to say I love you*
also Inuyasha: Kagome was born for the purpose of meeting me… and I for her.
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hotasfahrenheit · 4 months
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[SHINee - View] May 18, 2015
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lynzishell · 2 months
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✨Atlas Stephens - Character Sheet✨
TYSM for the tag @onestormeynight This was so fun! 🫶🏻
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Personal
Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty
Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable
Class or Caste: upper/ middle / working / unsure / other
Education: qualified [computer science degree from Foxbury Institute] / unqualified / studying / other
Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet [I mean technically ig, but nothing serious, just some illegal substances at clubs n stuff like that] / yes, but charges were dismissed
Family
Children: had a child or children / has no children [but he's the best uncle there ever was] / wants children
Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings/ sibling(s) is deceased
Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable
Traits and Tendencies
extroverted / introverted / in between
disorganized / organized / in between
close minded / open-minded / in between
calm / anxious / in between
disagreeable / agreeable / in between
cautious/ reckless / in between
patient / impatient / in between
outspoken / reserved / in between
leader / follower / in between
empathetic / vicious bastard / in between
optimistic / pessimistic / in between
traditional / modern / in between
hard-working / lazy / in between
cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown
loyal / disloyal / unknown
faithful / unfaithful / unknown
Beliefs
Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic
Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious [let's just say his past destroyed any chance of that]
Philosophical: yes / no
Sexuality and Romantic Inclination
Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual
Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless
Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naïve and clueless / romance suspicious
Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious
Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all
Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all
Abilities
Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none
Literacy Skills: excellent/ good / moderate / poor / none
Artistic Skills: excellent / good/ moderate / poor / none
Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor/ none
Habits
Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic
Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker
Recreational Drugs: never / quit / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict
Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess
Unhealthy Food: never [he's just really not a fan of sweets and stuff tbh] / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater
Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic
Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler
I have no idea who to tag cos I haven't been around as much lately and I don't know who's already done this... so yeah... if you wanna do it, then do it and say I tagged you... and then like, tag me back cos I kinda wanna do this for Ash too... so, really, you'd be doing me a favor 😉🤭💖
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jemmo · 1 year
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ive been thinking a lot about age in the eighth sense, in terms of age gap and the roles of hyung and sunbae and dongsaeng and the behaviours they entail, and the label of the country mouse, and how, with the events of the end of ep 6, they are paralleling jihyun against jaewon’s younger brother with the accident and how I think there’s a crux at the heart of this that is jaewon needing to see jihyun as not his younger brother. and i get that’s weird and kinda yucky considering the nature of the relationship between the two, it’d be very weird if jaewon simply thought of jihyun as a stand in for his familial little brother, but I don’t think it’s like that, it’s not as simple as that.
I think it’s very clear jaewon misses his little brother, plain and simple. and perhaps that extends into missing having a little brother figure in his life, and when I say little brother, I don’t mean familial. that’s why that initial ‘dongsaeng’ messed with our heads in the first place, bc it can be familial and not, so here, and from now on, I mean not. this is not weird incest territory, don’t worry. I think he misses having someone younger, someone to look after. he misses being an older brother. maybe that’s why he so quickly befriends jihyun. attraction aside, maybe he wants someone to care for, and a freshman, a country mouse that knows nothing of the city, being his friend, teaching him city life and uni life, that’s the kind of thing you’d do with a younger brother, and that’s an experience he’s missed. and I think a sense of responsibility also plays into this, bc that’s probably something he feels he lacks after losing his brother. he was supposed to be responsible, supposed to look after him but he couldn’t, and so now he wants to feel like he can be that responsible hyung, he can look after someone, not so much to redeem himself or prove something, but more for himself, to fill an emptiness by fulfilling that role. idk, I don’t think this is something he does consciously, but his body language, his constant touching and how it’s guiding and comforting, at first I thought it was just a desire to touch and filtered through this acceptable closeness between men, especially from someone older. but now i think there is a sense of actual brotherly-ness to it, which I think adds to this confusing want to be close jaewon has that to some degree comes from jihyun filling that younger brother space jaewon has had empty for so long. again, i think people are tentative to approach this topic bc it does get into weird territory, but I think this whole thing is more… how do I say… it’s like how people say you get with someone like your parents, like how often is the phrase “she reminds me of your mom” said between a father and son in movies and tv. it’s not that you want to date your mom, it’s more that you like and value traits that are similar, they bring you comfort bc you’ve literally been raised to be comfortable around someone like that. it’s not incestuous. and I think a similar thing is happening here, even though I don’t think it’s a driving force, I think it’s part of it. which is important, and I like, bc of how this theme progresses.
as the show continues, we see jaewon’s mask slip more and more, and we see jihyun become bolder, which are two important factors that lead into what I think jaewon ultimately needs to realize. jihyun is not his little brother, and he needs to separate the two. there is this obvious path leading from ep 6 where jaewon thinks jihyun’s accident is his little brother all over again and he regresses and distances himself and blames himself, but what he needs to see is that the accident is different. he needs separation. and that comes in the form of jihyun, jihyun becoming bolder and more confident and forthcoming and, most importantly, responsible. at the end of the day, he is not a child, and in that ocean he is responsible for himself just as much, if not more, than jaewon is. he goes into that ocean knowing he’s not the best swimmer and still does it. is he swept up by jaewon and emotions and the kind of heightened vibe of the day? yes. but is it still his decision? yes, and it’s a bit reckless. he can say no to jaewon when he offers to surf and catch the big waves instead of the safety of the shallows where they were before. you’ve seen him bite back and sass and poke and joke with jaewon before, he is not a cowering little mouse (more on that in a sec), and he still agrees, so he has to take responsibility. maybe jaewon was responsible for his little brother but he’s not responsible for jihyun, an adult with their own mind. and jaewon seeing that, that he can’t blame himself when he’s not responsible for anyone here, might just be the thing that helps him get out of that mindset.
and it’s not like jihyun is adverse to this. If anything, I think in this next ep we will hear jihyun blame himself, accept the fact that what he did was maybe a bit stupid and he should’ve thought first. bc we see time and time again jihyun not wanting to be that innocent, naive country mouse. just think about how much he refutes it time and time again, like in that library scene. he doesn’t want to be that person. that’s why he came to the city. It’s why he’s trying new things and being brave, he wants to grow up and be responsible. and I love that this becomes almost a reversal of the classic hyung and dongsaeng roles in later eps, as jihyun becomes more confident while jaewon regresses into himself. jaewon shows his weaker side and jihyun, the younger, looks after him instead. look at ep 6, how he initiates both conversation and physical contact, something we saw jaewon do in earlier eps. I love it both in terms of this theme but also just for romance sake. as an extension of these roles, you expect the older to make the moves and such, but I love that there are equal moments in this show that jaewon gets to be the one getting hit on, be it the scene where jihyun teaches him to draw or calls him cute when he’s drunk. you’d so typically expect to see a hyung doing those things to someone younger, but it shows equality in their relationship that counters those stereotypes in the simple and subtlest ways and I adore it.
this show has a strong theme overall of what’s expected vs how people actually are, be it from drinking etiquette to romance, but just like in that first scene with jihyun’s bar owner, one thing may be expected, but what people actually want, what makes people comfortable, can be something else. and by jihyun so simply not conforming to the country mouse persona initially put on him in such simple but outright ways, he acts as such a great challenge to jaewon, who wears his mask of expectation so frequently. it may be what’s expected, but have you ever considered that it’s not what people actually want? that they might actually want the real you, and all the so-called imperfection of it? bc when does that mask stop being a burden and start being a safety blanket, that shields you from the pain of actually being hurt in a genuine relationship, that hurts more than the pain of pretending. jaewon says over and over again that he’s tired of wearing the mask, but the mask is, ultimately, self inflicted, and as much as you can blame society and parents for expecting things from him, there’s a point when you become an adult where you get to decide for yourself who you are. again, he said it himself, just as he was afraid to leave the safety of the military, he’s afraid to leave the safety of uni, the bubble where what’s expected is clearly defined and can be performed. after that, the rules aren’t as clear. so much more of it depends on you. it’s the process of becoming an adult, of growing up. it’s a process jihyun is on, but jaewon, to be at least, seems further behind in. maybe bc he never got the chance at a fresh start like jihyun and is trapped by preconceived notions the people around him have of him by knowing him for years. maybe it’s bc of the loss of his little brother, and feeling trapped in that time, and a fear of growing up out of that person he was when his brother was there. maybe it’s bc he still feels trapped under his parents thumb, bc despite becoming an adult, you can never really be free of your parents.
I said this before, but it’s just like how they both said they’re jealous of each other, but what they’re jealous of is a preconceived notion of youth and age, not-knowing and knowing, naivety and experience, when again they don’t match these stereotypes. jihyun is not naive, and jaewon doesn’t know everything. Life experience is not all it’s cracked up to be bc it can’t all be good, but knowing nothing isn’t the bliss ignorance is often expressed to be. I’ve rambled on and waxed pathetically poetic long enough about these two to be embarrassing, but as a show that actually involves an age gap, and neither hides away from it nor exploits it for it’s played up romantic tropes, I adore that they let this factor naturally play into the bigger story being told, bc age actually means nothing here, and more than anything, jihyun and jaewon strive to be equals to each other, in their world void of expectations.
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piosplayhouse · 10 months
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"bl should have more female characters that aren't just stuck in there to try to break up the main couple" Tianlang Jun is literally RIGHT THERE.
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Hourly tunes round 1 results:
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1pmNL 85% / 1pmNH 15%
1amNL 82.9% / 1amNH 17.1%
8amNL 82.6% / 8amNH 17.4%
8pmNL 81.8% / 8pmNH 18.2%
11pmWW/CF 81.4% / 11pmPG 18.6%
11pmNL 79.7% / 11pmNH 20.3%
4amNL 76.9% / 4amNH 23.1%
7pmNL 76.5% / 7pmNH 23.5%
11amNL 75.5% / 11amNH 24.5%
Noon WW/CF 75.3% / Noon PG 24.7%
10pmWW/CF 73.9% / 10pmPM 26.1%
2pmNL 73.3% / 2pmNH 26.7%
9amNL 73.2% / 9amNH 26.8%
9amWW/CF 72.7% / 9amPG 27.3%
3amWW/CF 72.5% / 3amPG 27.5%
6amWW/CF 72.1% / 6amPG 27.9%
Midnight WW/CF 69.8% / Midnight PG 30.2%
11amWW/CF 68.9% / 11amPG 31.1%
9pmPG 68.6% / 9pmWW/CF 31.4%
1amWW/CF 68.2% / 1amPG 31.8%
6pmWW/CF 67.5% / 6pmPG 32.5%
3amNL 67.4% / 3amNH 32.6%
5pmNL 67.2% / 5pmNH 32.8%
Midnight NL 67% / Midnight NH 33%
cut at the halfway point bc there is a per-text-block character limit
4pmWW/CF 66.6% / 4pmPG 33.4%
8pmWW/CF 66.2% / 8pmPG 33.8%
3pmWW/CF 65.9% / 3pmPG 34.1%
5pmPG 62.7% / 5pmWW/CF 37.3%
2amWW/CF 61.7% / 2amPG 38.3%
9pmNL 60.5% / 9pmNH 39.5%
7amNL 60.4% / 7amNH 39.6%
2pmWW/CF 60.2% / 2pmPG39.8%
5amNH 60.1% / 5amNL 39.9%
3pmNL 59.7% / 3pmNH 40.3%
10pmNL 59.1% / 10pmNH 40.9%
5amWW/CF 58.4% / 5amPG 41.6%
2amNH 57.2% / 2amNL 42.8%
10amNL 56.2% / 10amNH 43.8%
1pmWW/CF 55.5% / 1pmPG 44.5%
6pmNL 55.1% / 6pmNH 44.9%
10amPG 53.6% / 10amWW/CF 46.4%
7amPG 53.2% / 7amWW/CF 46.8%
8amPG 53.2% / 8amWW/CF 46.8%
Noon NL 53.2% / Noon NH 46.8%
4pmNL 52.5% / 4pmNH 47.5%
4amWW/CF 51.9% / 4amPG 48.1%
6amNL 51% / 6amNH 49%
7pmPG 51% / 7pmWW/CF 49%
I colour coded these again since I found it difficult to parse with all black text. I tried to pick four of the available colours that are easy to tell apart while avoiding red and green since that's the most common type of colourblindness. I gave NH yellow and PG purple since those are the hardest to see on light & dark themes respectively and I figured those colours wouldn't be around very long lmao
round 2 starts tomorrow!
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seventh-fantasy · 5 months
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江湖风波恶 楼里莲花清 (the outside world of jianghu is perilous and it is pure as the lotus within this tower)
lotus tower is his body
(never beating the i'm thinking about lhl with reference to nezha 1979 allegations)
anyway.
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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cw: reader is mentioned wearing a dress and corset, mentions of a butt plug, pet play? kinda
very specific thought I have sometimes when I online shop: deku likes to buy your clothes for you. not in a weird, controlling way really—he just has certain….visions of you in the things he sees. and he’s a little obsessive on his worse day, and he knows he won’t ever get the image of you in those pants if he doesn’t buy them for you immediately.
he’s a little bit of an idiot though, is scammed damn near every week because instagram wont stop promoting those websites that sell all might themed undies and those knee highs with his own face plastered all over them. he says it’s worth it though, when the clothing comes and he surprises you with them with the hope of a fashion show.
he sits on the side of the bed, biting at his thumb nail, staring at your moving shadow from under the en-suite bathroom door. he brought you a baby blue dress with fluffy white buttons up the chest, a matching corset that he’s waiting to tie up, the bunny ears that came with it, and a pair of blue boots with fuzzy ears on top. it’s ridiculous, you told him the moment he showed it to you. I’m not some show pony, you poke at him when you take the clothes in hand. You’re just a perv, you mutter as you close the bathroom door behind you, ready to try it all on.
And you feel so stupid when you come out, all fuzzy and blue, ready to ask if you should hop over to him. But Izuku looks damn near in awe, eyes rounded and his hands in the air, reaching out for you, quietly telling you to turn around for him. You don’t expect for him to rush over to you, to hook his chin over your shoulder, to whisper about how pretty you are, for his warm and large hands to tie the corset so gently, that your breath stutters from his closeness.
“You like it?” You ask him, looking at him from under your lashes, watch how his big emerald eyes damn near sparkle as he takes you all in. Izuku hesitates before he answers with a nod, guilty eyes fluttering over to another unopened box you hadn’t seen by the door.
“I think the whole outfit will be complete with one last finishing touch.” He murmurs, doesn’t let your turn in his hold, grabs you tight against him as he hides his warmed cheeks in your neck.
“Which is?” You hum, swaying a little, letting the high skirt of the dress tug up even higher against the very obvious bulge resting at the curve of your ass. Izuku pauses for a moment, before he whispers into your skin,
“A bunny tail butt plug. Just for the aesthetic.” He tacks the last part on quickly, seals it with a kiss against your jaw, groans a little when you gasp. You eye the package now, suddenly interested in this little get up, finally understanding his pervy little methods. You smile though, wide, and stroke the hand resting around your stomach, the other carding through Izuku’s thick locks.
“Just for the aesthetic.” You agree and, you swear, you feel his entire body tremble behind you.
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onemillionfurries · 10 months
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my biggest pet peeve with web 2.0 dying is that people really think that the cryptobro web 3.0 is the inevitable next step. like it's written in stone that the internet will take the form of NFTs and cryptocurrency and the "metaverse" in the future.
like. come on. when was the last time you've actually seen anything NFT related in the year of our lord 2023? has ANYONE other than the cryptobros and their bots on twitter been talking about it?? what about the "metaverse"??? im pretty sure Meta itself even dropped their vr "metaverse" crap.
also even if the "mainstream" internet DOES go in that direction, that doesn't mean we need to follow? Despite the total takeover of web 2.0 and social media, personal sites and forums DO still exist. there are still IRC chats and MUCKs and MUDs. We will still have websites and web browsers in a web 3.0-dominated internet. even if those become niche.
plus, i think the whole reason web 2.0 and social media took off in the first place was because it was convenient. rather than building your own website from scratch, you instead had your own profile that you can easily upload photos to and set your mood and make small posts. people saw it as a way to easily keep up with friends, so they flocked to it.
what the fuck does web 3.0 offer to the average person? needing to put on a clunky, expensive set of goggles to virtually attend a work meeting? artificial scarcity assigned to shitty monkey jpegs?? other than techbros and billionares creating artificial hype around this shit to get people flocking there, what actually has people staying?
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xenon-demon · 9 months
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I... have no idea what this is. No that's a lie I know exactly what this is, it's 2.6k of a Frozen AU with Steve as Elsa and Robin as Anna that I wrote in a fugue state after seeing a friend's production of Frozen: The Musical tonight. I have several WIPs I'm supposed to be working on and this is exactly none of them. Bone apple teeth. (Also I'm genuinely unsure if my usual crew of beloved enablers would even WANT to be tagged in this so... for now I'm not doing a taglist, and if I write any more of this AU I'll do one next time 😂)
“Steve!”
At the sound of his name, the Prince — now King, and boy is Robin going to take a while to get used to that — turns his head towards her. Seeing it's Robin, Steve gives his apologies to whatever noble he was talking to and steps away from their conversation. He makes his way over to Robin in just a few short strides, but his eyes flick back and forth between Robin and her new... well. She doesn't really want to think about what Eddie now is to her. In any case, she can already see a questioning frown start to brew on Steve's face, meaning this will be a much harder sell than she expected.
“Robin!” Steve exclaims, his gaze almost immediately sliding over to Eddie and giving him a once-over. He sounds markedly more subdued when he continues, “I see you've... made a friend.”
“Well, I wouldn't say a friend exactly!” Robin laughs, shrill and stilted, and gives Eddie's arm a pointed squeeze when he doesn't immediately join in. Getting the hint, Eddie finally starts laughing along. Hopefully Steve didn't notice her hinting, since she's had her arm wrapped around Eddie's since before she even called him over.
Steve raises an eyebrow at her, and shit does she need to keep this moving.
“This,” Robin announces, using the hand that's not around Eddie's arm to do a quick flourish in the direction of his face, “is Prince Edward of the Kingdom of Forest-Upon-Hills. We met at the ball tonight.”
“It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty,” says Eddie, trying his best to show the proper respect and bow as he does so. Robin's death grip on his arm prevents him from getting very far.
“Likewise,” Steve replies, sounding incredibly skeptical of this whole conversation. He then shoots Robin a look, which, rude, but also entirely warranted given what she's about to ask him.
Steeling herself, Robin begins to say, “Prince Edward and I-”
“Just Eddie is fine,” Eddie interrupts her, leaning in a little bit closer to her as he whispers. He's got terrible volume control, however, so she wouldn't know it was meant to be a whisper if she hadn't spent the past two hours talking to him.
“Not one for formalities, Prince Eddie?” Steve asks, the weight of his gaze finally leaving Robin's shoulders for a moment. God, she often wishes her brother was easier to read, but never as strongly as she does right now.
Eddie, meanwhile, straightens up so quickly it's like he's been electrocuted.
“Uh, not particularly, no. They grate on me,” Eddie says. He pauses for a moment, and Robin can see the deliberation on his face before he adds, “Your Majesty.”
“I'm not one for formalities either, Prince Eddie,” Steve says. His mouth twitches into a very small smile. “I prefer Steve.”
There's a pause, then, where Steve and Eddie are locked into some strange stare-down, while Robin looks on in vague exasperation. She's pretty sure she could strip naked and swing from the chandelier in the center of the ballroom and neither of them would take any notice of her. She's about to intervene, actually, because they really do not have time for whatever this is, when Eddie miraculously breaks the spell himself. He blinks a bit, looking away from Steve and back to Robin, face significantly more flushed than it was a minute ago.
“I believe you were saying something to K- to Steve, Princess?” Eddie asks, just about tripping over Steve's new title on instinct before catching himself.
Robin just barely restrains herself from rolling her eyes. She really is the bravest, most long-suffering warrior in all of Hawkins.
Putting her brave face back on, Robin turns to her brother and says, “Yes I was, thank you Eddie, I was saying that Prince Eddie and I-” and here she falters, because Steve looks back at her and meets her gaze. She swallows, trying to be subtle, and looks very pointedly at Steve's forehead instead of his eyes. She can't do this if she's looking him in the eye.
She takes another half second to compose herself, then rips the band-aid off.
“Prince Eddie and I seek your blessing for our marriage.”
“Excuse me?” Steve says, more like demands, almost choking on nothing. Robin's never seen her brother this off-kilter in her life. He doesn't even try to compose himself at  all before he says, “Robin, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?”
Robin swallows guiltily, knowing he'll see straight through her if she agrees.
“No. Anything you want to say to me, you can say to both of us,” Robin says, and how her voice stays steady, she doesn't even know. It probably helps that she's still not looking Steve in the eye.
“Robin- I don't-” Steve interrupts himself to run his gloved hands down his face. He pauses for a moment, face completely covered by his hands, and takes a deep sigh. When he removes his hands and starts speaking again, his voice is measured. Calm. Deadly.
“Rob, you can't marry a man you just met,” Steve states. The word man falls heavy off his tongue, and Robin knew she would regret coming out as a lesbian, she just didn't think it would be like this. Squaring herself up for the best performance of her life, Robin begins her improvised speech full of bullshit to convince her brother to let her do this.
Before she can, however, Eddie chimes in with, "You can if it's true love." Steve doesn't even spare Eddie a glance, but his frown does deepen significantly. Shit.
“Steve,” Robin begins, trying very hard to stay calm, “Eddie and I have a connection unlike any I've ever felt before. I lo-love him”—shit, she could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat saying that, and judging by the almost-imperceptible twitch in Steve's eye, he knows too—“and I think it's time I start giving back to the Kingdom of Hawkins.”
“Giving back?” Steve asks, and fuck he's folding his arms across his chest now. “How exactly is this giving back to the kingdom? What you're doing is running headfirst into the first bad decision you can find.”
”I'm a bad decision?” Eddie asks. Both Robin and Steve ignore him.
“No, Steve, I'm giving back by giving the kingdom a new celebration to look forward to after your coronation,” Robin hisses. “A royal wedding is another opportunity to open the castle gates and bring the kingdom together-”
“Absolutely not,” Steve snaps, interrupting her. “We are not opening up the castle gates again for a long time.”
“Why not, Steve?” Robin snaps back. “Tonight's been great for the kingdom's morale, it's been great for you to see people and actually socialize-”
“You have no idea what's good for me, Robin,” Steve says, making her stop dead. It hurts, hearing Steve say that like it's obvious and she's stupid for not knowing it already. What hurts more is that it’s true.
Once it's clear Robin won't keep talking, Steve continues, “You asked for my blessing, and I do not give it. I don't approve of this, and if you're doing this in some misguided attempt to make me happy- quite frankly you've gone insane if you think this would make me happy.”
With that, he turns to walk away.
Okay, sure, she has no idea what Steve's whole deal is or why he's always shutting her out, but Robin is sure she knows what will help.
Sure, part of this crazy scheme is the vague idea that if Robin has a picture-perfect capable-of-bearing-children partnership, then Steve will be under less pressure himself to marry someone who can produce an heir. Maybe, with less scrutiny on his personal choices, he'll learn to relax and open up more over time. That idea falls apart pretty quickly, however, as the thought of producing an heir with a man - even one as fun to talk to as Eddie - makes her want to gouge her own eyes out. No, the real reasoning behind Robin's (admittedly insane) plan to marry someone she met two hours ago at her brother's coronation is so she has an ironclad reason for Steve to open the gates again. Sure, ideally it would've been a woman who caught her eye tonight, but she can't be picky. Robin doesn't meet anyone, especially with the castle locked up like it always is, and she has yet to think of something other than a wedding that would convince Steve to open the gates. Then Eddie came along, laughing and flirting (she thinks, at least; Robin's tried to black that part out) and professing his undying true love to her, and this was the best opportunity she was ever going to get.
And she has to convince her brother to open the gates again. Steve's been thriving tonight. He clearly loves the thrum of people, all of them dancing and laughing and enjoying themselves, and he's slowly coming out of his shell with every conversation he has with their subjects. Robin's spent more time talking to her brother tonight than she has in a long, long time. Too long for her to try to quantify it without crying.
Watching her brother turn away from her, the promise of a relationship with him going forward about to slip through her fingers, she knows she has to do something.
“Steve, wait-” Robin says, reaching out for Steve. She grabs him by the hand, feeling the soft cotton of the white gloves he always, always wears.
“Enough, Robin,” Steve says, not even looking back as he yanks his hand out of her grip. She's trying to hold on, though, so she's left holding his glove as Steve pulls his now-bare hand away from her. God, how upsetting is it that it's been years since she saw the back of her own brother's hands?
Steve swears, then, under his breath. Robin almost doesn't hear it; almost.
“Robin, give me my glove.” Steve's not asking; he's demanding. Robin can work with this.
“Not unless you talk to me about why you won't open the gates. Look at how tonight went, it's been so good for you-”
“This isn't up for debate, Robin, give me my glove,” and Steve reaches for it then, but Robin quickly holds the glove up high above her head before he can grab it.
“Why isn't it up for debate? Why do you isolate yourself all the time?” Robin's almost dancing now, twisting and turning as she tries to keep the glove away from Steve's grabbing hands. It doesn't help that he's taller than her, but she's more agile than people think, especially since Steve's in full coronation regalia right now. The material's stiff as a board at the best of times.
“You wouldn't understand, just give me the- ugh!” Steve's stopped trying to grab the glove, instead trying to restrain her and make it easier to grab.
“Maybe I would understand if you'd talk to me instead of shutting me out all the time-” Steve's almost got her in a headlock, but Robin ducks out from underneath it and quickly steps away and out of Steve's reach.
“Robin, that's enough!” Steve shouts, and then several things happen consecutively.
Steve reaches out towards Robin with his right hand, the one missing the glove.
Robin thinks she's going crazy, but- what look like snowflakes shoot out from Steve's hand where he's reached for her.
The crowd, most of whom had turned to look at Steve's shout, gasp, almost in unison.
“I- Steve-” Robin says, not quite sure where to start with the -- actually quite sizable -- pile of snow now on the ballroom floor.
“No,” Steve gasps, and Robin's never heard her brother so distraught. It makes something keen inside her, the sheer anguish in his voice. “No, no no no, this can't be happening, this can't-” Steve reaches up to pull at this hair, but more snow and ice shoots out from his hand as soon as it's pointing towards the ceiling. He flinches away from his own hand, sheer terror on his face, but with every movement Steve makes more and more snow and ice surrounds him. Within a few seconds, there's a wind picking up as well, and it's like a snowstorm is starting to form right there in the castle dining room.
The crowd, originally shocked into silence, starts to move again. Robin hears screaming, people running, shouting from the guards about an evacuation plan, but it's all faint and distorted like she's underwater. All she can focus on right now is Steve, the way his terror is only worsening by the moment.
“Steve, let me help you,” Robin calls over the roar of the crowd and the storm, taking a few steps towards him. She needs to get his attention before getting closer, the last thing she wants to do right now is startle him.
“Stay away from me!” Steve yells, holding up his hands in an instinctive 'stay back' gesture. Yet more ice shoots out towards Robin as he does so. “I’m not safe!”
“I don't care! You're my brother!” Robin shouts back, but Steve doesn't seem to hear her. He's looking down at his hands in horror, then at the waist-high line of ice between the two of them.
Robin somehow knows what he's going to do the moment before he does it.
“Steve!” Robin screams, breaking into a run. Steve's faster than her, always has been, so he makes it to the doors of the ballroom well before she can catch him. It also helps that people, even the guards posted at the doors, part to make room for him whenever he draws near. Seeing Steve push open the ballroom doors just enough to slip through them, Robin yells again, “Steve! Stop!”
“Princess Robin!” Someone crashes into Robin then, nearly sending the two of them flying. (Robin mentally thanks whatever God there may be that she wore pants and not a dress.) After regaining her footing, Robin looks at her assailant to find- oh, it's that guy. The Duke of one of their main trading partners, Tommy something. Haggard? Halfwit? Yeah, something like that.
“Princess Robin,” Tommy Hapless says, bending over with one hand on his knees and the other holding Robin's elbow as he catches his breath. God, Robin does not have time for this. “Princess, you can't- we need guidance. We need someone to... to lead us while the King is... indisposed.”
“I really don't have time for this,” Robin snaps, brushing his hand off her elbow. “Steve's my brother, I have to find him before he gets hurt!”
“I don't think... he's the one who'll be getting hurt,” Tommy Hanger-On says between gasps, quietly, but not so quiet Robin doesn't hear. She makes a point to stomp on his toes as she stalks off towards Eddie, who is doing his best to help people follow the evacuation advice. He looks faintly queasy, and very much like he would rather be literally anywhere else, but he's actually doing a pretty good job of guiding people where the guards want them.
Eddie doesn't notice her coming, so he jumps when Robin grabs him by the shoulder. She turns him around to face her, then grabs him by the other shoulder as well so she's looking him right in the eyes.
“I need to find Steve,” Robin says, not waiting for Eddie to finish whatever question he's opened his mouth to ask before continuing, “Can you take care of the kingdom until we get back?”
Eddie goes pale instantly. “What? I can't-”
“You're a prince, right? I know Forest-Upon-Hills is a pretty small kingdom, but how different can Hawkins really be?” Eddie doesn't look reassured, but Robin cares very little about that right now. She claps him on both shoulders in what she hopes is an encouraging gesture.
She grabs Eddie's hand and thrusts it up into the air, shouting, “Prince Eddie is in charge until I return!”
She then drops his hand before turning and running out into the night, ignoring the chaos behind her and the faint sounds of Eddie's confused protests.
Nothing matters to her now except for finding Steve.
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