#there aren't even that many children!! two of them had just turned thirteen! teenagers!! but there was just so much children for so few

[sorrellegiance]

worn the fuck out why did my grandparents have so many children and then why did all their children have so many children

#played THREE rounds of foosball (first to nine points each) with the eight year old and then he wanted to play animals upon animals which is #a very delightful animal stacking die rolling game and i could've played a lot more of that only then the ten year old came along and wante #to start a game of monopoly and i did some theatrics about how LONG and BORING monopoly was and i'd rather play the spinning fish game with #the four year old but then they wheedled me a bit and i said fine but i would be setting a timer for thirty minutes on my phone and then i #would be fishing but then it was thirty minutes and i said fine ten more minutes because i'd just bought boardwalk and was flush with hope #but then had some spectacularly bad rolls and had to start mortgaging everything and somewhere in all that i forgot to stick to the timer #and then i was mortgaged to the hilt and hungry (two aunts got stuck on the bridge coming and dinner was pushed back and back) until finall #i landed on a property with a hotel and then another with FOUR houses on it and that was it for my career as a landlord #after dinner i sat down at the keyboard and banged out some tunes with the four year old (her full force with her palms and me rattling up #and down the top octave with two pointer fingers which i think will be quite bruised tomorrow) and it turned into freeze when she abruptly #switches the keyboard off and runs a lap around the grand piano and continue banging when she gets back on the bench and then after that sh #started chasing me around the big living room sectional and there was a lot of slipping skidding around corners in my socks which was FUN A #HECK and then i let her roll me around on the nice thick rug and then she chased me some more around everyone eating cake (mango mousse and #a green tea three layer with red bean cream SO GOOD) and then my mom sighed a lot about how stinky i was in the car #there aren't even that many children!! two of them had just turned thirteen! teenagers!! but there was just so much children for so few #children (six of em) sheesh!! okay yeah definitely time to shower now sor #a happy thing #sor.txt

[bangtanreadingcorner]

all this time • kim seokjin

plot – you and your best friend, seokjin, drifted apart after he became a famous actor. years later, you find your way back to each other.

words – 3.5K

When your best friend Kim Seokjin got the lead role in a movie when you two were eighteen years old, you were ecstatic for him. What you were less ecstatic about was the fact that you grew apart to the point where you didn't even greet each other if you happened to cross one other in the street. Something that didn't happen very often because he moved to the city, but it still happened, each time he visited his parents in your hometown.

You, on the other hand, could never leave your home. Not forever, at least. It's not that bad, despite what some of the teenagers might say, it's a really big town. Big enough that not everyone knows everyone, and nobody poked their noses where it didn't belong. There is a lot to do, too, if you're a local and you know where to look. You love this place and you'll never completely leave it. You left years ago, to study and become a doctor, but then you came back. Now you live in an apartment and your work at the local hospital. It's not glamourous and glittery but it's home and it's what you've always wanted. It makes you happy and content, to help people and to heal physical injuries, get parents and children alike back on their feet, curing someone who's sick.

Sometimes there is a hollow place in your chest that aches, somedays more than others, but mostly you ignore it. You know what's missing from your life, you know what belongs there. You also know you're never getting it back, so you push past it and deal with it.

But beyond that, life was good.

A scream startles you out of your reverie and you come back to earth, looking around the small coffee shop you were in from where to were seated by the window, nearly rolling your eyes when you saw what it was.

It was Kim Seokjin, famous actor who had most woman's heart skipping a beat, who had just walked into the coffee shop, who used to be your best friend. It was two girls who spotted him and was now giggling while pointing - at least discreetly - at him with wide smiles on their faces.

You wonder with vague amusement what they would say if they knew that when you were thirteen, he stuck an olive up his nose because you bet him that his nose was to small and he wouldn't be able to do it.

Your eyes suddenly met Seokjin's, and you looked away immediately, missing the way his face fell into a cherstfallen look. But Seokjin, ever the professional, quickly wiped his features into a charming smirk, even if he felt like he was breaking inside. He wondered, not for the first time, if stardom was worth the price of losing you.

You ignored his presence as best you could, finishing your hot chocolate and the rest of your breakfast. After paying for your meal and getting ready to leave, you couldn't help but take another look at him, because he was your best friend Jin for long before he was Kim Seokjin the Actor and despite what you try to convince yourself of, you still miss him.

You looked to where he was seated and found him already staring. Instead of immediately looking away, you let your gaze linger, long enough that he gave you a hesitant smile and a little wave. You finally adverted your eyes, turned around and walked out of the cafe.

***

"I heard Seokjin-ah is back in town." Your mother said conversationally when you went to visit your parents that evening for dinner.

"Yeah, I saw him this morning in Misses Jung's Diner." You answered, making sure to keep your tone disinterested, not wanting her to get into this topic.

Your mother brightened, as she bustled around the kitchen. Your father was in the living room, watching television. "Oh, and how is he doing? The star life treating him well?"

"How would I know? I didn't talk to him." You shrugged with a light frown. "I told you, we're not friends anymore."

"And who's decision was that?" Your mother asked, rounding on you with narrowed eyes.

"No one, it was just life. We drifted apart, that's it." You answered honestly. You really did drift apart, but it could have been prevented, if Seokjin put in more effort. You did everything you could to keep your friendship, but eventually he stopped returning your calls and texts, and it wasn't until he finally didn't even send you a text on your twenty first birthday that you gave up completely. When you got a new phone from your parents, you didn't save his number again.

"Maybe now that he's back, you two can patch things up again." You mother suggested with an excited smile. "You know, you aren't getting any younger and I want grandbabies."

"Mom!" You gasped in a little exasperation, but not surprised at all. This has been going on since you turned 25. You suppose you're lucky that she's not like Mrs. Kwon next door who tries to set her daughter up with any willing man, that she just teases you with Seokjin every now and again. Probably because she knows you're in love with him, even after all these years. "I'm 28, not 48. Also, Jin and I were just friends. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You can never tell me enough times that I'll be convinced." She said with a pointed look in her eyes as she grinned at you. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, regretting the night you showed up at home and cried your eyes out because you realised that you are in love with Seokjin and he's gone and you never got to tell him. You almost went to Seoul that weekend to tell him.

"Just because I have feelings for him, doesn't mean he has feelings for me." You reminded her.

"Hah!" She scoffed, muttering under her breath about 'stupid children' and 'won't know unless it hits them in the face'. You shook your head with a fond smile as you watched her until the door bell rang.

You frowned lightly, "Are you expecting someone?"

"Yes." You mother nodded, brightening up significantly, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "Oh, that must be Minji and Seokjin."

"You invited Jin and his mom to dinner?" You hissed at you mother, only glaring slightly. You assumed Seokjin's dad wasn't coming because he isn't home, probably on rotation - a military man through and through is how you'd discribe Mr. Kim, if ever asked.

You got a whack with the dishtowel behind the head, "Y/N, behave."

Dinner was a boisterous affair, but not from your part. You didn't know if it was thanks to your mother - but you'd bet a month's salary that it was - that you and Seokjin end up sitting next to each other, but you did. He looked at you, a lot. You could feel it, his gaze like a brand on your skin.

"Seokjin-ah, your mom tells me you'll be in town for a while." Your mom said with a bright smile and you breathed a little easier when he moved his eyes away from you. Your heart was still unsteady.

"Yes, Ma'am, I'll be staying for a month before my next film's production starts." He answered politely, voice deep and soothing and everything that you want. You clenched your fists in your lap, swallowing thickly as you reminded yourself that you couldn't have it.

"That's wonderful." Your mother said.

After finishing your dinner, you had to get out of there. "Excuse me, I'm feeling like swinging."

"Me too." Seokjin said with a cheery smile, rising from his chair as well.

"You're not invited." You snapped and felt guilty when he flinched.

"Y/N, this is not how I raised you." Your mother said with a slight glower on her face. You look to your dad for help, but he just smiles at you before stuffing his mouth with more food.

You sighed in resignation, "Fine, he can join me if he really wants."

You walked to the backdoor without looking to see if Seokjin was following you. You wanted to leave so you could get away from him, clear your head and get your bearings right.

The swing you talked about wasn't an actual swing - although you do like going to the swings in the park a few blocks from your house - but a swinging bench that your dad hung for you from the tree behind the house years ago. The swinging bench held countless memories of you and Jin, playing and having fun. You sat down and wait for him to sit down too before kicking with your feet against the ground and swinging.

It was dark and quiet outside, just the sounds of the night animals waking up. It was soothing in a way that little else was. The comforting and safe presence next to you hasn't been there for a decade, and you soaked it up, knowing it wouldn't last past tonight.

"How have you been?" Seokjin eventually asked, breaking the silence that settled over you two.

"Do we have to talk?" You asked and it's not meant to come out that sour or mean, but there's a lot of resentment in you towards him for just letting fifteen years of friendship go down the drain for fame. The friendship between you was something you cherished most in this world and before you were in love with him, you just loved him. Losing a loved one always hurt. And it did. It hurt like hell when you lost him and your friendship.

He flinched from your words, again, and you felt guilty again. He looked at you but you didn't look at him as he spoke. "I'm sorry, that I ever hurt you by leaving."

"It's fine, it's been ten years. I'm over it." You waved him off, when really it isn't fine and you aren't over it.

"Still, I never wanted to hurt you." Seokjin said, sincere and open.

You sighed, closing your eyes and leaning back on the bench. He had the right idea, by apologizing, but he was apologizing for the wrong thing. "You leaving didn't hurt me, Jin. Cutting me out of your life did."

***

A few days later on your day off, you were riding your motorcycle, on your way to the mall - the bookstore had finally let you know that the medical journal you ordered had arrived - when you heard it. Voices screaming 'Seokjin- or Jin-oppa'. Your head automatically swivel in that direction and you didn't know whether to laugh at the sight or feel sorry for Seokjin, who was being chased by five girls. You wanted to just drive away.

But then you caught sight of the slightly terrified look on his face and your heart twisted violently. You swore, and revved your bike before turning around and making a U-turn, riding to where Seokjin was. Both him and the girl's stopped in their tracks when they noticed you were driving straight at them. They all froze, not moving or running like most people would have.

You braked and slowed down until you were infront of Seokjin, idling as you flipped open the visor and called, "Hey, Kim Seokjin! Get on!"

He didn't hesitate, climbing on and wrapping his arms around your waist tightly before you took off. You drove him to his house, not making any detours because you wanted to get away from Seokjin before he could realise the fast pace of your heart was not because of adrenaline but because of his close proximity.

"Can we talk?" He asked after he got off, placing a hand on your forearm to prevent you from taking off.

You took a deep breath, then turned off your bike and took off your helmet, looking at him expectantly while flattening your hair. "Talk about what?"

"Anything, I don't care." He answered, tone bordering on pleading. "I just want to talk to you."

"You were the one that shut me out." You said, voice just this side of cold as you rested your feet on the tar road.

"Because I wanted to make something of myself and I couldn't do that if all I thought about was packing up and coming home to you." Seokjin defended himself, hoping that you'd see reason.

Instead, you scoffed at him. "Well, you did. So, congratulations. I hope you're happy and I hope it was worth it."

"I missed you." Seokjin said out of the blue. Your body tensed and you wanted to look at him, but you didn't. Too afraid that if you did you'd cave and forgive him. "Everyday, for the past ten years, I've missed you. I never stopped, not once."

The words was like a healing salve to your sore and bruised heart that never quite healed right. You swallowed thickly. "What do you want me to say, Jin?"

It was quiet for a while, before he finally asked. "Do you really hate me that much?"

You laughed a little, as if. How much easier would your life be if you could have just hated him after he stopped talking to you. If you did, maybe you could have moved on, had those grandchildren your mother is always nagging about. You shook your head, "No, I don't hate you, I never have. I never could."

"Can we try to be friends again?" He asked, bright and hopeful and you hated to be the one to destroy that, but you didn't have another choice.

"Just so we can drift apart again?" You challenged, scoffing a little. "No, thanks, I already lost you once, I'd rather not do it all over again."

"It's different this time." Seokjin insisted earnestly.

You opened your mouth, to give a harsh remark, but when you saw the honesty and seriousness in his eyes, you asked instead, "How?"

Seokjin smiled at you and you ignored the way it made you feel like you could melt into a puddle of goo. "Well, for one, we're both grown up this time around. And two, I've decided that maybe it's time to start putting roots down."

"Haven't you done that in the city?" You questioned with a frown.

"Not really, no." Seokjin shook his head. "There's just no place like home, you know?" He asked, giving you a look

You looked at him and smiled slightly, "Yeah, I know."

"Can I show you something? Tomorrow?" Seokjin asked, and seeing your hesitation, he added on a gentle, "Please."

"Okay." You agreed, watching as he gave you a brilliant smile. Your heart singed and your stomach flip-flopped.

"You can come by tomorrow at 11." He said and you nodded in agreement.

"See you tomorrow."

You started your bike and drove away, anticipation and excitement for the next day knotting your stomach.

***

"Why did you bring me here?" You asked the next day, heart full of bursting emotions as you looked at the house. It wasn't just any house, it was your dream house. The house you fell in love with when you were fifteen years old, it wasn't a mansion, but it wasn't a small house either, at three stories high. It was an old, fixer upper, but you've always loved it. It was a little secluded, being just out of town and in the woods, and it was where you planned to stay one day.

Seokjin knew all of this. You two sneaked here many times and he listened to you rant about the house and how perfect it is even more times. So, why bring you here now?

"Remember what I said about putting roots down?" He asked and you hummed in confirmation, nodding slightly, a bit confused. "I bought it."

Your eyes widened and you gaped at him, completely thrown off by his words. "You- what? Why?"

Suddenly, his demeanor turned nervous, hands trembling slightly and voice shaky when he spoke, "I was hoping that, maybe, it could be a home. For us."

"Jin-"

"Just let me talk, okay? Because if I don't say this right now, I never will." Seokjin said, holding up a hand to silence you, and you nodded, a little greatful because you had no idea what the hell to say to that. "I've been in love with you since I was thirteen years old and ten years ago I left because I had nothing to offer you, I had no money, no way to give you your dream house. But now? Now I can give you everything you deserve."

You still didn't know what to say. You stayed quiet, thinking about what he said and how to respond to that because this - Jin telling you he loves you back - is everything you've ever wanted.

"Jin, I didn't need this, it was just a dream. You-" You broke off, emotions choking you up. "You were what I really wanted."

"I know, Y/N. I've known you almost all my life, and I know material things isn't what makes you happy, but I wanted to be able to give them to you." He said sincerely, looking at you with his chocolatey depths that made your heartbeat speed up. He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "These last ten years, they were hell with out you. I tried to stay your friend, but it got to hard to talk to you everyday and not be with you, not being able to tell you what I feel. So, I started putting distance between us, promising myself that one day, I'll come back and tell you everything."

Your mouth felt dry, heart thundering in your ears as you looked at him. Your voice was a whisper when you spoke, "Do you know how much you hurt me? Do you have any idea?"

"I do, because it hurt me too. I'm sorry, Y/N, so truly sorry and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll let me." He said, taking a step forward but you took one back, needing space to think.

"How do I know you won't just leave again?" You asked him, challenging and a little mean.

"Because I love you and I want a life with you." Seokjin said, then much more hesitant and softer, he asked, "Do you want that too?"

You stared at him, heart beating wildly, eyes stinging and chest constricting. You didn't think it was possible to feel this much all at once. Finally, you nodded slowly. "Yeah, I do."

Seokjin sighed in relief, shoulders slumping over as he nearly kneeled over with the force of his relief. He took a step closer and when you didn't move away from him again, he stepped closed until he was near enough to pull you close, hugging you tightly to his body, the way your body fit against his familiar, but at the same time it was new because he'd never hugged you before while knowing that you reciprocate his feelings. He dreamed, wished, hoped but never fully believed it. His whole life, everything he built, was done on nothing but his love for you. He didn't know if you felt the same or if you'd even still be here by the time he came back or even if you were, if you would still be single then. All he had was his love. His love that burned brighter than ever before.

"Hey, stupid." You called softly, cheeks aching you were smiling so wide.

"I'm not-" He cut himself off with a resigned sigh. "What is it?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." He said, and you could hear the smile in this voice.

"It's not going to be easy." You warned him, because there was at least sixty different ways this could go wrong. You held him a little tighter and he squeezed back.

"Nothing worth having ever is." He retorted smugly.

"Smartass." You huffed, slapping lightly against his back, more fond than anything else.

"Your smartass, though."

"Yeah," You nodded with a happy smile, lifting your head from his chest so you can look into his eyes. "Mine."

Seokjin cupped your cheeks, leaning down and pressing a quick and gentle kiss against your lips. He pulled away, cheeks a lovely shade of pink. You could feel the heat spreading to your own cheeks as well. "Sorry, I should have asked before I kissed you."

"You call that a kiss?" You huffed, watching as realisation spread in his eyes. He smirked down at you and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, you yanked him down and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss, because really, it's been over a decade since you've wanted to do this. He didn't hesitate to respond to your kiss, just as eagerly and you realised that this was finally happening. After all this time, years of pining and hurting and thinking it never would, it was finally happening.

Your mother is going to gloat all the way into the next century.

the end.

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