#that i'm expected to never ever let come to surface lest i be branded a horrible abusive manipulative etc person i get a little bit jealous

[electrosquash]

And i do feel like there's an increased pressure on people with personality disorders to prove their moral integrity (e.g. on occasions like current events) and show they're one of the good ones and this time i'm choosing not to

#been thinking about this for a few days now but i can't really put it into words. #basically on “low bpd” phases i'm thinking every thought twice and running on several layers of introspection #to make up for my lack of empathy and the possibility that i'm spiralling into bizarre logical systems built up on emotions firing wild #and i do take pride in being able to manage my bpd somewhat well but when i see people without pd expressing the same behaviours #that i'm expected to never ever let come to surface lest i be branded a horrible abusive manipulative etc person i get a little bit jealous #bpd stuff #i don't know if this makes sense. ignore if it doesn't. jealous probably isn't the right word either