#tatsumi “who's your partner now!” kanji has so much respect for yosuke he wants yosuke to rely on him too!!!

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #persona 4 #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #EVERYDAY IM HOWLING. EVERYDAY IM SCREAMING. #for context this comes at the heel of yosuke charging at mitsuo kubo in rage because of his flippance towards killing saki and he's hit har #but souji and kanji jump in to protect him #like ok a lot of things going on here such as the obvious OH MY GODDDD yosuke being yosuke and taking things on for himself #because he doesn't want to bother people?? because he's made it his own responsibility? because his survivor's guilt is still lingering? #i mean don't tell me he doesn't look at how he surrendered to his shadow like apart from his self-sacrificing propensity #i low key feel like everytime yosuke demands answers about saki's death from the murderer/god/etc there's this undertone of how #he would rather it have been him #he cheapens his own life so much and for what #BUT ALSO!! ALSO!! not just souji jumping in because we know he would he's down bad for yosuke BUT ALSO KANJI #listen you've all heard me talk so much about how i adore kanji yosuke friendships #i can't really tell whether it's kanji or souji that says “haven't we earned your trust yet” but it's a line that hits SO HARD #regardless of which one of them was saying it and i think it hits hard in slightly different manners #it's kanji's admiration and how he looks up to yosuke and how he wants to be closer to yosuke as a friend/kouhai/whatever you want #tatsumi “who's your partner now!” kanji has so much respect for yosuke he wants yosuke to rely on him too!!! #and this stands out because kanji is very conscious of social hierarchies and such but as a kouhai as yosuke's junior #he's so specific about wanting yosuke to treat him as an equal #i smtimes feel bad for kanji because he has a bit of that vibe of a poor puppy trailing after souyo because he wants to be in their convos! #he wants to be included! but critically he also just! wants them to SEE him!! #going a lil off tangent but i think kanji's attitude towards souji is very much one of kouhai respect like he understands his place #of like deferring to souji or getting advice from him and just generally regarding him as a reliable mentor #and it's the same with chie and yukiko? but idk man. with yosuke. guys. with yosuke i always feel like kanji wants to break that hierarchy #that convention. that social norm. to cross a line and be closer to yosuke. #he's more willing to tease yosuke in a way he doesn't with the other 2nd years. and this isn't coming from a place of disrespect either #AGAIN. KANJI REALLY LIKES YOSUKE. he wants to protect yosuke!!! he jumps at the opportunity for yosuke to rely on him!! #i'm getting delulu but there's those hints of “yosuke senpai i want you to see me as a man!!!” kind of energy here and i'm it's yknow hmm

[individuationfic]

Seeking to Seize Chapter 16

AO3

Yu has absolutely no idea how he got into this situation.

First, they have to sleep in a love hotel for their school trip. Yosuke has been acting weird enough around Yu since the summer festival (not looking him in the eye, not sitting next to him during lunch, not acting like Yosuke) without the two of them being shoved in a room made for sex with a single, rotating bed like some kind of cheap porno or poorly-written fanfiction.

Now, Rise has dragged them to some club for drinks. (“Non-alcoholic!” she insisted at Yu’s startled look. “No booze, I promise!”) It’s like the strip club all over again, Yu thinks. It’s dark with sporadically flashing lights, so it will be hard to read lips and use JSL while he’s here.

While Rise and Kanji try to convince Shirogane to join them, Yu grabs Yosuke by the elbow and pulls him aside. He pulls out his phone and writes a quick message in his memos. Signing and lip reading will be hard here. I need you to help.

Even in the low light, Yu can tell Tosuke looks a little panicked. He licks his lips, swallows visibly, and says, slow, so Yu can clearly see, “Whatever you need, Partner.”

“No booze, my ass,” Yosuke mumbles. He sitting between Yu, who is sober, and Teddie, who is markedly less sober. He raises his voice so Rise can hear to say, “What happened to no alcohol?”

Rise squints at him. “They said they weren’t gonna put booze in the drinks!” she slurs with a pout and, yeah, if Yosuke needed proof he still likes girls, this would be it. Rise sprawls dramatically and ends up in the lap of a visibly uncomfortable Shirogane. “Naoto-kun, tell Yosuke-senpai to stop bullying me!”

Yukiko bursts into ugly laughter out of nowhere and, deciding Rise is playing some sort of game, clambers into Chie’s lap. Chie goes pink.

Then Rise complains about being treated like a kid and brings out the King’s Game.

It gets off to a rough start. Teddie tries to make Yu kiss him, but misses and tackles Kanji instead. Then, a couple turns later, when Yu’s the King, he makes Yosuke give him a piggyback ride around the room. He tries not to let himself get distracted by Yu’s weight, or by Yu’s arms around his neck falling down to his chest, or by Yu’s thighs resting on his hips. My life, he thinks, was so much simpler before Yu.

Despite his new sexual frustrations, Yosuke feels more at ease with Yu than he has in a while. He knows Yu has noticed his distance, and he can only wonder if Yu know why, but this feels easy.

That’s what love feels like, Jiraya says, and Yosuke nearly chokes on the amber-colored drink he is cautiously consuming.

So, yeah, things are going kind of well now.

Until Rise almost spills the beans about everything.

A sleepless night later, Yu watches as his schoolmates wait for the train to come. Rise, Yukiko, and Teddie all look sheepish; they’re probably embarrassed about “getting drunk off the atmosphere” at the club. Yu didn’t think shame was even a word in Teddie’s vocabulary until now.

He’s mostly glad Yosuke isn’t avoiding him anymore. He has an arm slung around Yu’s shoulder in an easy, natural affection, his chest shaking slightly as he laughs at something Chie is saying. It feels like things are back to normal after whatever it was that freaked Yosuke out. Maybe hanging out at the club wasn’t so bad, after all.

Yu finally sees who he was looking for: Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai. They’ve been strangely evasive this whole trip, but they both look a lot happier than he’s ever seen them. Yuki-senpai is smiling, which is something Yu never thought he would see. And, looking closer, Yu can see that Shiomi-senpai isn’t wearing a necklace anymore.

The ring has moved to her left ring finger.

This trip must have been good for them, he thinks.

Shirogane Naoto appears on the Midnight Channel.

Senpai, for the first time since Kanji has known him, looks angry.

He’s still not too good at JSL, but he gathers that Senpai thinks Shirogane got kidnapped on purpose. Amagi-senpai and Hanamura-senpai have to take turns trying to calm him down as they progress through the lab. On one such occasion, when Senpai has to be restrained from trying to wrestle a Shadow to the floor, Kanji sidles up to Rise and says, “Do you think Shirogane wanted to get kidnapped?”

Rise blinks, like he startled her. “Oh, Kanji-kun! Sorry, I was thinking.”

“About what?” Kanji asks.

“Something feels weird about this one,” she says, lips pursed. “You know how we can go back into other places in the TV to train?” When Kanji nods, she continues, “Well, the bathhouse and Void Quest feel different from the castle and the strip club. I always chalked it up to the castle and the strip club coming from girls and the batthouse and Void Quest coming from guys, but the lab…” She pauses, considering her wording. “The lab doesn’t feel like either.”

He feels his brow furrow. “What do you mean?”

“It’s hard to describe. I can just tell if one of these TV worlds was created by a boy or by a girl. They feel different. But this one doesn’t have that distinct feeling. I can’t sense any sort of gender in here.” Then, like she’s trying to change the subject, she asks, “Why is Yu-senpai so angry?”

“I think he feels responsible for Shirogane being kidnapped,” Kanji says. “He really hates it when people are in danger, and I think he thinks we made Shirogane too curious about the case. I’ve seen him saying Shirogane might’ve gotten himself kidnapped on purpose, so he probably feels guilty about it.”

She blinks at him again, then smiles. “You’re a lot more perceptive than you get credit for, Kanji-kun.”

Her praise gets caught in his throat and he thinks his heart beats a little faster. He’s saving from commenting when Satonaka-senpai says, “Hurry up, you two! We’re leaving!” and they have to move on.

Shirogane-kun’s Shadow is fast. Almost distressingly fast. Rise can barely keep it in her sights from her place away from the battlefield. I wish I could fight with them, she thinks, biting her lip.

You are needed here, Himiko says, gentle. They need you to make the right observations.

I just get so nervous watching them. The Shadow gears up for a Mabufudyne, and Rise breathes a sigh of relief when Yukiko-senpai manages to dodge it. They put themselves in so much danger, and I can’t do anything to help.

You would not be here if you were not useful. Your mission is much too important for that, and your leader knows it.

And what if Teddie hadn’t awakened to his Persona? Rise asks, eyes firmly locked on Yu-senpai as he prepares one of his more powerful magic attacks. The team doesn’t need two navigators.

Worrying about “what-if’s” will only bring you misery, my love.

So you admit that you don’t know.

I have never pretended to be omnipotent. Chie-senpai goes down, hard, and Kanji-kun has to drag her away from the direct line of fire to help her back up. Yu-senpai decided it would be a good idea to distribute healing items equally across the whole team for moments just like this. I am an advisor, but I am not all-knowing.

Well, that’s not very helpful. Despite Yukiko-senpai’s vocal protests, Chie-senpai rushes back into the fray. Rise squints. I think Shirogane-kun’s Shadow is almost done.

The Shadow falls. Shirogane-kun’s Persona awakens. Kanji-kun catches him when he collapses, and Rise tries to ignore her twinging heart.

“I don’t really feel like a boy or a girl.”

It’s been a few days since Naoto’s rescue, and they can’t believe they’re doing this. These people have been interfering with a police investigation and lying about what they find. The big one—Tatsumi—has known violent tendencies, and the Amagi girl is from one of the most respected families in Inaba. They have no idea how open these people are to complications in gender!

The idol, Risette, lets out a little cheer. “I knew it!” she says, rounding on Tatsumi. “I told you something was different!”

Tatsumi makes a placating noise at her and the other girl, Satonaka, hisses, “Rise, have some tact!”

Hanamura snorts.  “Like you’re one to talk. You kicked me in the balls for scratching your DVD.”

“That was a collector’s edition! I had to save up for three months to afford it!”

“That doesn’t mean you need to get violent about it!”

“Yeah, it kinda does!”

To Naoto’s surprise, Amagi is the one to say, “Stop it, you two! You’re scaring Shirogane…” She trails off.

Naoto realizes she’s waiting for them to supply a suffix and says, “Shirogane-san.” Then, after a pause: “Or, you could call me Naoto, if you prefer.”

Their silver-haired leader, Narukami, signs something Hanamura translates as, “Welcome to the team, Naoto-san.”

They blink at how easily these relative strangers have accepted them. “So you don’t mind that I’m—” they don’t have the word “—like this?”

Several members of the team exchange bland looks. Tatsumi says, “I’m bi, Rise’s pan, Narukami-senpai is gay, Hanamura-senpai is bi—” Hanamura squawks at this. “Shut it, senpai, it’s obvious. Amagi-senpai and Satonaka-senpai are dating each other—” here, Amagi and Satonaka go red— “and Teddie…”

The last member of the group, a pretty blond boy Naoto has never seen in their life, says, “I like pretty people!”

“We’re not sure what Teddie is,” Tatsumi finishes.

Risette smiles, too broad and too happy to be anything but honest. “You’re in good hands with us, Naoto-san.”

Naoto does not cry, no matter how hard they want to.

#individuation #ao3fic #persona series #persona 4