#sorry I'm so anxious rn it's translating into anger i guess

[joyridingmp3]

cancelled all future singing lessons 😌

#sweet motherfucking CHRIST that bitch was annoying #i tried soooooo hard to overlook those things and see the good in her #but when she looked at the clock 18 minutes into our 30 minute session and then KEPT. TALKING!!! i was over it #also. very hard for me to sit there #while someone im PAYING MONEY to teach me a skill #tells me aaaaaaaall about their abusive father who used to physically assault them #meanwhile I'm having flashbacks to my OWN trauma when MY abusive father used to do all that #but i have some decorum and tact and sense of context and time and a place #and I also value my privacy #so i never said anything #but i just had to smile and nod and politely say 'wow. that's must have been SOOOO hard for youuuuu :((' #like oh my GOD #can we just fucking SING?? #can we just do the thing I paid you to do?? #I don't fucking CARE!! #mine #sorry I'm so anxious rn it's translating into anger i guess #but I'm glad that's over and I'll never have to deal with that again #I'll just google it and teach myself to sing #that's what I get for relying on others #every time i seek help from another person. or rely on them for something #they ALWAYS let me down. and I have to figure it out for myself #I don't know why I thought this would be any different #I can do it myself. I always have. and I always will. i don't need anyone #also when she said for a whole MONTH that she'd teach me this technique next session. and didn't. #it was sooooo over